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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Embarking on a journey
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 26
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 2 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
2 TO 4 MONTHS? Hmm.....correct me if I am wrong ladies but is that not the time when we figure out if "he's right for me or not". Most of us know by that time ;).

I must say Msg, 4,5,15,19,25 and 27.........thanks, I needed that ....

hmm, OP perhaps you really do need to take a workshop on clear communication. Your confusion perpetuates the "chaos" in your life. At least you are aware that it exists for you! Perhaps this thread is a blessing in disguise for you.
 Hopesangel402
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 27
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/15/2007 11:30:35 PM
Dear OP,

I am going to try to help you understand, that you Might of Been Blessed to
have found these 2 women. After reading your Profile, it clearly state's that
You think that you are loyal. Huge Red Flag!!! Among other things, that are on your Profile.
Several Red Flags.
I think the chances of finding women with this Attitude is very Slim if NOT
IMPOSSIBLE!!! I am in my 50's and the thought of getting married too any
man, right away, is not a No, but a Hell NO!!! I was married 31 years, and
Strongly Believed in Marriage. I can Honestly tell you, that your not going
to find many women that will want to Sign, that Piece of Paper Again. Let alone
Jump to sign that Paper. Without Knowing in her Heart that they have found
a Man that is Everything to Them. That takes Time!! I am looking for a Long
Term Relationship, but Marriage again is almost Impossible for me. Unless
I find a Perfect Match. Or what I would consider to be someone that was perfect
for Me. Women today are so Much Brighter and realize that they don't need to
Sign any Paper to find what they are looking for.
The National Statistic State the Biggest Decline in Marriage Ever, at this time.
To Sum this up, Jump at Marriage or Stand in Front of a Firing Squad.
Most would Jump In Front of the Firing Squad, Yelling Hurry Just Shoot Me!!
 BobbyMgee
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 28
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 12:33:36 AM
Im glad you said not all women. I am 41 and have no desires to EVER get married.
Have never been married. But its the same with men as well as with women.
If you are honest and straight forward as to what your wants are,maybe be easier to meet women that do not want to get married.We are out there.Having grown children though has nothing to do with a persons desires to want to be
married. I have kids....didnt make me want to......
 aims1225
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 29
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 12:39:21 AM
Wow...this has entirely been one of the most hilarious and entertaining posts I've seen in a long time. I actually made a cup of tea to sit down and really enjoy it when it started getting good. (Which was basically in the beginning when everyone started ragging on the poor guy who started the thread). Thanks y'all for the laugh, I needed that!
 carolanne 60
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 30
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 1:11:47 AM
To Addicted 2 chaos,
Only four women? MY! MY! They knew by reading your profile that you only wanted to date. Maybe your the one that started their assumptions of marriage on what you said to them to get them in bed. You are using these women for your own ego boosting. By the way your speaking, according to your profile, your short term future is perfectly clear to me. You like to be in control of a relationship by your own words "time out". If both women had children, why would they worry about their biological clock? Who wants more children when you raised them and their grown and gone. Date if you want, but don't lead these women on. Why don't you rewrite your profile and say, no marriage - only short time dating future.
 tmotts
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 31
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 2:31:18 AM
Believe me we are not all like that.
He would have to be amazing, and exactly what I am looking for in order for me to do that again.
Won't rule it out, but also won't rush into something I am not sure of either. Been there, done that. Next time I MARRY FOR LOVE.
Ultimately, I would love to share and spend my life with someone, but it would have to be something extraordinary for me to even consider it, otherwise it's not worth it. Second marraiges have a higher failure rate than first ones do. How scarey is that?

You must be an incredible catch, take it as a compliment, or change your whole approach.
 onlthelgo
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 32
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 2:34:50 AM
i'd like to hear what you ladies really think ... lol

dude, you lead with your face ... !!
 aNgeLiCbLoNdiE
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 33
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 3:48:54 AM

I know plenty of older women that do not want to rush to the alter including myself,your experience in older women is obviously limited (only 4) so please before you put another heading up have a little more experience will ya?,some of us are really fussy about finding the right partner.......you must have something they want I guess!!!.


why buy the cow when the milk is free has turned into:

when a woman wants a little sausage, why buy the pig that comes along with it?


key term you used " my short term future" << what on earth is that? sounds to me you are being vague. perhaps thats the problem. you wont even admit to yourself that what you are really looking for is no strings attachments that include sex. and hey if thats what your down for,, DO THAT,, just make sure you are very clear about it. i mean send absolutely no subliminals on this. if thats not what your in it for,, then maybe you need more clarity on what it is you actually do want.
excellent post!

everyone has a right to want what they want, vive la difference
 firstlight
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 34
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 3:51:14 AM
I have been married and divorced twice so I know better than to say never again; BUT I can not imagine ever wanting to get married again. I would like to meet someone I truly enjoyed and wanted to be with for the long term but as far as marriage or even co habitating? I don't think so. I am not against marriage. I think it is a wonderful institution, however I am not quite ready to be committed.
 jazzy73703
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 35
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:19:12 AM
I'm not. Its the exact opposite. I'm looking for a LTR without marriage and am having a difficult time finding a guy interested in something besides sex or marriage.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 36
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 5:05:00 AM
From the perpective of someone who has never been married, though I was in a commonlaw relationship years ago, I am in no hurry to run up the altar with the first quy that shows an interest in me. If, and it's a big If, I ever get married, it will be after taking the time to get to know one another on every level, not just intimately, and to see if we are compatible. I may be single, but I am by no means desperate, nor am I lonely!

OP, I think maybe it was simply a matter of either the choices you made in dating those women or that you may have misread their signals.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 37
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 5:58:41 AM
I don't know if I have another marriage in me or not. I don't rule it out, but the planets would have to be just perfectly in the right spot.

When I was still at the stage of getting to know my last LTR, I asked him if he could see himself remarrying. A few years later, he admitted that he had though at the time that I was asking him to marry me. It was simply a question, no different than do you want to do ............(whatever) again.

It could be fear that makes people so concerned about things that aren't happening yet or maybe ever.
 mostviper
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 38
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 6:56:10 AM
marry me..........
 Schadenfreudian
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 39
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:03:46 AM

you’re going to have to stretch your canvass a lot farther than that.
Mein frau, any time you want help stretching your canvass, I will see if I can juggle my calendar to make time.

Herr von S.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 40
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:11:55 AM
I had a gentleman who was widowed bring photograph albums of all his toy and assets to our first meet. He wanted to show me what I had to gain by marrying him asap

Except it isn't funny how desperate people look to fix their loneliness.

Needless to say there was no second date.
 jayeedublef
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 41
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:54:15 AM
Is that something you are proud of?
 11thhour
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 42
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:05:27 AM
Well ladies...OP hasn't been back...I think our work here is done!

 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 43
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:10:03 AM
After seeing OP user name, I think a lot of my questions about op's reason for the thread have been answered
 lalani
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 44
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:32:41 AM
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ! NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER Ever Again

Are YOU insane ? I was blind-sided but both my ex hubbies into thinking we should do that marriage thing. I NEVER saw the POINT. And was lucky to get out of both unions ALIVE and not compleatly NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR drinking to forget Marriage has to be one of those old ideas MEN dreamed up along with Bras and High Heeled Shoes.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 45
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:33:21 AM
Considering I'm soon to be 49 and haven't been married yet, I don't believe I fall into the 'desperate to be married' bin, or I'd have done it already by now ;)

Since the common denominator in the 4 relationships was you, perhaps you should look a bit closer at what your words and/or actions might be saying or not saying to these women. If you broke things off after a short period because these women felt marriage was the next step, start looking at what may have caused them to think this...Most people don't just think about getting married and not think about *who* they want that person to be...only the desperate ones would marry just anyone, IMO. And most women in their 40s, either married previously or still single, know exactly how great being single is so they're not desperate to change that with marriage. So, look at yourself and see what signals you may be sending them.
 Brandie46
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 46
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 11:32:24 AM
Addicted 2 Chaos, it's simple, just don't date desperate women.

Most of us over 40 gals who've been married, have grown kids and our own lives are not desperate to get married.

Been there done that!

Brandie46
 Wherefore Art Thou?
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 47
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 11:34:30 AM
From OP's profile:
I have accepted a job opportunity to go to Europe and work in London, UK and should be moving around the first of the year. This doesn't mean I am not interested in a relationship. It does mean that I don't want my move to equal a nasty breakup and leave hurt people in its wake. I am going to be an empty- nester whenever my kid decides to go to college.

She thinks: "Hmmm. If I play my cards right the grand prize is I get to live in London with Prince Charming here! Quick! Try on the glass slipper!"
He thinks: "Well, she's on notice, I'm leaving at the end of the year. If she's still here she's just as interested in a phuck-buddy for the next few months as I am. Good deal!"

Sounds like a recipe for "Chaos" to me...
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 48
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 12:11:36 PM
Anyone looking for chaos, and then complained when they find it????

Hey, I just blame the whole thing on the women I have dated wanting to get married.

Maybe the thread should have been "Why are people over 40 so deperate to date people in chaos?"
 Addicted_2_Chaos
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 49
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 3:56:27 PM
Wow, I touched a nerve with this post! Nonetheless, thank you for replying!

Within 5 minutes someone voted that it be deleted due to repetition. I performed a search and found only one other post with these words in the title…hmmm.

Then, the post got moved from Relationships to “Over 45”. Did I say “women over 45”? No, but thanks to the Moderator who moved it.

Then, I read all the huffy responses and denial in the answers to my post. Funny.

So, apparently I didn’t add enough details. I wasn’t aware that I was supposed to quote entire conversations that were held with each lady. I stated that I was clear about my intentions, is this not enough?

Next, not a single lady mentioned was from POF, so don’t take things so personally! Geez, it’s like this was a personal affront to each of you, even though I opened the post with “I know I can’t paint all women with this brush…” Let me guess, I wasn’t clear enough, right? Evidently my profile is very fuzzy also, since some of you decided that my wording and intentions is unclear. Good grief! Do I have to draw a picture and color it for you?

One person thinks my pics aren’t current.

Another claimed I couldn’t admit that I wanted no strings sex (thanks for reading my mind and getting it wrong).

Two people decided it was due to my screen name. I didn’t know that choosing a profile name meant that it had to be my exact identity day in and day out, but I will remember that policy when choosing the next one.

Another lady thought it was because I chose needy, chaotic women. Okay, you be the judge- the first one is a homeowner, has a career with a mid-level salary, gets promoted occasionally, and has been divorced 6 yrs. The 2nd lady is also a homeowner and career woman, divorced, no children at home, runs her company’s sales dept. for the entire East Coast- needy? Chaotic?

One lady thinks I base my claims on dating merely 2 women. It was 4, but thanks. I didn’t know I was inexperienced in the dating field. I better spool up here!

Most people thought I was leading these women on (it just CANT be the woman’s fault, now, can it?)

One lady thinks I am controlling and misleading by having “dating” in my profile. I may be mistaken, but I thought dating was somewhat different than marriage or LTR…why do you want me to re- write my profile carolanne60? I didn’t allege that their biological clock was ticking, I merely stated that it wouldn’t wash as an explanation.

Still another lady thinks you scared me off because I didn’t return in the middle of the day. I have this thing I try to stay focused at during the day- some of you may have heard it called WORK !

Moriama, maybe if you tried working instead of finding your validation in watching Oprah and Dr. Phil, your life would go a little better and there would be less bitterness?

Only a tiny minority took the time to read the posting and reply in full with their opinions in a clear manner.

I am not expecting a bunch of butt kissing, but the anger and denial is very evident and amusing.
 MzFish
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 50
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:08:11 PM
At 45 Ive been married,not in any kind of rush to get married again,as a matter of fact I'm not even sure I'd want to.I'm sure the women you dated had their reasons for wanting to go there although 2 & 4 months is just way too soon to even be thinking that but to each his own I guess.
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