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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
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 mindmyownbusiness
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 226
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 10 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Must be the kind of women you date
 topjack
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 227
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:36:50 PM

In the end, though, the biggest joy in life is in making someone else happy.


Have you tried volunteer work? Charity work? You can do those things alone you know! There are always charities, especially with it being the Holiday Season, looking for assistance.

You won't be alone (Solves problem #1)
You'll be making others happy (Solves problem #2)
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 228
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:47:02 PM
You're right. There is volunteer work and I do volunteer and enjoy it very much.

What I was talking about was the "desperation" thing which the OP asked about. My point that I was trying to put through was, that it's not desperation at all. It's just a natural tendency for a woman to want to be with a man and vice versa. I think very few are "desperate". It's more like a preference than a "desperate need" to fill. IMO
 mochawoman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 229
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 5:37:17 PM
I rather eat crushed glass, myself.
 Woodstar
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 230
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:14:19 PM
Timetripper...post #228.

LDS is Mormon. He says it on his interest list. Mormons who are divorced/widowed/single and over a certain age attend dances and social functions that are called "Special Interest".

They are wayyyyyyyy into getting married. Its the PRIME DIRECTIVE and coming up close behind is to procreate.

So, this is my hunch. He stated he had not met these women on line. Soooo, I'm thinking he met them at a church function.

I'm telling you....its imperitive to be married if you are of this path.

So, I'm guessing thats why he thinks he's so hot and has women dropping at his feet.

If this is way to much info...mea cuppa.

Married again...not on my list of great things to do. Co habitate, share a life, share love? Sure...just don't see the need for the certificate.
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 231
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:23:53 AM
Coincidently a co-worker cut this out and left it on my desk with a huge LOL taped to it... and being this is why we no longer want to marry I had to share this...

Printed From Good House Keeping Magazine, May 13, 1955

THE GOOD WIFES GUIDE....

* Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs.

* Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when hje arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may nees a lift and one of your little duties is to provide it.

* Clear away the clutter: Make one last sweep through the main part of the hiuse just before he arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc... and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

* During the cooler months of the year you should prepare a light fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too... After all, caring for his comfort will provide you with emmence personal satisfaction.

* Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the childrens hands and face, comb their hair and if necessary change their cloths. They are little treasures and he would want to see them playing that part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise by turning off the washer, dryer, vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

* Be HAPPY to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and loving hug. Be sincere in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him. You may have a 100 things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Allow him to talk first, remember HIS topics of conversation are MORE important then yours.

* Make the evening his. NEVER complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other entertaining places without him.. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure anmd his very real need to be at home to relax.

* Your goal: Make sure HIS home is a place of peace, order and tranquility. Where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

* Dont greet him with complaints and problems.

* Dont complain if he is late or even stays out all night. Count this as a minor, compared to what he may have gone through all day.

* Make him comfortable. Gave him lean back in his favorite chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool/warm drink ready for him.

* Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.

* Dont ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. REMEMBER he is the master of the house and as such will always excercize his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have NO right to question him.

And last but not least.....

* A good wife ALWAYS knows her place........

( Im speechless....lol) So now I will sit back and watch the replies roll on in.......

Have a great day all!! And ladies... REMEMBER YOUR PLACE!!
 friendlyldy
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 232
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:41:03 AM
Oh, sh*t! Now I really feel OLD...........I actually do all but about five of those things!

And I was a women's libber who worked all my life!
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 233
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 6:30:24 AM
I rather eat crushed glass, myself.

I think mocha makes a very good point here for some of us. I never had that type of sensitive loving wanna do everything for someone else type of relationship (or maybe I'd still be married.) What I had was H*ll on earth! Can't miss what you never had! Long for..perhaps..be "desperate" to get..never! Sorry you "lost" that lstar..but it's not always easy to relate to others about our past relationships. Especially if you never really had that warm fuzzy type of husband/boyfriend/lover.

WOW!! What date was that Guide from? The 40's..50's?? Sounds like something I was "forced" into by my ex! That's why he's my ex!!!
 Tarelle
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 234
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 11:12:04 AM
I'm sure that you've heard this before but I am in my forties and am definitely not in any rush to get married. I've been there, done that and don't really want to go through that again anytime soon.
It's funny because after being burnt one too many times over the years I opted to stay competely out of the dating field for a few years. I'm just not thinking that it might be time to get back out there. I can tell you that if some man started talking marriage to me that soon...I would run in the opposite direction too.

Tarelle
 Maddie51
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 235
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 11:55:05 AM
Dear Addicted:

Since I do not know about the women you are meeting, I can only speak for myself and the women I know and call my friends or acquaintances. Most women over 40 are NOT really desperate to get married again. We have jobs, our own homes, family, friends, et-cetera, and we are on dating sites because most men cannot deal with an independent woman.

Granted, I am sure there are some women out there hoping to meet "Mr. Right" for companionship/security or whatever, and that is fine.

Anyway, just my 2 cents.
 49andkickin
Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 236
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 2:19:13 PM
I have not ever responded to any forum thing before but I guess part of this sort of got to me. Yes some men are pigs, though I do not consider myself part of that percentage. In my former marriage I cleaned, laundry, mowed, fixed and ohhhh yes I worked to support us while she pursued an education (never finished) and other outside interests. And then I gave her a nice going away present too.
Sorry bearwoman, this is not an exclusive thing of "men only".
Also, by in large some women look at marriage as something desired, not all but some.
me
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 237
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 2:44:35 PM
THE GOOD WIFES GUIDE....

I remember when I was in high school back in the 50's, they were teaching these things in Home Economics class. My grandmothers and mom said same thing.

While some of these things sound really ridiculous the way things are now, back then, they made a lot of sense, and fit for almost everybody "back then". My 47-yr old daughter just gets a chuckle out of it.

OT: There's a lot of reasons nowadays why women have mixed feelings about getting married. Many want to keep what they have for their children without complicating legal issues (just like guys do), and they see husbands leaving to pursue younger, etc.

The experts (whoever they are) say that since women are now experiencing the stress of working outside the home as well as the men, that the death rates for the sexes will even out more in the future. That means the man:woman ratio will be much more favorable for women then it is now. Then, I wonder who will be more desperate? Supply - Demand
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 238
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 2:59:56 PM
Now I know why they are called "THE GOOD OLD DAYS" !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 knipknip
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 239
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 3:25:55 PM

indigo rose:::: We are? I am thinking you must have something that doesn't show
I am not sure why women over forty want to marry you??? Are you loaded?
Maybe you throw out the challenge...let me gander at your profile..brb..
Maybe it is the cute little way you slouch???


that is exactly what I thought!..
 SimplySweet45
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 240
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 4:00:59 PM

A good wife ALWAYS knows her place


Thats the only thing I agree with and our place is NOT to do anything on that list.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 241
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 4:35:30 PM
I thought a woman's place was in the house, or the senate and if Hillary has her way ---in the big house---no I am not pushing politics--just a sad attempt at humor.
 travel_theworld
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 242
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 5:52:40 PM
Yes and a men's place in the kichen... Have you guys seen hot guys that cook?

I seen a funny card the other day... What is a dream man for a woman over 40?
The answer a man who does the disces!
I agree.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 243
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 7:32:54 AM

Are you insane? Most women over 40 would rather be ran over by a bus, first!
LOL! well, I'm WAY over 40 so I'd rather be hit by 2 buses! But in all honesty, have you considered it might be a more genteel way of saying she wants regular sex, and lots of it??? Ya know, like maybe on Tuesday morning, and Wednesday night....and NOT just on Saturday date night? I mean seriously...by age 40, she's not wanting to start a family, she's got a home, and a job, car, she'd learned how to change a lightbulb and probably even knows how to fix the kitchen faucet....dude, let's face it....what's left for you to do?
 Annette050
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 244
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:34:30 PM
LOL LOL.....I was married for 23yrs !!! Why in heavens name would I ever want to do that again. I love the fact I can go home after a date or long week-end and have alone time. I love the fact that there is no one over my shoulder 24/7. Living together even gives me the shivers. LOL
 pazoozoo
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 245
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:44:29 PM
I feel almost guilty about what I'm going to type. I absolutely loved being married. If I could have my husband back, I would jump at the chance to be married again. Otherwise, I'm not too sure about the whole thing. From what I can see of men today, I think I had the last really good one.
 Twisted Sister
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 246
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:50:31 PM
I'm another one who doesn't want to get married. The "M" word causes me to RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!!
 friendlyldy
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 247
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 7:39:40 PM
I'm not desperate to get married again but I have to admit that I loved being married. We did crazy things like setting the clocks back so we could put the kids to bed early and dropped water balloons on them.........We had FUN.........We didn't have a lot of money or a fancy house but we had a lot of great laughs and we always put the kids with a babysitter on Friday nights and went out so we could have time for each other.
And the sex? Great..........we really loved each other and it's always good when there's love like that.

When I was a kid, people would ask me what I wanted to do when I grew up and I used to say that I wanted to get married and have six kids, go back to work to put them through college, and then retire with my husband, watch grandkids, and travel with by best friend, my husband........ Guess what? I still want that........it just didn't work out that way!!!

I wouldn't marry someone just to be married but if I ever found love like that again, I would marry in a heartbeat.......... Okay, now you can flame me......
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 248
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 7:53:28 PM
Well friendly..no flames from me. Just sorry things didn't work out for you and your ex. I'm sure that's what all of us wanted at one time. I never had all that with my ex..and it's hard for me to relate to those who did. As I said..I had the marriage from h*ll..abused. I like my freedom now and would find it very hard to even think about marriage. Even the thought of living with a man sends shivers up my spine too. Dating on the weekend or a long weekend with a man is great..but..I too feel it's best to come home to my own house..put my feet up on the coffee table and go...ahhhhhhhhh!!! Peace..and..quiet!!!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 249
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/9/2007 10:24:51 PM
LOL! Hugs friendlyldy....would never flame you! I think you're becoming my new Shero! LOL!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 250
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:57:51 AM
I find myself wondering if the ones that are so incredibly adamant that they would never get married again really hated being married or was it going through the end of the marriage and ultimately the divorce that has tainted the entire marriage in their minds.

In some small way that is what happened to me but I can remember that up to the point when things started to unravel I was happy in my marriage the problem for me was that the decline and the process of ending lasted longer than the happy years and those happy years weren’t even as many as our courtship .

Even with that I would never count out the possibility. I am just not holding my breath as it were and it really isn’t because of my fear but I have just accepted that it appears so many men out there are not as inclined these days so there is no point in getting your hopes up as far as ever being a Mrs. again.

I wouldn’t say I have settled on the fact that I would be in a long term relationship with someone I was just “passing time with” vs. being with someone that I truly adored I would say that I have “settled” on the possibility that the majority of men in my age group and older would never ask.

There are some people young and older having long term happily unwedded bliss. Since I am at a point where having children isn’t really an option anymore it doesn’t have the same negative implications in my mind. I do however think it is a shame that marriage seems to be such a horrible thought these days for so many people.
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