Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 276
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 12 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Come on now girls!
Maybe he is just really, really GOOD, ifn ya know what I am referrring to!!!

Has he ever come back to comment at all????
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 277
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:19:36 PM
I have ran into quite a few desperate woman they come in many forms. I could probably get married next week if I wanted to. On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think. It's one thing to say you're not desperate to get married and totally another to say you never want to get married again. That really is sad.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 278
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:32:51 PM
I would like to say differently...they don't care if they are married or not.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 279
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:53:02 PM
I thought I had my first bite. Read in detail profiles and what they say here. Many say they will never marry. I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without. Gloria Stinum, the original damaged woman, got married but she is still damaged.
 northernmiss2007
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 280
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:02:14 PM

On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think.


...Go ahead, and right underneath yours I'll start one asking the same question of the men. Works both ways.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 281
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:14:17 PM
^^^ Way to go Miss!
It most certainly does go both ways! The question the OP asked was regarding women. And the exact same thread could be posted regarding men with pretty much the same results.
I have no real desire to marry again. Matter o fact, really do not think I will the rate things are going. To say never? Well, let us just say it isn't in the cards in my forseeable future!
 PoeticBliss
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 282
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:54:43 PM
Well it depends upon the woman, her experiences and her needs at the time you met them but here are some valid reasons why SOME women over 40 are in a hurry to marry:

They're biological clock is ticking. They never had a chance for children/family and want to start ASAP.

They are getting older and are finding that the mating pool has become smaller and there are less options as a woman ages. Men tend to want younger women.

Theyre pissed off because they are from a different generation- or certainly caught in the generational gap- where marriage is still a valued goal. They are likely sensing (real or imagined) that you want a free ride ticket with no committment at all. Its hard for some women to accept that -- they dont want to live alone and this generation is incredibly dysfunctional. So you are getting some projection issues and baggage on top of that stresses a woman over 40 feels when trying to find a partner.

Sure its ok to feel like you want to take your time dating and you dont want to feel pushed or rushed-- but at the same time maybe your giving off a vibe that spells "I dont want a committment" and they go for the marriage chat to see where you really are and are pissed off becuase they figure theyve just wasted their time YET AGAIN.

Try to feel some empathy for women if you can.
 *Sanschele*
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 283
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:13:11 PM
Sorry OP , I missed that memo.

I'm too busy collecting 100 cats..and LIKIN' it!!

Seriously, OP..I'll be 50 in a few months and my life as a single woman is fantastic.

-I live on an island.
-I wear flip-flops year round or no shoes at all.
-I have 4 cats, an Egret and two to four feral cats to take care of.
-I'm financially stable.
-I know EVERYTHING about the water, tide tables, currents and how to take care of myself and my pets when a hurricane hits. (And the Coast Guard will call me out if they need back-up in bad weather..I just got that information today from my Flotilla Commander. now, how cool is that???)

I'm far from "desperate" to get married. Pfft!!

I take care of myself, my animals, my family and my true friends with a vengeance and I don't have to be married to anyone in order to accomplish that.

Sans


Sans
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 284
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:19:47 PM
Just goes to prove that No man is an island but some women live on them.
 *Sanschele*
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 285
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:25:06 PM
^^^^and proud of of it, dude. I made good choices, did you?

Thought not..you still live in Roanoke. I live in Florida. Alrighty, then.

So how is the weather up there in ole' Roanoke,VA? Cold? Where did you go to school, dude? UVA or VA tech in Blacksburg? I grew up in Roanoke, VA. lol

Yes..my mother is chased daily in Roanoke for being the "witch" that delivered the "devil child"..hehe

72 down here in Florida and climbing in fahrenheit.

And had I "gotten married again", I could never live the lifestyle I live now and it is so very, very good.

Sans
 Smilycynn
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 286
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:37:08 PM
Well I for one am not looking for marriage. In fact I am running from marriage. Sad to say I have been married and divorced three times and my whole outlook on marriage has drastically changed. I'm just looking for someone who wants to be with me and accepts me for who I am and take it one day at a time. Anyone out there like that?
 phenomenall88dy
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 287
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 10:05:35 PM
I have a feeling that you have been soundly spanked by not only the ladies but the gentlemen on this topic. Most mature ladies are looking for a secure man to spend quality time with. A man that can tickle their intelligence and their funny bone, but not their marriage bone. Statistics are that most women who don't remarry by the age of 35 will not because they are just so damn independent. However there are a few left out there .
 UrbanTO
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 288
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:51:51 AM
fixitfred


I have ran into quite a few desperate woman they come in many forms. I could probably get married next week if I wanted to. On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think. It's one thing to say you're not desperate to get married and totally another to say you never want to get married again. That really is sad.


Why is it sad? What really is the definition of marriage? Commitment? Will a ring and a piece of paper will make it any different than a loving, stable, respectful relationship would? I think when you're been put through the ringer, as a lot of MEN as well have been and they COULD be viewed as "damaged" you might think that way. I think it's reacting more than anything.

In my experience, I've encountered more "wanting to settle almost immediately" type of guys. And I could also get married next week if I wanted to. They were willing to go to the 3rd or 4th stage of the relationship almost immediately. Hang on I said... how about we learn about one another first? Response I got? "we're too old for that" I kid you not.

We all have our own experiences, it's not only women who can be like that, but men as well.
 Lovessstodance
Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 289
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:10:49 PM
Agree wholeheartedly. It depends on the person and the chemistry.
Life is good, I am in no hurry to get hitched. Sometimes we get desperate when we are in our twenties ,thirties and allow others to cross our boundaries and we choose to ignore the red flags. As I've gotten wiser and older my perspectives have changed. I am not cycnical, still hoping someone will excite me and it will be mutual. But I also have standards and wont just settle so I can be with someone...
Sometimes it would be nice to trust someone enough that they could help with decisions and companionship is wonderful. However, marriage, no not in a hurry.
 serolo77
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 290
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:35:44 PM
You should have stopped your post at, .......I know I cant paint all women with this brush....and stopped talking right there.
 MarriageMinded55
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 291
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:12:38 AM
I think that the OP was not complaining but was bragging in a way which looked like he was complaining to get attention (but was trying to impress by saying "look at me. So many women want to marry me right away, I must be a catch/a stud/very good looking/charismatic etc)...................Very juvenile, shows low confidence and high insecurity, best to ignore such people when they try to use you to boost their superficial type ego.

Sorry I revived this thread but I had taken that joker seriously.
 psunit
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 292
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:34:30 PM
Wait a minute...I'm not...what's wrong with that?
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 293
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:40:20 PM

I thought I had my first bite. Read in detail profiles and what they say here. Many say they will never marry. I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without. Gloria Stinum, the original damaged woman, got married but she is still damaged.
SAY WHAT????

I have no clue where you're getting your information, but a woman who does NOT want to marry is not catagorically "damaged". MY reasons for not wanting to marry are completely based on logic. It's no different than when I decided that I really don't need to go ice skating anymore! There's no advantage in it, and a whole lot of hassles for it. I absolutely adore men....I simply don't want the chore of raising another one. I'm sure many sane and reasonable men out there feel exactly the same way. They don't need my paycheck to pay the bills, they don't need a cook or a housekeeper, or a secretary...they don't need me to fix the toilet, or repair the roof, or do their laundry or shop for groceries. I have no earthly purpose (nor does a man) other than offering companionship and sex. Does that make HIM "damaged"??? I think NOT. Why think up a bunch of silly reasons for doing something really stupid just because SOME people think you have to want what THEY want or you're weird (damaged).
 labyrinths end
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 294
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:42:49 AM
lots of reasons
women might need financial security after a bad divorce
she may want a ring on her finger to validate her position as a desirable woman
most women want to belong to a man after a certain period goes by theyre beginning to feel the cold blow of old age approaching - even after they have sworn off marriage!
she wantsthe security - if something happens to you then all your stuff can go to her!
if you love her put your money where your mouth is
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 295
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 5:14:51 AM
We are , ARE We? hmmm..

I dont know about the rest of us women over 40, but personally speaking.... I want a man in my life, NOT necessarily in my house!
 Steven02151
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 296
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:17:12 PM
I've found women over 40 to be very ambivalent and a little wierd in that way. On the one hand, if they are professionally successful, there is no rush to marry for the most part. They lead full lives and men seem to be something that would have their "place" in it; although, I read a statistic that women over 45 have a 15% chance of successfully remarrying at that point. Women who are broke, however, are in a real rush, though.
You must be meeting women who aren't financially successful.

And yet, it seems all women size men up as a potential marriage partner. I don't understand that at all because I have never thought of any woman, ever, as a potential marriage partner until I was well into a relationship and it became an issure for us. I've chosen women to be with simply to have fun with, have a girlfriend to do things with, etc. and never considered anyone my be all and end all or even looked for that! How can anyone even think of that unless they were with someone for a year or two? My guess is that you were sized up as a potential marriage partner by the two and they just ran with that assumption without informing you and, there was an even chance that the other two did the same, though they ended for a different reason.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 297
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:00:45 PM
Well, you are probably picking women who want to get "attached", and maybe have not allowed themselves to be in the "dating game". Let me explain to you what my life is like. I date. One weekend I am riding on the back of Harley's with police officers in motorcycle clubs, the next week, I am racing cars around with another guy who loves to race, the next weekend I am inviiting a guy from my church to attend a Pampered Chef party, the next week, I am inviting a different one to a historical tour of old town, the next weekend, I am taking a self-defense course with a different guy. Next weekend I have a pistol-shooting competition ... let's see.... who would be suited for that? Probably that soldier I met when I worked out at the gym on the Army base. He gave me his card. You see what I'm getting at? I am fifty-four years old..... get the picture? Women have MUCH MORE VARIETY to choose from than men, because men are limited in the things they do. The women that you chose probably did not have the courage to get out and GET AROUND. Next weekend is game night at a senior's house that belongs to my church.... let's see... bingo, scrabble, poker, apples to apples, trivial pursuit? I asked my favorite boyfriend, but he had better answer quick, because if he drags his feet, I'm not sitting around and crying about it.
 sgettman
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 298
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:35:19 PM
Not all women over 40 are ready to get married. I don't want to get married again and I am having troubles finding someone who wants to be friends. So help me understand why every guy I talk to runs when I say no marriage. It is both ways.
 tableguy
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 299
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:52:50 PM
women are from venus men are from mars.as a man you see it one way,as a woman she sees it cmpletely another way.women are wired differently, they, for the most part are treated differently then a man .thats an enviormental issue.the older you get the more you realize that ,you both see things differently.somehow you still think that after many years and a few divorces that someone is still out there compromise ,to what extent or desperation and to what extent?i head, spark, chemistry, that moment,hmmm.what is going to keep you together and for how long and to what extent.remember we are older now and the kids flew the nest.compromise,maybe, but most now have a thicker skin and are willing to compromise alot less. as a matter of fact people are so busy looking for a problems they have encountered before,that they can't see the future. i see the word longterm.with my eyes open i cant see it,but with my eyes closed i can. again men are from mars women are from venus. oh there are some in between?
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 300
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/17/2008 4:21:50 AM

Women have MUCH MORE VARIETY to choose from than men, because men are limited in the things they do.
A BIG Thanks to smilee4u for saying this!!!

I once read (forgot the name of the book) that it takes 10 men to satisfy the passions/interests of 1 woman! It was many years ago that I read that comment and I'm not entirely certain that I was in total agreement with it at the time, but as years have gone by, I've come more and more to recognize the truth in the statement.

About 10 years ago I made the "New Years Resolution" that the following year, I was going to do at least 10 new things that I had never ever done before! It's no longer a "resolution", but rather just a philosophy. It doesn't have to be about "thrill seeking" either....trying new things can be something as simple as.....eating at restaurant you've never tried before. (My daughter and her boyfriend took me to a Sushi bar this summer). While both genders can be "boring", and both be "control freaks"....I think however that the nature of men tends more to lead them only along paths that they are sure of...that they can control...and where they are certain of their expertise.

I do think you've really put your finger on a big reason why women over 40 do NOT want to get married. I know that I have turned my nose up at some otherwise pretty great guys simply because of their lack of a sense of adventure. (willingness to try new and different things)
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?