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 AUTHOR
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2
sticky situationPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I agree with your wife. Until you've filed the papers, you're 'on a break' no matter your intentions. You're cheating. If you intend to keep doing what you're doing, you need to get to an attorney ASAP.
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 6
sticky situation
Posted: 10/13/2007 4:50:05 PM
Sounds like the "little head" is doing all the thinking. I don't consider it cheating but it is
pretty sloppy on your part. In my state, lawyers do charge up front.....and depending on your assets (which doesn't sound like a lot) it can be rather costly.
Since you want the divorce, it would be sort of lame to expect your wife to file/pay.
I was really poor when I got a divorce 30+ years ago, so I wrote up the papers, filed them (had my husband meet me at the courthouse) ...then I represented myself before the judge.
My divorce cost $17.69 plus a lot of gumption on my part.
A lot of a lawyer's fee is "babysitter".
Sounds to me like you are hitting the "middle age crazies" and thought fun in the fast lane
with your brother would be fun. You know what they say...."the grass is always greener".
I think you need to talk with your wife.....and listen to your heart. She may have decided she doesn't want you back! Won't that be a kick in the ass?
Becca
 Carolina2
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 7
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 10/13/2007 4:50:06 PM
WTF!!!! I think you already know your answer. Sounds like the wife is one hell of a woman who took and honored her marriage vows, unlike you, and I hope when you get the balls to make the divorce final, she finds a honest man who loves and respects her. Of course you are cheating on her, you know that, you got caught, and by saying you and brother are now living the BACHELOR life....and kinda with a younger girl....is that like kinda being pregnant?? Get the divorce dude, your wife at least deserves that from you!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 9
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:03:57 PM
OP ... didn't get the answers you wanted in the other thread ... http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8438085.aspx#8438375 ... so you started this one to try to gather support from the men?

I should hope the men wouldn't support you in this ...

Get the divorce and leave the innocents out of it. You can still hang out with your brother without having to involve another woman in your antics.
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 10
sticky situation
Posted: 10/13/2007 6:59:40 PM
^^^^^^^^what she said - oh! You still stink
 Applette
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 15
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 10/13/2007 11:24:21 PM
You are still legally married ... however you could get a legal seperation! I get the impression from some of the text in your message and the fact that you have not contacted a lawyer that there may be a chance at getting back together. As far as I am concerned you are not cheating on your wife (adultery yes) you moved out before you decided to be with and live with another woman. Younger does not really factor into any of it ..... but cheating is sneaking around with another woman or women while still sharing the marriage bed. Actually you are free to do whatever you want ...... just gives your wife solid grounds for divorced.

By the way .......there are many individuals on here (men/women) separated but looking for someone to date or connect with long term......... What is that about ....... are they cheating as well?

Ladies lighten up on this guy ....... some of your responses are just nasty ...... got something nasty to say to me? Ummmmm thought so!
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 16
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:04:51 PM
Sorry dude, I have to agree with most people here. Since you have put no effort into getting divorced, after all that time, it sounds like you can't make up your mind. I spent a lot of time thinking about my Divorce Filing and the day we decided we were done I already had a Lawyer and things in motion that week. So dude, you ARE cheating IMO.

Um, you might want to fix your profile, you're an awfully tall WOMAN!



Age 29
Gender Woman
Body Type Athletic
Religion Non-Religious
Hair Color Black
Private Images No

I am Seeking a Woman Who is Looking for Friends

 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 17
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:46:20 AM
Amen! Go get snipped ASAP PLEASE! You're making the rest of us look bad!
 lanl_menace
Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 18
sticky situation
Posted: 1/1/2008 2:12:53 AM
OP,

This doesn't quite answer your question but... Take it from someone that knows -- FILE THE PAPERWORK!!!! I don't care if you have to take time off work, I don't care if you have to tell your date or brother you can't go out with them for a few days, I don't care what the reason is -- GET IT DONE!!!.

Now for the why -- YOU are legally responsible for any debt until it's done. Meaning if she goes out and gets tons of credit cards and then decides not to pay them, guess who they'll be coming after? Any debt at this point is 1/2 your responsibility until the paperwork is in place that says otherwise.

Also, don't make the mistake I did and assume you get along great and she'd never do something like this. My ex and I got along better after our divorce than we did the last 3 years of our marriage. Unfortunately, she decided I had something she wanted and broke down my door to get it. She was arrested but the results weren't pretty and I got the worst end of the deal (if you want details, contact me privately).
 ezrider91
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 19
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:56:15 AM
Get some BALLS and do the paper work and move on Let your wife have a life already and hope see does not get a good lawyer and clean your ass out
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 20
sticky situation
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:20:59 AM
Well somewhere along the way some lies are being told.

IF the poster is a woman, as the profile states, she is NOT married. So getting some balls isn't going to fix anything. At best, OPie might have a domestic-partner registration that is similar to civil unions in other states. But as far as I know, adultery does not apply to civil unions.

At the height another poster mentioned, 6'2", I suppose we could have a transgendered domestic-partner registration going on. . . .

But yanno? At this point, I don't think I give a rat's azz. . . .

 gadixie
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 21
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History
sticky situation
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:15:17 AM
Well I feel you have had enough time and yes it is still adultry.
I think you dont want to file because at that pointe she may just do what you are doing now. If you would give up the brother fun and the woman fun just for a bit, you could get it done. It cost to go out and date even if it is a one night stand. Buckle down and save that money and file. If neither are contesting it dosnt cost alot.
I am proud of her for honoring the marriage vows, not many people do anymore.
They dont try and figure out and learn from what went wrong but do just what you are doing, go out and find a replacement before they are even divorced. That is usually on both sides.
I am with your wife, until it is final you still made that vow. People give up to easy.
When your brother finds another and decides he dosnt need you to rely on anymore, you are the one that is going to be alone. I hope he is willing to give up his relationship for you. I would not let my brother ruin my relationship. Family needs help sometimes but only for a couple of months til they can get on their feet then it is time for them to go. If they are causing trouble it would be sooner. I would not leave because my brother had to go. She did not say yes to marrying you both.
I feel for you if your poor brother finds another and your left alone with your one night stands.
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