Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 131
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 3 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
I think the problem could be more with the way this idea was presented. The idea that this one man seems to think that because 2 of 4 women he came across recently seemed (to him) to be pushing so hard for marraige that it had to do solely with their age. I think many of us here do there there are desperate women out there but age rarely has anything to do with it. Some probably thought the OP came off as a bit conceited that somehow the majority of women he dates want to marry him, could be I suppose, could be just the way it worked out. I mentioned 2 in 4 years, but there were a lot more than 2 men in those 4 years that I dated who didn't want to get married to me and some to no one.

As for "personal attacks" if you are going to use a wide brush you better be prepared for the brush to swipe you on the back swing.
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 133
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/23/2007 12:52:35 PM

And also read the personal attacks launched at the poster of the thread. It is very easy to join a threat at an advanced stage( page 7 in your case) and not know what was posted before.


I have read them and in my case I got here on page 6 about a day after you showed up on page 5, what is your point? As I said when you start a thread "attacking" a wide range of people based on a couple than that range will come come back to bite you. I am not commending the people that responded with attacks to an attack but as an OP you have to take some of the bad with the good.
 Diana619
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 134
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/23/2007 5:19:38 PM
*Any* woman can marry if she sets her standards low enough.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 136
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/26/2007 2:54:42 AM
that's your problem, bear, don't wait on, clean up after, etc. anyone. spme of these guys are so archaic. i want someone to wait on ME!

i can't stand guys who think that way. it's like hit the high road, jack and never look back. i'm more interested in people with brain power than i am in these ridiculous, out dated gender roles. ugh!
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 142
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:41:18 PM
They are not!Four is hardly many. you may be dating women looking for a free ride...
Ever thought about asking their intentions upfront? Hey that photo of you looking like a overweight guy is the answer!

Everybody wants you, get used to it stud boy!

lol
 Simple and Faithful
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 145
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:18:10 AM
i totally agree wth ya man...some are in a major hurry to get married and some are lets take things slow....if we are over 40 something.....arent our clocks tickn, why are we single and looking anyways, was it our fault that we are single or was it our ex's fault...or was it just society today..too many people working too many hours and too many days and not enough time in the day to have and keep a mate, or even find one at that!
we work harder , longer hours ,and more days than our european friends....why? we are the most powerful country in the world, is it our governments way of controlling us..forcing us to work long hrs and days..i think so!
relationships are hard work and dedication is hard to find, when the chemistry is there, something always taking up our time ..i think it is called work!
in general most women dont want to be alone, they want to have someone to come home to everyday and lets face it.....our bodies , when you get 40 something are taking a turn down a road that most dont want to drive on...but thats el natural, all we can do is exercise and eat well, but do we do that right..because of our work habits....NOT!, fast food, a cold sandwich for lunch on a cold day...mmmm when are going to figuire this out.?

lets face it...women want to be loved, respected, appreciated, romanced and want to trust a man again!
i say "Men!...Its time to step up to the plate and act like Men!...What did most of our grandfathers do right, that we are not? what happened to love and devotion and monagamy and trust? did everyone burn their websters dictionary?..well they have a website..check out what the words mean and live by them! Men we have and will never think or figuire out a woman...but all we can do is try!
Be happy and forth giving!!!! You never know where it might lead you !
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 157
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:48:45 PM
I don't know why I read these forum pages. They only frighten me.
 sweetvirgo912
Joined: 10/24/2007
Msg: 158
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:18:15 PM
Well, I'm a few years over 50 and I am definitely not looking for marriage. I don't have to cook, talk, entertain, or clean up after anyone. And I really do not want to share my bed. There is a lot to be said for living alone which does not mean your lonely OR desperate for marriage.

Maybe you attract emotionally needy women.

Good luck with your search.
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 162
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/3/2007 8:53:24 PM
Why are some men so desperate to get married? I've been proposed to 3 times already, seriously. Thanks, but no thanks! Tried it once, that was enough, like many other women have already stated above.

Pink
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 163
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:14:51 PM
darn...........travel theworl has a year on me...............poo.

I have nothing against marriage.........................Just let me fall in love with a person who is my equal, and I would marry..........or not depending or the cirumstance.

Sorry world..............I don't do desperate. Hold a gun to my head, and I will fight you for it, as any person would.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 165
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:28:04 PM
"I've encountered this bizarre situation with women as well.

The only thing I'm proposing on the third date, provided it goes well, is a fourth date! "

Good Lord, children...........play nice.

NO...............NO marriage until you have know each other for at least year..........
Good Grief!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 166
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:30:42 PM
^^^^You sure a year is long enough sweetie???
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 168
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:42:22 PM
Hell no, a year isn't long enough. It is just for starters. Five years works much better for me. ............. ahhhhh make that 10.
 TimothyAL
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 169
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:39:14 AM
WOW! What a response! It looks like a lot of women feel strongly about this subject. But it's been my experience too that a lot of women close to my age are looking for someone to "grow old with" as they say. At least that's what I keep hearing. I don't think of myself as a great catch either. That is, I'm not rich, handsome, or famous. But still, there have been women that I liked and dated that came on like a ton of bricks after a few dates.

It will be a long time before I will be ready for marriage. My daughter is a senior in high school and lives with me full time. After graduation she wants to go to college. Those two things are the biggest events in my life and will be for a while. Sure it would be nice to settle in to a long term committed relationship, but not right now.

What are other guys running into "out there?"
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 171
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 2:36:34 PM

I think guys are more desperate to get laid then women are to get married.


I second that!!!
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 172
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 3:48:36 PM
I have absolutely no desire to get married again...ever. I'm done breeding, and I'm not interested in starting again with infants... I'm not 20 and need to "build" a life with someone..I have a life already.

My experience with "marriage" has not been very positive..it seems to me the quickest way to screw up a good relationship is with a wedding.

Now companionship is an entirely different matter... but I don't see marriage as necessary for that. Maybe it's the women you are attracted to? I don't know...I do know a lot of my friends that are close to my age feel the same as I do.

Good luck!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 175
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:41:04 PM

Looks like ladies that write in forums are not so desperate to get married as I read through the replies. Although, given the right guy entering their lives, that can change. Single gets old fast for some women.


The OP question was "Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?"
It wasn't "would you like to get married at sometime or ever again?" or "if the right guy came along would you consider getting married ?". While I am not "desperate" to get married again and to a point have considered the possibility I may never get married or meet someone I would want to marry, I wouldn't completely rule it out either. I have met someone that in my view would probably be a good candidate, but as others have mentioned not in any rush. In fact I would be perfectly content if things stayed they way they were if it meant they would stay this way a very long time.
 alliina
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 177
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 8:47:37 PM
being new to this on line "getting acquainted" "dating" site, i would assume that the people involved(usually 2) would address this kind of potential problem right off the hop. without communication, why are they so surprised to have these unwanted or unseen life goals present themselves out to the blue. "blindsided" i think was the word used.
don't people usually say "dating, long term, chat etc. in their profile? and 2,3 or 4 months is not nearly long enough to make decisions for the long term. for me ,i'm not looking for a quickie marriage or anything else. just want to meet someone, and maybe like each other,.... and perchance to dance( metaphorically speaking.)
happy fishing everyone
 timetripper
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 179
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:44:49 AM
whats LDS??????

If this was Chao's desperate attempt to get attention from women over 40 then he succeded.
Narrow views give u a very narrow path in life.
Enough said.
Except for I agree with the lady that suggested getting run over by a bus is a less painful alternative to getting married, only lets make it a bus with flat tyres!!!!!!!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 184
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 2:26:35 PM

blondblueyed: I didn't feel off topic because the answers coming in for the most part were... "I don't wanna get married - I can pay my own way - I like shopping for shoes more then being with a smelly man..... The story that followed the question in the heading was about this guys girlfriends wanting to marry him and quickly - after a few months. The question assumes that you have a HOT guy that you can't keep your hands off of.


Warmth, I didn’t say you were off topic, I just explained that there is a difference between being desperate to marry just anyone and finally meeting someone that you think is worth taking that second or third shot walking down the aisle. In regard to the sentence I quoted from you, mainly.


Although, given the right guy entering their lives, that can change. Single gets old fast for some women.


To me it implied that you got the impression women aren’t desperate except, if they have been alone too long. As you stated it gets old fast so it might change their minds faster and they become desperate. I don’t think that is the case at all. I think for the most part if a woman had to decide between being alone for the rest of her life or getting married to the wrong guy she would chose the single life no matter how many years she has been alone.

The main issue most of the respondents here had with the OP is the sweeping accusation that because 2 women he dated out of 4 pushed for a commitment it must mean all women over 40 will marry anyone that even somewhat resembles a man. He seems to also suggest that at least half of the women he will meet in the future will push for marriage too soon as well. It appears to be ego or wishful thinking on the part of the OP.


So how's the weather over in Tampa. Opps - off topic -- SORRY


The weather is great!
 TimothyAL
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 187
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:46:37 AM
Amen sister! I'm in the same boat! Only I was married for 23 years and have only had two want to move in with me. And I have a teenage daughter living with me too. Have you found that some people just aren't used to anyone being nice to them?

It's refreshing to see that it's not something that occurs with one sex. I hate stereotypes! :-)


Well, Addicted to Chaos, it seems very clear that it is the type of woman that you are attracted to who wants to get married right away. Studies show the happiest people are married men and single women! And I can speak for over a dozen women I know peronally over 40 who never want to get married again. The feeling is usually "It's nice to have a man around for some things (companionship, sex, home repairs....) but to be tied to one for ever and ever.........no way!" I was married for 25 years....and in my first year of singleness, I had four different men ask to move in with me.....NO! I finally have MY own place and I can do as I want. And I am so done with picking up someone's dirty socks and cooking them dinner...............!
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 193
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:28:59 PM
Maybe...but to get married with younger man...
I have some friends...and...they happy now!
 Tarelle
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 201
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 11:12:04 AM
I'm sure that you've heard this before but I am in my forties and am definitely not in any rush to get married. I've been there, done that and don't really want to go through that again anytime soon.
It's funny because after being burnt one too many times over the years I opted to stay competely out of the dating field for a few years. I'm just not thinking that it might be time to get back out there. I can tell you that if some man started talking marriage to me that soon...I would run in the opposite direction too.

Tarelle
 49andkickin
Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 202
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 2:19:13 PM
I have not ever responded to any forum thing before but I guess part of this sort of got to me. Yes some men are pigs, though I do not consider myself part of that percentage. In my former marriage I cleaned, laundry, mowed, fixed and ohhhh yes I worked to support us while she pursued an education (never finished) and other outside interests. And then I gave her a nice going away present too.
Sorry bearwoman, this is not an exclusive thing of "men only".
Also, by in large some women look at marriage as something desired, not all but some.
me
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 204
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/8/2007 2:59:56 PM
Now I know why they are called "THE GOOD OLD DAYS" !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >