Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 479
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 20 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
I got news today...
One of my bigger RRSP accounts still shows the ex as the beneficiary! Damned near choked on that one after almost 5 years of thinking that was changed.
Will be a minor procedure to have it corrected again and hope they actually do it this time. But all I could think about was my buyin the farm and him receiving even more money than what he received when we separated..God!!!
Now what's this about marrying up again? Right...
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 480
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:33:41 PM
I know..I wanna at least try for steps one and two "before" I even think about marriage again.

I know my ex tried to take out an insurance policy on me "after" we were first separated. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if he found a way to get one either. He had a woman..one of his g/f's..talked into signing my name on tax forms that he filed as joint..again.."after" we were separated for 2 years in a row..and then..with the divorce pending on the 3rd year. Yep..they gave it to him..with the allotment for the kids as dependents as well. When I contacted the IRS with the legalities..I had to "purchase" a copy of the taxes for the nominal fee of $70.00 per year he lied to the government. Then..they wanted me to press the charges at my expense! HA!

Married? Again?
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 481
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:13:54 PM
After reading the last few post I have determined the only logical thing to do is either remarry your ex or shoot them!!!!!!!!!!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 482
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:30:36 PM

After reading the last few post I have determined the only logical thing to do is either remarry your ex or shoot them!!!!!!!!!!
BITE YOUR TONGUE John!!! LOL! don't you know that's exactly what mine is waiting on! (He told our kids this) Sheeessshhhhh! I must admit though that during the 7 years that I was only "separated"....it DID serve the great purpose of automatically meaning that I couldn't "get married"...I already was LOL! As my S/O during that time never hesitated to harrass me about. He (ex bf) was sure that if I ever got divorced that I would surely marry him.....wrong, 3 years later he finally got the message. I've heard all the "2 can live cheaper than 1" agruments, all the so called "pros" of wedding bliss. Don't get me wrong; I strongly believe in fidelity and monogamous relationships, committment and all that jazz...but I don't believe we need legal complications....and the older I get, I can definitely see advantages in separate housing! LOL!
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 483
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:39:33 PM
Here..Here..Grandmabooboo!!

I too have been seeing where my living on my own has tremendous benefits. Whew! I thought I was the only one.

I don't wanna argue with someone anymore..and I do want the d*mn covers!!!

I like my milk carton untainted by male lips..and my panties drying in the shower..suit me just fine.

I wanna watch whatever I wanna watch on tv some nights..not bowling..ewwwww!!!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 484
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:50:08 PM

I like my milk carton untainted by male lips..and my panties drying in the shower..suit me just fine.
OMG!!! I know....you'd think he was going to have a freaking cow every time I hung my bra on the hook behind the bathroom door! Sheeesssh, how careless of me not to observe that the proper place for underwear was on the bathroom FLOOR!!!! LOL!
 epiclove
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 485
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:53:12 PM
Wow....desperate to get married??? The only over 40's I know that are desperate to get married, never HAVE been. And there aren't many of those. Maybe you could think of it as a compliment!!!! Are you a 'play hard to get' kinda guy??? 'Pursuers 'are frequently attracted to 'distancers' and the harder you push away, the more they pursue. There are books written on the subject (ie The Dance of Intimacy). All of my over 40 friends want a relationship, with seperate addresses. They've worked hard to get where they are, and truly value their independence, and privacy. Even older girls, just wanna have fun!!!!
 gardenia72
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 486
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:03:33 PM
yo estoy en desacuerdo con eso que dice el forista- QUE LE HACE PENSAR QUE TODAS LAS MUJERES ESTAN DESESPERADAS? SOLO quiero decir que tengo muchos años sola y solo busco una pareja, no es necesario casarse o GET MARRIED. He leido varias de las opiniones aqui y estoy de acuerdo con muchas foristas, no todas somos iguales.
 meegway
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 487
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:24:02 PM
It gets even more complicated if the common law relationship doesn't work out. In Canada when you meet the legal requirements for a common law relationship it becomes very complicated when trying to settle all matters. Check the laws for your state. Many people tend to believe that not getting married protects you legal rights when it's just the opposite. You are now responsible for the children from your first marriage and your common law relationship. And if you didn't have a will drawn up your real children may not be left with much as it could end up going to your common law partner....so be very careful and don't assume anything.

Pizza
 meegway
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 488
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:28:52 PM
Sounds like the typical American every man, woman and child for themselves story...lol. Not to be cynical or anything it was just quite an eye opener watching a couple of home grown American movies call "Sicko" and "Maxed Out." I think Americans have created their own Abyss from greed and are about to fall in it.

Mike
 Uncle_Enrico
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 489
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:36:54 PM
Women want to be loved.

Who can blame them?
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 490
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:21:54 AM

It gets even more complicated if the common law relationship doesn't work out. In Canada when you meet the legal requirements for a common law relationship it becomes very complicated when trying to settle all matters. Check the laws for your state. Many people tend to believe that not getting married protects you legal rights when it's just the opposite. You are now responsible for the children from your first marriage and your common law relationship. And if you didn't have a will drawn up your real children may not be left with much as it could end up going to your common law partner....so be very careful and don't assume anything.
WOW! Didn't realize that things were quite that bad in Canada! In the US, there are only 14 states that even recognize "Common Law" marriage, and there are several conditions which must be met in order to qualify. In most cases, simply living together does NOT establish a "common law" situation.


Sounds like the typical American every man, woman and child for themselves story...lol. Not to be cynical or anything it was just quite an eye opener watching a couple of home grown American movies call "Sicko" and "Maxed Out." I think Americans have created their own Abyss from greed and are about to fall in it.
I'm not familiar with the movies mentioned so I can't comment on their accuracy....or whether they're simply some socialist propaganda intended to promote "guilt" in those who believe that all people are created equal and should assume equal responsibility for themselves; BUT, I am encouraged that there are those who still call this "typical Americanism". I like to believe that we've not ALL fallen into that "socialist" pit yet.

On one of the first pages of this thread I stated that women don't want to get married for the EXACT SAME reasons that men don't wish to get married. While it's not intended to insult the natural longing that men and women have to "mate for life", I'm thrilled to see so many men and women rebelling against idea that marriage is a unilateral arrangement where 50/50 is perceived as one does all the giving, while the other does all the taking! I am thrilled to see women getting away from this idea that they're "victims" with no choices. Before one can become truly "equal" they have to stop feeling like victims, accept equal RESPONSIBILITY....and only then can they take their place in a true "Partnership".

I am encouraged by every man, woman, and child who comes to the realization that their neediness does not entitle them to "take"...but rather motivate them to EARN. There can be no "equality" when the only 2 choices are "need" or "greed". VIVA CAPITALISM!!!!! LOL! My day is made!
 Lola and Her Honey
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 491
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:59:05 AM

It gets even more complicated if the common law relationship doesn't work out. In Canada when you meet the legal requirements for a common law relationship it becomes very complicated when trying to settle all matters.


Not where I live and every Province has it’s own legislation. In Alberta, Common Law has been replaced with the Adult Interdependent Relationships Act and it includes other personal relationships that fall outside of marriage, such as committed platonic relationships where two people agree to share emotional and economic responsibilities. Minors can also enter into these agreements.

Interdependent partners are protected under some provincial laws regarding eligibility for benefits, but agreements can pretty much be fashioned in any way the partners choose, including the disposition of an estate following death.

They’re also relatively uncomplicated to terminate should both or even just one, wish to do so.

LH
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 492
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/26/2008 6:31:53 AM
Here in Ontario, we can pretty much bite the bullet so to speak as far as common law relationships. May as well be married! lol
I am simply stunned by how many folks shack up at such an early stage in their relationship, then whine when they are made to pay the piper. There are no guarantees in any relationship, but surely, you should do your best to ensure you will be successful????
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 493
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:23:22 AM

Not where I live and every Province has it’s own legislation. In Alberta, Common Law has been replaced with the Adult Interdependent Relationships Act and it includes other personal relationships that fall outside of marriage, such as committed platonic relationships where two people agree to share emotional and economic responsibilities. Minors can also enter into these agreements.
You've got to be kiddin me???? Does something just smell rotten here.....Calling this "ADULT Interdependent Relationships Act" and then allowing MINORS to enter into these contracts? So, basically....if a couple of 14 yr olds decide to announce a common law marriage, then, assuming that in Canada parents are also responsible for their children until the age of 18, then the parents "inherit" their child's responsibility for for this platonic interdependent relationship??? So, if Suzie wants to go spend the night at Johnny's house, then Suzie's parents cannot legally say "No"....as it would be a breech of the Interdependent Relationship that minor Suzie has agreed to with minor Johnny???? LOL!!! Now that's what I call PROGRESSIVE!
 Lola and Her Honey
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 494
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:44:32 AM
It’s not quite as “progressive” as that Grandma! Each party must be at least 16 years old and if under 18, the guardian(s) must consent to the agreement. And it doesn’t apply if the minor is related by blood or adoption.

LH
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 495
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/29/2008 8:13:09 PM
me states.....

"Women do not want to get married . Women do not want a commitment, from my experiences, they do not want to get hurt again. Make the same mistakes. They are more independant and not needing of a man."

IMO.. it's not a matter of not wanting to get hurt.. as much as it's a matter of men not wanting to commit to a second.. third.. or fourth date.. let alone marriage. Most of the men that ask me out.. ask me for one reason.. sex (usually in the parking lot of the place we meet no less). When they don't get it.. they don't ever bother with me again. Not that I'd want them too. There have been those few that have been true gentlemen.. but.. for what ever reason they never call/IM/e-mail again. How are you supposed to get to the next step in those cases?
 dreamgirl59
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 496
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/31/2008 7:35:59 PM
I certainly do not have that problem because I am married but have been seperated for a very long time. Which makes things a lot less complicated cause I never have to go over that bridge again. But, I would like to ask a question of you . Why do men over sixty answer the question on their profiles, that they might consider having children. Is that because they are looking for a younger woman ? I know some people might stretch the truth a little but some of them are so obvious. I think those who lie are not here to make a connection of love and some kind of commitment but one of lust. So why not just say so ? I personally am looking for a friend first and maybe more down the line. But , I will admit that you are right because if I tell another woman that I am intrested in someone they asume that I am looking for a husband. So now I don't tell anyone anything , not even my children.
 naturelover48
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 497
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/31/2008 7:41:48 PM
Oh I don't. I was married for 31 years. Did That. Not in a hurry to do that again. I think the reason they are in such a hurry is that they are fearful of fading beauty and that if they don't do it right away they will be alone for the rest of their lives. Me I personally will wait till I find someone that I have the chemistry with and even then it is going to be very difficult to get me to the alter.
 Chocolatebrowne
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 498
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:44:55 AM
Me4871, I read your profile, and cannot imagine why you don't get 2nd dates....
 OAS500
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 499
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:35:07 AM
QUOTE: "Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?"

Some are, some are allergic to the thought.

I was dating a gal (44) who seemed to have it on her agenda though.
She was very sweet, and i thought the world of her, but it seemed like if she wasnt married within the next couple of years that armaggeton would occur.
Kinda spooky to tell the truth.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 500
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:51:14 PM
Let's see. There are 2 types of guys out there, those that are immediately hot for you and want to make it in the parking lot, and those that are not and behave like gentlemen. You turn down the first type and they don't call back. The second type don't call back either. Hmmmm. Looks like a mystery to me all right.

I suspect that the more aggressive ones are just trying to determine if there is any mutual physical attraction before proceeding to further development of the relationship, while the less aggressive ones have already decided that while you are nice, you don't quite fit what they seek, or that they suspect that you might not be willing or able to provide the physical companionship they desire.

I have to say that I never make a move on a woman unless I have some feeling that she will accept, this usually based on feedback from her over the course of the evening. I also never go back for a second try if I am refused.

I guess I don't see what is so mysterious.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 501
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:57:16 PM
No doubt about it that in Canada in most provinces you can find yourself with all the liabilities of marriage simply by living with someone for a few months. About the minimum it will cost you is a proportion of your pension. If you do hook up with someone, make sure they have a bigger pension than you have, otherwise, a transfer of wealth will definitely happen when you split.

Its positively scary if you think at all about it, but, apparently, few people do.
 meegway
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 502
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:49:01 PM
Here's a thought. Men and women have relationships but keep their own places so that when there are disagreements they can go back to their corners...lol. Give it a few days to chill out then reunite. What do you think about that?

Pizza
 meegway
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 503
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:51:05 PM
Then that way they can keep reliving that 1st date high...lol. Pizza's just trying to put an optimistic spin on all of this relationship negativity. I do wish all well.

Pizza
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?