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 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 5
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Just one email like the other ladies have said

but please say more in it than :

1) Hi
2) Hi you are cute
3) Hi, you want to chat
4) Hi I think you are sexy
5) Hi want to meet me for coffee
6) Hi your profile makes me
7)
8) your dogs are cute ( I have often wondered if this means they want to date my dogs )
9) your profile is funny

If a guy wants me to write him back he is going to have to give me a little bit more to respond to.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 15
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History
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:32:58 AM
One email is enough. I used to try to answer each and every email, but I've received "nasty grams" when I let a man know that I'm not interested and so I've basically let the "answering of each one" go.

It's actually kind of goofy ...
**I receive an email in which the gentleman shows interest.
**I answer the email and let him know that I really don't believe we are as much a "match" as he believes.
**He sends back a "nasty gram" stating that women my age are just here because we are "desperate and needy" and when a man really does show interest, we blow him off.

Huh? That makes me wonder if he just got in touch with me because he thought I was an "easy" target ... given that I'm sooooooo "desperate and needy".
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 9/28/2007 6:50:04 AM
The whole "how many does it take till you crack?" thing I really find disturbing. My question here about women who want multiple e-mails to prove a man is interested is, where did you get that from? Did some guy tell you that? It doesn't sound like something a woman would do.

One e-mail is enough. As for more than one, no. Bad idea. Did I say no? Yeah, it's no...don't do it.

A LOT of people (mostly women, but some men) don't respond because we've been contacted after the fact to continue dissecting our dis-interest, which of course makes us much less interested than before, if that's possible. They either call us names and tell us they didn't want us anyway (um, hello...yeah we'll believe that), ask us why we're not interested (men into self torture) or ignore us and keep sending messages (complete denial).

Personally I respond to all coherent unoffensive e-mails, but i'll be honest, about 95% of them I respond to in politeness, not interest.

If you send a second message; cross your fingers. There might be a slight chance that I don't remember you and reject you again, if you like that sort of thing. If I remember you my reaction'll be much worse.

Good luck!
 Gr1ph1n
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 19
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 9/28/2007 1:28:14 PM
I dunno, if I don't recieve an E-Mail back replying to the one I sent out, I give up and never send the lady E-Mail again. Is it rude to keep bugging someone who isn't interested in contacting you?!? At the moment I send out 14 E-Mail's, but only recieved one reply answering a question I asked. Somehow, perhaps I'm taking the hint the wrong way?!?
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 30
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History
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:25:24 AM
if your first email was just "hi", then yes. Also, there is a tendency to send one email and then never send any more, so that doesnt say much in the way of interest does it? Personally I wouldn't send more than 2 without a reply, just like phone calls.
 baregravity3
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 34
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/21/2007 1:26:14 AM
multiple emails. just as someone previously mentioned^^^ is like being out in public. would you hit on the person once shot down? well, would you? i have been shot down. way more than a few times. but like everything else i have done, i get back up. and sometimes, just sometimes i have enough confidence to reapproach that someone again and risk the rejection. why? because of a combination of 2 things. one i think that girl is worth another try. and two because i know i have better in me. so i have to step up my game. persistence. now having said that, jcnotasuperstar, you said you would reply to an email.... IF it was in your interest. now i can understand your thinking on this having looked at your profile. 200+ favorites... i'm guessing you are bombarded with emails. well that isnt the case with everyone on here. me i have only 1 person who favorites me as of now. so guys take that into account on who you are emailing these messages. if she has caught your attention, i'm willing to bet someone else noticed her too. so be original in your msg to her. as i have seen in my month here, there are plenty of decent folk, who want positive responses.
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 37
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:33:36 AM
No, you dont need to email several times (if there is no inital response) That is done on here, and frankly it annoys and creeps me out.

Your first message needs to clearly say WHY you are responding. "ur hot" and "I like yer pic/profile" are too vague. This wont be a problem if you are responding for reasons other than a pulse, and the person is the opposite sex.

People also need to accept, the other person may not be interested. Thats life. Suck it up.
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 38
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:36:36 AM

I am new to POF - just over one month - and have been amazed at how many women ignore well prepared first contacts. These are not one liners but well thought through emails composed over 10 minutes or so after a full reading of the profile and interests.


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!!! Get over it!

It happens! Why let it upset you so? Guess what? Men do it too. I have sent messages to guys and got no response. Oh well. It happens. No loss.
 sototallytommy
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 39
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/22/2007 11:58:34 AM
Now, after reading some of the posts from women describing how they respond to most of the "coherent" emails they get, just to be polite - that seems more alarming to me than the "2 or more emails" dilema.

Far be it for me to suggest how everyone should act on an online dating site, but I don't really understand the point of a "polite response". As far as I can see, if you don't get a reply, move along - but what can become even more confusing - is an ambiguously "polite" reply.
I've gotten what I assume is a "polite" reply many times - ya know the "thank you for the compliment" or a 3 word answer to a question about her profile - and I gotta say, that seems even more pointless and ultimately confusing than multiple emails to a non-responsive recipient.


And then, sometimes I reply BACK to what feels like a "polite" reply in the first place, (but I'm not quite sure) and then get another seeminly "polite" reply back - yet AGAIN! (thus beginning a potentially perpetual cycle, the likes of which could damage the space-time continum, permanently.)

So I must ask, other than needing to feel "nice and polite" when you send these replies, what do they accomplish?
 AbstractAstra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 40
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History
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/22/2007 12:16:10 PM
I wouldn't expect someone to send me several messages. If I didn't reply to the first one (although I usually try to at least send a 'no thanks' message) it would be because I wasn't interested.
 *****Covet*****
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 45
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:43:04 PM
JMO...If she likes you she would probably appreciate consistency but if she is unsure of you multiple emails will scare her off.
 Baby_Jesus
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 46
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:54:11 AM
Send one email every sunday morning
 swfl_dan
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 48
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You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:40:48 AM
I'll send one e-mail, and if it's read and I don't get a reply, I'll send a follow up - ONE follow up - depending on the woman.

I figure it's worth a second e-mail if I think we may have things in common, and I don't know what the situation was when she read the first one. Maybe she was in too much of a hurry to reply, and forgot. Maybe she was thinking she'd reply later, but then it dropped off the front page of her received e-mails. Maybe she's new to using computers and didn't know HOW to reply to the first one. There's just no telling.

It's not worth my time to send more than one follow up tho.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 49
You women need multiple emails to know we're interested?
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:52:58 AM

So I must ask, other than needing to feel "nice and polite" when you send these replies, what do they accomplish?

Most women who give polite responses do so because a gazillion men have complained (some in this thread even) that a well thought out researched response deserves acknowlegement.

My profile indicates that I am social and will chat with people if they are interesting, so in my case I also do it because I don't assume every e-mail I get is romantically inclined. If they are, then they haven't read anything, and in that case - they sort of brought it on themselves.

So responding politely isn't good, and ignoring and deleting after reading (or not) is wrong? Sounds to me like anything but "yes, you're the man I've been waiting for my whole life" isn't gonna sit well with most of ya!
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