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 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 104
Who Does All The Work In Bed?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
It depends upon the partner. Many of us love being on top and active. I imagine there are women who feel like they "should" be more passive, and others who would happily be more active if you asked them to be. Do you communicate with your sex partners or ask them to climb on top?
 LongAfterDark
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 105
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:10:16 PM

I imagine there are women who feel like they "should" be more passive, and others who would happily be more active if you asked them to be.


And what catagory would you fit into? :)
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 106
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:40:04 AM

It should be the male. Making love to your women is the only thing left for male dominance.. I`m positive your women wouldn't object either..LOL


It "should" be whoever the couple wants to be doing the work in that moment--it can switch during one sex session, or by night, or if one person likes being more passive and the other enjoys a more active role, then it can be a pretty constant thing. In sex, there is no "should" beyond what the participants wants and agree on.

As to male dominance: Plenty of women aren't into being dominated, and plenty of men aren't interested in dominating the women they're with. There's no constant here. Personally, I'd object quite heavily if I were always cast in a submissive role. It's not anywhere near as simple as you're trying to make it out.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 107
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:00:59 AM
We're into bipartisan playtime, and haven't noticed that it's work, though sometimes one or the other takes a leading role.
 HarrNels
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 109
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:28:18 PM
Most men are much stronger than women (thanks to testosterone), and are able to sustain some positions longer, so it's easier for men to "work" harder. Like many others here, I wouldn't consider it work, and have never compared who put more into it. It's all about mutual pleasure.
 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 111
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:56:28 PM
Ha ha ha... yep. That's the norm, and it reflects a deeper philosophy present inside of them. What comes out of someone at their most naked moments is what is there inside, at their deepest being. We need to start raising our young ladies to be more committed to participation in every aspect of life, love, society and more.

I don't mind it if a lady atleast goes along with what I request in bed, but a lady who has the passion and fire of a fierce, dedicated lover will usually have the same passion and dedication in all her life's endevours. Hang in there.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 113
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:22:30 PM
I don't think anyone considers sex work unless they are a pimp or prostitute . Perhaps the word "work" is not the right term. Maybe the OP meant "taking a more active roll".
 LongAfterDark
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 114
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:24:06 PM
answer the ****ing questions!
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 115
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:36:50 PM

Ha ha ha... yep. That's the norm, and it reflects a deeper philosophy present inside of them. What comes out of someone at their most naked moments is what is there inside, at their deepest being. We need to start raising our young ladies to be more committed to participation in every aspect of life, love, society and more.

I don't mind it if a lady atleast goes along with what I request in bed, but a lady who has the passion and fire of a fierce, dedicated lover will usually have the same passion and dedication in all her life's endevours. Hang in there.


Please don't even think this will happen. men have wanted women to act like this for centuries. it has never happened. and it never will.

if men want to date they should accept they will get a raw deal. just the way it is.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 116
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:39:00 PM



the woman has the physical/mental/vocal workout, while the guy has mostly physical work.



wtf is a physical/mental/vocal workout? how can you have a physical workout if the man does the work? and a mental/vocal workout? get real. women are lazy.

but mental/vocal workout. that is rich.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 117
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/5/2010 3:11:19 PM
Yeah, theres some real lazies. Apperently some are men too I hear. It's sad, beacause I always figured one way nobody would ever like to be viewed inadequately was in the sex department. People with lots of energy I think usually make the best lovers, and those who are very caring by nature. Nurses for instance have a reputation for being very sexual and good in bed. I believe theres lots of truth to that, since I once dated one.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 118
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/5/2010 8:34:00 PM
If you consider it "work", what's the difference?
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 119
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/5/2010 11:50:06 PM
Unfortunately as much as women say they like foreplay and lots of touching, oral and all that, it seems to usually apply to what they want done to them and rarely do they participate in returning the activity. You can spend forever caressing, kissing, nibbling thaier arms, legs sides, belly, legs and even toes but most barely even kiss your neck or ears or even touch your chest...yes ladies most guys like their nipple played with too!
Women seem to think getting you off ends with them opening their lags!

Men will get off....sure but without a little effort on the womans part it's not much different from masterbation...hence not much respect after....

Ladies you want him to wanna keep you? You want him to fall head over heels for you?

Stand out fom the herd ... ROCK HIS WORLD!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 120
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/6/2010 8:53:33 PM
I am sorry, jco, but I think your picker is broken! Perhaps a new "herd"?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 121
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/7/2010 8:44:15 PM
I am sorry, jco, but I think your picker is broken! Perhaps a new "herd"?





Uh....HELLO! Hence the profile here....DUH! ....Of course I won't actually KNOW what they're like UNTIL.... ...best to get THAT out of the way quickly wouldn't you say?


Are you saying you decided to try inline dating cuz you are good at picking women who have no appreciation for sensuality? Then again, TOO quickly might make me substitute a vowel in my "broken pIcker" assessment! j/k

My point, really, is that women enjoy enjoying their men just as much as men do. If you
consistently seek out women who don't, perhaps you need to choose a different type of woman. Of course, physical attractiveness is important, but perhaps lowering your standard to an 8 instead of a 9 or 10 might net you a few points in reciprocation. One would imagine that the look in the eye of a lover as they, well, you can use your imagination, would easily increase an 8 to a 9 or a 10 anyway, no? Please believe me, I am not trying to judge you, but I do get that impression, and the truth is, the MOST attractive are likely to be the most self centered. Perfection is all encompassing.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 122
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/8/2010 3:19:26 AM
Ohwhynot46....thanks....I think? Is that a compliment that you think I only date 9's and 10's or an insult....I'm not sure!

However IF I were to rate women on a scale of one to ten, looks wise, I would have to say that the best one I ever had as far as reciprocation was a 10 IMHO and the worst was probably around a 5...interestingly enough it was the five who cheated on me...the ten was as faithful as can be! ....Go Figure!
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 123
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/8/2010 5:40:28 PM
if a woman just lies there and does not put out much effort...either she's not that into you...OR...she does not really know...

teach her...the man drives the sexual relationship with his imagination and desire...

so show her what you like, open her up to new things.

because the guys she really enjoyed having sex with in her life...that's what they did...

take charge men...women love that....
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 124
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/9/2010 3:01:13 AM
I wouldn't say they exactly just lie there either! What I'm talking about is women who are so into it they forget to do things you like too! Heck I want to be kissed and touched too...and I don't mean their hands on mine following them all over THEIR body! Yeah they like to be ravished and dominated etc. but they need to ravage back a bit AND run the show a bit too....The HOT girls know how to do that! The mediocre ones get too wrapped up in what they're getting.....maybe it's an ego thing....the hot girls want you to KNOW they got it and they have to live up to their looks!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 125
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/9/2010 8:16:52 PM
Hot isn't a purely physical measurement, though. jco, I have to address you directly, as our mutual participation in a different thread led me to read your profile, and it seems you aren't necessarily looking for physical perfection. I am inclined to think that your 5 vs your 10 was inclusive of the experience you note here. Good for you, then!

The experiences of the general public do seem to indicate that those so hell bent on finding a "10", or being a "10" are self involved to the degree that they assume that their satisfaction alone is mutual. Of course, there are exceptions (I have even known a few myself), but general knowledge & experience seems to indicate a level of self involvement to the degree that one is unwilling, or feels it unnecessary to actually do anything to please their partner, other than to be pleased themselves.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 126
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/9/2010 9:25:03 PM
wow, seriously never thought of it as work..hmmm. Depends on the lover, the day, the mood, etc. I prefer balance ..but not because of the effort level, it's just what I like =)
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 127
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/9/2010 9:34:03 PM
...of course 5's and 10's are all relative.....what I think is a 10 someone else may rate a 5 and vise versa.....too many variables and too many personal tastes. Using celebrities as an example; Every guy seems to think Angelina Jolie is a 10 however, I very much dislike he look....I'd go more for a Kirsten Dunst who many men dislike......


You may also be not picking up my brand or sarcastic humor in my posts.......
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 128
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/11/2010 12:40:33 PM
There are obviously some bad lovers out there......but I'd like to know where you men are finding all these lousy lays?!!

I can't imagine just "laying there".
I want to touch, lick, nibble and tease my man as much as he does me.
I want us both so worked up that when penetration does happen......it's a huge
"Ahhhhhh" for both of us.

It's one thing to get lost in the pleasure for a moment or two......but to just lay there and expect to be pleasured like some princess..........no thanks.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 129
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/11/2010 12:51:11 PM
There are the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh, wait! I meant average!

Seriously, sexual skills probably follow the good old Bell Curve. There are some who are really bad, there are some who are really good, and the majority are average within a pretty wide range. My own experience bears this out - there have been very few extraordinary lovers, and just a few "starfish" where I've had to check for a pulse. The vast majority are average, but average covers a lot of variety and territory, but they lack the passivity or the passion that makes them either bad or great!
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 130
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Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/11/2010 1:51:17 PM
I, for one, would not like to point finger on anyone but as long as one lights the fire and the other fans it ... there would be more than sparks in the air
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 131
Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 5/11/2010 8:09:43 PM

I, for one, would not like to point finger on anyone but as long as one lights the fire and the other fans it ... there would be more than sparks in the air


What I'm talking about is the women who are totally into it....but it's all about them and what they want! I'm not talking about dead fish...had one of those in high school and admittedly it probably had to do with my lack of skill/attention.

The difference is the same as the men who touch all the womens' naughty bits because he wants to feel them VS touching the naughty bits and many other places not just for their own gratification, but for HER gratification!
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