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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 rosebuds57
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 251
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 11 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
I would love to be in a loving, stable and permanent relationship....be it with or without a legal document that states we are married. The KEY words are loving, and stable. I have been married twice and unfortunately, neither was very loving or stable, so I'm not so desperate to tie the knot again. I've been divorced for almost 12 years now, with only one LTR since the divorce, so I guess I'm not too desparate.

I really would like to find my last love and spend the rest of my days here on earth being his one and only, but I'm not so sure that it is possible in this day to achieve that.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 252
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 7:13:06 PM
If they were, there wouldn't be so many "nice guys finish last" threads on this board. . . .


 southernlass
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 253
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/2/2008 9:38:23 PM
Marriage Minded 55 said in post 311:

Women over 40 are desperate to get married? You sure could have fooled me, I thought that they didn't want to get married. Actually I'm the one who is desperate to get married, I can't find any woman in the NY area who wants marriage and I'm talking about women over 50.


You sound like a real sweetheart, hon. I'm really glad you made your desires known and suggest that you continue doing so on various other threads as well. One of these lovely ladies is going to see what you're writing and respond. Decent men that want to get married and create a life together are rare and special. I'm hoping the best for you and I do believe you will find what you're looking for soon. Blessings!

[If you can get a friend to take another picture of yourself that isn't blurry, I bet that would really help. You seem attractive but it's kind of hard to tell because your picture isn't very clear.]

Now onto the topic at hand:

Women are not desperate to get married unfortunately, at least obviously not desperate enough. If they were desperate, they would be excercising their noggins and playing extremely hard to get until an engagement ring was gleaming on their finger. If a woman wants a man to marry her and wants to land the kind of gentleman that will stand by her in a true partnership that will last the duration, she waits until he comes along and doesn't put out for anyone. She doesn't settle for the casual sex, serial monogamy- style relationships of today. She's far too smart for that.

Most women of my age have been around the block a little. They aren't stupid. And if they're not waiting with determination for what they want, they obviously really don't want to be married again for whatever their reasons.
 Exzetra
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 254
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 12:49:05 AM
Dear Chaos, you have 4 pix in a row. The 3rd pix doesn't look like you (it looks like my neighbour)black hair, dark beard, light blue shirt. 4th pix of you is of an overweight person (and you described yourself as average). And LDS is Latter Day Saints (Mormons). In your religion, people are supposed to be looking for marriage. You state in your profile that you want a short term relationship only. The 4 woman that you dated did not come from the POF dating site or they would have seen that line for certain. You need to speak plainly and tell the woman that you meet, that you only want a short term relationship (wham bam-thank you madame). There is a particular site in POF that perhaps will be of more benefit to you. I am in my 40's and I have never heard a lady in my age range, single/divorced, ever say that she wants to get married, except 1 (my children's nanny). She is of the mormon faith, and has already been married and divorced 5 times. And she wants a husband #6 because that is what your religion dictates. You can not, or are not supposed to, have sex outside of the institution of marriage. So perhaps you need to speak to an elder of your faith to help you figure out why you are confused about this issue. As I don't believe it's the women that are confused. Are you speaking with forked tongue or giving false messages? I like to go slow. I cherish my 'singlehood', relish a great companion, and keep the door open to marriage way-down-the-road. I have been divorced for 19 years. Good luck to you my dear, I believe you will need it.
 cdn*guy
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 255
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 12:56:55 AM
Women over 40 are so desperate to get married? Really ?? I haven’t found that at all – quite the opposite, actually. I’ve found, almost without exception, that women that I’ve dated over 40 are definitely not looking for marriage. How else would you explain every date I’ve been on, that the woman has said: “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth.” Obviously, most women are not looking to marry much anymore.

cdn guy
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 256
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 1:02:09 AM
What was that all about?

I cherish my 'singlehood',

As I'm sure men you meet are glad of that.

...keep the door open to marriage way-down-the-road.

Way way down the road.

Good luck to you my dear, I believe you will need it.

I believe you will need it.
 winernotreally
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 257
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:18:19 PM
really? How come nobody informed me? Damn! Missed the party, again.
 celebrtlife
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 258
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:25:10 PM
Whe are women over 40 so desperate to get married again? I didn't know that. Nor do my older female friends. I have a dear friend in her sixties. It took her man six years to get her to tie the knot. And they still didn't live in the same house until he became very sick. He passed away and she puts flowers on his grave every week.

Most of my female friends are older than me and none of us want to jump into marriage quick. They all just want the companionship. I'm just not there yet.

I guess you just got stuck with some desperate women. Why would they want to get married after dating such a short time?

Take heart OP There is a patient lady out there for you.
 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 259
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 5:08:32 PM
I do not intend to ever marry again, but my theory is, we are getting older, and the older we get the closer we are to loosing what it takes to catch a man. Does that make sense?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 260
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 5:15:39 PM
My question is just this???
What do ya do wif him once ya catch him???
Any fellow fishees know the answer to that one?
OT: I have pretty much settled with the fact that I don't wish to do it again. If I was a pro at it, would I be here? lol
Then again, I have been known to change my mind and do crazy things.....
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 261
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 6:15:18 PM

What do ya do wif him once ya catch him???
Any fellow fishees know the answer to that one?


...Oh when I catch him, I'll know what to do with him haha


...maeflowers
 earthen_magik
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 262
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 6:20:46 PM
Oh hell yeah - all I want in life is to share my space with a man I hardly know....

Pick up his dirty shorts and socks, do the dishes for both of us, etc etc. Funny thing is, if you ask many women who have been married for many years if they would do it again if their mate died, most say hell no. Perhaps YOU were giving off some sort of signals to these women. I like my space now...me thinks I am too old for the marriage stuff. Not saying I would not consider a LTR, but marriage? WHY?????


earthen
 oldsoul
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 263
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 10:19:28 PM
Most women I know are over 40 and none of them are interested in getting married, whether they're divorced or have never
been married before, including myself. So I really couldn't tell you OP why you keep running into over 40 year old women who
seem desperate to get married, but I would definitely change my dating pattern if I was you.



JMO
 Mitz BeeHaven
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 264
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/3/2008 11:01:42 PM
I guess I will be totally honest here. From what I have read in most forums.
Women over 40 want to marry, instead of date. I was surprised to read how
many women of my age group actually feels the way I do. No, I do not want to
marry again.

My guess would be, these women, were weak minded, low on funds, and looking
for a sugar daddy to provide them with the things they are to lazy to get for
themselves.

In other wards, most women who are pushing to marry, are definitely looking
for a man to take care of them, so they don't have to WORK!

There I said it.

I did not read your entire posts... not sure some else has not said this before me.
Sorry if someone else already did. Just be careful about the women you date.
 Lola and Her Honey
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 265
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/4/2008 6:08:06 AM
"Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?"

I haven’t found this to be the case at all amongst the women over 40 that I know. Most of them have no interest in even living with a man, let alone marrying one. They consider me somewhat of an oddity because I did want to live with my Honey, but we respect each others choices.


My guess would be, these women, were weak minded, low on funds, and looking for a sugar daddy to provide them with the things they are to lazy to get for
themselves.

In other wards, most women who are pushing to marry, are definitely looking
for a man to take care of them, so they don't have to WORK!


That’s a very broad, unfair and inaccurate generalization. Sure, there are women who are looking to marry to secure a meal ticket and someone to look after them, but there are many reasons why people decide they want to marry when they’re middle aged.

For some there are religious and cultural reasons.

Some have never had children and want them or want more and don’t want them to be born “out of wedlock”, and they also recognize that the longer they wait the higher the potential for problems in pregnancy and health problems or defects in the children they bear.

And some just feel that marriage is the highest level of commitment that two people can make to each other and they’re not going to feel that they have that in their relationship unless they are married.

Marriage is a huge step and it’s not something that should be rushed into, but I don’t think it’s bad or wrong for someone to want that, even if they're over 40.

IMO, if someone feels very strongly that they’re NOT marriage minded they should either indicate that in their profile or work it into a conversation within the first few dates. Very definitive goals for the future or beliefs about the type of relationship one is prepared to engage in, should always be brought up sooner rather than later. It can significantly affect whether or not someone wants to pursue a relationship with you.

I see the OP has indicated in his profile that he’s looking for short term relationships only. Is that a recent addition due to your predilection for attracting marriage minded females?

LH
 jtsha1958
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 266
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:28:09 AM
That is not a problem here in the sticks, the problem is finding someone who wants a serious long term relationship, all the women I have met are happy being single, or they have other "issues" that drive you keep looking for someone that is a match.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 267
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:05:17 AM
I'm 53 and getting married is the LAST THING I WANT TO DO.
 MarriageMinded55
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 268
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/5/2008 11:22:42 PM
Huntressy,

You said that well and I agree.
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 269
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:34:27 AM
Huntressy.
I agree very well said.
Im not after casual sex.
Will I marry again?
I honestly dont know.
At this stage No.
He would have to be Unique.
I dont need a man to make me happy, If Theres a man in my life, its because I want him in my life.
As someone else said its men wanting marriage not long after they meet you, or men that have to many issues. I enjoy my life, left the past behind years ago.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 270
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:44:10 AM
Your title to this thread is going to put women on the defensive right off the bat, what did you expect? A standing ovation for insulting us?

I am not desperate to get married again. Period.
However if he had a few million in the bank and one foot in the grave, and he didn't want a pre-nup....then I might just consider it! :~()
And thats a joke for all you humorless guys who want to attack me for being a gold digger! Lighten up!

SapphirePoet
 Chocolatebrowne
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 271
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:37:30 PM
Not I....The late great President Abraham freed the slaves a LONG time ago.....
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 272
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:14:36 PM
^^^

Yeah, well I was released from slavery 8 years ago and counting, and I am not desperate, unless maybe desperate to stay single.

I don't count marriage out, just that I feel really sick when I think about it.. I suppose if I fall in love again, I may change my mind.
 gjay1
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 273
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:07:32 PM
crikey!! i m not rushing anywhere to get married!! in fact there are a whole bunch of trusted friends ready to shoot me if i even look like rushing into any silly ideas like that lol
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 274
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 4:38:13 PM

You are so right! Just yesterday, I got three realy nasty letters, I done nothing wrong, just couldn't say to a person I love you and move straight away to you. Never seen that person, never even seen a picture, only letters. She kept writing me, my inbox was full every day. I had to stay all evening on the computer and write to her,as soon as I came back from work. I live alone and have things to do. Now she is getting jealous because there was a new picture in my friends space. I just can't exlpain it.



...I have one piece of advice for you


...maeflowers
 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 275
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 4:45:48 PM
Hahhah you are funny OP....
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