Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 tbaylady
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 176
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 8 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
i know of some who want to get married for the sake , theyre afraid of being alone. I personally dont think i will marry again. i lived my life for others and now its time to live for me!!! I have a career i enjoy....friends i adore....and a life i love.
 alliina
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 177
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 8:47:37 PM
being new to this on line "getting acquainted" "dating" site, i would assume that the people involved(usually 2) would address this kind of potential problem right off the hop. without communication, why are they so surprised to have these unwanted or unseen life goals present themselves out to the blue. "blindsided" i think was the word used.
don't people usually say "dating, long term, chat etc. in their profile? and 2,3 or 4 months is not nearly long enough to make decisions for the long term. for me ,i'm not looking for a quickie marriage or anything else. just want to meet someone, and maybe like each other,.... and perchance to dance( metaphorically speaking.)
happy fishing everyone
 Woodstar
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 178
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:08:57 PM
Sorry folks, I only read the first few pages.

One detail of this sordid affair has been overlooked.

He's LDS. Probably met his ladies at a "Special Interest Dance" (an lds function).

They can't help it dude...its in their DNA.

forgive me if this little bit of information has been mentioned previously.

ps..MSG 62...how's Your Poker Game???
 timetripper
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 179
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:44:49 AM
whats LDS??????

If this was Chao's desperate attempt to get attention from women over 40 then he succeded.
Narrow views give u a very narrow path in life.
Enough said.
Except for I agree with the lady that suggested getting run over by a bus is a less painful alternative to getting married, only lets make it a bus with flat tyres!!!!!!!
 ORCAANNA
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 180
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:49:13 AM
maybe OP, you need to really get your bearings straight!!! i read your profile, and it seems to say that you inspect the government, as your career. Well , get on with the inspecting, the government has been lackluster as of late. Are you , maybe too worried about us women over forty, and letting the inspecting fall short?? By the way, to answear your question..... No, i am not desperate at all to get married AGAIN. been there and some already--- i'm not even sure if i want to " SHACK UP" with a man
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 181
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:52:32 AM
Dear Addicted,
Does your name say it all? Actually, I'm over 50 and I have been married twice. The thought of getting married again makes me ill.....lol. I have come to the conclusion I will never, ever marry again unless it's someone that: 1) I can't live without; 2)he feels the same way about me. Just think how long it can take to find someone who is so compatable, loyal, loving, kind.......the qualities I'm looking for are too numerous to mention. I had blinders on when I was young, not anymore. I would much rather spend the rest of my life alone (fortunately I have a loving family), than with a man that complicates my life or makes me feel miserable. Please don't assume that we are all just looking for husbands, I think good friends and fun times are called for on this site, let's lighten up!!
 Gotmail?
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 182
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 6:17:25 AM
I DO want to get married again, but in no hurry to rush it and make an error.

I loved being married, and bc I do want to remarry SOMEDAY..... I cannot see staying in relationships with no long term potential.
 Fun FL girl
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 183
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 7:01:19 AM
I am over 40 and I am not desperate to rush into another error!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 184
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 2:26:35 PM

blondblueyed: I didn't feel off topic because the answers coming in for the most part were... "I don't wanna get married - I can pay my own way - I like shopping for shoes more then being with a smelly man..... The story that followed the question in the heading was about this guys girlfriends wanting to marry him and quickly - after a few months. The question assumes that you have a HOT guy that you can't keep your hands off of.


Warmth, I didn’t say you were off topic, I just explained that there is a difference between being desperate to marry just anyone and finally meeting someone that you think is worth taking that second or third shot walking down the aisle. In regard to the sentence I quoted from you, mainly.


Although, given the right guy entering their lives, that can change. Single gets old fast for some women.


To me it implied that you got the impression women aren’t desperate except, if they have been alone too long. As you stated it gets old fast so it might change their minds faster and they become desperate. I don’t think that is the case at all. I think for the most part if a woman had to decide between being alone for the rest of her life or getting married to the wrong guy she would chose the single life no matter how many years she has been alone.

The main issue most of the respondents here had with the OP is the sweeping accusation that because 2 women he dated out of 4 pushed for a commitment it must mean all women over 40 will marry anyone that even somewhat resembles a man. He seems to also suggest that at least half of the women he will meet in the future will push for marriage too soon as well. It appears to be ego or wishful thinking on the part of the OP.


So how's the weather over in Tampa. Opps - off topic -- SORRY


The weather is great!
 travelor
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 185
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:53:55 PM
Well, Addicted to Chaos, it seems very clear that it is the type of woman that you are attracted to who wants to get married right away. Studies show the happiest people are married men and single women! And I can speak for over a dozen women I know peronally over 40 who never want to get married again. The feeling is usually "It's nice to have a man around for some things (companionship, sex, home repairs....) but to be tied to one for ever and ever.........no way!" I was married for 25 years....and in my first year of singleness, I had four different men ask to move in with me.....NO! I finally have MY own place and I can do as I want. And I am so done with picking up someone's dirty socks and cooking them dinner...............!
 travel_theworld
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 186
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 4:08:12 PM
Travelor Amen girl....I have no time for laundry I rather be traveling.
 TimothyAL
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 187
view profile
History
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:46:37 AM
Amen sister! I'm in the same boat! Only I was married for 23 years and have only had two want to move in with me. And I have a teenage daughter living with me too. Have you found that some people just aren't used to anyone being nice to them?

It's refreshing to see that it's not something that occurs with one sex. I hate stereotypes! :-)


Well, Addicted to Chaos, it seems very clear that it is the type of woman that you are attracted to who wants to get married right away. Studies show the happiest people are married men and single women! And I can speak for over a dozen women I know peronally over 40 who never want to get married again. The feeling is usually "It's nice to have a man around for some things (companionship, sex, home repairs....) but to be tied to one for ever and ever.........no way!" I was married for 25 years....and in my first year of singleness, I had four different men ask to move in with me.....NO! I finally have MY own place and I can do as I want. And I am so done with picking up someone's dirty socks and cooking them dinner...............!
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 188
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:59:12 AM
Hmmmmm why I don't want to get married again..... Let me count the ways:

1: I don't need another mouth to feed

2: I don't want to wash his undies

3: I like my toilet seat down

4: Ahhhhh..... no more snoring

5: I never get lost and refuse to stop for directions

6: I have complete control of the remote

7: Sundays I get to watch Lifetime Movies and not the NFL

8: Idont have to keep explaining why having checks in my checkbook doesnt mean there's money in there.

9: I can actually use my garage for my CAR...

And my number one answer for not wanting to get married is.................

WHY should we? We can be in a committed relationship, do all the things married people do, go on vacation, share holidays, share lifes ups N downs and YET.... when we argue.... go home to each others own homes.

AHhhh lifes good!! lol

jj
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 189
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:22:13 PM
You know, I agree with all the points you made, Justjanice. I tell myself and write down these things and many more and think how great it is to be alone and in full control.

But you know what? There's a song that goes "One Less Bell To Answer, One Less Egg to Fry" It haunts me sometimes. When you think of it logically, it seems so great to be alone and independent. But there's something missing......that hurts in your heart.
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 190
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:07:59 PM
Thanks, Redarcangel,

I think my point is this. It's not desperation at all. I think once you have been really intimately related to someone, you always kind of miss something when it's gone. I don't know that it's the same as "empty nest" syndrome. That's kind of in the nature of things to happen to people, children do grow up and leave. I don't know that it's "natural" for a man or woman to be alone. It might have it's good points and it's bad points, sure. But I think that's why we are here. At my age, I think my chances for finding someone are pretty remote, because of the man-woman ration, if nothing else, but still, there's always that outside chance there could be some old guy out there for me. I'm not desperate at all. But it is nice to have someone to share your life with. You never know.......
 topjack
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 191
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:17:33 PM

At my age, I think my chances for finding someone are pretty remote, because of the man-woman ration,


They're rationing women now!? No one ever tells me anything! Anyway...

lstar, of course it's nice to have someone to share your life with. The way I see it however, life is not going to wait, pause, stop, or slow down while you find that someone. So in the meantime, enjoy life and everything it has to offer. Even if that means you're enjoying it by yourself.
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 192
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:24:46 PM
awwwww lstar... you missed the last paragraph in my post. What I'm saying is... you don't need to get married to avoid lonliness.

Keep your chin up!!! jj


ps.. topjacks a cutieeeeeeeeeeee lol
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 193
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:28:59 PM
Maybe...but to get married with younger man...
I have some friends...and...they happy now!
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 194
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:30:29 PM
Oops, I meant to type "man-woman ratio".

I agree with topjack about enjoying life while you can, make the most with what you got. In the end, though, the biggest joy in life is in making someone else happy. When you're alone, it's easier to slip into the self-centered mode, I think. It's something to guard against. I like being alone a lot sometimes, but not "all" the time.

I'm no expert, for sure. Just my thoughts.
 mindmyownbusiness
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 195
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:31:34 PM
Must be the kind of women you date
 topjack
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 196
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:36:50 PM

In the end, though, the biggest joy in life is in making someone else happy.


Have you tried volunteer work? Charity work? You can do those things alone you know! There are always charities, especially with it being the Holiday Season, looking for assistance.

You won't be alone (Solves problem #1)
You'll be making others happy (Solves problem #2)
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 197
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:47:02 PM
You're right. There is volunteer work and I do volunteer and enjoy it very much.

What I was talking about was the "desperation" thing which the OP asked about. My point that I was trying to put through was, that it's not desperation at all. It's just a natural tendency for a woman to want to be with a man and vice versa. I think very few are "desperate". It's more like a preference than a "desperate need" to fill. IMO
 mochawoman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 198
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 5:37:17 PM
I rather eat crushed glass, myself.
 Woodstar
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 199
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:14:19 PM
Timetripper...post #228.

LDS is Mormon. He says it on his interest list. Mormons who are divorced/widowed/single and over a certain age attend dances and social functions that are called "Special Interest".

They are wayyyyyyyy into getting married. Its the PRIME DIRECTIVE and coming up close behind is to procreate.

So, this is my hunch. He stated he had not met these women on line. Soooo, I'm thinking he met them at a church function.

I'm telling you....its imperitive to be married if you are of this path.

So, I'm guessing thats why he thinks he's so hot and has women dropping at his feet.

If this is way to much info...mea cuppa.

Married again...not on my list of great things to do. Co habitate, share a life, share love? Sure...just don't see the need for the certificate.
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 200
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:23:53 AM
Coincidently a co-worker cut this out and left it on my desk with a huge LOL taped to it... and being this is why we no longer want to marry I had to share this...

Printed From Good House Keeping Magazine, May 13, 1955

THE GOOD WIFES GUIDE....

* Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs.

* Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when hje arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may nees a lift and one of your little duties is to provide it.

* Clear away the clutter: Make one last sweep through the main part of the hiuse just before he arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc... and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

* During the cooler months of the year you should prepare a light fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too... After all, caring for his comfort will provide you with emmence personal satisfaction.

* Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the childrens hands and face, comb their hair and if necessary change their cloths. They are little treasures and he would want to see them playing that part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise by turning off the washer, dryer, vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

* Be HAPPY to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and loving hug. Be sincere in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him. You may have a 100 things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Allow him to talk first, remember HIS topics of conversation are MORE important then yours.

* Make the evening his. NEVER complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other entertaining places without him.. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure anmd his very real need to be at home to relax.

* Your goal: Make sure HIS home is a place of peace, order and tranquility. Where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

* Dont greet him with complaints and problems.

* Dont complain if he is late or even stays out all night. Count this as a minor, compared to what he may have gone through all day.

* Make him comfortable. Gave him lean back in his favorite chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool/warm drink ready for him.

* Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.

* Dont ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. REMEMBER he is the master of the house and as such will always excercize his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have NO right to question him.

And last but not least.....

* A good wife ALWAYS knows her place........

( Im speechless....lol) So now I will sit back and watch the replies roll on in.......

Have a great day all!! And ladies... REMEMBER YOUR PLACE!!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?