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 southernlass
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 521
Must not do drugs....?Page 22 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I don't care if the drugs are legal or not. I don't want to be involved with anyone who uses mind altering substances, including alcohol unless it's truly only the occasional, social drink. I don't like smoking cigarettes since I quit smoking a few years ago so obviously, smoking isn't something that turns me on in a future dating partner. Smoking really reeks when you've quit. It's a definite turn off.
 Jaxi_2008
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 522
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Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 11/16/2008 6:36:33 AM
I wouldn't want to date anyone that felt they must use a substance to change/enhance the way they think and/or feel.

That includes pot smokers.

Not interested.

I don't do it, so why should it be OK for a potential partner to do it?
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 523
Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:24:01 AM
I get the impression some of you have never heard of the medicinal benefits of marijuana.

It not only happens to be prescribed by doctors all over Canada but it is an excellent alternative to opiate use, especially for long-term pain management.

This thread is of particular interest to me since I've noticed some intriguing women with enough common interests to guarantee a good discussion over coffee but for those four words in the Subject line. (Must not do drugs)

Being lumped in with heroin addicts is ridiculous.

My initial thought was to point out that some women are missing out on amazing opportunities because they hadn't considered that legitimate use of drugs would be lumped in with everything else.

Then I read some of the comments in here. You do realize that unless you live in a cave somewhere and eat moss, chances are very high that you use "drugs" all day, every day? Our entire society lives by the idiom, "better living through chemistry"

Some of the comments in here sound like Scientology sermons.

Maybe it's a good thing I get lumped in with everyone else after all?
 dsljim
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 525
Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 10:23:23 AM
(I wouldn't want to date anyone that felt they must use a substance to change/enhance the way they think and/or feel )
What were you thinking and or feeling when you became addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, makeup, and hair coloring chemicals?
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 526
Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 10:36:10 AM
Maybe it is just me, but I assume that "doinjg drugs" means illegal use of recreational drugs. Perhaps that needs to be clarified by POF? I do not use illegal, artificial stimulants to enhance my experience, although I do take prescription drugs if prescribed. I am fine with other people using alcohol, tobacco, weed, etc. (in moderation; ie, their use would never put others at risk). That's just not my lifestyle. It's not going to change.

I understand when people get frustrated by the arbitrary legality of some drugs and not others. The bottom line for me is that some things are illegal and I can lose my job for being "caught" with them. I'm not taking that risk, period. Not a judgment about you; it's about protecting myself.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 527
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Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 11:11:16 AM

I wouldn't want to date anyone that felt they must use a substance to change/enhance the way they think and/or feel.


I take Lexapro, by prescription, for anxiety. How would you feel about that?
 dsljim
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 528
Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 11:53:24 AM
Heartburn is now acid reflux disease and there's a drug for it.
I used to get heartburn when I ate food from a restaurant or from the store, mostly from canned/ highly processed food, and I would eat ice cream to settle my stomach.
Now I grow and cook my food and eat homemade ice cream, because I like the taste of ice cream.
During prohibition, alcohol was illegal, but now that it's great source of tax dollars and causes all kinds of problems it's OK because its legal.
Maybe pof should have. " Do not contact if you ever did one thing that was then or now considered illegal "
 SaharaM
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 529
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Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:22:43 PM
I really don't understand the angst over this profile question.

We all understand that there are huge differences between, for example, smoking pot and smoking crystal meth. All the answer to this question does is indicate whether or not more clarity is necessary. That's all. The "hypocrisy around drug use" is irrelevant to the dating portion of this site. It might, MIGHT make for an interesting forum thread, but like it or not, the context/purpose of the question is for screening, as are all the other "tell us about yourself" questions.

When the answer to the question is "yes," there are people who will want clarity, and there are people who won't, either because they don't care what drugs are being used or because they don't want to pursue involvement with anyone who uses any drugs. We could digress and talk about illicit vs. prescription medication, or about taking any drug/medication as prescribed vs. abusing it, but we're all adults here, and intellectual honesty includes acknowledging that we understand exactly what the question is really asking.

Personally, I have only ever cared about my own preferences. I'm not offended by the question, nor does it compel any righteous indignation. It serves as a springboard for discussion if necessary - isn't that spot-on for a dating website?
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 530
Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:47:13 PM
All the answer to this question does is indicate whether or not more clarity is necessary. That's all.


This is exactly the problem as I see it. Because I am honest and upfront about my choice to deal with pain through marijuana, I won't ever have a chance to offer any clarity since I am forbidden from initiating any contact whatsoever.

The only chance to have a conversation with a woman about this issue (other than this forum obviously) would be to wait around until one of these women who are opposed to drug use, stumbles across my profile, overlooks the "Often uses drugs" part at the top of my profile and then reads my profile to understand what I mean by "Often uses drugs".

I won't hold my breath.

 SaharaM
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 531
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Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 6:35:02 PM

This is exactly the problem as I see it. Because I am honest and upfront about my choice to deal with pain through marijuana, I won't ever have a chance to offer any clarity since I am forbidden from initiating any contact whatsoever.

The only chance to have a conversation with a woman about this issue (other than this forum obviously) would be to wait around until one of these women who are opposed to drug use, stumbles across my profile, overlooks the "Often uses drugs" part at the top of my profile and then reads my profile to understand what I mean by "Often uses drugs".

I won't hold my breath.

***You don't explain "often uses drugs" in your profile. I'm not suggesting that you should... but this post implies that you do.***

Anywho...

I guess the (frustrating?) thing is that none of us are entitled to contact on here.

Aside from any restrictive settings you might have, every single woman on here is able to contact you if she so chooses. It's great if she does, and perfectly ok if she doesn't.

We don't have any power over how other people make personal decisions for themselves. I think it's a good idea to thoroughly understand and appreciate that fact. And I think it's a bad idea to choose to feel victimized by someone else's decision to pass us by. It smacks of overentitlement and nothing good can come from it.

Taking a different perspective, there is also a ring of truth in the cliche that it's "his/her loss."

Best of luck!
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 532
Must not do drugs....?
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:51:06 PM
Sahara

Clearly my communication skills need improving. My point is simply that having "Must not do drugs" filters out people that weren't necessarily intended to be excluded by some users.

My hope is that these women might reconsider how their filters are set, in the off chance that they might care to do so.

Entitlement doesn't come into it. Thanks for the profile review, it seems the drug stuff got cut out during one of my many edits over the past few days since I got here.
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