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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
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 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 226
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 10 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Bottom line is that for woman over 40 (most of us, anyway) a man would be in our life because we want him there, not because we need him there.
 great_kahuna
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 227
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:15:26 PM
outofthedesert


Can't speak for the rest of the women here, but in my personal experience: Marriage = that institution where you get to pay 75% of the bills, do 95% of the housework and still can't get laid! Yup, I'd have to say it was the entire marriage.]/ GrandmaBooBoo, we may be ex-wives-in-law!


yea right.....I payed 100% of the bills , worked my butt of on 2 jobs, she still got laid and she still dumped me.
So you see, it's not just a woman thing to get craped on.

Kahuna
 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 228
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:27:40 PM
Kahuna, I was the one with the steady job during the marriage and I got all the bills in the divorce and he tried to walk away with my retirement. It is not just men who get crapped on in the divorce. Fortunately the judge awarded me the the equity in the house to apply towards the bills. There was $10,000 left which I have worked to finally pay off. Did I do anything wrong? No he was disabled the last years of the marriage and I was treated like a working husband with a stay-at-home wife (before I get letters, I know that is not always the case). Am I bitter, NO! He and I speak and get along fine--go back --NO. Bottom line, don't think for one second you sat under the crap pile alone--I just chose to climb out of it and find the flowers on the top of it.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 229
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:40:42 PM
"I just chose to climb out of it and find the flowers on the top of it. "

The above is the #1 reason that most women aren't desperate to do anything including marriage. Happy people simply don't have a desperate bone in their body. Thank God there are men who are the same way.
 great_kahuna
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 230
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 3:31:42 AM
redarcangel ....my dear you are quite wrong ....I just answered to to poster who got a raw deal. Bitter??? not really, I got over it 30 years ago.
Kahuna
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 231
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 7:50:53 AM
There are people who are desperately bitter either to marry or to bash the opposite sex. I am thankful that I learn lessons at a very young age that have given me person peace whether or not I have an s/o in my life.

We can bash how desperate/bitter the opposite sex is, but the best solution is to be happy within outselves. That way the marriage question doesn't matter one way or another.
 SassySky
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 232
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:40:45 AM
OP , I am sorry but to me it just seems the opposite in exerience..
I mean.. I have dated men after the 3rd date they start talking about us as a couple and moving in together..
I personally like my life just fine the way it is. IF I meet someone, that is great, but I am not going to dwell on it.
 great_kahuna
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 233
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:48:56 AM
redarcangel ....thanks for the apology, but there was really no need for it. Maybe my posts are just interpreted wrongly. I just stated a fact that men, in this case myself, are crapped on too. And I am not saying that it was'nt 50% my fault . The problem with a Forum like this , is that one never really knows the other person.

Kahuna

PS: and even after several relationships, after my divorce, which did not work out , I don't think I am "bitter"......just pissed off a little sometimes.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 234
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 2:12:46 PM
Kahuna, no one was slamming you--but we were simply trying to indicate that sometimes in a marriage/divorce--women get the shaft and men get the goldmine.
 great_kahuna
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 235
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 3:43:12 PM
I did'nt think you were....just made a statement.

But if anyone would have "slammed " me for no reason , you would have heard about it.

Kahuna
 Wherefore Art Thou?
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 236
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:47:50 PM
Ahem. I couldn't resist copying this from Yahoo News today:
Senior singletons revel in their freedom: study

By Paul Majendie Thu Nov 15, 11:39 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - Women over 60 feel much healthier and happier living alone and revel in their lifestyle as so-called senior singletons, a study showed on Thursday.
ADVERTISEMENT

A classic example was 79-year-old former Bond girl and "Avengers" TV star Honor Blackman who said: "What I've learnt from my two marriages and divorces is that I'm not much good at living with other people."

The study, funded by the Economic and Social Research Council, looked at the growing social and health implications of people living alone -- Britain now has more people aged over 60 than it does children.

"In England, older women rated their health better if they lived alone," the study concluded.

The twilight years were being enjoyed with gusto by legions of latter-day Bridget Joneses.

Once alone, their relief was palpable, especially if they had spent years looking after ailing husbands.

"In England and Wales, older women living alone reported better self-rated health than married women of the same age," said Professor Emily Grundy of the Centre for Population Studies at the London School of Hygiene and Medicine.

"One reason might be that some of the married older women may have caring responsibilities for their spouses which might affect their self-rated health," Grundy said.

The older generation in Northern Europe were generally more content with their lot, the study also found.

"Older people in Scandinavia were happier than in other regions of Europe. In Scandinavia, there are generous welfare systems," said Grundy, whose centre conducted the research for the Economic and Social Research Council.

The Daily Telegraph newspaper picked Honor Blackman as a perfect case study to illustrate the report with the actress confessing that life with one love forever could be a trifle tedious.

"I suppose it must be possible to be faithful in a long-term relationship, I cannot imagine how you could do it though. And I'm not sure I'd want it actually. Wouldn't it be a bit dull?"

(Editing by Paul Casciato, Reuters Messaging):
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 237
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:12:15 PM

Maybe my posts are just interpreted wrongly.
LOL, yup, I've interpreted Kahuna wrongly....and found out that he's an ok kinda guy. (just don't let it go to yer head, ok?) LOL! Hey, are jokes allowed here?

If a man says something, and there's no woman around to hear it....is he STILL wrong? LOL! (just thought we could use an entertainment break)
 WearRed
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 238
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:40:04 PM
Most of the women over 40 are not desperate to get married, for the most part we were married before so.... It is you who have been picked the few desperate ones, just that.
 midnight chatter
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 239
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:02:00 PM
Maybe you are so hot they cant control themselves.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 240
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:05:23 AM
Let me think:

You are addicted to Chaos and your profile clearly states you want a short term only. Run, Forestina, Run.

Maybe they think you could be the latest project and they could just be the one to change you. Perhaps they assume you might change your mind.

If you truly have no intention of getting married change "want short term only" to "I just want a roll in the hay and I have no intention in he!! of ever marrying you. If you can get down with that, then I am your man". That will get the point across to alot, but a few can't read clear statements much less between the lines.
 CallmeJewels
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 241
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:17:17 PM
I do want to get married again.

After 2, 4 months is way too fast for me! I am much more cautious this time around.
 MarriageMinded55
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 242
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:19:38 AM
Women over 40 are desperate to get married? You sure could have fooled me, I thought that they didn't want to get married. Actually I'm the one who is desperate to get married, I can't find any woman in the NY area who wants marriage and I'm talking about women over 50.

No offense but too bad that one of those women didn't try to "rush" me into marriage because you'd see two very happy people right now; myself and that woman (who would now be my wife).
 candylily765
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 243
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:11:47 PM

I like my freedom now and would find it very hard to even think about marriage. Even the thought of living with a man sends shivers up my spine too. Dating on the weekend or a long weekend with a man is great..but..I too feel it's best to come home to my own house..put my feet up on the coffee table and go...ahhhhhhhhh!!! Peace..and..quiet!!!

That's exactly the way I look at it, Redcarangel. I love spending long weekends with a guy I care about, but I have no real desire to live with anyone. I would have to be totally and completely out-of-my-mind crazy about someone before I could imagine even considering the possibility of marriage again and I would still be hesitant. Marriage is ideal when you're young and wanting to have and raise kids, but I'm not sure what the appeal is when that's no longer a consideration. I truly wish my husband hadn't allowed his alcoholism to destroy our marriage. It eventually caused his death exactly one year ago today but I had already left him 5 years earlier. I could have stayed happily married forever if he had stopped drinking and I went into it with that intention, but it didn't work out that way and marriage is a very scary word to me now.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 244
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:15:33 PM
Because they know they are (getting) old and many men their age prefer younger women and they resent that.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 245
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:25:42 PM
C'mon Fred...get off the pot! Such an old tune to be played for sure!
I see a lot of gals saying they would love nothing more than to spend a luxurious, sensual weekend with a man. No marriage mentioned at all! I have to ask? Just what is wrong with that pic? Freddy? You wouldn't love a weekend such as I described? Without the pressure of a lady saying show me the ring first???
 ENKINDLEME
Joined: 2/1/2008
Msg: 246
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 1:54:13 PM
That problem is not gender specific. There are men out there who want things from women at times we may not wish to provide to them. I suppose some women could ask the question, "why are men so desparate for sex?" At your age, you are going to meet women who are mature and ready to be settled in life. If you want a playmate...maybe try the local brothal?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 247
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:14:08 PM
There are both men and women who are desperate to get married, and some that are just desperate for anyone to be in their lives.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 248
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 4:51:43 PM
I didnt know I was desperate to get married. Here I thought I was holding down a full time job, raising children on my own, living my full, busy life. Thanks for telling me this.
 MarriageMinded55
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 249
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 4:59:06 PM
Moraima,

Really?

I don't think that there is even one single woman over 45 in NY who is truly desperate to get married.

I would have found her or she would have found me if it were so because I am desperate to get married and I don't hide it.
 Guesswhoo
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 250
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 5:18:19 PM
I wonder if 2 desperates would get along well? *humm*
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