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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
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 TonySch
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 526
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 22 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
I'm on my 2nd divorce. Not that makes me an expert probably a failure. My feeling is we need people that are special to us, close to us. When we're born that is very important as we age through our early years (teens, 20's and 30's) we become more independant. We become more invincable (sorry 4 years of college and spelling sucks) as we get closer to meeting our maker, we go back to wanting (not nessarily needing) that attention from someone that cares for us deeply. The old saying kicks in once bitten twice shy kicks in. If things your new mate do remind you of things your old use to do. CYA i'm on the run. dont' know if this helps but hey it's free of charge a lot cheaper that a divorce lawyer LOL climbing down off my soap box
 widowsdesire
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 527
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 8/2/2009 1:42:21 PM
I am 54. I am single because my husband died after 18 years of marriage. My marriage was good. I loved being married.

With that said as a background... I am NOT desperate to get married but I WANT to get married some day. I am not in a rush, but I want that committed, til death do us part kind of relationship. I want someone in my life to share the good times and the bad. I want to wake up every morning in the same bed with a man I love and start the day off with a hug and a kiss and maybe if I am lucky, a little time being "one in the flesh". I have a lot of love to give. To me the good times are twice as good when you have someone to share them with. The bad times are only half as bad, because you have someone to support you through them.

I do not NEED to be married. I own my own home, mortgage free. I have enough invested to live out my days. I have a supportive family and plenty of friends. I have a lot to bring to the table. I am not looking for a meal ticket. I want a best friend, lover, life partner to embrace life's ups and downs with me. That does NOT equal desperation.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 528
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 8/2/2009 3:04:13 PM
^^^ What she said.

I guess I never got the memo that told me I was "desperate".
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 529
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:39:20 AM
With that said as a background... I am NOT desperate to get married but I WANT to get married some day. I am not in a rush, but I want that committed, til death do us part kind of relationship. I want someone in my life to share the good times and the bad. I want to wake up every morning in the same bed with a man I love and start the day off with a hug and a kiss and maybe if I am lucky, a little time being "one in the flesh". I have a lot of love to give. To me the good times are twice as good when you have someone to share them with. The bad times are only half as bad, because you have someone to support you through them.I want a best friend, lover, life partner to embrace life's ups and downs with me. That does NOT equal desperation.

That sounds really nice and it's what I would like to experience once in my life someday. I know that a loving person like myself would have no problem living that way. It's the commitment phobe men like the OP and bitter divorcees here that want to piss on the idea that people can make a promise to each other and show mutual enjoyment and respect. What guys like the OP should be saying to women is, "I'll spend time with you sweetie, but only when it is at my own convenience, I'll come over, meet your kids, have you cook for me and eat your food, heck I'll even man up and sleep with ya, as long as I don't have to stick around too long. I never know when Heather Locklear might come knockin on my door. When things get too romantic, I'll just avoid the subject of emotional intimacy by grabbing your ass and telling you how horney I am. "
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 530
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/12/2009 6:25:47 AM
I thought I would stay in my house and have a nice local relationship and share everything with that man but living arrangements. I sure was desperate to get married. But I changed my mind about marriage. Meeting the right person, you want to be with them as much as possible. It is amazing how you can be with them and they make you happy just being around
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 531
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/12/2009 6:30:47 AM
I'm way over 40, and I've always specified to men when I first talk with them, that marriage is not on my agenda.
So, while I agree that many women over 40 are looking for a husband, (but not necessarily desperate), not all are.

In my experience, it is usually the men who are looking for marriage.
 daffie
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 532
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/12/2009 6:54:46 AM
i have also found that men seem more eager to marry....
much more so than the many capable women i know.

no....i'm not generalising....
merely relating what i've found to be true of my acquaintances.
 LOVESTRUCK_wannabe
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 533
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:16:01 PM
There has only ever been one person in the last 20 years that I wanted to marry ASAP before we missed the opportunity for the 2nd time regardless of what star-crossed conditions had been dumped on our laps again.

That's it. I'm done. And like my profile says, I'm looking for a longterm live-out relationship.
 1GenerousMan
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 534
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 5:50:05 PM
MONEY MONEY MONEY AND MORE MONEY is always the answer to why women want to get married 95 % of the time. They want that security blanket and that is all. For that, your going to get a little sex, maybe good or maybe bad, pay their bills and their kids and relatives too. Better to rent then to buy if your in doubt.
 1GenerousMan
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 535
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:39:25 PM
Ask any of my 3 'x. They hit the Jackpot and were all still good friends because I knew what they wanted and gave it to them.
 truebluetiger
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 536
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:44:46 PM
Because we don't like being LONELY!!!!
Isn't that reason enough?
Not always something to do with your bank account.
Oh, you have a bank account...hmmmm.....
 1GenerousMan
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 537
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:49:15 PM
TB, One of the fastest way's to chase a man away is unfounded, stupid sarcasm
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 538
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:50:55 PM
well, like you said, you can't paint (or tar ;)) us all with the same brush... maybe some women are 'desperate' to get married because they feel life's clock ticking away

but maybe some women feel as though that clock could slooooow agonizingly if that ring was wrapped around their finger

personally, i'm not sure that i want to get married again and i'm certainly not in any rush to find out :)
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 539
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:07:23 PM

MONEY MONEY MONEY AND MORE MONEY is always the answer to why women want to get married 95 % of the time. They want that security blanket and that is all. For that, your going to get a little sex, maybe good or maybe bad, pay their bills and their kids and relatives too. Better to rent then to buy if your in doubt.
Well, what about women who have their own money and don't need his?

I don't need a security blanket, I don't have any unpaid bills, my children are not moochers, and neither are my relatives.

I'm not "DESPERATE to get married ... just happen to believe it goes along with the unconditional love we would have for one another.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 540
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:31:41 PM
"MONEY MONEY MONEY AND MORE MONEY is always the answer to why women want to get married 95 % of the time. They want that security blanket and that is all. For that, your going to get a little sex, maybe good or maybe bad, pay their bills and their kids and relatives too. Better to rent then to buy if your in doubt."

Sounds like you've been meeting all the wrong women.
 1GenerousMan
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 541
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:43:48 PM
kari....No, I meet all the right women I want to meet. Life is so simple, when you know what a woman wants and you give it to her.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 542
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:12:13 PM
"Life is so simple, when you know what a woman wants and you give it to her."

Why do some need to find needy people of the opposite gender to save?

How do you attempt to date women who already have everything they want because they themselves have earned what the money to pay for their toys?

How do you feel about women who have no desire to date, let alone marry someone who is multiple divorced?

No way do I need the burden of the baggage to marry anyone at this age. Unless I meet a fellow widowed person who has totally healed, I won't even be considering a relationship of any kind.
 Frenchguy2009
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 543
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:46:58 AM
Well if they are already in their 40's and never found a man to get married with before that's probably because there is a serious problem with them...
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 544
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 11:10:36 AM
Well if they are already in their 40's and never found a man to get married with before that's probably because there is a serious problem with them...I didn't get the impression that was what this thread is about.

But if that's where we're going, then perhaps there's a lot to be said (a "serious problem" with men who marry and stay married for about 5 years, then move on to still another marriage ... for about 5 years, then just live with women because they can't really maintain "wedlock".

Believe it or not ... that's the case in here more than you'd expect.

I don't get the impression that too many people really want to get married at all these days. Actually, I've seen more men than women saying that they never intend to marry again.

Sooooo .... OP ... what's with that?


Women over 40 are desperate to get married??? Ah............................no, most of 'em don't even want to date, much less get married.
Maybe there seems to be a lot of women who are picky about just who they will date and so it seems to many men that the women don't want to date.

Aside from the married women in here ... I'd say most of us want to date, but we don't want to date "just any Tom, D!ck, or Harry" who might write to us. We're picky and have a right to be.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 545
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 3:01:01 PM
Some of us are picky, even though we have not been married and are over 50 without serious issues. I would love to get married, but am far from desperate to get married.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 546
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 3:09:52 PM

Well if they are already in their 40's and never found a man to get married with before that's probably because there is a serious problem with them...


who died and put you in charge of deciding who does and doesn't have a "serious problem"?

 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 547
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 3:15:17 PM
He and many others on POF who seem to think that the fact that they have been married allows them to decide that others who have not followed the same path have serious issues.....talk about generalizing and not thinking outside the box.....
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 548
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 5:48:42 PM
So if a woman is over 40 and never married, what might that serious problem be? Never going through the pain of an ugly divorce, custody battles and begging for child support? Not jumping into marriage for convenience and taking it very seriously? Waiting for the right person? Not sitting around sexless and lonely my whole life waiting for a man to rescue me? Not having children with someone who hates them and doesn't care about them? Having a life and wide variety of interests besides childbirth, wedding rings, changing diapers, potty training, and wallpaper? Please tell me what I am missing by not making all the mistakes multiple divorcees have enjoyed? Oh yeah- that serious problem might be that I'm almost always right and don't fall for the same BS so many women do. I've always said "I've made mistakes, but thank God I've never married them"
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 549
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 6:32:25 PM

So if a woman is over 40 and never married, what might that serious problem be?

Just a guess...
but I'm goin with..
maybe she is afriad of commitment..!!
Isn't that what most blame on us guys..??
(of course not counting me..
I gots a few "commitments under my belt))
---SoldierByte---
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 550
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 9/14/2009 6:35:34 PM
Maybe she was wise enough to not commit to the wrong man or men , which is a positive thing, but few seem to ever think anything positive, it is always negative.
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