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 msprof
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 680
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 28 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
This is interesting to me, as I feel that men are usually the ones looking for someone to marry. My interest is in dating, but I usually see men post long term as a desire.

I'm not sure as to why the women you chose wanted to get married. Is it that you are just too desirable?

Yes. I would prefer to go slow.
 msprof
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 681
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:35:09 PM
Wow! I agree with you. I really never wnat to get married again either. Once was plenty for me. You are right; it is a money making machine.. Why should people need a license to be together?
 daffie
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 682
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/7/2009 11:51:38 PM
are they?
geez...i never knew that...

then again...
i don't have any desperate friends...male or female....

maybe you should acquaint yourself with a different type of woman...
one who is happy and doesn't need any ol' man to complete her world...

(we are around you know...
millions of us...lol)

you should also think about bottling that hunkiness and charm you obviously have...
maybe you could do the right thing and share it with the less fortunate among your fellow pofers...
 Eowyn Bennett
Joined: 5/24/2005
Msg: 683
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 12:04:15 AM
Kari, first I would like to extend my regrets to you on the death of your late husband.

Then... I have been reading the responses to my note yesterday.

I see no real difference between marriage and living together. Except a lot of money spent on churches and caterers. Once we have lived together for a short time all the "benefits'" of marriage are there. Protection for ourselves, our property, our children.

Most people of our age have some form of property by now... maybe a house? We should not get into any long term relationship, legal marriage involved or not, without making an agreement ahead of time on... property split in case of break up. Keeping our children first in line for inheritance, etc. I have a house and land, made a promise to my parents and my ex that my children would inherit it and that IS going to happen, no matter how starry eyed I might get.

So... I have protection for my property, protection for my children, protection in case the guy turns out to be violent or creepy in any way. Why marry?
If you have a firm commitment to the church, then, I can see it, it is a way of declaring your relationship before God.
I am agnostic, not declaring my relationship or anything else to a Lord who I have such firm doubts in.

Give me a good reason for marriage.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 684
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:19:16 AM

maybe you should acquaint yourself with a different type of woman...
one who is happy and doesn't need any ol' man to complete her world...


And why would such a woman have any interest in having a relationship with a man? Sex?

I should think that most men would be looking for a woman who wants to build a new and complete world with a male partner. Something that is more than their individual worlds.
 Phoebe48
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 685
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:09:29 AM

And why would such a woman have any interest in having a relationship with a man? Sex?


Well, "making love" would probably be one reason.........for as long as "it" might last. The inability, on the part of a man in his late 50's and 60's and older, to physically, sexually perform, could and potentially does, become an issue in a relationship.
In answer to your question.........why would a woman have any interest in having a relationship? The answers are as varied as the individuality of women.

Why would a man have any interest in having a relationship with a woman? Sex?
See how shallow this question sounds?

Going to pour myself another cuppa java.............scratchin' my head??
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 686
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:19:15 AM
Context, Pheobe, you have to ask the question in its context. Leaving out "such a woman" sort of makes your question tangential.

Indeed, I am sure that there are many men who are happy and complete in their lives as singles, who would be quite happy to have a relationship with a woman for sex. In the context of my original post, that would indeed be shallow, and that would indeed have been my point.
 Phoebe48
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 687
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:55:29 AM
My apologies Mr. RG.........clearly I missed it's context re: "such a woman". In the future, I'll respond to posts, after having my second cuppa java. I missed the ball, for sure.

Of course, my apology was not complete enough to post the first time. Hence, the need for this additional diatribe.
Again...........mea culpa.
 xam elcnu
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 688
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:26:27 AM
>>Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?<<

...Because they miss that feeling of being in control.

You see, from 20 to 40, men actually believe relationships are 50/50, a shared compromise by each partner.

...But after 40, after most men's mid life crisis...men wisen up and realize that the 50/50 shared compromise was really more like..."she gets what she wants and he gets what she wants."

shhhhhhh, I let the cat out of the bag.

UM

 Sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 689
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 12:01:22 PM
I have been divorced for 27 years and haven't been in a rush to get remarried in 27 years, lol We both made a huge mistake but he has gotten married twice since our divorce.
I will consider marriage under certain conditions:
1. He must be a Billion with no heirs
2. He must be over 95 years of age
3. He must give me all of his money BEFORE we get married.
4. He must croak before it's time to consumate the marriage

JUST KIDDING, lol
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 690
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/8/2009 12:14:05 PM
""Kari, first I would like to extend my regrets to you on the death of your late husband.""

Thanks. By the end it was a relief to both of us, but at least he got to stay home until the very end.

""Give me a good reason for marriage.""

Depending on the laws in your state (if you live in the US), you may already be married by common law. It can be a real bugger to untangle such a situation. Divorce can be easy in comparison. I used to know a lawyer who was one of the most relaxed, laid back people I've ever known, unless that particular subject came up. It's fairly common, or was, in Alaska, but it wasn't the state that created the problems, it was insurance companies. Imagine having two people living together, having children together, homestead and fishing gear together, then having one of them die. Usually the insurance company pays off as though it were to a spouse/surviving children, but there are times... And just try explaining it all to the IRS.

Then there are the ones who split after years of accumulating joint property, etc, and according to my lawyer friend, the easiest way to sort everything out was for them to GET married, then immediately get divorced.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 691
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2009 5:35:16 PM
getting married after 40 doesn't really qualify as long term..not as long term as getting married at 20...marriage is for the rest of your life and not the good part of your life...the old and ugly part of your life...so get realistic when you marry after 40...
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 692
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:54:09 PM
I'm not desperate to get married with anyone. I do like to get married with the right one.
 Musky62
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 693
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:06:02 PM
Are women over 40 desparate to get married? I have been divorced about 7 years and only dated one woman that was interested in marriage. Most liked their independence and found it hard to open their life to a man on a regular basis, at least that seemed to be the type of woman that I was dating. Is that mostly true? I would like to get married to the right one also. Who is the right one? What does love mean at age 60 vs at age 25? Does being a good man, honest, loyal, and a good lover count for anything anymore?
 MrBeReal
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 694
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:31:31 AM
I think as woman get older they realize it might not be so great to marry a pig just to get a little bacon. lol I have no interest in being married again. If you like being with someone, you like being with them. Simple as that. If you have trust and good communication what more do you need? Maybe the insecure ones would feel better with a piece of paper. Only if it really, really mattered to the woman would I even consider it. I don't think the heading for this post is true.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 695
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 4:09:10 AM
Does being a good man/woman, honest, loyal and a good lover count for anything anymore?

Absolutely, the issue...............finding someone who recogonizes it in you and in whom you find the same things.............
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 696
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:11:32 AM
Just about every man I've met and ended up in a committed relationship with over the last few years has told me they intended to marry me. Eventually, they turned out to be emotional cripples or just insane, so needless to say, I didn't marry them.

But I NEVER told them I was looking for marriage - the idea always came from them.

I think the majority of women today are NOT looking to get married again because they do just fine on their own without having to cater to a man on a fulltime basis.
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 697
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:16:24 AM
If I don't get married, any good man is just a person who doesn't relate to me. Having a nice marriage will be my dream that may come true or may not. I am good and successful so it's not easy to find one who interests me!
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 698
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:34:57 AM

If I don't get married, any good man is just a person who doesn't relate to me. Having a nice marriage will be my dream that may come true or may not. I am good and successful so it's not easy to find one who interests me!


True - If I am NEVER going to be his wife, then he's just another boyfriend to me - nothing special. They come and they go.
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 699
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:55:46 AM

True - If I am NEVER going to be his wife, then he's just another boyfriend to me - nothing special. They come and they go

I understand Western culture but I never get used to have a boyfriend without the purpose of marriage. I have understood everyone who doesn't want to be in a marriage since I learned many things from the forums. Many people only want to have fun and don't want to be responsible because they are unable to be responsible. When they get old, they can still play with someone else in a nurse room...LOL!
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 700
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:41:44 PM

I think some of these people are doing the responsible thing by not wanting to marry,,,

Truly, you are positive! Playing around is being responsible, not bothering one only forever but enjoying everyone!
 NewToMichiana
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 701
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:44:36 PM

Truly, you are positive! Playing around is being responsible, not bothering one only forever but enjoying everyone!


I may have lost the meaning in translation but what I was trying to relay is that some aren't good marriage material and are being responsible by not marrying and possibly hurting someone ,,,

JMO
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 702
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:48:42 PM
I understood you and thank you! I won't marry someone who isn't good enough for the marriage material...
 agedwine4u
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 703
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:53:19 PM
Wake up PLEASE!, your over here saying women over 40 are so desperate to get married, and I on the other hand can't even get a date!, not that I would make your eyes bloodshot, but if this in fact were a fact, hide your bank book and insurance profile....you may be the next victim of (Women Who Kill For Money)...
Been married, and change, as all things do, changed with it. Don't think I would do it again, but, I don't have a crystal ball, everything happens for a reason! Don't for get that.....
Good luck.
 MrBeReal
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 704
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:51:40 PM
Marriage........over rated I think. Alot of people would be better off with a 5 year lease with the option of renewal. "My wife". Sounds like a possession. "My partner" sounds like an equal.
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