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 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 269
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 5 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Huntressy.
I agree very well said.
Im not after casual sex.
Will I marry again?
I honestly dont know.
At this stage No.
He would have to be Unique.
I dont need a man to make me happy, If Theres a man in my life, its because I want him in my life.
As someone else said its men wanting marriage not long after they meet you, or men that have to many issues. I enjoy my life, left the past behind years ago.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 270
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:44:10 AM
Your title to this thread is going to put women on the defensive right off the bat, what did you expect? A standing ovation for insulting us?

I am not desperate to get married again. Period.
However if he had a few million in the bank and one foot in the grave, and he didn't want a pre-nup....then I might just consider it! :~()
And thats a joke for all you humorless guys who want to attack me for being a gold digger! Lighten up!

SapphirePoet
 gjay1
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 273
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:07:32 PM
crikey!! i m not rushing anywhere to get married!! in fact there are a whole bunch of trusted friends ready to shoot me if i even look like rushing into any silly ideas like that lol
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 274
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 4:38:13 PM

You are so right! Just yesterday, I got three realy nasty letters, I done nothing wrong, just couldn't say to a person I love you and move straight away to you. Never seen that person, never even seen a picture, only letters. She kept writing me, my inbox was full every day. I had to stay all evening on the computer and write to her,as soon as I came back from work. I live alone and have things to do. Now she is getting jealous because there was a new picture in my friends space. I just can't exlpain it.



...I have one piece of advice for you


...maeflowers
 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 275
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 4:45:48 PM
Hahhah you are funny OP....
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 276
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 4:47:29 PM
Come on now girls!
Maybe he is just really, really GOOD, ifn ya know what I am referrring to!!!

Has he ever come back to comment at all????
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 277
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:19:36 PM
I have ran into quite a few desperate woman they come in many forms. I could probably get married next week if I wanted to. On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think. It's one thing to say you're not desperate to get married and totally another to say you never want to get married again. That really is sad.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 278
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:32:51 PM
I would like to say differently...they don't care if they are married or not.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 279
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:53:02 PM
I thought I had my first bite. Read in detail profiles and what they say here. Many say they will never marry. I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without. Gloria Stinum, the original damaged woman, got married but she is still damaged.
 northernmiss2007
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 280
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:02:14 PM

On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think.


...Go ahead, and right underneath yours I'll start one asking the same question of the men. Works both ways.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 281
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:14:17 PM
^^^ Way to go Miss!
It most certainly does go both ways! The question the OP asked was regarding women. And the exact same thread could be posted regarding men with pretty much the same results.
I have no real desire to marry again. Matter o fact, really do not think I will the rate things are going. To say never? Well, let us just say it isn't in the cards in my forseeable future!
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 284
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:19:47 PM
Just goes to prove that No man is an island but some women live on them.
 Smilycynn
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 286
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:37:08 PM
Well I for one am not looking for marriage. In fact I am running from marriage. Sad to say I have been married and divorced three times and my whole outlook on marriage has drastically changed. I'm just looking for someone who wants to be with me and accepts me for who I am and take it one day at a time. Anyone out there like that?
 psunit
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 292
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:34:30 PM
Wait a minute...I'm not...what's wrong with that?
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 293
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:40:20 PM

I thought I had my first bite. Read in detail profiles and what they say here. Many say they will never marry. I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without. Gloria Stinum, the original damaged woman, got married but she is still damaged.
SAY WHAT????

I have no clue where you're getting your information, but a woman who does NOT want to marry is not catagorically "damaged". MY reasons for not wanting to marry are completely based on logic. It's no different than when I decided that I really don't need to go ice skating anymore! There's no advantage in it, and a whole lot of hassles for it. I absolutely adore men....I simply don't want the chore of raising another one. I'm sure many sane and reasonable men out there feel exactly the same way. They don't need my paycheck to pay the bills, they don't need a cook or a housekeeper, or a secretary...they don't need me to fix the toilet, or repair the roof, or do their laundry or shop for groceries. I have no earthly purpose (nor does a man) other than offering companionship and sex. Does that make HIM "damaged"??? I think NOT. Why think up a bunch of silly reasons for doing something really stupid just because SOME people think you have to want what THEY want or you're weird (damaged).
 labyrinths end
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 294
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:42:49 AM
lots of reasons
women might need financial security after a bad divorce
she may want a ring on her finger to validate her position as a desirable woman
most women want to belong to a man after a certain period goes by theyre beginning to feel the cold blow of old age approaching - even after they have sworn off marriage!
she wantsthe security - if something happens to you then all your stuff can go to her!
if you love her put your money where your mouth is
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 297
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:00:45 PM
Well, you are probably picking women who want to get "attached", and maybe have not allowed themselves to be in the "dating game". Let me explain to you what my life is like. I date. One weekend I am riding on the back of Harley's with police officers in motorcycle clubs, the next week, I am racing cars around with another guy who loves to race, the next weekend I am inviiting a guy from my church to attend a Pampered Chef party, the next week, I am inviting a different one to a historical tour of old town, the next weekend, I am taking a self-defense course with a different guy. Next weekend I have a pistol-shooting competition ... let's see.... who would be suited for that? Probably that soldier I met when I worked out at the gym on the Army base. He gave me his card. You see what I'm getting at? I am fifty-four years old..... get the picture? Women have MUCH MORE VARIETY to choose from than men, because men are limited in the things they do. The women that you chose probably did not have the courage to get out and GET AROUND. Next weekend is game night at a senior's house that belongs to my church.... let's see... bingo, scrabble, poker, apples to apples, trivial pursuit? I asked my favorite boyfriend, but he had better answer quick, because if he drags his feet, I'm not sitting around and crying about it.
 tableguy
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 299
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:52:50 PM
women are from venus men are from mars.as a man you see it one way,as a woman she sees it cmpletely another way.women are wired differently, they, for the most part are treated differently then a man .thats an enviormental issue.the older you get the more you realize that ,you both see things differently.somehow you still think that after many years and a few divorces that someone is still out there compromise ,to what extent or desperation and to what extent?i head, spark, chemistry, that moment,hmmm.what is going to keep you together and for how long and to what extent.remember we are older now and the kids flew the nest.compromise,maybe, but most now have a thicker skin and are willing to compromise alot less. as a matter of fact people are so busy looking for a problems they have encountered before,that they can't see the future. i see the word longterm.with my eyes open i cant see it,but with my eyes closed i can. again men are from mars women are from venus. oh there are some in between?
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 300
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/17/2008 4:21:50 AM

Women have MUCH MORE VARIETY to choose from than men, because men are limited in the things they do.
A BIG Thanks to smilee4u for saying this!!!

I once read (forgot the name of the book) that it takes 10 men to satisfy the passions/interests of 1 woman! It was many years ago that I read that comment and I'm not entirely certain that I was in total agreement with it at the time, but as years have gone by, I've come more and more to recognize the truth in the statement.

About 10 years ago I made the "New Years Resolution" that the following year, I was going to do at least 10 new things that I had never ever done before! It's no longer a "resolution", but rather just a philosophy. It doesn't have to be about "thrill seeking" either....trying new things can be something as simple as.....eating at restaurant you've never tried before. (My daughter and her boyfriend took me to a Sushi bar this summer). While both genders can be "boring", and both be "control freaks"....I think however that the nature of men tends more to lead them only along paths that they are sure of...that they can control...and where they are certain of their expertise.

I do think you've really put your finger on a big reason why women over 40 do NOT want to get married. I know that I have turned my nose up at some otherwise pretty great guys simply because of their lack of a sense of adventure. (willingness to try new and different things)
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 302
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:00:17 PM

Its simple they feel they are losing their looks and sex appeal and don't want to end up alone
Ya see, I read comments like this one, and in the spirit of being fair minded....I decide.....Ok, let's take a look. Soooo, I check out 16 pages worth of men's profiles (ones who comment about women loosing their looks, or ones who think all men want MUCH younger women).....and what do I find? LOL! well....I'm afraid that 9 out of 10 of the men who are MY age, look about 10-15 yrs older. In fact.....some of those still in their 40s look older than my father. It makes me think that some of you guys are seriously dillusional....or on some REALLY good drugs!
 handholder
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 303
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:26:42 PM
I find this interesting, as I have found that it is the men who do the pushing now....a reverse of when i was just starting the dating scene, i was interested in having a family, so marriage was part of the package. Now, i would love to have many many many dates...enjoy getting to know someone...really take it slow, but i find that the men are laying claim much too quickly, then i feel smothered....

just another perpective.....
 handholder
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 304
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:29:15 PM
also....the man i would enjoy spending more time with pulls away, then i become more aggressive...yet it is not to keep him, just want to get to really know him.....why is that??
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 305
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/17/2008 10:39:28 PM
I never said anything like this:

... but a woman who does NOT want to marry is not catagorically "damaged".

This is s symptom of a what a damged woman would say:

There's no advantage in it, and a whole lot of hassles for it. I absolutely adore men....I simply don't want the chore of raising another one.

You feell all men need to be "raised" you worked hard (it was a chore) at it and now men owe you. You believe it is impossible for a man to make your life better only worse.

This is what a skeptical but not necesarily a damaged woman would say:

If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.... I would have to meet a very very special person to even contemplate this. I am very fussy.... and why not. Why should I settle for second best? I am quite able to look after myself. Although to have that someone would be a bonus.

This is an understanding that you are independant but the right guy will enhance your life not take away from it. You don't feel burdened by having to deal with a man but understand that the right guy's strengths will compliment your weaknesses. yada yada yada, we all heard it before.

I'm sure many sane and reasonable men out there feel exactly the same way. They don't need my paycheck to pay the bills, they don't need a cook or a housekeeper, or a secretary...they don't need me to fix the toilet, or repair the roof, or do their laundry or shop for groceries.

Don't NEED anything but wouldn't it be nice to have everything. To be with someone you value more than yourself. Doing things for this person would not be a chore but a joy. This would be true love and failure to understand or acknowledge the possibility would be another sysmptom of "damage"

I have no earthly purpose (nor does a man) other than offering companionship and sex.

This is simply put but yes in a comitted relationship were you both vow to do it forever for each other.

Why think up a bunch of silly reasons for doing something really stupid just because SOME people think you have to want what THEY want or you're weird (damaged).

More "damaged" symptoms.

So to repeat my earlier statement:
"I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy and that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without."
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 306
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/18/2008 4:56:38 AM

You believe it is impossible for a man to make your life better only worse.
Ok Dr. Fred; why don't you give us ladies of a few examples of how a man can make our lives "better"???

Don't NEED anything but wouldn't it be nice to have everything. To be with someone you value more than yourself. Doing things for this person would not be a chore but a joy. This would be true love and failure to understand or acknowledge the possibility would be another sysmptom of "damage"
This would truly be wonderful.....IF it worked BOTH ways. Unfortunately we live in a world where the "entitlement" seems to flow only in one direction. The direction of that flow is determined by the philosophy "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", so he/she who complains loudest and longest gets the flow. It's a great deal for the chronic complainer; but extremely tiring for the partner who prefers to accept personal responsibility.

You feell all men need to be "raised" you worked hard (it was a chore) at it and now men owe you. You believe it is impossible for a man to make your life better only worse.
Very typical of a "damaged" male to ADD words which were NOT said. By adding the little "mind reading" trick.....which was NOT at all either what I said...NOR was it what I was thinking, it's proven that life with such perons (who THINK) they know what you think better than you do; IS in fact a very stressful, tedius and exhausting way to live. Having to continually argue with the demons which live in someone else's mind is a never ending, no win situation. You have however by the Freudian slip stated YOUR own feelings....that "now women OWE" you. This is exactly the sort of thing that a lot of women have encountered and personally, I've seen so much of it that one of my first observations about a male is to listen carefully to his complaints about his ex. In this way...I KNOW exactly what "debts" he will expect me to pay. (to right every wrong that was done to him).

The feeling of having to "raise" a partner is not gender specific, a great many single people (male and female) have had similar feelings. People are not always compatibly matched up in the area of maturity and the more mature partner frequently feels as if they are in essence..."parenting" the other partner. Maturity however tells us that at least 50% of our "misery" was of our own doing.....ie, we chose it. It was NOT "damage", but rather maturity which told me that I have the Worlds Lousiest Taste in Men (probably because I do find the little boy prankishness so damned cute) and therefore it is NOT a good idea for ME to "buy the cow". (marry).

I have yet however to encounter ANY male who accepted similar responsibility by honestly stating that 50% of THEIR misery was THEIR OWN doing by virtue of the lousy mates which THEY themselves selected.
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