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Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 1051
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and LovePage 43 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
well... when you are ignoring the negative behavior as suggested, and the little shit picks up a shoe to throw at you... there ain't nothing wrong with 5 good licks from a switch. And, you pull over at that moment, and put him in his place. I don't beat my child, but he gets his butt whipped when he does something completely disrespectful. I always explain what's going on and reinforce. He gets away with some things that other parents wouldn't put up with, but there is ntohing wrong with being consistently firm.

Whipping a child is not abuse, allowing them to run the show is. Time outs and groundings work now that he's older, but they didn't phase him just a few months ago. It's an evolving process. And, just because someone spends their own adult time drinking and fvcking doesn't mean they have neglected their child or not infused his life with great things. I'm a good momma, it is just different when you are a single mom dealing with a boy than with a father. I dont' have a deep, commanding voice to make him snap to attention, but I do have a "pick that shit up right now before I get a switch, you know better!" to give him, and that works for us.

All children are different and some don't need whipped... others do. It is not abuse if done correctly, and I guarantee you if half of the parents out there would quit reading stupid books and start disciplining their children with a good spanking when they need it, we wouldn't see so many snot nosed brats treating their parents as they do.

Sorry to hear about your family, I meant no disrespect.
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1052
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/7/2012 2:21:12 PM
Thanks for you kindness sabetha as child abuse is a very personal subject for me. Honestly, child abuse is something that I have witnessed and felt. I personally know of the physical, mental, and emotional pain that abuse causes. I know the fear and horror that it brings. And I know of dreams that were never dreamed when as a child you find a place deep within your mind just to make it through another day. I know of the wishes of a child to just want to die to just bring an end to the torture and torment that is endured for years to come. I know of the isolation and loneliness that abuse brings when you learn to not trust anyone. And friends don't exist because you, as a person, automatically feel hated regardless of whom you truly are within and really have no idea or concept who you are as a person as you never give yourself a chance to actually be liked or loved for who you really are. I know of the emotional toil as you keep everything bottled up inside as you don't dare speak a word or complain because that will just set the rage off and the beatings from just pure anger would be severe. Yes, I spent a large portion of my life wanting to die, having no true friends and not being able to fully trust or to truly believe in anyone. And it wasn't a very enjoyable time to live through. Just the sadness from being all alone is enough to send some people over the edge. I don't speak much of my past to anyone and very little of it to my son. I am so glad that the compassion and understanding that I learned along the way found its way into my heart and I was able to break the cycle of abuse and give my precious son something that I never had as a child. The security of being loved, understood, and the ability to just be himself and be loved just for being who he really is. I might be flawed and a loser, but my dear, dear son knows that he is truly loved and that means the absolute world to me. He doesn't plead for death like once I did, now I want to live forever just to spend and share in every valuable, remarkable second of his existence. I still have some scars on my legs and there are wounds within my heart and maybe even a bit of a tortured soul at times as I can't always forget and not remember the cruelty that I have known. But seeing the smile on my son's face will brighten even the darkest of hours and days.

How can you understand ... you never took the time to see ... listen ... or feel
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1053
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/12/2012 3:12:39 PM

Very much enjoyed were our chats before class
It made showing up for biology lab much more fun
You didn't fear me despite my appearance
And that says a lot about you

Your kindness will always be appreciated
And I enjoyed seeing your eyes sparkle
When speaking of your brother whom you adore so much
And sharing with me his strength to make it through life

The kindness exploded through your smile
And the gentle nature of your soul through your voice and words
I'm glad that I got a chance to know you
And will wish you the best of everything forever more

You were my friend and I never wanted anything more
Though beautiful outside, your beauty inside more clear
You uplifted my spirit when I felt so down
God blessed me with knowing whom you are

I will miss our chats that is true
And I am glad to know that people like you still exist
Always you will have a true, true friend
And appreciation for you being as you are

I guess I will miss our entire little group
Dawn, Kristen, Hayley, and you
Honestly I needed the laughter to help me along
So thanks to you all I made it through the semester

I guess in a way you are kinda like my little sister
And I am glad that my words touched you to tears
You are my friend and I am your fan
So good luck to you in all that you do

Time dictates that we say goodbye
And I am better by knowing you than I was before
So good luck, my friend, sis, and beautiful soul
God bless you always in all that you do
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1054
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/14/2012 5:56:26 AM
I don't know
I guess I've been thinking about the marriage amendments that have been voted on lately
Really, taking the time to reason, formulate my ideas, and process thoughts
I suppose I find there is so much hypocrisy and ignorance in the entire concept
Really there seems to be a lot of self-righteous bullying that is occurring
That is filled with flawed logic
I guess the Bible is a sensitive subject on my behalf
I do not doubt that Jesus existed and died on the cross
Nor do I doubt that He change the world and saved us all from a life of tyranny
Yes, Jesus, one of the original rebels though most do not have a clue how big a rebel that He truly was
Was He a freedom fighter?
Absolutely, you better believe it
He knew that death was a certainty to those that resisted the powers in control
I believe that I am one of those that does not believe that all of the Bible is to be taken literally
There was so much uncertainty and questions as to why this and why that and how come this happened
That mankind tried to fill in the blanks with the wisdom that was available at the time
But, honestly, I do not ever recall Jesus or God being quoted that it took this certain amount of time to create the Earth
I do know that God's time and the time of man are not the same
Who is not to say that God didn't put forth the necessary procedures for the creation of Earth
And it formed over a duration of time
It is possible that it could have happened that way
I suppose there are many other points that I could make
But another point that I will speak is the great flood with Noah
It mentions that it rained for forty days and forty nights
There doesn't seem to be many that realize that during that time period
And in that area of the world that the number forty was used to signal a significant amount
That there was not necessarily forty total, but used in a symbolic way to mean more than a few
Anyone else remember Ali Baba and the forty thieves
If taken literally, if there was so much rain, would a person be able to tell days from nights
It is possible that they could
It is possible that they couldn't
It is open for interpretation and personal belief
I do not deny the existence of God or powers greater than those on Earth
All I am saying is that there is more than one way for interpretation
Besides, isn't it kinda cool to be given a choice to believe in whatever you believe in
Especially, without being forced to believe in a certain way
If God wanted, He could make everyone do as He wanted
But that doesn't appear to be what He wants
If God gives us, as human being a choice to choose the lives we live
Then, why do we as mankind make the choice for those that lack power to live as we dictate
Personally, I am opposed to gay marriage and abortions on a personal level
But, that is my personal belief and choice
But, I do not believe that gay people should be discounted, bullied, or have less rights than other people
The same that I believe that each woman has to make a decision for herself on childbirth or abortion
If, as a society, we are to be sickened by the thought of gay couples married
Or women having an abortion
If that is what is to be chosen, than let's do away with all hypocrisy
If people want to make reference to the Bible as inspiration and evidence that these acts are morally wrong
Then, by all means, let's get back to the whole idea of the Bible
Don't just choose bits and pieces for your own benefit
If you're gonna do this, let's do it right
Let's go all the way with it
Is this what you are really wanting to do
If so, women tell your rights good bye
Women, your man is now head of all household affairs
And, by the way, you can no longer work as a woman's role in society is to be at home
To be subservient to her husband
You also lose any legal rights for not being abused or mistreated
And, I suppose since slavery existed, I guess it is time for minorities to become slaves again
And be treated less than equal
So I guess there will be no problem at all with this
That is, until the Hispanic population becomes the majority population which is just about ready to happen now
So I guess all of those that are not Hispanic can prepare to be slaves or servants or whatever you want to call them
As they are the same
But, hey, this is what you say that you want
Don't blame me for it
Oh yeah, for the women, as far as divorce and remarriage
Mostly, it's not going to happen for you
It is pretty much a one shot deal
Basically, you are stuck with the one that you marry
And sex outside of marriage
Well, you can forget any sort of self-indulgence
Dudes are more luckier, all it takes is for a cheating spouse and he's good to go again
Now you women might not think that that is fair
But, being traditional here, what you think really does not matter
After all, you are nothing more than being a woman, your opinion doesn't matter at all
Hey, these are not my thoughts, this is based on traditional values of yesterday
No need to be mad at me
I feel that people, men and women both, should have choices
But since this is obvious how a great number of people feel
Especially demonstrating their opinion by voting for amendments preventing gay marriage
Or recognition of children born outside of legal marriages
Personally, I would have figured that especially women, supporters of abortions, minorities of all colors
And those that are oppressed regardless of the amount of oppression
Would be the ones leading the way to oppose this social bullying that is occurring
Because, people, all people, here is a little something to remember
By denying this segment of society rights that others have
Think about this
Really, truly, think about this
What is going to happen if they focus on other areas
Such as abortion or laws condemning equality
What happens if a different religions gets control of Congress
And decides to implement their religious beliefs as rules of the land
Imagine places where there is persecution and oppression
Corruption and ignorance
Where the law of the land is dictated by who has the most people, money, and who have the most powerful weapons
Is this what you, what we, as Americans want our country to be
Where only those that have power are allowed to bully those that don't
If this is how we want our country to be
Than the future of our country is truly bleak and dismal
I did learn one thing in my sociology class that is both disturbing and I suppose interesting in a way
There is 33% or one-third of all Americans never reach the state of development that is abstract
What that means is
Have you ever asked a boy, what it would be like if he was a girl
And he replies that I am a boy, I don't know
Or even vice verse
Have you ever asked a girl what it would be like if she was a boy
And again she replies I'm a girl, not a boy
They are not showing the capacity for abstract thinking
Anybody remember the song "Imagine" by John Lennon
Those that lack abstract reasoning do not have the ability to imagine if
And if there is anyone that does not have this ability that reads my words
I am not signaling out any person or group whatsoever
I am not making any suggestions
I am not saying that all of what I said are my beliefs
I know it is sad to do this but I don't want any person to feel that I am picking on them
Or trying to tell them what to do or believe
All that I am trying to say is that every person
Regardless of personal beliefs or choices deserves to be treated the same as others
Abortions or gay marriage are choices that Americans must make for themselves
But they should not be considered any less American because of their choices
I mean, hey, I don't agree with their decisions
But I am man enough, American enough, to realize that once we start segregating and denying privileges to one
Soon it will become an epidemic in which others are discriminated against
If we allow our country to be ran based exclusively on religious philosophy and beliefs
Ask yourself this, what happens if a brutal, discriminatory religion takes control and implements its belief
What if oppressive beliefs rule the land and only a select few are given power
What happens if a non-Christian religion takes control of the country
And gives you the choice to accept heir religion and deny Christ or be persecuted, enslaved, tortured, and killed
Or be forced to watch your children murdered in front of your eyes
That, my friend, is the danger of religion having too much influence in government
It may not be easy to imagine as now there are established Christian beliefs
But through dissension, oppression, and segregation, seeds of distrust and anger grows
I do like my country
There are a lot of good people in my country
I feel that its time that we stop being divisive and allowing all to have their piece of happiness and inclusiveness
Luckily, we all are different
Let us all be accepting of others
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1055
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:14:23 AM
"The Great Savior?"

Shall we hastily build
A pipeline in the Midwest
That will lower the cost of fuel
And all will be happy
But have you ever considered
The underground water supply
If disaster struck and oil was spilled
Where is the oil going
Underground aquifers
Water supply for residents
And irrigation for crops
In the bread basket of America
A polluted water supply that can not be used
Then what?
What will the people drink
What will the animals drink
What will the crops drink
How will the crops grow without water
What will you eat if food is not available
How will you afford a food substitution when millions of others will be buying as well
As the prices of food will sky rocket
Due to the shortage and demand
What then shall be used for water
As the short supply becomes less as pollution becomes more
Oh, did I mention about global warming altering weather patterns
As the sun is responsible for the weather
Do we run the risk of polluting our water supplies
Under the pretense of saving on fuel costs
When market conditions do not factor into the cost of fuel
As it is being controlled by market speculators (rich people that have the power and wealth to manipulate the market)
Will a pipeline truly be the answer
As time proves repeatedly that the stock market is directly geared to make the rich richer
All it takes is one oil spill disaster in the Midwest to alter America's way of life and marketplace
And exactly how much money would we all save on fuel
When the price of fuel does not lie in the hands of the consumer
And one other thing to ponder
According to data on the world's oil supply
At today's consumption
There is only enough oil supplies to last for approximately thirty years
Then what
And one other scary question to ask
As the world stands today under current conditions and developments
Does it scare the heck out of anyone else that there children and grandchildren will be living
In a declining civilization
Tomorrow may be too late to change
It's time to wake up
Get educated on life and the events that matter
Learn the truth
And take action
Simply, it is time to live with the knowledge
That the time to do something about the destruction and waste is now
Literally, tomorrow may be too late
Oil and coal is not the answer
The world needs sustainable energy not a pipeline
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1056
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/19/2012 9:17:38 AM
"Population Control"

There is so much scorn towards China
About the one child birth limit
Imagine a country with over a billion person population
Reproducing at will and without any thoughts of the repercussions
The Earth can sustain approximately 13 billion people
And the population of the world is over 7 billion now
As the population increases, the resources diminish
What happens when the resources are all used up
What happens when there is increased demand for resources
Prices increase and the poor and oppressed suffer the most
What happens when there are millions that can't afford to buy food
And there is no food to give to them
World disorder
Children starving
Dead bodes lying in the streets
Disease running rampant from the decay
Where is 13 billion people gong to live
Cramped cities
More homicides from close proximity and the frustration of cramped living conditions and impoverished lives
It is easy to criticize when the situation is not realized
And all the factors not being considered
Just out of curiosity
Did you know
The more educated a society is
And more specifically
The more educated that a woman becomes in a developing or third world country
The less children that she gives birth to during her lifetime
China may seem harsh in their attempt of population control due to sustainability
But the truth is that they have realized the importance and necessity of population control
And implemented it at a sooner time than other countries throughout the world
Unless something drastically changes in the near future
It will not take long to reach maximum population sustainability
And others throughout the world will be forced to do the same
Unfortunately, like in the case of much of African, Asia, and the Middle East
When the population reaches maximum sustainability
There will be so much suffering
Especially amongst the children
And they did not ask to be born into a world so harsh and cold
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1057
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/19/2012 5:26:51 PM
There are some that wish to make a difference
Maybe in a life
For even a moment in time
I guess sometimes a dreamer must face reality
And the thoughts and wishes once thought and wished slowly fade and die
With the realization that death is but a moment away
What shall we take as we cross the plane
I hope this sadness I feel shall stay behind
As the smell of a dying rose is much different
Than the sweetest aroma of a freshly bloomed desert flower
Death harshly awaits all that are born
And the bitterness of life bites the soul sometimes
What then exists but just a moment of time
As we all will be forgotten eventually as time doesn't stand still
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 1058
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 10/17/2012 4:44:32 PM
Amazing... realy :)
So sensitive...
I dont knew this part of POF, and loved what u write...have tears in my eyes...lovely :)
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 1059
Welcome to Hell OH!!!! Do Not Enter. Restricted hazardous area. infected.
Posted: 10/18/2012 9:41:10 AM
Hey Cris, you may want to get out of here. This shit may get rowdy. hm hm hm.
uh huh uh huh.

Pretty place here. wow..nice.
I was enjoying the time of my life. It was so o so fine and dandy.
and I must say....
anyone still livin' out there?
anaboda? hm.
oh thats nice.
What. the. ****. happened to you?..
tisk tisk.
and you!...*shaking head right now
Strong and wise I see. Good Job. Keep strong.
know any oodoov?

This appears to be quite a stew.
oh wow..
how many cooks in this kitchen?? really?
now, I seen shit hit the fan before..
who's doing the hiring around here?

hellooooo? hello? L o bello ringing like cello?...nothing.
at least I now what Ill be eating for a while..

yep. someone...needs to get slapped.

Yes. Good intentions I see.
Yes. Sick pathetic misery.

"Here! Take my hand and we can journey together! Fend off our demons together! I. know. what. it. is. like. I. Yes...........I do! We can help eachother out!" *cuffpuksplash ommph. aha. lol hea heh

"This shit is lame and boring."

Oh. there we go.
This looks good to me.
reading...reading...reading...reading...ughh wtf.
Say spoke jam?
Stammering in mannerisms like jizzum on yo face? ah...don't mind me..just a paraphrase..displaced in this place. maze are fun! HAHAHAHA ..yeeeea. alrighty.
in the case..anyway..
*puke cough cough...

blowing smoke rowin. roman candles
handle well...? can you spell?
welcome to hell.
>:(( lolololololololololololololololololololololololol <:))

seriously, **** this shit.
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 1060
Welcome to Hell OH!!!! Do Not Enter. Restricted hazardous area. infected.
Posted: 10/18/2012 2:11:11 PM
This is fun.
I don't have to write poems for anyone.
just pure damnation.
this my station, now. how?
ah ah ah a oww. wow
Won't you come one out?
let me hear your shout.
In time spines align like poetic line of thought coming down to one coordinated plot mixed
though inversion, seperation and sift missplacing tough mistakes burried under dirt. hopefully something uplifts. like the lost grip of a mind.
most line just shitty empty ryhmes.
except for a few targeting words, that seemed to be look up and down upon as "derp".
and now I usurp. 3:D
heres a little thing, its called reducing yourself.
which is not an act asking for help.
but a reach to stop "helping"
and I can't even say Im up here selling, up selling you. nope. just selling you. poop
eat it up.
or come shut me up. :) cheese cup.
I like cheese. mmm please.
I got a cracker with a salt tracker.
oops spoon noob loom poos fooze in twos from the loon. greet. meet.
any. way.
But I know I glanced. and I saw it. just waiting to come accross it again.
until then.
im am lost.
but look forward to it.
nothing feels better than having something to do.
you! :D aahhhhh! lololollolllolol
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1061
view profile
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 11:06:51 AM
Cris1971Benedy ... I probably want stay long, I guess essentially I joined just to say thanks for stopping by and sharing your kind warms. Obviously there aren't many fans of my poetry so it is an honor to have someone say such kind things. Thanks a lot. JD

Flake ... fluoride ... toothpaste ...whoever ... or whatever you are ... were ... might be ... someday. Somehow, though, I think that the username flake fits you perfectly. I have many flaws in life and if my life could be better, I wish that it could be better. And I guess that there are many people that post poems maybe wishing that perhaps someone may like them. And I guess deep within we all know that we open up ourselves to criticism when we post. That is a risk that we all take. Also, I think that a person's true character shines through in situations where they can attack people without consequence or repercussion. And your posts say a lot about your character. If you think my poetry is crap or even if you were just so vile and repugnant as to take a virtual dump on a thread of someone that had not done or said anything out of the way what-so-ever to you, then that screams a lot about the type of person that you are. Ha ha ha (sarcastically) ... what you did is so funny. And you know what ... of all the bad things that I have seen and all the bad things that I have lived ... you know what ... I sure am glad and lucky that I am not you. Yes, flake, is such a perfect username for you. And if you post here again, I will not even bother reading it, as I don't care what you have to say. The truth is why would anybody care what someone of your character has to say?

One semester with one class to take
Four days left in this semester
In five months
I'll be a college graduate
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 1062
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 11:18:06 AM
^ woo hoo!

we come and go
through pages now old,
reading and relating
to poetic stories told,
might better days find us
on these pages once again,
with the pouring of hearts
and the rememberings of when...
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 1063
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 3:15:08 PM
Hey there buddy,

Thank you...actually.
With all honesty, I didn't read through you thread.
Didn't know who started it, didn't think it was you.
Didn't percieve you to be ill intended, nor good intended either.
Truth is I know nothing of this thread, though... figured why not b.s. it to shit../it apeared it already had been.
...though, no doubt, I went over the top on it.
Sometimes a little poke to see what happens, pokes whats to happen next, at least when your scratchin' you head about it.
Just know, I made no assumtions or doubts about you, yourself, my friend.
My posts on your thread, just an instanteous thing. Something caught my attention, and left me scratching my head..."ok...what???" lol ..really.
Skimming through the thread, though not read in detail, I picked up on a few words mirroring my own in this forum, and thought to myself, considereing my thus far experience here and thought to myself, "aahh..shit. this ain't good" lol.. though anyway... your new post on your thread shows something about you, that being - you not backing down.

No one should ever take blame for what they themselve did not do, when they know it in their heart they did not.
No one should place blame elsewhere, for what they know they did within their heart either.
One should always be straight with themselves before they get straight with others.

I apologize, if my post offeneded you, though regardless of your stand point, through out your thread, which I know nothing about, if you stand firm on yourself as you are for your good and bad, it should not affect you all too much. It would only cause distress to those who are unsure of their own guilt and innocence.

Like I said, clueless of this thread, prior to my own, and through my own witness of my own experience. At a certain point mine and yours were coupled. I scaned quikly, saw what I needed for me to say "Whoa! Whoa Whoa! back the truck up!" lol I wasn't judging, though I learned a long time ago, to cover my own ass. lol BlaoW! lol

anyway... nice to meet you, you can call me judas in the name of fun. :)
...mind cuttin' me down now? ;)

Thank you for coming back my friend! pheww! lol

and..yes,, Flake rings quite true with me, twas why I picked the name. :)
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 1064
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 12/4/2012 3:35:50 PM
Simply put; my eyes.

One can walk in to a house.
The place is a mess.
Holes in walls.
Mud on walls.
Feet prints on the ceiling.
Lamp shades knocked over.
Chairs hanging off door handles.
Carpet ripped up.
Windows broken.
Television smashed in.
Glitter glueded to every wall.
Graffitti all over ceilings, walls, floors, appliances, furniture.

One does not need to know what happened to know something got messed up.
I for one, am not one to go around pointing fingers,
rather would walkin with two middle fingers waiving in the air at no one in particular...
...hey, thats just me.

Don't get me wrong, I could careless about what happen here on this thread...
though somethin's telling me, it's affecting me... so then of course...
well hey...

Just a song that means something to me: B.S.

Just accept me as a friend who wont do shit for you and all is well.

:) Welcome back, nice to meet you. Sincerely.
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1065
view profile
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:40:30 PM
m8t ... Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words. I have always read your thread and enjoyed your poetry.

Twitchy ... My bad for reacting as I did. As far as I'm concerned, we're cool.

The darkness continues its path across the sky as the moon slides in and out of the clouds
There's a cold wind blowing from a familiar direction
And a voice that is repeating the same words once listened
I await for the snow to melt and a new path to follow
For the very first time
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 1066
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 1/19/2013 1:37:55 PM
Hope your NEW YEAR IS ALL you Hope it to BE J.D. :) hugz
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1067
view profile
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:09:22 AM
hummingbird ... Thanks a lot for your kind words. So far, things are good. I'll be graduating in May and am in the process of putting an application in for a University. They offer a distance learner business degree in Business Administration with a specialized area of entrepreneurship. I always wanted to have my own business so it will be cool if I get accepted. Hopefully, I'll know within a month as I'm finishing up the paperwork needed and it all should arrive within a week. So, it's just the waiting that is the worst part. Take care my friend and feel free to drop by my thread again. Hugs :) JD

I open the door to check that he's okay
And as I look at him sleep the tears build in my eyes
He is so beautiful to me as I see that smile on his face
As he is resting so peacefully in deepest somber
An aura of innocence shining so bright
He looks just like an angel to my heart
I listen for his breath and look at the cover to make sure it rises and falls
Just to make sure that he hasn't flown away
And I realize just how lucky I am
To have been entrusted to be a father to such a wonderful young man
And without question
I know I have been blessed by God, Himself
And am so humbled to know that somewhere in life
I did something so special that God blessed me so much
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1068
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/16/2013 9:21:44 AM
That path of the journey ended
May 10, 2013
As I walked across the stage
Somehow I was not nervous
Standing in front of the crowd
My name was called
And I started my walk
Nonchalantly and with a casual pace
It did seem surreal in a way
As the dean asked if it was worth the time
I heard the cheering for me
And I did feel a pride
As I listened to the announcement
I was receiving high honors
There was a lot of hard work that went into my grades
I remember the cheering for me
So vividly
That by my family
And friends I made at college
I received my diploma
And an alumni pin from the college
And as I was walking back to my seat
I spotted my son in the crowd
And focused directly on him
For a second or two
He had such a look of pride on his face
And truth be told
I never would have walked across the stage
If not for him
But I looked at him and smiled
And shook my head yes a couple of times
I did it
I sat in the seat as the last names were read out
And I remember as we were leaving the building
Walking out in lines of two
I remember the applause that was given
And felt so humbled by that experience
The thunderous echoing throughout the audience
Of people clapping and woo-hooing
As the procession made its way out
I could feel by the intensity of the applause
And by seeing the pride on my son's face
The amount of love, respect, and honor
And the pride that those in attendance felt
And afterwards as I saw hugs exchanged between others
And felt hugs exchanged between me and my family and friends
I felt the pride of accomplishment
From being the grandson of sharecroppers
To being a person further changing
The direction of my family
The road has been difficult
And I received some help along the way
And I must acknowledge two persons
That motivated me to go back and finish
What I had started ten years before
In my heart there is such a love and admiration
For these all important people to me
One is my son
And the other my best friend I shall ever have
That I hope knows I always will love her ...
Thanks to those that helped along the way
And those that gave me the motivation and determination ...
Today as I face the world
I do so
As a college graduate ...
I'll enjoy the summer
And get prepared for the Fall semester at WCU ...
Next comes my Bachelor's Degree in Business
And so now starts a new path
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 1069
Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 5/17/2013 8:46:27 AM
may your educational journey
be a rewarding and soon profitable one :)
best wishes for a bright future
for you and your son~
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1070
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 6/14/2013 4:59:32 PM
m8t ... Many kind thanks for your well wishes. I officially registered for my classes for the Fall 2013 school year at Western Carolina University. So I'm definitely excited to be starting then. It will be a new chapter to write for my life. Luckily, I'll be able to complete my degree over the Internet. I will probably end up getting a Master's Degree by the time I'm finished as it isn't too many course hours to complete after obtaining your Bachelor's degree. I definitely want to get into an Investment/Stockbroker employment situation where hopefully I will end up with my own investment company. So many, many kind thanks for your wishes. I hope that life is treating you and your family well.

"Raging Waters"

Upon the ocean
Drifting directionless
Falling victim to the sea's mercy and will
As she shows none
Looking for a flicker
From a distant light house
When shall the light appear
Days pass
Months pass
Years pass
Anger grows
Rage ensures
Loneliness augments the hollow soul within
Hope diminishing
Years spent looking for a friend
In vain
Despair covered by dropped eyes
Afraid to face the truth
The sea
She never stops her tides
And an eternity can be spent
Wondering aimlessly
Caught in the middle of the oceans
Where is the light in the distance
When shall she smile
When shall she say hello
Years spent
Lonely days
Lonely nights
Words of cruelty
Echoing within
Finally the light shines
Finally something
And someone
After all these years
In blindness and obscurity
Fearful of the next hateful remark or event
Finally a true friend
Years have past
Since she said hello
Not many words are spoken lately
But the love still exists
Deep embedded love
That shall last forever

Upon the shores
With light shining bright
Looking backward
With eyes that truthfully see
Amazed at the strength
That one can possess
Realizing the sadness that life once was
And not ever forgetting all the pain
Some things can not be forgotten
No matter the time
So many lonely, lonely years
But the shore was found
And the sun shall set today
For a new day tomorrow
And the darkness of time spent on raging waters
Is becoming more faded
And forgotten
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1071
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 6/27/2013 9:24:30 AM
"The Truth Of The Playground Bully?"

I watch with amusement
As your ego soars into the stratosphere
Headed directly to the vastness
And emptiness
Of space
To an uncharted destination
Where only you are possible of residing
Through your venomous rage
Your muddled words lack clarity
Hidden beneath the vile attempt
Of what you perceive as truth
The distorted perception that your life evolves
Rotating repeatedly through your inferiority complex
Hidden beneath your guise of bravery and belligerence
You are sadly mistaken
Not all tremble with fear
From your words
Or actions
The world doesn't stop turning
At your whelm
Only within your warped perception
Does the fear you think you bring
Bring about the result that you seek
You are nothing more than a schoolyard bully
Speaking loudly, boldly, and with lacking amplification
But deep inside your heart and soul you know
Where your cowardice hides like the scared child
That you are deep within
That there are some that are not scared by words
There are some that are not afraid
Threats of violence
And spoken words of gore and destruction bring no fear
And you know
As well as others
All are not scared of you
Or live in fear of the farce of your miserable existence
You are nothing more than a mere coward
Afraid to face truth and reality
Or the ghosts
That bring your resignation to hide
Behind the veil of perceived hostility
From this day forward you shall be known as
Shamed and scared
This truth I have spoken
And so shall your name remain the same
Until you prove otherwise
Now I dare you
Swing at me
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1072
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 7/4/2013 9:21:41 AM
"Hated For Life/Indifference Of Blood"

Guess it couldn't be understood at that time
A child's perception focuses on feelings
Without knowing the reasons why
Within the heart a feeling is known
Hateful remarks and cold stares
Words of cruelty landing so deep
Grandchild, nephew, or niece does not matter
When their mother shall never be loved either
For the wife of their brother and son
Shall never meet their expectations
So, too, shall the offspring suffer the same fate
Forever being the children of his wife
Sharing some of the same blood and ancestry
But never truly being a member of their family
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1073
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 7/17/2013 7:38:25 AM
"Lost In A Moment Of Time"

We were talking and laughing
Not being very serious at all
While driving through the parking lot
Getting ready to park
In front of the house
I heard a voice as I was driving
"Excuse me, sir"
I looked around
And saw this girl
That I had just ridden past
So I backed the car
To where she was
And she handed me a flyer
That mentioned their church
Was having a youth day
On Saturday, July 20th, 2013
As I was looking at the flyer
I realized that I had no idea
What day that today was
I didn't know what today's date was
And at that particular second
I didn't even know whether
It was June or July
However, I did know the year
And who the President is
No, I'm not crazy (laughs)
I was just enjoying a special moment
Shared with my son
Where nothing else mattered
The entire universe
Was non-existent
And at that moment
Totally irrelevant
All that I could remember
And feel at that second
Was the laughter
That we were sharing
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1074
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 7/31/2013 8:20:23 AM
"Lost And Hoping To Be Found"

I will not ask you to understand me
Nor to try
Why should you anyway
Why would you be any different than others
That look superficially at me
Failing to see my depths
You could never know
Yet you could
If only you took the time to see
There are reasons
And I wonder if only you knew the truth
Whether you would still see me as you do
Images of my being
Is what life has taught me to project
They are not what truly resides inside
Yet you judge me by face

Looking into my eyes
Do you not see the pain
That I have inside
I did not ask for it as it was given so generously to me
I have never enjoyed the cruelty that was shown
Uncaring words are sharper than razors
When they cut into the heart and soul
And actions that say that you are not cared for
Does scar for life
Especially when they are derived from those that are supposed to care

Do you know what it is like
To never feel special
Or to feel that you are irrelevant and do not matter to anyone
If you do you shall be my brother or sister
And together we shall lament a fate we did not want
We were not given a choice for the environment that we entered this life upon
And through all the trial and tribulations
We arrive at one of two conclusions
Do we become selfish and self-indulged
Or do we learn compassion for others

Yet you shall never know who I am
Because of my face or the walls of self-preservation that I have learned to build
I am caught somewhere between a child scared and fearing for his life
And the person that would give you the shirt off of his back
Having the ability to love you for eternity and beyond
Treating you with the kindness and gentleness that so many have only dreamed
And maintaining an entrenched compassion that a life filled with sadness
Fear and destitution has delivered
Yet you don't know who I am
And I can't easily show you
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 1075
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Are You Strong Enough to Bleed ..... and Love
Posted: 8/6/2013 6:21:36 AM
"The "N" Word/Societal Dominion/Reflections Upon My Life"

I have never liked that word
Not even as a child
Because in the world I grew up in
It meant distrust
Of not just one race against another
But against both races towards each other
I have heard it used in all sorts of negativity
Not only against people
But against idealism toward something bad
My parents were never truly racists
Really, how could they be
Both coming from families that had Native American ancestry
Yes, society tried to teach me to be racist
But I'm not here to condemn society
Just to tell the simple truth
That I have learned and experienced first hand
Society has a method of discrimination and separation
A desire to categorize and label
It is not designed for integration
It runs parallel to Darwin's belief of Natural Selection
And was a huge contributor of Hitler's philosophy of elimination
First, there are separation of races
Then there are division of classes between each race
With each exhibiting belief that it is superior to the class beneath it
Finally the separation reaches the top where the elitists exist
And they maintain and exploit all the power that society freely gives to them
Because when everything is based on money
They weld tremendous authority
There is one true fact regarding revolutions
It is not the poor that start revolutions
As they do not have the resources to do so
And live with the constant threat that all it takes is one misstep
And their entire existence crumbles and they lose what little they possess
It sure isn't the elitist or the wealthy that start revolutions
As those in power do not just give control of it away
And money is equivalent to power
It is the middle class that start revolutions
They posses enough resources and are large enough in number to bring change
Ever notice in countries where there is no or a small middle class
There are corrupt governments
Who dares risk their very life to speak out against injustice and corruption in those countries
It is society that helps to instill values and beliefs
And the "N" word is just one of many that is used to separate one's self from others
But the truth is and what is so often not parlayed
Is that each and every single race uses negative and derogatory words towards the other races
But, also, each race uses words to separate themselves from other members of the same race
And I am speaking exclusively from personal experience
To know me is to know that I am not racist
And that I do what I can to try to help people out if I can
I worked with African fellow that had no car
It was raining and dark outside and he was going to walk home
So me and my cousin gave him a ride to his house where he invited us in to meet his family
We stayed a little while and was watching television
And there was some popular TV show that was on
But I have no idea what it was as I think back
And really I don't feel like wasting my time trying to think about what the name was
But it was a show during the 80's that the characters on it was white
And one of the characters did something stupid
And a member of the dude's family said "stupid cracker"
And then the room turned silent which was magnified as the station was simultaneously going to a commercial break
And that silence was deafening and seemed to last for hours
I was not emotionally hurt whatsoever by the remark
What I remember feeling the most was insecurity and a threat to my personal existence and safety
Because society taught that those that use those words are hostile towards the race that they use it towards
Think about this
The new separation barrier that is now in place by society
Have you noticed the use of ethnicity
Asking what is a person's ethnicity
Though there is confusion by some
Ethnicity is not related to race
It is basically how a person was raised
What their morals and standards are
What their beliefs and values are
Really and honestly
It is the absolute stupidest attempt to categorize that has ever been created
Because you have a white or Caucasian background
Does that mean that you are gangsters like some white people
And that you celebrate Hanuka like some white people
Or that you are racist like some white people
Does it mean that you are elitists or born into wealth and power like some white people
And the very same thing can be used in all races and the division of classes within the race
Not every person is born into the same situation and possess the same norms, standards, and morals
As others within that race
I was born a grandson of share croppers on one side of my family
On the other side, I am the great grandson of a man that ran a bootleg, gambling, and prostitution joint
He killed a man during a poker game and served time in jail
I am the grandson of a man who along with his twin brother robbed a gas station
Who was an alcoholic that beat his wife and abused his kids
And had me as a three or four year old boy afraid to even breath
Because he said if I moved he was going to kill me with a fireplace poker
I guess there are other examples that I could use to show that
No, not all white people are born into a life of luxury and wealth where a child can dream big
And not all white people are racist that go around using the "N" word
The truth is that this is a divisive world
But it doesn't have to be
And you know what
I am proud of what I have accomplished in life
And the person that I have grown to become
Because the blue prints that I was given was to be a complete and total failure
Except for one thing
I had two parents that tried to give me a better life than they knew
And, no, they were not perfect or without flaws
But I know deep down in my heart that they truly did the best they could
And went far beyond what they was taught to be and to do
And now as a single parent dad that tries to fulfill two roles in my son's life
You can rest assured knowing that I am giving my all to give him a path for a better life
Because in the end, it all goes deeper than a word
It all goes to the core of society and what is deemed appropriate for all
If you are reading this thanks for being the only fan I have for my attempt at poetry
And for taking the time to read this
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