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 AUTHOR
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 570
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History
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?Page 9 of 50    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I wonder if some women like alpha dudes because its more of a challenge to break them down.


It's not only "alpha dudes" that want committmentless relationships..that's the surprising part...


MetisDee well if your showing cleavage like that of course they will think of sex.


Aw, come on ceasar...men don't need much help most times to think of sex..most of the ones I know say all it takes is the wind blowing..lol..besides the fact that dressing sexy should be allowed without it meaning "im available for sex"...akin to the " she deserved to get raped because of how she was dressed, or what she did"...self control is a virtue...



We're a disposable society...
Now we're working on disposable people too...


Hear, hear. This is really my problem...it isn't about strict sexual mores..it is about the mind set that " you will do for sex, till the right one comes along"..when did that become the public consciousness? It just seems so superficial , and psudeo relationship to satisfy one's sexual appetite ... to me, it is still about self gratification without any effort..and I will never understand the mindset of : I have to have sex now , or it will kill me...while a real live person is always preferred...plain horniness can be satisfied many ways that don't involve sex as just an activity with a body...any body with reasonable likability..

Maybe it was just the way I was taught...but, sex as just an activity has no appeal to it..mutual masturbation really...not my idea of good sex even...
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 571
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:33:07 PM
^^

Yah.. I am aware what your post is about and I find it really ridiculous for you to claim that you think you KNOW all women are lying to themselves or how they feel.


Now we're working on disposable people too...


Dunno about you, but my friends aren't disposable. Whether I'm having sex with them or not.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 573
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:52:58 PM
Cmon. Its cool to dress sexy but if they are bobbling out how can a man look in a woman's pretty eyes when their clevage is daring them to glance at it when she's not looking. And women know , that is why they turn around real quick and catch you making eye contact with their butt to make you feel ashamed. OK Zangie they might not need help but what women ware can give them help anyway making it worse.

I dont wanbt just sex but I get drawn into it sometimes. Ideally I would want a nice sexy woman totally compatable to me that doesnt raise her voice at me and is into me. Able to control pms would be a plus. Also like her to have some of the same goals as me like moving to the country, getting acres and staying there till our last days. Someone to go watch thunderstorms come in over the lake and go out to eat with. Someone that would commit and not want 10 guys. Someone willing to be a 50% partner to the household and willing to accept I'm as cool as they come. Is that too much to ask? Someone who will not make my stress levels rise when it is time to go buy something we need or want. Someone I could randomly by flowers and candy for and give back messages to and tell her how much she turns me on. Someone special that i could run my fingers through her hair and tell her how pretty she is before I kiss her.

Until that day if it even coes I have to date.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 574
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/5/2008 10:17:28 PM
Daisy if it was easy to make a reality we wouldnt be here. I date a good amount to meet people. What sucks is the ones that really really strike my fancy and seem interested in the same things live on the other side of the country. Now that is very frustrating cause rarley do I find one around here that is into the same kind of stuff. Some have some common interest but have to admit my ex was a tough act to follow before she went bad. We were good at all the same things and hobbies until she got adicted to the attention she got online. So I go with instinct/attraction/interests/ and follow my heart and that is why I know right away if it will last or not. At least on my end. Plus I'm one of those weird guys"unique" who needs a unique woman.

I was married 16 years with her 19 and didnt ever cheat. Been separated since july 07 and divorced about 4 months. This new freedom and piece I have I cant just throw away for anybody.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 577
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:54:54 AM

Dunno about you, but my friends aren't disposable. Whether I'm having sex with them or not.
Neither are mine..We go to the movies, hang out, etc.

I agree,, my friends aren't disposal either, matter of fact, My friend and I had dinner on Sat. watched a movie,, she slept over and we didn't have sex,, and that same day,, I learned a friend of mine died suddenly,, I asked her if she could watch my son for a few hours on Sunday so I could go to a wake,, she lived over an hour away,, the same area where I needed to be for the wake,, Now I wouldn't just leave my son with just any body.. so I would say I trusted her,, we are friends,, I even stayed at her house that night with my son,, I slept on the couch,,and my son slept on the other, again no sex,,and while I was the wake she took my son pumpkin picking,, FWB,, means so much more than sex,, and I think so many people are really missing that point,,I'd like to add,, I was never looking for FWB,, never wanted it, I want long term, I want marriage too, yet,, we should all enjoy life as it comes until we meet the right one,,and that may never happen,, so why stop living,, why not have sex with some emotional connection,, like I said be for,, it sure beats FB, one night stands,,etc..
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 578
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/7/2008 6:24:01 PM

I think that part of that FWB problem comes from people "say" one thing, but the other "hears" what they want...


I agree, but it's not just with FWB..that happens all the time,, being in construction business for so many years,, listening is a skill,, comprehension is a complete different skill,, Everyone expresses themselves differently,,because of that we can understand them differently,, what I try and do,, when it's a serious subject,, listen and then say it back to them the way I think I heard then, and the way I think I understand them.. The other person has the opportunity to clarify what they were saying,, That method has been very valuable in my business,, because my clients really do say one thing and mean another,,because of their lack of knowledge of the construction field,, However it works really well if your in a relashionship..Also if the other person doesn't use you style of communication,, you can ask them,, do they under stand you,, and ask them to explain what they have heard,, it then give you a chance to clarify as well..
 cashhauler
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 579
view profile
History
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/8/2008 5:14:28 PM
I am so with you on this subject!! Even guys who say in their profiles that they are seeking LTRs or "companionship" or state that they are "lonely", are turning the tables once you meet them. Forget going to dinner, a movie, meeting friends or family, or anything remotely resembling starting a "relationship"! They just want you to come over and "hang", have a beer, watch T.V., and hopefully end up in bed. WTF?? The last 3 or 4 guys I have met on POF have ended up this way. I feel if this is what they are looking for, then that is what they should state in their profile, so I can bypass them altogether. ( These are also the ones who typically state that they are open,and honest, and don't play games) PUHLEEZE!!
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 582
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:34:29 AM
If a man is in his 30s thats not middle aged. Sometimes men in their 30 are the best athletes in the world.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 584
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/9/2008 3:52:16 AM
What a load of POPICOCK! My grandfather drank at least 3 cases a week smoke 2 packs a day. Fought in WW2 and Died last year ay 89 years old. My other one is still alive and both grandmas. 47 to 53 is middle aged.

Katti are you middle aged? you look like 22 and i act like 22 so we would be a good match.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 588
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/9/2008 9:57:49 PM
trrypier if your going to say I'm on roids dont bother writing to me. And if females can were a bikini on a profile I can put my naked torso on. Why waste your time lecturing on roids when i dont take them and can eat up to 6000 calories a day when training. And if nobody wants to see that crap why did I get a compliment yesterday about my chest? Someone said they cant stop looking at it. I know your saying steroids to push my buttons and if I was on them I would admit it like other things I admit to. I would defend it. Amd now because of you accusation I have to defend something I dont do. Thanks.

Do you tell women put a shirt on?

 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 589
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 1:02:48 AM

why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free




I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything just then! Best laugh I've had in days!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!!
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 591
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 8:41:33 AM
Whether things go fast or slow, a respectful man will take "no" or "not yet" for an answer. Romance and sex bring up issues in people. A man who cares about you will be willing to stop on a dime at any point along the way if something starts to feel wrong to you--as you no doubt would for him. I have broken down in tears myself at times from the sheer relief of genuine physical intimacy with someone new after experiences of grief and betrayal.

Why would I not be prepared to comfort you as I was comforted? Orgasm is great, but nothing comes close to intimate comforting for lasting satisfaction and positive transformation.

Personally, whether it is for a phone number, a date, a kiss, or whatever, I figure it like this: 3 strikes and I'm out. A person might say no once out of shyness, a second time out of worry over my opinion, but a third "no" is unambiguous.

Did you get played? Hard to say. It sounds to me like you were conflicted about what you wanted, allowed yourself to be persuaded, and then regretted it afterward. I am slightly puzzled by the after-the-fact regret, though. Maybe it's because I'm male, but I have never once regretted giving a woman sublime pleasure--even the ones who dumped me afterward, --even the ones who _betrayed_ me. Not once. Other things, yes. But that? Never.

But I don't need to understand the why of it to accept the truth of it. In an FWB situation, your friend would respect your boundaries and side with you on avoiding the risk of such regret. He would honor both your desire and your concern and support you in making an informed choice about what works best for you in the moment. He would talk you out of doing anything hasty. And he would feel good about doing that.

He would also call to thank you afterward for the pleasure of your company. It is quite a compliment to be desired, considered carefully, and enjoyed to the extent that you feel comfortable. And, he would do his best to make sure that you were at least as satisfied as he was, both in terms of companionship and physical pleasure.

It does not sound to me like the man you were with behaved like much of a friend.
 musical heart
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 595
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 11:32:01 AM
It doesn't have to be sex without feelings. You may enjoy the person very much, yet there are circumstances that prevent a regular relationship. In my case I'm married and therefore unable to take it any farther. I'd love to find a close friend with whom I could share my feelings and have an occasional sexual encounter.
 drewrox
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 596
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:54:09 PM
I seriously believe a lot of it has to do with lack of loyalty. So many women on here will drop the best of relationships because an ex calls and they go running back. Who wants to keep risking that time after time.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 597
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:58:00 PM
How many guys have to Take One For The Team when they like a girl but the girl wont go out with them unless they have someone for their friend. And why is it expected and ok for both parties the guy the girl and the grils female friend to trap a poor guy into a blind date. Poor guys supposed to lie to his unsuspecting buddy and tell him she's ok looking. Then you have to trap yout buddy in the car so once he's in their is no turning back. Gotta tell him you will drive without him getting suspicious why. Why cant the girl just leave her friend home. Why is it a guys responsibility to get someone for her friend. Why does nobody feel bad for a dude that gets suckered into it. And when he pulls you aside and he is very mad you have to calm him down and say this is your turn to take one for the team. Sometimes they make the best of it others they cause a stink and ruin it for you.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 598
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History
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 10:33:58 PM
Ceasar:


How many guys have to Take One For The Team when they like a girl but the girl wont go out with them unless they have someone for their friend..


I don't remember how old you are...or what age women (girls) you date..but, I haven't heard of that kind of behavior since high school? I am not in the business of fixing my single girlfriends up, and if I was into a guy...there would be no conditions to dating him? Personally, if someone said that to me...I wouldn't want to date them...you shouldn't put up with that kind of extortion...and manipulation...think more of yourself...

OT: trying to be open minded and see it from the other side...but, no mater how much I try to spin it...to me it is still about getting all the good and easy stuff, and not dealing with any or the harder or less pleasant stuff..in my mind..either bite the bullet and pursue a romantic relationship...look for casual short term sex...or wait for the right person...but, this "you'll do till the "right" one comes along?" Just not something I think is respectful...or flattering..you are good enough for sex and to hang out with...but, not anything more real? Why in God's name would I want to settle like that?
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 599
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/10/2008 10:46:17 PM
The last woman that tried and made me get a friend was about 39 I would guess. Maybe even 40s. Older than me. And my cousin and a friend of mine didnt fall for it so there was a 3rd wheel. Then I found out the nesxt day my other friend was bored that night and would of came. I never got him on it yet but I find that the girl you want to date expects it and makes you feel responsible for her friend.



Also why do some women have MANY FWB at one time? What's that about?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 602
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:38:25 AM

Also why do some women have MANY FWB at one time? What's that about?

Female sex addict? STDs? Sloppy seconds( thirds, and fourths).
Caesar0002, you need to start finding women who aren't herdbound....
Cindy O
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 603
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 11:50:29 AM
But I thought only men can be sex addicts. Good to hear a woman admit to what most wont. LOl herdbboumd. And nerdbound. I dont want sloopy seconds or thirds and grow weiry of daing because pretty much every girl I dated this or last year either offered me to have sex, tried to have sex with me, or ended up getting her way after I said no sex. If woman can want a bunch of FWB and tell you thats how its going to be upfront I respect that but when I see women crushing men on here for wanting FWB I just dont understand because on my saide of dating they want it. Or they see I'm not interested and just want to get me in the sack so they can prove to teirself they are worth something, I've had woman throw fits of rage cause i wont have sex a second time because the first time I realized was a mistake and they got me drunk. Then if thats not enough they want strange requests the second time and your thinking in your head I didnt want to do what I did the first time again. Thanks for saying a woman can be a sex addict a guy cant get away with that here. If I ever have a fwb I like to only have one at a time. Nothing turns me off more than to picture another guy there before me. The women wonder why you wont settle with them. Were they truthful? Yes some are about the 100 guys, others lie cause they know men will run away.
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 604
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:49:29 PM
I was conflicted by sexual emotions but yet morally knowing what I really wanted in my heart and what is right for me, which is different from the outcome.


Well, lukin4truth, you might take some comfort in recognizing that there are two competing sets of moral standards out there in the world, and so it's not surprizing that a person might feel conflicted both during and after a heated romantic encounter.

The traditional standard, which is based on the principle of authority, is about conforming to expectations that are meant to preserve the existing social order. This authority-based morality mandates that we allow ourselves to enjoy sexual pleasure only in contexts that are considered to be sanctified.

The parts of us that exercise judgment like these kinds of rules, and to a certain extent they are valuable because we all need to feel like we belong, and that we stand for something higher than just our own personal gratification.

It used to be that the only sanctified context for sexual expression was marriage, and, if we're going to be strict about it, it still is. However, a lot of people keep the spirit of the rule by substituting a long-term committed relationship for the sanctity of marriage. Though not a legal license, an LTR is seen by many as its moral equivalent, so it is not surprizing that a part of you would want to hold out for that at least.

The modern standard, which is based on the idea that free adults should do as they please so long as no one's rights are violated, allows for people to take pleasure each other's physical companionship within the context of an honest agreement. An _honest_ agreement is one in which every person is fully capable of giving or withholding consent and renegotiating in good faith as circumstnaces change. In an honest agreement, all are aware of what is and is not being agreed to, and all agree. It is the morality of the social contract in which free adults are as good as their word.

Me? I stand for the idea that informed adults can be trusted, and that moral standards that support the freedom and dignity of the individual are the essence of pure faith. If we strictly adhered to traditional morality in all aspects of our lives, we would still be living under Feudalism and the vast majority of us would still be Serfs. We would enjoy none of the benefits of modern technology, and in place of science we'd be living under the the oppression of ignorance and superstition. Oh, and women would still be regarded as property.

Let me point out that under both standards, lying to get sex and refusing to take no for an answer would be considered immoral (unless you're a husband, in which case the old rules said that you were entitled to be serviced at your whim). Allowing oneself to have a good time in the moment, while being aware that doing so might or might not lead to the fulfillment of a long-term goal, is not necessarily immoral. It might not bring you any closer to what you ultimately want, but that's about strategy, not morality. And, enjoying yourself in the moment might not hinder you in getting what you ultimately want either. Was Mr. Right waiting in the wings and getting disguested while you were enjoying yourself with Mr. Right Now? If so, why didn't he show up in person and make his intentions known?

Of course, if you were gambling away the rent money or putting yourself or a partner at risk for an incurable disease, that would certainly be immoral. But if you got caught up in the moment, it was a good experience, and neither of you injured the other or damaged each others' prospects for a happy future, I just don't see why you need to feel any shame whatsoever--even if you didn't stick to your plan. No harm, no foul.

There is a difference between a reasonable compromise and a self-betrayal. What's that difference? The way I see it, it is the extent to which lying is involved. If you lied to yourself to get a bit of gratification, then you betrayed yourself. If you didn't, you didn't. It's as simple as that.

However, it isn't just the pleasure-seeking parts of us that lie. The fearful parts of us often lie too--by taking on the Voice of Authority and making us feel so bad, if they can, that we will be loathe to enjoy ourselves even if no real harm is done, or punish ourselves needlessly afterward when ho harm _was_ done. In my view, needless self punishment is another form of self betrayal.

The bottom line is that it can take a fairly clear adult perspective to make smart choices. But if a person can focus on the truth, things will be OK. So, it helps to be clear about which moral standard the different voices in one's inner dialogue are advocating and what the consequences will be if one or the other of those voices is allowed to drown out the others. BTW, such an overbearing voice would most likely be putting forth a lie.

So, what happens when a person makes an honest mistake, either by misreading the situation or falling for a lie? How can one learn from a mistake, if a mistake it was?

Again, the way I see it, if I feel genuine shame or remorse, I can replay the events to ferret out where the lies were so that I can catch them out before they interfere with my judgment in future. The rest I have to chalk up to experience. I can choose how I sanctify the pleasure I share with another person from a realistic, adult place. If I just don't feel right unless I'm in an LTR, then I know that about myself and I can pull back from situations that might tempt me to compromise my morals. If I'm really OK with it as long as there is mutual respect and honoring in the moment, then I know that and can make honest agreements about what I'm up for and what I'm not. And, once I'm clear about the standard I subscribe to, I will know whether a momentary deviation from my dating strategy would be immoral or not.

Modern morality does bring with it some problems. We have yet to strike the balance between our individual freedoms and our social obligations because the side-effects of our agreements can cause indirect harm that we might not be aware of beforehand. However, the way I see it, the problems of modernity are far better problems to have than those of our authoritarian past. Why? Because with modernity come the tools to figure things out.

Tradtional morality also brings problems with it. When Authority has no rational or empirical basis, you can get extremes like women having to put bags over their heads before they can to outside. You get witch burnings. You get female genital mutilation. You get Spanish Inquisitions. Ask any of the enforcers of those tyrranies and you will find that they all claim their actions are morally justified--though from a social-contract standpoint they are abominations.

Authority is just a package of ready-made answers that might or might not address the actual questions a person might have. Authority can be a great resource, because there's just no need to reinvent the wheel. However, if you want a vehicle that is capable of going faster than a horse-drawn wagon, the wheels just might need an updated design. YMMV.

If we all gave out a lot more love (not sex, though physical affection could be part of a more loving attitude), and practiced a lot more forgiveness, we'd enjoy a lot more freedom and also find much more reliable support from a respectful and loving community.

 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 605
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 1:04:49 PM

I had a friend ask me last year... "Is this all there is to guys, one ***hole after another, do I just end up settling, instead of getting what I want?"


It depends on what you want. If what you want is the fairy-tale prince, then I am afraid you just might have to settle. Few men can live up to that ideal. Most of us know that we can't. And, why would we want to?
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 606
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 1:34:31 PM
They want the guy in the romance novel. I know I come close but who can keep that up year in and year out when you come home and your woman is wearing sweatpants, no makeup. I dont mind that but it's not the way to turn on a guy especially when a woman sees him everyday. But then when she goes out with her friends you wonder who she is for a second.


And the FWB I aint going to do it anymore. Well if its a 10 maybe) Long as the hand is in good shape it will be less stress. On way more than one ocasion and I speak of nobody specific on here. A friday night I decide(and being single this is rare) to stay in and spend some quality time with myself and my dogs. And maybe talk online to people but it is still quality time for me. Anyways a woman (none specific cause more than one) goes out and drinks and then wont accept it I want to hang alone. Then the calls and messages start rolling in. The pressure starts. You say no and look at the art piece your working on and think how much you were just enjoying yourself.

Then the untimatom text. " If you dont come out I'm coming there." Thats it once that comes. Your done. Even if you say your sleeping. So now you have to perform. The person is drunk and wild and going crazy and you do it because its expectred and you aint getting out of it. Now you have too roost and cuddle the rest the night and all you wanted to do was be alone. Then the morning goodbye unbrushed teeth kiss you are forced into. You go back in and sit down. Feel a little depressed that you were used like a porn star. Look at the unfinished art piece and your dogs are looking at you like what the hell? You said you were going to play with us.

And to top it off. After doing every position you could think of and even make some up. Your sore, your muscles hurt. The next night she wants it again. Try being in my shoes. Size 11 by the way.
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 607
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 2:23:39 PM
LOL!!! Ceasar, I know lots of guys who'd be dying to have your problems.

But yes, it can certainly get tedious. Whether it is for sex on demand or a ring, that attitude of entitlement certainly gets old fast. It is just as unbecoming on a woman as it is on a man.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 612
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/11/2008 7:12:40 PM
Hey it takes months or longer to get to know someone so it is not the guys fault if the girl wants to have sex on second date and the relationship ends up not working or the woman drives the guy nuts or away.

And the ones who want the romance novels might not be romantic themselves. And it will never be enough. They will see a movie or hear a story and then give you the evil eye cause your not like that. Not to mention who wants to light all the candles , insense, oils, etc, for a pair of sweat pants, reading glasses , and no makup to cover the big PMS pimple on her chin. lol. I gotta stop I'm making myself laugh too much.. Then if you manage to get in the mood you have to hear." No I dont want to do it that way."

Plus some women say why buy the dog when you can have the weiner.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 614
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:42:28 PM
These last few posts, about women wanting "romance novel" men, and the blather about "markets" just about turns my stomach.
Of course, I can only say what it is I'm looking for,can't speak for other women but I don't think my mindset is all that unique.
I'm looking for a man with whom I feel a deep and strong connection on several levels. Not looking for someone to "complete" me, that's ridiculous, what does it even mean? It doesn't have a damn thing to do with stories, candles incense, make up, or what my,or his "value" is on the "market".
I've tried the FwB thing,and it does have it's purpose and place. And a good FwB is not as easy as some might think. It 's complicated to KEEP it from getting complicated. When I realized that one could very easily end up working HARDER to keep a FwB on track, than one would work to keep a real relationship working, I decided that FwB, for me anyway, was not the most effective use of my time and energy.
But the OT asks why most men are looking for FwB rather than genuine relationships. Not being a guy, I can't give a "for sure" answer, but I'd guess that most of them figure it's a way to have a reliable source of sex without the emotional investment that a relationship requires.
Cindy O
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