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 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 201
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 9 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Sometimes I wonder just how stupid men think women are.
 WarmthNpassion
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 202
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:17:24 PM
Looks like ladies that write in forums are not so desperate to get married as I read through the replies. Although, given the right guy entering their lives, that can change. Single gets old fast for some women. They enjoy all the attention for a while but there are always occasional times where they end up alone when they don't want to be alone or with a guy that they don't really want to be with if they had better options. Enter into the picture a man that when he looks deep into your eyes, your heart skips a beat and you feel your face warm; a guy that really cares about you and not just how to get into your pants;. a man that looks handsome and sexy; a man you LOVE to talk with because he is funny and smart and caring and so on; one that just keeps on popping up in your mind when you are not together; a guy that loves you up like no other. I guess you gals are right.... who'd ever want that?
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 203
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:41:04 PM

Looks like ladies that write in forums are not so desperate to get married as I read through the replies. Although, given the right guy entering their lives, that can change. Single gets old fast for some women.


The OP question was "Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?"
It wasn't "would you like to get married at sometime or ever again?" or "if the right guy came along would you consider getting married ?". While I am not "desperate" to get married again and to a point have considered the possibility I may never get married or meet someone I would want to marry, I wouldn't completely rule it out either. I have met someone that in my view would probably be a good candidate, but as others have mentioned not in any rush. In fact I would be perfectly content if things stayed they way they were if it meant they would stay this way a very long time.
 tbaylady
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 204
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:53:55 PM
i know of some who want to get married for the sake , theyre afraid of being alone. I personally dont think i will marry again. i lived my life for others and now its time to live for me!!! I have a career i enjoy....friends i adore....and a life i love.
 alliina
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 205
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 8:47:37 PM
being new to this on line "getting acquainted" "dating" site, i would assume that the people involved(usually 2) would address this kind of potential problem right off the hop. without communication, why are they so surprised to have these unwanted or unseen life goals present themselves out to the blue. "blindsided" i think was the word used.
don't people usually say "dating, long term, chat etc. in their profile? and 2,3 or 4 months is not nearly long enough to make decisions for the long term. for me ,i'm not looking for a quickie marriage or anything else. just want to meet someone, and maybe like each other,.... and perchance to dance( metaphorically speaking.)
happy fishing everyone
 WarmthNpassion
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 206
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 8:55:37 PM
blondblueyed: I didn't feel off topic because the answers coming in for the most part were... "I don't wanna get married - I can pay my own way - I like shopping for shoes more then being with a smelly man..... The story that followed the question in the heading was about this guys girlfriends wanting to marry him and quickly - after a few months. The question assumes that you have a HOT guy that you can't keep your hands off of. So how's the weather over in Tampa. Opps - off topic -- SORRY
 Woodstar
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 207
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:08:57 PM
Sorry folks, I only read the first few pages.

One detail of this sordid affair has been overlooked.

He's LDS. Probably met his ladies at a "Special Interest Dance" (an lds function).

They can't help it dude...its in their DNA.

forgive me if this little bit of information has been mentioned previously.

ps..MSG 62...how's Your Poker Game???
 timetripper
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 208
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:44:49 AM
whats LDS??????

If this was Chao's desperate attempt to get attention from women over 40 then he succeded.
Narrow views give u a very narrow path in life.
Enough said.
Except for I agree with the lady that suggested getting run over by a bus is a less painful alternative to getting married, only lets make it a bus with flat tyres!!!!!!!
 ORCAANNA
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 209
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:49:13 AM
maybe OP, you need to really get your bearings straight!!! i read your profile, and it seems to say that you inspect the government, as your career. Well , get on with the inspecting, the government has been lackluster as of late. Are you , maybe too worried about us women over forty, and letting the inspecting fall short?? By the way, to answear your question..... No, i am not desperate at all to get married AGAIN. been there and some already--- i'm not even sure if i want to " SHACK UP" with a man
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 210
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:52:32 AM
Dear Addicted,
Does your name say it all? Actually, I'm over 50 and I have been married twice. The thought of getting married again makes me ill.....lol. I have come to the conclusion I will never, ever marry again unless it's someone that: 1) I can't live without; 2)he feels the same way about me. Just think how long it can take to find someone who is so compatable, loyal, loving, kind.......the qualities I'm looking for are too numerous to mention. I had blinders on when I was young, not anymore. I would much rather spend the rest of my life alone (fortunately I have a loving family), than with a man that complicates my life or makes me feel miserable. Please don't assume that we are all just looking for husbands, I think good friends and fun times are called for on this site, let's lighten up!!
 Gotmail?
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 211
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 6:17:25 AM
I DO want to get married again, but in no hurry to rush it and make an error.

I loved being married, and bc I do want to remarry SOMEDAY..... I cannot see staying in relationships with no long term potential.
 Fun FL girl
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 212
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 7:01:19 AM
I am over 40 and I am not desperate to rush into another error!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 213
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 2:26:35 PM

blondblueyed: I didn't feel off topic because the answers coming in for the most part were... "I don't wanna get married - I can pay my own way - I like shopping for shoes more then being with a smelly man..... The story that followed the question in the heading was about this guys girlfriends wanting to marry him and quickly - after a few months. The question assumes that you have a HOT guy that you can't keep your hands off of.


Warmth, I didn’t say you were off topic, I just explained that there is a difference between being desperate to marry just anyone and finally meeting someone that you think is worth taking that second or third shot walking down the aisle. In regard to the sentence I quoted from you, mainly.


Although, given the right guy entering their lives, that can change. Single gets old fast for some women.


To me it implied that you got the impression women aren’t desperate except, if they have been alone too long. As you stated it gets old fast so it might change their minds faster and they become desperate. I don’t think that is the case at all. I think for the most part if a woman had to decide between being alone for the rest of her life or getting married to the wrong guy she would chose the single life no matter how many years she has been alone.

The main issue most of the respondents here had with the OP is the sweeping accusation that because 2 women he dated out of 4 pushed for a commitment it must mean all women over 40 will marry anyone that even somewhat resembles a man. He seems to also suggest that at least half of the women he will meet in the future will push for marriage too soon as well. It appears to be ego or wishful thinking on the part of the OP.


So how's the weather over in Tampa. Opps - off topic -- SORRY


The weather is great!
 travelor
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 214
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 3:53:55 PM
Well, Addicted to Chaos, it seems very clear that it is the type of woman that you are attracted to who wants to get married right away. Studies show the happiest people are married men and single women! And I can speak for over a dozen women I know peronally over 40 who never want to get married again. The feeling is usually "It's nice to have a man around for some things (companionship, sex, home repairs....) but to be tied to one for ever and ever.........no way!" I was married for 25 years....and in my first year of singleness, I had four different men ask to move in with me.....NO! I finally have MY own place and I can do as I want. And I am so done with picking up someone's dirty socks and cooking them dinner...............!
 travel_theworld
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 215
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 4:08:12 PM
Travelor Amen girl....I have no time for laundry I rather be traveling.
 WarmthNpassion
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 216
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/5/2007 4:59:53 PM
Most would rather shoot a toe off their foot then marry the wrong person. If a woman finds a guy that she wants, she pulls out all the stops to land him. Perhaps "desperate" is not the right word as that implies negativity.

So, it is that he categorized all women over 40 desperate that gets the ladies upset. Yeah, we should always remember that we're unique..... Just like everyone else.

I'm moving to a more fun topic - Perhaps a naughty sex and dating question.
 TimothyAL
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 217
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:46:37 AM
Amen sister! I'm in the same boat! Only I was married for 23 years and have only had two want to move in with me. And I have a teenage daughter living with me too. Have you found that some people just aren't used to anyone being nice to them?

It's refreshing to see that it's not something that occurs with one sex. I hate stereotypes! :-)


Well, Addicted to Chaos, it seems very clear that it is the type of woman that you are attracted to who wants to get married right away. Studies show the happiest people are married men and single women! And I can speak for over a dozen women I know peronally over 40 who never want to get married again. The feeling is usually "It's nice to have a man around for some things (companionship, sex, home repairs....) but to be tied to one for ever and ever.........no way!" I was married for 25 years....and in my first year of singleness, I had four different men ask to move in with me.....NO! I finally have MY own place and I can do as I want. And I am so done with picking up someone's dirty socks and cooking them dinner...............!
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 218
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:59:12 AM
Hmmmmm why I don't want to get married again..... Let me count the ways:

1: I don't need another mouth to feed

2: I don't want to wash his undies

3: I like my toilet seat down

4: Ahhhhh..... no more snoring

5: I never get lost and refuse to stop for directions

6: I have complete control of the remote

7: Sundays I get to watch Lifetime Movies and not the NFL

8: Idont have to keep explaining why having checks in my checkbook doesnt mean there's money in there.

9: I can actually use my garage for my CAR...

And my number one answer for not wanting to get married is.................

WHY should we? We can be in a committed relationship, do all the things married people do, go on vacation, share holidays, share lifes ups N downs and YET.... when we argue.... go home to each others own homes.

AHhhh lifes good!! lol

jj
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 219
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:22:13 PM
You know, I agree with all the points you made, Justjanice. I tell myself and write down these things and many more and think how great it is to be alone and in full control.

But you know what? There's a song that goes "One Less Bell To Answer, One Less Egg to Fry" It haunts me sometimes. When you think of it logically, it seems so great to be alone and independent. But there's something missing......that hurts in your heart.
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 220
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:22:37 PM
Well said JJ.. !!

Desperate? Sheesh! I was "desperate" to get divorced! Married..again? Not even crossing my mind. DATING..that's what I chose to put in my profile! I also don't need a roomate..I can do fine on my own. Now with that said..I do know almost all my friends have done just what you're talking about. Within just a month or 4 of dating a guy (and that doesn't mean dating just that guy) they were shacked-up and engaged..or..even married!!! Way too fast for me..but..that's just it..it isn't me!

Not desperate here!
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 221
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:35:42 PM
lstar..I know that song..and I understand that feeling. It's alot like empty nest syndrome..when the kids leave home. Empty inside. I try not to let it rule me. Desperatation only causes desperation in the long run. Try switching from Marilyn McCoo to Gloria Gaynor..I will survive!!! Make omlets..or go out for breakfast.. ! Not saying if that Mr. Right should come along..don't marry him..just..don't let desperation be your guide! Good luck!
 lstar999
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 222
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:07:59 PM
Thanks, Redarcangel,

I think my point is this. It's not desperation at all. I think once you have been really intimately related to someone, you always kind of miss something when it's gone. I don't know that it's the same as "empty nest" syndrome. That's kind of in the nature of things to happen to people, children do grow up and leave. I don't know that it's "natural" for a man or woman to be alone. It might have it's good points and it's bad points, sure. But I think that's why we are here. At my age, I think my chances for finding someone are pretty remote, because of the man-woman ration, if nothing else, but still, there's always that outside chance there could be some old guy out there for me. I'm not desperate at all. But it is nice to have someone to share your life with. You never know.......
 topjack
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 223
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:17:33 PM

At my age, I think my chances for finding someone are pretty remote, because of the man-woman ration,


They're rationing women now!? No one ever tells me anything! Anyway...

lstar, of course it's nice to have someone to share your life with. The way I see it however, life is not going to wait, pause, stop, or slow down while you find that someone. So in the meantime, enjoy life and everything it has to offer. Even if that means you're enjoying it by yourself.
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 224
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:24:46 PM
awwwww lstar... you missed the last paragraph in my post. What I'm saying is... you don't need to get married to avoid lonliness.

Keep your chin up!!! jj


ps.. topjacks a cutieeeeeeeeeeee lol
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 225
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 11/6/2007 4:28:59 PM
Maybe...but to get married with younger man...
I have some friends...and...they happy now!
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