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 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 146
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36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Quadmom:

I just wanted to say good for you!! I enjoyed reading your story, and it made feel less guilty about being attracted to younger guys. I haven't really dated one yet, although my ex was six years younger(which I don't think is a huge age gap, especially when you consider everyone thought he was the older one!! )

I would be interested to know if the OP did follow her heart and date the guy, if she's still around. Would make for an interesting story.

Kudos to you Quadmom, you give me hope for the future!!!
 quadmom
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 147
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36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 2/19/2007 7:26:18 AM
Aww..thanks. Thats sweet.

You go for whoever you think might be good for you. Don't worry about what other people think.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 148
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:39:35 AM
cougar!!!! DO it do it! and go watch "the Graduate" with Dustin Hoffman
 cheiflottasmoke
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 149
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:51:57 AM
the pics on my profile i was 28,the woman that took the pic was my 48 yr old g/f.....and let me tell you...dating older is alot easier than younger.....usually an older woman or man has stability...so you dont have to deal with alot of drama.my experience was great dated for 2 yrs....still friends to this day just came back from keys snorkeling with her,shes 52 im 32....but when its us i dont think about the age.....i think about how she makes me feel.and we have tossed it around and as tragic as it is she is 20yrs older so its not a reality,so we just enjoy each others company as much as we can as long as we can
 janina26
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 151
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 10/10/2008 11:01:11 AM
As an almost very young looking and acting 61 year old woman, I get a lot of much younger men's attention but the issue here is that we cannot escape the fact that we are older and that the younger man will still be a man who will go looking for greener pastures, sooner or later......so unless you want to babysit or sit in the corner in a rocking chair while he is painting the town red...go for it!!! Janina
 camerali
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 152
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:07:33 AM
You can always try to go slow and see where it leads. I've known older guys who were really immature and players and younger guys who were one woman men , open, loving and giving. It's not the rule and may be the exception. You will know as time goes on. You can always still have kids with him or he can have a family with you and yours. I met a 75 yr. old lady who was married to a man who was 11 yrs. younger than her and he died. She told me they had the greatest love.
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 153
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 11/27/2008 10:54:29 PM
Yes it's "doomed"! A 36 year old woman "banging" a 21 year old? She must really yearn for those old "college" days??? I thought guys in their 20's were "immature" according to women ( I guess it''s different when SEX is involved)

Most of those situations don't last cause when that 21year old sees a nice 18-22 year old walks by (especially if he's in college) it's curtains for the that older woman! NO way I would date a 21 year old no matter how mature she "claims" to be. I just don't see the relation in any form or fashion. I prefer women along my age range for now and a female in her's 40's (hell to the NIIII--ZZZZZ oooooo!)
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 154
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 11/27/2008 11:58:53 PM
It takes an exceptional 21 year old...I met one...not your typical young guy...he's actually a lot wiser then a lot of older guys I know and sometimes more logical then me...lol...very domesticated and independent...does most of the cooking, cleans the dishes, likes kids...he looks at them in awe more then me...lol. So, in terms of being in different stages in life...once again...he's the exception and probably more ready then most younger guys and even some older guys...lol. So, it is possible but they're the exception. I hope things work out for you :)
 SocialButterfly4
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 155
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 11/28/2008 8:00:48 AM
My dad's 41, he dated a 20 year old for about a year ( who I went to school with)....YOUNGER than his own daughter...ME! Hello. I didn't agree and I didn't like her at all! I put up with their relationship....he could have so chosen someone more mature...I had to clean up after her and do all the cooking.

But, I mean, whatever makes my parents happy, I'm happy, as long as their S-O aren't younger than me....or know me!

Then again, if I were to bring a 40 year old man to my father's for supper....my father and uncle would be in jail, they would NOT approved.

So how does it make it ok for him to go with a 20 year old? Double standard much.....
 Jenp808
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 157
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36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:46:56 PM
I know a lot of ppl want to say age is just a number but I have to disagree here. After being married very young and being a young mom I have to say that I changed so much between my early 20's and early 30s. My political views, my religous views, even some moral issues. I was young, impulsive, impatient and had barely any wisdom.

I cannot possibly understand what a 21 year old could do spiritually, intellectually or otherwise (other than maybe physically).

But afterall my daughter is 20 and it just creeps me out to date anyone who is closer to her age than mine. I also see just how different world and life views are between my daughter's friends and my peers.

I wish you the best either way!
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 159
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36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:31:43 PM
Depends on the two people, if you can handle him and he can handle you, sure it can work.
 buccfan13
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 160
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:45:45 PM
i think its a great idea
 12851
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 161
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36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:04:00 AM
I was 21...and she was a stone cold 40 year old fox....hey, she did me proud AND gave my mother someone to chum around with
 PaisBo
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 162
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 10/22/2012 5:46:54 AM
Well, sjmh, that would only happen if math changed.

60-15=45

Might want to think things like that through first.

I have a friend who is 35 and married to 15 years older woman (so a realistic and mathmatically correct scenario for this situation). They have been married for 13 years and have an 11 year old daughter and you would never know the age difference.
 c0ffeemate
Joined: 7/23/2010
Msg: 163
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 10/22/2012 8:24:48 AM
You don't mention how long the two of you have known each other (if you have said in another post I missed it). You say the electricity is in the air, is there more than just sparks?
For myself, when I am in a relationship, typically it's with a man younger than me (within a 10ish year range) so I agree with the majority of the responders when they say age is a number. However with that being said, while maturity level is as not always related to age, there can be some 'common generalities' associated with 'typical' age-groups.
Open communication, expectations, and honesty are all very important ingredients to whether a relationship has a chance. Talk to the lucky man in question and see what he's thinking. Life's about choices :)
 Iggypops420
Joined: 10/16/2012
Msg: 164
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 10/23/2012 6:13:26 PM
My gf is 9 years older than me. I'm 26 she's 36 but I'm about to turn 27. She has a 19 y/o who's a bit of a waste of space and it's starting to become really bothersome. Court dates cuz of shoplifting, ambulance bills cuz she blacked out from drinking and got taken to the hospital. Not my kid so not a lot of parenting I can do.

Other than that we don't have a lot of problems.
 Whatheheck1
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 165
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36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 10/23/2012 7:23:06 PM
Oh, it's feasible all right! Do you honestly think a 21 yo guy will be happy long term with a 36 yo woman with two kids?

Like so many women who date much younger men hoping for a long term relationship, you are totally and completely delusional.
 dontneednostinkinname
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 166
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/25/2012 8:34:24 PM
Wow!!!!!! eeeee. MY opinion: he's a boy! I cant fathom having feelings for someone that young or that much younger, those feeling should pass in no time I would expect.
 KER6969
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 167
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/26/2012 10:10:49 AM
Go for it!!! Men date much younger women!! I see NOTHING wrong with women dating and having relationships with much younger men. I know women who are doing this and who have been in relationships with younger guys for quite some time.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 168
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/26/2012 11:42:45 AM
MEh, to each their own I guess.

I would never date anyone that's 21. I'm 34 now and I feel that majority of 21 year olds are not mature. I mean it's great to have fun with them but relationship wise not sure about that.

When i was 21, I dated someone who was 18. He lied to me being 18, I assumed he was older but eventually he told me his age and had he not lied, things would have been different. I dropped him like a sack of rotten potatoes and moved on.

I don't have time for liars.

My closest friend is 35 and she's married to a 24 year. And they are very much in love and have 2 beautiful boys.

Some ppl need to be mature in their age and some are and some arent.

I haven't met any guy whose 21 and is actually mature. But age is only a number. Don't let it hold u from finding someone that u could in the end be happy with.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 169
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/26/2012 12:05:36 PM
The way I would feel about it is if the older person in the relationship is closer to the parent's age than the partner's age, it would feel a bit creepy to me. A 21 year-old's parents could be around 40, so a 36 year-old would be closer to the parent's age range.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 170
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/26/2012 12:44:35 PM
It all depends on the maturity and intelligence of the 2 specific individuals involved, even with people of the SAME age.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 171
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/26/2012 1:34:36 PM
Go for it! I would!
It can work if both people are on the same page. By that I mean have things in common, have a desire to make it work & have a strong desire to be together. Don't worry about him having kids, maybe he doesn't want any. Neither or you knows what the future will bring. Just focus on the here & now, and girl, have fun!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 172
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 1/2/2013 4:34:03 PM
yes, it is doomed. it will never last. you are wasting your time if you think that this will be a long standing relationship. this man is 21. to him, you are an attractive older woman, a novelty, an experience, he may even love you, but he hasn't even established who he is yet as a man. do you want to have more kids, because he will reach a point where he will want kids, and if you are too old by then, you won't be able to have one with him. also, men are very visual. you will eventually start to show your age, and even the best plastic surgery can not sustain a woman's youthful appearance beyond a certain point. when you are 55 he will be 40 and able to date women that are 30 or possibly younger. that is what you will have to compete with. he will eventually leave you once you are no longer as attractive as you once were, and he will most likely take up with someone that is younger or near his own age. dating much younger works better for men, and does not work out so well typically for women. all I can say is that you are taking a HUGE risk of wasting your time with this very young, recently out of high school, still not yet fully developed brain (the brain is still developing in the early 20s) of a young 21 year old...um...man. and that is just it, at this age he isn't even a fully developed grown...MAN.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 173
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 1/2/2013 4:37:57 PM
nmyers99999

"Mind you - I was 19, she was 34. Time of my life. Was never going to last forever, but I would not want to have missed that part of my life for all the amatuer fumblings with girls my own age back then! So I'm incredibly bias!"

...you illustrate my point exactly. to you, this woman was a sexual experience. it was fun for a fling, but you knew it was not something that was going to lead to a lifelong partnership, and any woman that thinks a man is going to stay with her when he's 40 and she is mid 50s or more is really delusional. the rarity of that working must be somewhere in the .999999 percentile. if the OP is just looking for a fun fling, than sure, yeah, they are both adults - legally. but if she thinks this is going to last as a lifelong partnership? no way.
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