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 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 251
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 11 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
LOL! Hugs friendlyldy....would never flame you! I think you're becoming my new Shero! LOL!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 252
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:57:51 AM
I find myself wondering if the ones that are so incredibly adamant that they would never get married again really hated being married or was it going through the end of the marriage and ultimately the divorce that has tainted the entire marriage in their minds.

In some small way that is what happened to me but I can remember that up to the point when things started to unravel I was happy in my marriage the problem for me was that the decline and the process of ending lasted longer than the happy years and those happy years weren’t even as many as our courtship .

Even with that I would never count out the possibility. I am just not holding my breath as it were and it really isn’t because of my fear but I have just accepted that it appears so many men out there are not as inclined these days so there is no point in getting your hopes up as far as ever being a Mrs. again.

I wouldn’t say I have settled on the fact that I would be in a long term relationship with someone I was just “passing time with” vs. being with someone that I truly adored I would say that I have “settled” on the possibility that the majority of men in my age group and older would never ask.

There are some people young and older having long term happily unwedded bliss. Since I am at a point where having children isn’t really an option anymore it doesn’t have the same negative implications in my mind. I do however think it is a shame that marriage seems to be such a horrible thought these days for so many people.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 253
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:02:21 AM

I find myself wondering if the ones that are so incredibly adamant that they would never get married again really hated being married or was it going through the end of the marriage and ultimately the divorce that has tainted the entire marriage in their minds.
Can't speak for the rest of the women here, but in my personal experience: Marriage = that institution where you get to pay 75% of the bills, do 95% of the housework and still can't get laid! Yup, I'd have to say it was the entire marriage.
 petitebell
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 254
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:36:06 AM
Good answer!
The way some men, jump to conclusions is so infuriating! omg, leave a toothbrush at your place...or would like to see you again.. or smile too much...we want to marry you? what egos some have! give me a break! if you aren't sincerely interested in us, there's plenty of other men that we are blocking who would give their right arm to have us. So, wake up and smell the roses... as my dad once said, anyone... and i do mean... anyone can get married....if that was all we are looking for...

Do not catergorize ! Life's too short for such bull!

I have the cheerleader type personality.. and smile most the time..but, when i'm out with a man, i have to watch smiling too much...otherwise, they assume you're in love!
Give me a break, geeeeeeeee!

And, if i don't like someone, totally uninterested, i can't get rid of them.

and, it's funny how it's ok for a man to talk about us maybe having a future together... and the first time you say something, no matter how minut... they get scared, want to run, cause they take it as you're ready to get married.

Give me a break! Maybe, we just mean we would like to spend more time with you to see where it may go. Oh, and if we're too available, sweet, kind, loving, we're too needy. If we aren't, we are just called ****es playing games with your mind.

i am by no means in a rush to get married, had my kids, so why would i be rushing?
have a home and i'm happy, most the time ... but of course, i would enjoy, the company, of just one man... instead of trying to remember everything about all these other guys... and just settle into some kind of routine with someone that wants and enjoys seeing me as much as i do them...
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 255
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/10/2007 8:55:04 AM
You got it right there Peitebell;

[ and just settle into some kind of routine with someone that wants and enjoys seeing me as much as i do them...]

No attatchments guaranteed! Just ONE on ONE dating!
 NiceFish2008
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 256
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/10/2007 10:34:57 PM
I cant help you understand because your "Addicted_2_Chaos" but as a 21 years old man, I do understand why they want to get married. They want to have a lovely life with a lovely family, whats so hard to understand about it.
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 257
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 5:51:09 AM
21 is UNDERSTANDABLE...... all young and starry eyed.....

Come back and post in about 20 yrs and tell us if that twinkle is still there.... or better yet.. if the twinkle is still there for your own wife... lol

Have a great Sunday all.

JJ
 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 258
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:11:51 AM
[Can't speak for the rest of the women here, but in my personal experience: Marriage = that institution where you get to pay 75% of the bills, do 95% of the housework and still can't get laid! Yup, I'd have to say it was the entire marriage.]/ GrandmaBooBoo, we may be ex-wives-in-law!
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 259
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:58:08 AM
Let me see my Daughter just moved out a year ago. Great life. Go and come as I please. My house is now clean. I cook when I want eat when I want. I buy all the clothes my heart desires. I have quiet in the morning. Take trips and enjoy life. go out and stay to long. Excerise all day long.............My Daughter tells me I have turned into a teenager. I love life. If I find someone that we both fit into each other's life styles that would be great. But honestly I haven't even thought that far. I am having the time of my life and am not looking for anyone to full fill me. Now that being said if I meant someone that enhanced my life maybe then.........but right now for the first time in a very very very long time I feel young again and I am loving it.
Smiles Blue
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 260
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:08:55 AM
We know what a great time we are having. A time that would be hard to give up even for the right man. Those who haven't yet become comfortable as singles resent us, because they just don't get us. They assume that because they need to be with someone, so does even one else. Marriage.................most doubtful thank you.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 261
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 9:27:36 AM
Outofthedesert!
GrandmaBooBoo, we may be ex-wives-in-law!
You have my sympathies then hon! LOL! And people thought I was joking when I said my "biggest baby" was 64! LOL!

Message 282:
They assume that because they need to be with someone, so does even one else.
BINGO, they're finding desperate women, because they're SEEKING only desperate women!
 cookinggal111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 262
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 10:20:46 AM
I am far from being desperate to get married. I am enjoying my current lifestyle. If I happen to meet a great man, that's cool. But I don't need to be married or have a boyfriend to be happy.
 wrobt
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 263
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:20:23 PM
I'VE RUN INTO THAT WITH YOUNGER WOMEN, BUT NONE OVER 30. THE OLDER WOMEN DON'T NEED US TO HELP THEM SURVIVE, THEY DO VERY WELL ON THERE OWN. THE TAKE PRIDE IN THEMSELVES, AND DARN WELL SHOULD. MAYBE THE WOMEN YOU MET WERE LYING ABOUT THEIR AGE. OR YOU JUMPED TO THE WRONG CONCLUSIONS
 yknotpickme
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 264
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:26:49 PM
Awwwww! You must just be so cute, they cant help their little old selves. After all the emails from the "cougar hunters" you must seem like a breath of fresh air.
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 265
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:07:15 PM

They assume that because they need to be with someone, so does even one else


There are people, regardless of age who think they need to be with someone to be complete. I can't say which is right or wrong, but I have seen it throughout my life. Actually my ex was that way, and it didn't take him long to remarry. I am happy being by myself and never had that feeling that I have to have a SO to be happy and complete.

JMO
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 266
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:24:01 PM
You got that right Ageless..

I just had to relay to my nephew..that a woman on this site that he jumped into the "we're engaged" category after 2 months of dating/living with her..the day his LAST girlfriend moved out..happiness doesn't come from another person..it has to come from within. He told me she makes him happy for once in his life..if I could count the times he's said that! I doubt what ever I have to say will make a difference to him right now..but..I know a year or two from now..it will! This will mean the woman will be on her third marriage..and she's just over 30..with 4 kids! He has none. Young and foolish!
 im2cuteferu
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 267
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 7:12:02 AM

I had to break things off after a short period (2 mos and 4 mos) because 2 of them assumed we were next at the marriage altar. This was without hints, discussions, or talking about this subject.

But you did have the sex, right?
 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 268
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:42:13 PM
Bottom line is that for woman over 40 (most of us, anyway) a man would be in our life because we want him there, not because we need him there.
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 269
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:48:57 PM
Perfecctly stated outof the desert! Here..here!
 great_kahuna
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 270
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:15:26 PM
outofthedesert


Can't speak for the rest of the women here, but in my personal experience: Marriage = that institution where you get to pay 75% of the bills, do 95% of the housework and still can't get laid! Yup, I'd have to say it was the entire marriage.]/ GrandmaBooBoo, we may be ex-wives-in-law!


yea right.....I payed 100% of the bills , worked my butt of on 2 jobs, she still got laid and she still dumped me.
So you see, it's not just a woman thing to get craped on.

Kahuna
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 271
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:31:06 PM
Great Kahuna..a little bitter? Selfishness and arrogance of ALL the women on the forum? Yes..I took the time to read your profile. If I didn't know a victim when I see them..I'd be insulted. Acting out on your feelings of bitterness from your lost marriage isn't the way to cinch any "new" relationship of any type. Bitter is never better.
You may very well have gotten a bashing by your ex..and that is something alot of us..male and female can relate too. However..bashing all women back for what one did to you..or for strongly opinionated women that know their mind..and/or what they want..or expect to have with hope and luck someday..is just as wrong. I hope you can find it in your heart to be able to move on..if you can't forgive and forget.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 272
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:27:40 PM
Kahuna, I was the one with the steady job during the marriage and I got all the bills in the divorce and he tried to walk away with my retirement. It is not just men who get crapped on in the divorce. Fortunately the judge awarded me the the equity in the house to apply towards the bills. There was $10,000 left which I have worked to finally pay off. Did I do anything wrong? No he was disabled the last years of the marriage and I was treated like a working husband with a stay-at-home wife (before I get letters, I know that is not always the case). Am I bitter, NO! He and I speak and get along fine--go back --NO. Bottom line, don't think for one second you sat under the crap pile alone--I just chose to climb out of it and find the flowers on the top of it.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 273
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:40:42 PM
"I just chose to climb out of it and find the flowers on the top of it. "

The above is the #1 reason that most women aren't desperate to do anything including marriage. Happy people simply don't have a desperate bone in their body. Thank God there are men who are the same way.
 great_kahuna
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 274
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 3:31:42 AM
redarcangel ....my dear you are quite wrong ....I just answered to to poster who got a raw deal. Bitter??? not really, I got over it 30 years ago.
Kahuna
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 275
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/13/2007 7:50:53 AM
There are people who are desperately bitter either to marry or to bash the opposite sex. I am thankful that I learn lessons at a very young age that have given me person peace whether or not I have an s/o in my life.

We can bash how desperate/bitter the opposite sex is, but the best solution is to be happy within outselves. That way the marriage question doesn't matter one way or another.
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