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 AUTHOR
 HoneyFlake
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 1055
Welcome to Hell OH!!!! Do Not Enter. Restricted hazardous area. infected.Page 43 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
HA!
hehe.
This is fun.
I don't have to write poems for anyone.
haha
just pure damnation.
this my station, now. how?
ah ah ah a oww. wow
Won't you come one out?
let me hear your shout.
In time spines align like poetic line of thought coming down to one coordinated plot mixed
though inversion, seperation and sift missplacing tough mistakes burried under dirt. hopefully something uplifts. like the lost grip of a mind.
most line just shitty empty ryhmes.
except for a few targeting words, that seemed to be look up and down upon as "derp".
and now I usurp. 3:D
heres a little thing, its called reducing yourself.
which is not an act asking for help.
but a reach to stop "helping"
and I can't even say Im up here selling, up selling you. nope. just selling you. poop
eat it up.
or come shut me up. :) cheese cup.
I like cheese. mmm please.
I got a cracker with a salt tracker.
oops spoon noob loom poos fooze in twos from the loon. greet. meet.
any. way.
But I know I glanced. and I saw it. just waiting to come accross it again.
until then.
im am lost.
but look forward to it.
nothing feels better than having something to do.
you! :D aahhhhh! lololollolllolol
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1056
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 11:06:51 AM
Cris1971Benedy ... I probably want stay long, I guess essentially I joined just to say thanks for stopping by and sharing your kind warms. Obviously there aren't many fans of my poetry so it is an honor to have someone say such kind things. Thanks a lot. JD

Flake ... fluoride ... toothpaste ...whoever ... or whatever you are ... were ... might be ... someday. Somehow, though, I think that the username flake fits you perfectly. I have many flaws in life and if my life could be better, I wish that it could be better. And I guess that there are many people that post poems maybe wishing that perhaps someone may like them. And I guess deep within we all know that we open up ourselves to criticism when we post. That is a risk that we all take. Also, I think that a person's true character shines through in situations where they can attack people without consequence or repercussion. And your posts say a lot about your character. If you think my poetry is crap or even if you were just so vile and repugnant as to take a virtual dump on a thread of someone that had not done or said anything out of the way what-so-ever to you, then that screams a lot about the type of person that you are. Ha ha ha (sarcastically) ... what you did is so funny. And you know what ... of all the bad things that I have seen and all the bad things that I have lived ... you know what ... I sure am glad and lucky that I am not you. Yes, flake, is such a perfect username for you. And if you post here again, I will not even bother reading it, as I don't care what you have to say. The truth is why would anybody care what someone of your character has to say?


One semester with one class to take
plus
Four days left in this semester
equals
In five months
I'll be a college graduate
 m8t
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 1057
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 11:18:06 AM
^ woo hoo!

we come and go
through pages now old,
reading and relating
to poetic stories told,
might better days find us
on these pages once again,
with the pouring of hearts
and the rememberings of when...
 Guestspeaker
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 1058
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 3:15:08 PM
Hey there buddy,

Thank you...actually.
With all honesty, I didn't read through you thread.
Didn't know who started it, didn't think it was you.
Didn't percieve you to be ill intended, nor good intended either.
Truth is I know nothing of this thread, though... figured why not b.s. it to shit../it apeared it already had been.
...though, no doubt, I went over the top on it.
Sometimes a little poke to see what happens, pokes whats to happen next, at least when your scratchin' you head about it.
Just know, I made no assumtions or doubts about you, yourself, my friend.
My posts on your thread, just an instanteous thing. Something caught my attention, and left me scratching my head..."ok...what???" lol ..really.
Skimming through the thread, though not read in detail, I picked up on a few words mirroring my own in this forum, and thought to myself, considereing my thus far experience here and thought to myself, "aahh..shit. this ain't good" lol.. though anyway... your new post on your thread shows something about you, that being - you not backing down.

No one should ever take blame for what they themselve did not do, when they know it in their heart they did not.
No one should place blame elsewhere, for what they know they did within their heart either.
One should always be straight with themselves before they get straight with others.

I apologize, if my post offeneded you, though regardless of your stand point, through out your thread, which I know nothing about, if you stand firm on yourself as you are for your good and bad, it should not affect you all too much. It would only cause distress to those who are unsure of their own guilt and innocence.

Like I said, clueless of this thread, prior to my own, and through my own witness of my own experience. At a certain point mine and yours were coupled. I scaned quikly, saw what I needed for me to say "Whoa! Whoa Whoa! back the truck up!" lol I wasn't judging, though I learned a long time ago, to cover my own ass. lol BlaoW! lol

anyway... nice to meet you, you can call me judas in the name of fun. :)
...mind cuttin' me down now? ;)

Thank you for coming back my friend! pheww! lol

and..yes,, Flake rings quite true with me, twas why I picked the name. :)
 Guestspeaker
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 1059
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 3:35:50 PM
Simply put; my eyes.

One can walk in to a house.
The place is a mess.
Holes in walls.
Mud on walls.
Feet prints on the ceiling.
Lamp shades knocked over.
Chairs hanging off door handles.
Carpet ripped up.
Windows broken.
Television smashed in.
Glitter glueded to every wall.
Graffitti all over ceilings, walls, floors, appliances, furniture.

One does not need to know what happened to know something got messed up.
Now,
I for one, am not one to go around pointing fingers,
rather would walkin with two middle fingers waiving in the air at no one in particular...
...hey, thats just me.

Don't get me wrong, I could careless about what happen here on this thread...
though somethin's telling me, it's affecting me... so then of course...
well hey...

Just a song that means something to me: B.S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOQ_ziA52jc

Just accept me as a friend who wont do shit for you and all is well.

:) Welcome back, nice to meet you. Sincerely.
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1060
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:40:30 PM
m8t ... Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words. I have always read your thread and enjoyed your poetry.


Twitchy ... My bad for reacting as I did. As far as I'm concerned, we're cool.


The darkness continues its path across the sky as the moon slides in and out of the clouds
There's a cold wind blowing from a familiar direction
And a voice that is repeating the same words once listened
I await for the snow to melt and a new path to follow
For the very first time
 hummingbirddancing
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 1061
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 1/19/2013 1:37:55 PM
Hope your NEW YEAR IS ALL you Hope it to BE J.D. :) hugz
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1062
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:09:22 AM
hummingbird ... Thanks a lot for your kind words. So far, things are good. I'll be graduating in May and am in the process of putting an application in for a University. They offer a distance learner business degree in Business Administration with a specialized area of entrepreneurship. I always wanted to have my own business so it will be cool if I get accepted. Hopefully, I'll know within a month as I'm finishing up the paperwork needed and it all should arrive within a week. So, it's just the waiting that is the worst part. Take care my friend and feel free to drop by my thread again. Hugs :) JD

I open the door to check that he's okay
And as I look at him sleep the tears build in my eyes
He is so beautiful to me as I see that smile on his face
As he is resting so peacefully in deepest somber
An aura of innocence shining so bright
He looks just like an angel to my heart
I listen for his breath and look at the cover to make sure it rises and falls
Just to make sure that he hasn't flown away
And I realize just how lucky I am
To have been entrusted to be a father to such a wonderful young man
And without question
I know I have been blessed by God, Himself
And am so humbled to know that somewhere in life
I did something so special that God blessed me so much
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1063
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/16/2013 9:21:44 AM
That path of the journey ended
May 10, 2013
As I walked across the stage
Somehow I was not nervous
Standing in front of the crowd
My name was called
And I started my walk
Nonchalantly and with a casual pace
It did seem surreal in a way
As the dean asked if it was worth the time
I heard the cheering for me
And I did feel a pride
As I listened to the announcement
I was receiving high honors
There was a lot of hard work that went into my grades
I remember the cheering for me
So vividly
That by my family
And friends I made at college
I received my diploma
And an alumni pin from the college
And as I was walking back to my seat
I spotted my son in the crowd
And focused directly on him
For a second or two
He had such a look of pride on his face
And truth be told
I never would have walked across the stage
If not for him
But I looked at him and smiled
And shook my head yes a couple of times
I did it
I sat in the seat as the last names were read out
And I remember as we were leaving the building
Walking out in lines of two
I remember the applause that was given
And felt so humbled by that experience
The thunderous echoing throughout the audience
Of people clapping and woo-hooing
As the procession made its way out
I could feel by the intensity of the applause
And by seeing the pride on my son's face
The amount of love, respect, and honor
And the pride that those in attendance felt
And afterwards as I saw hugs exchanged between others
And felt hugs exchanged between me and my family and friends
I felt the pride of accomplishment
From being the grandson of sharecroppers
To being a person further changing
The direction of my family
The road has been difficult
And I received some help along the way
And I must acknowledge two persons
That motivated me to go back and finish
What I had started ten years before
In my heart there is such a love and admiration
For these all important people to me
One is my son
And the other my best friend I shall ever have
That I hope knows I always will love her ...
Thanks to those that helped along the way
And those that gave me the motivation and determination ...
Today as I face the world
I do so
As a college graduate ...
I'll enjoy the summer
And get prepared for the Fall semester at WCU ...
Next comes my Bachelor's Degree in Business
And so now starts a new path
 m8t
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 1064
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/17/2013 8:46:27 AM
may your educational journey
be a rewarding and soon profitable one :)
best wishes for a bright future
for you and your son~
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1065
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 6/14/2013 4:59:32 PM
m8t ... Many kind thanks for your well wishes. I officially registered for my classes for the Fall 2013 school year at Western Carolina University. So I'm definitely excited to be starting then. It will be a new chapter to write for my life. Luckily, I'll be able to complete my degree over the Internet. I will probably end up getting a Master's Degree by the time I'm finished as it isn't too many course hours to complete after obtaining your Bachelor's degree. I definitely want to get into an Investment/Stockbroker employment situation where hopefully I will end up with my own investment company. So many, many kind thanks for your wishes. I hope that life is treating you and your family well.


"Raging Waters"

Upon the ocean
Drifting directionless
Falling victim to the sea's mercy and will
As she shows none
Searching
Looking for a flicker
From a distant light house
Somewhere
Anywhere
Looking
Waiting
Hoping
Wondering
When shall the light appear
Days pass
Months pass
Years pass
Anger grows
Rage ensures
Loneliness augments the hollow soul within
Turmoil
Confusion
Hope diminishing
Years spent looking for a friend
In vain
Despair covered by dropped eyes
Afraid to face the truth
The sea
She never stops her tides
And an eternity can be spent
Wondering aimlessly
Caught in the middle of the oceans
Where is the light in the distance
When shall she smile
When shall she say hello
Years spent
Lonely days
Lonely nights
Uncertainty
Hopelessness
Words of cruelty
Echoing within
Finally the light shines
Finally something
And someone
Real
After all these years
In blindness and obscurity
Fearful of the next hateful remark or event
Finally a true friend
Years have past
Since she said hello
Not many words are spoken lately
But the love still exists
Deep embedded love
That shall last forever

Upon the shores
With light shining bright
Looking backward
With eyes that truthfully see
Amazed at the strength
That one can possess
Realizing the sadness that life once was
And not ever forgetting all the pain
Some things can not be forgotten
No matter the time
So many lonely, lonely years
But the shore was found
And the sun shall set today
For a new day tomorrow
And the darkness of time spent on raging waters
Is becoming more faded
And forgotten
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1066
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 6/27/2013 9:24:30 AM
"The Truth Of The Playground Bully?"

I watch with amusement
As your ego soars into the stratosphere
Headed directly to the vastness
And emptiness
Of space
To an uncharted destination
Where only you are possible of residing
Through your venomous rage
Your muddled words lack clarity
Hidden beneath the vile attempt
Of what you perceive as truth
The distorted perception that your life evolves
Rotating repeatedly through your inferiority complex
Hidden beneath your guise of bravery and belligerence
You are sadly mistaken
Not all tremble with fear
From your words
Or actions
The world doesn't stop turning
At your whelm
Only within your warped perception
Does the fear you think you bring
Bring about the result that you seek
You are nothing more than a schoolyard bully
Speaking loudly, boldly, and with lacking amplification
But deep inside your heart and soul you know
Where your cowardice hides like the scared child
That you are deep within
That there are some that are not scared by words
There are some that are not afraid
Threats of violence
And spoken words of gore and destruction bring no fear
And you know
As well as others
All are not scared of you
Or live in fear of the farce of your miserable existence
You are nothing more than a mere coward
Afraid to face truth and reality
Or the ghosts
That bring your resignation to hide
Behind the veil of perceived hostility
From this day forward you shall be known as
Shamed and scared
This truth I have spoken
And so shall your name remain the same
Until you prove otherwise
Now I dare you
Swing at me
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1067
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 7/4/2013 9:21:41 AM
"Hated For Life/Indifference Of Blood"

Guess it couldn't be understood at that time
A child's perception focuses on feelings
Without knowing the reasons why
Within the heart a feeling is known
Hateful remarks and cold stares
Words of cruelty landing so deep
Grandchild, nephew, or niece does not matter
When their mother shall never be loved either
For the wife of their brother and son
Shall never meet their expectations
So, too, shall the offspring suffer the same fate
Forever being the children of his wife
Sharing some of the same blood and ancestry
But never truly being a member of their family
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1068
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 7/17/2013 7:38:25 AM
"Lost In A Moment Of Time"

Together
We were talking and laughing
Not being very serious at all
While driving through the parking lot
Getting ready to park
In front of the house
I heard a voice as I was driving
"Excuse me, sir"
I looked around
And saw this girl
That I had just ridden past
So I backed the car
To where she was
And she handed me a flyer
That mentioned their church
Was having a youth day
On Saturday, July 20th, 2013
As I was looking at the flyer
I realized that I had no idea
What day that today was
I didn't know what today's date was
And at that particular second
I didn't even know whether
It was June or July
However, I did know the year
And who the President is
No, I'm not crazy (laughs)
I was just enjoying a special moment
Shared with my son
Where nothing else mattered
The entire universe
Was non-existent
And at that moment
Totally irrelevant
All that I could remember
And feel at that second
Was the laughter
That we were sharing
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1069
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 7/31/2013 8:20:23 AM
"Lost And Hoping To Be Found"

I will not ask you to understand me
Nor to try
Why should you anyway
Why would you be any different than others
That look superficially at me
Failing to see my depths
You could never know
Yet you could
If only you took the time to see
There are reasons
And I wonder if only you knew the truth
Whether you would still see me as you do
Images of my being
Is what life has taught me to project
They are not what truly resides inside
Yet you judge me by face

Looking into my eyes
Do you not see the pain
That I have inside
I did not ask for it as it was given so generously to me
I have never enjoyed the cruelty that was shown
Uncaring words are sharper than razors
When they cut into the heart and soul
And actions that say that you are not cared for
Does scar for life
Especially when they are derived from those that are supposed to care

Do you know what it is like
To never feel special
Or to feel that you are irrelevant and do not matter to anyone
If you do you shall be my brother or sister
And together we shall lament a fate we did not want
We were not given a choice for the environment that we entered this life upon
And through all the trial and tribulations
We arrive at one of two conclusions
Do we become selfish and self-indulged
Or do we learn compassion for others

Yet you shall never know who I am
Because of my face or the walls of self-preservation that I have learned to build
I am caught somewhere between a child scared and fearing for his life
And the person that would give you the shirt off of his back
Having the ability to love you for eternity and beyond
Treating you with the kindness and gentleness that so many have only dreamed
And maintaining an entrenched compassion that a life filled with sadness
Fear and destitution has delivered
Yet you don't know who I am
And I can't easily show you
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1070
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 8/6/2013 6:21:36 AM
"The "N" Word/Societal Dominion/Reflections Upon My Life"

I have never liked that word
Not even as a child
Because in the world I grew up in
It meant distrust
Of not just one race against another
But against both races towards each other
I have heard it used in all sorts of negativity
Not only against people
But against idealism toward something bad
My parents were never truly racists
Really, how could they be
Both coming from families that had Native American ancestry
Yes, society tried to teach me to be racist
But I'm not here to condemn society
Just to tell the simple truth
That I have learned and experienced first hand
Society has a method of discrimination and separation
A desire to categorize and label
It is not designed for integration
It runs parallel to Darwin's belief of Natural Selection
And was a huge contributor of Hitler's philosophy of elimination
First, there are separation of races
Then there are division of classes between each race
With each exhibiting belief that it is superior to the class beneath it
Finally the separation reaches the top where the elitists exist
And they maintain and exploit all the power that society freely gives to them
Because when everything is based on money
They weld tremendous authority
There is one true fact regarding revolutions
It is not the poor that start revolutions
As they do not have the resources to do so
And live with the constant threat that all it takes is one misstep
And their entire existence crumbles and they lose what little they possess
It sure isn't the elitist or the wealthy that start revolutions
As those in power do not just give control of it away
And money is equivalent to power
It is the middle class that start revolutions
They posses enough resources and are large enough in number to bring change
Ever notice in countries where there is no or a small middle class
There are corrupt governments
Who dares risk their very life to speak out against injustice and corruption in those countries
It is society that helps to instill values and beliefs
And the "N" word is just one of many that is used to separate one's self from others
But the truth is and what is so often not parlayed
Is that each and every single race uses negative and derogatory words towards the other races
But, also, each race uses words to separate themselves from other members of the same race
And I am speaking exclusively from personal experience
To know me is to know that I am not racist
And that I do what I can to try to help people out if I can
I worked with African fellow that had no car
It was raining and dark outside and he was going to walk home
So me and my cousin gave him a ride to his house where he invited us in to meet his family
We stayed a little while and was watching television
And there was some popular TV show that was on
But I have no idea what it was as I think back
And really I don't feel like wasting my time trying to think about what the name was
But it was a show during the 80's that the characters on it was white
And one of the characters did something stupid
And a member of the dude's family said "stupid cracker"
And then the room turned silent which was magnified as the station was simultaneously going to a commercial break
And that silence was deafening and seemed to last for hours
I was not emotionally hurt whatsoever by the remark
What I remember feeling the most was insecurity and a threat to my personal existence and safety
Because society taught that those that use those words are hostile towards the race that they use it towards
Think about this
The new separation barrier that is now in place by society
Have you noticed the use of ethnicity
Asking what is a person's ethnicity
Though there is confusion by some
Ethnicity is not related to race
It is basically how a person was raised
What their morals and standards are
What their beliefs and values are
Really and honestly
It is the absolute stupidest attempt to categorize that has ever been created
What?
Because you have a white or Caucasian background
Does that mean that you are gangsters like some white people
And that you celebrate Hanuka like some white people
Or that you are racist like some white people
Does it mean that you are elitists or born into wealth and power like some white people
And the very same thing can be used in all races and the division of classes within the race
Not every person is born into the same situation and possess the same norms, standards, and morals
As others within that race
I was born a grandson of share croppers on one side of my family
On the other side, I am the great grandson of a man that ran a bootleg, gambling, and prostitution joint
He killed a man during a poker game and served time in jail
I am the grandson of a man who along with his twin brother robbed a gas station
Who was an alcoholic that beat his wife and abused his kids
And had me as a three or four year old boy afraid to even breath
Because he said if I moved he was going to kill me with a fireplace poker
I guess there are other examples that I could use to show that
No, not all white people are born into a life of luxury and wealth where a child can dream big
And not all white people are racist that go around using the "N" word
The truth is that this is a divisive world
But it doesn't have to be
And you know what
I am proud of what I have accomplished in life
And the person that I have grown to become
Because the blue prints that I was given was to be a complete and total failure
Except for one thing
I had two parents that tried to give me a better life than they knew
And, no, they were not perfect or without flaws
But I know deep down in my heart that they truly did the best they could
And went far beyond what they was taught to be and to do
And now as a single parent dad that tries to fulfill two roles in my son's life
You can rest assured knowing that I am giving my all to give him a path for a better life
Because in the end, it all goes deeper than a word
It all goes to the core of society and what is deemed appropriate for all
If you are reading this thanks for being the only fan I have for my attempt at poetry
And for taking the time to read this
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1071
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 10/13/2013 2:44:44 AM
"Pride"

What, then, shall you ask me of my pride
Am I to be glowing from excitement
Knowing the truths of those whose path that I have derived
Pride
Are you serious
Do you think that I would feel proud
Knowing that I am descendent of such people
How little you must know if you think that is true
There is much shame and sadness within my heart
For those that have suffered from such cruel people
And worse yet for those that never had the courage to change
And continued onward with the cycle of abuse
And, ask, you shall
And, answer, I will
No, I am not proud of those whose acts I disdain
I am not proud to call them ancestors
Or to acknowledge any relations at all
And, yes, I do feel shame
And, yes, I have felt the prejudice brought forth by kinsman
And, I have, indeed, felt the frustration
And have wanted to scream
No, I am not like them, at all
But, words amount to nothing when no one wants to listen to what you say
And, one more time, if you happen to ask
Am I proud
And, shall answer you, I will
Yes, I am proud
I am proud of me
And how far I've come in life
And for the future I am setting forth for my son
And I am proud of my son
For the things that he is accomplishing
And for the person he is
And I shall be proud
If one day he looks at his life and knows
That his dad loved him beyond words and limits
And with every possible moment of existence
That his dad loved him each and every one
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1072
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 11/7/2013 5:13:16 AM
"Haunted by Ghosts on a Thursday"

If I were to simply say to you
Right now I'm feeling lost and alone
Would you even care
Leave me bleeding feeling bare
Would your heart be just like stone

If you looked into these hurt, sad eyes
Could you feel the pain I've known
Would you hold me near
If you saw the tear
From the cruelty that life has shown

If I were to speak honestly to you
Tell you a reason for hope is all I want
Would you take it wrong
That sometimes I'm not too strong
When these ghosts of the past still do haunt
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1073
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/21/2013 6:19:50 AM
"Monochromatic Ghosts"

It seems surreal in a way
This new course in life
When all that you've known
Is changing
Leading to new realms of possibilities

Facing the truth
Reliving the darkness that was
Not moments in time
But years in total
Seeing ignorance of life raising its hand

From cruelty, naivety abounds
Like a homeless mutt looking for a friend
Bad decisions require little thought
When desperation to be acknowledged for being alive
Lead to paths traveled wished now to be untaken

Mistakes made wish to be atoned
Damaged goods created by the process of handling
Different paints could have created a beautiful picture
But your environment only paints in monochrome colors
What choices do you have when your life is controlled by others

Do I expect you to care
Not really, why should you be different than others
What special gifts do you possess that separates you from the masses
When life labels and categorizes merely for exclusion
One thing I've learned is I wish I could show you a nicer picture
Of the life I knew an entirely different person ago

But your validation for my existence I shall never ask
And forgiveness for myself I shall never allow
I shall be haunted always for my imperfection
But I shall live with only the flicker of hope
That one day I will accept the fact
That fate can be cruel and life is not fair
Perhaps my personal warden will decide its time
And I will release me from my self-imposed sentence
Will a lifetime of humility be enough

The fork in the road
One path
Do you choose to slog through the muck
With the weight of the world on your shoulders
Or finally break free
And realize there are no perfect humans
And we all are victims of ourselves and society

There shall never be forgiveness accepted from others
Until we forgive ourselves personally
One thing true I know
I live with the awareness that we all can grow and change
And my easel contains varieties of colors
I have a fresh canvass on which to be painted
Do you have the ability to paint with hands that don't judge?
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1074
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 10/18/2014 6:34:56 AM
***For those that follow and know me ... I'm still going to Western Carolina and making all A's. I have five more classes and will have my Bachelor's of Science in Business Administration. So, I'm getting there. The past few classes and the amount of time spent going to school is draining and though I'm trying for all A's and if I do make a B, I can deal with that as I, on survival mode at the moment.***

For my Native American religion class
I read a book called Ceremony by Leslie Silko
Now, I do not like to read
And that fact is very true
But, I must say, it is really a good book
Perhaps, it is because I can relate to the main character
And, yes, I do have Native American ancestry, though marginal quantitatively speaking
But that isn't the reason that I can relate
I feel that many can relate
You see, the character is lost
Though not necessarily from his own doing
But by events that happened in his life
And as he tries to live a life that he has no idea how to live
He sinks further into the clutches of desperation, despair, and helplessness
He is caught in the middle of two worlds
And neither truly wants him there
The Indians don't want him because he is part white
The whites don't want him because he is part Indian
Schools and society taught him to be ashamed of the things that are him
Luckily for him, he was able to find a medicine man that understood
That changes happen and that old ceremonies had to be adjusted for new ideas and ways of life
In a way, I am envious, though it is only a book
As I search for the the one to show me the way to walk the path that I want to walk
And the life that I want to live
I don't know if many understand
How the only way and path that you have ever known
Is so much different than the path that you want to walk
And the path that you came you want to get as far away from it as possible
And the path that you want to walk is not easy to get started upon
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to crossover
But I am so tired of seeing what I have already seen
I see the sights and hear the music of another world
Yet, the hands of the old are gripping so tightly
Refusing to release its hold
And the new world is running faster away
Age is catching up quickly
And dreams are fading faster these days
Perhaps some day
Perhaps one day
Perhaps
 Just_Different_
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1075
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 8/11/2015 6:01:30 AM
"Dying With Dignity"

I will not judge others
But now I know
Life is absolutely precious
And should be taken seriously
And I am totally against suicide
But, you know

I now see a different side
The side of life that maybe isn't so beautiful
When a noble man
Can no longer control his bladder and kidneys

I see a man that loved the outdoors and being outside
Trapped in the confines of a hospital bed
I hear a man scream out in pain all day and night
When laughter once left his mouth with ease

I feel the absolute pain and sadness
Of seeing a hero slowly deteriorate
Watching him slip further
Everyday, into the clutches of the evilness that is Alzheimer's

And, yes, I do shed tears
Because I absolutely love that man
Not just because he is my daddy
But because he is also one of the best friends I will ever have

And the thought of him dying does kill me inside
And there is a pain so deep within my heart and soul
And a part of me dies watching him slowly die
An innocence that naivety once brought

Life is beautiful and can be beautiful
But life is not very kind at times
And I ask myself a tough question
One that others have asked themselves, I'm sure

Are the beautiful things and preciousness of life so beautiful and precious
When a person is living in pain and agony
Is it selfish for a person to want to die with dignity
Avoiding the humiliation and shame of having someone having to clean him and feed him
When he was fiercely independent and tough as nails
Is it truly wrong for a person with a terminal disease
And would only live in pain and more pain
And suffer the humiliation and degradation of being totally dependent on others
Slowly rotting away and praying for death to quickly come

Is it wrong for these poor suffering souls to have themselves mercifully terminated
As to avoid the future humiliation that they must endure by the illnesses they face?
Am I against suicide or doctor-assisted suicide? Yes, I am
Could I fault a person that chooses a quicker, less painful way to die?
After seeing my daddy suffering and feeling his pain
Upon knowing the man he was in life and seeing the shell of him that remains

As much as I truly love my dad
I'm not sure I could fault him at all
If he had chosen death over the conditions that he is living under now

Death is a personal dimension in life
I'm not so sure that it is up to others to place a value on life
I find myself questioning the humanity and compassion
Of those that say that doctor-assisted suicide
Or dying with dignity
Or whatever term or phrase a person wishes to choose to call it
Is wrong
I hear the people saying that life is precious
And life should be valued

Answer me this
If someone you loved was being slowly tortured and killed by enemies
And you cannot and will not ever be able to save them
Would you want the pain and torture to go on for years
With your loved one suffering excruciating pain
Or would you want them to die quickly
Even if it meant suicide
Terminal illnesses and diseases are the cruelest of enemies
Should a person elect to say that their loved one should continue to suffer
Because that is their will and want
I honestly question that manner of thought
Is selfishness to that extreme a reflection of any sort of compassion
In my opinion, to disallow others that will suffer horrible pain before dying
Because a person is self-righteous and believes it is wrong
And therefore makes it illegal
Is just as evil as the illnesses that savagely kills slowly

Honestly, it would have hurt deeply if my daddy would have taken the suicide route
But, after seeing his suffering
I would not have blamed him
And still would love him as much as I do now

But, still, I am against abortions
And I am against suicide
But, as America hypocritically speaks of personal freedoms
I feel that a person should have the personal freedom to choose for themselves
In the end, it is our self and our Creator to whom we must answer
 HAMAZING
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 1076
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 9/1/2015 11:52:10 AM
No more borrowed time......

there is where real life transcends our souls to believe

each little piece, brings peace to me......

well, its all to see, go find me there.....as well as others whom traded words with You

The Face with a Book growing larger in seconds.............

Nozofmary Ham is the next definition!!!

and if'n your already there, you need to make me aware...........lol

memories have faded and words have collided, but, I know you'd get all excited!!!



(ps Many would love to see those pictures of your Son!!!, including Me!!! Love Hugs and Kisses)
 TheWhitetigress
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 1077
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 9/12/2015 11:42:06 PM
I would appreciate
any chance to contemplate
fabricate and elaborate
then separate

Take away my mind
won't let it happen a second time
love is now with the wine
I'm too old to chase a dime

Going to sit with time
let anyone to come and dine
til the clock strikes nine

There's my line

Home suits me fine
til it makes me cry
I don't dare whine
can't be so kind
to make someone all mine

My head wont rhyme
my heart wont pine
wont search for a sign
for as long as a vine

Going to sit with time
let anyone come and dine
til the clock strikes nine

There's my line


********************************


I have an a hole in my heart
I need to get rid of him
I need to get revenge
he played me like a six string
he watched with amusement
made me a tortured soul
fkin a hole

I have an a hole in my heart
I need to cry him out
I need to cry to be whole
my insides are doing it for me
my pain turned to pity
made me a colder soul
fkn a hole

I need a man
a good heart
a twisted mind to
heal me
feed me
enlighten me
like the good boy he is

no no I dont want that
but a kind heart
to enter my mouth
and my orifices
like milk from mothers t*tties, he is nourishment
his love
our love
set me free

I thought that is what was to be
with this a hole
who stole me with 5 words
"I think I love you"
fk you fk you fk you fk you fk you
"Its not intentional "you say
still to the this day
fk you


Shut the a hole out
there, done
****************************************
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 1078
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History
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 11/16/2015 3:10:29 PM
you can shut the door, rearrange the furniture
create a whole new view
you can do anything you want to
but you can't stop
love
once it's got a hold of you
unless you are me
cuz I'm pretty free
with my heart

it isn't smart
to love
but sometimes I enjoy being stupid.
 Erota
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 1079
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 11/16/2015 7:00:33 PM
but sometimes I enjoy being stupid
wanna get shot by cupid?
love stings
in those jeans
looking for a dime
thats right on time
but i guess you didn't know the real deal
love kills
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