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 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 53
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!Page 2 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
Nick...."When drawing conclusions, it is important to be precise:
The SON told him that the SON got more free sex ..... etc etc
The SON, not "The Guy". His son! "

It just points out there are more people in his sons age group, into casual sex and gullible to the lines men spin, than there are us old farts.... Also I would think it would depend if one lives in a metropolitan area or the sticks... The son lived in New York state, was in his late 30's and the old man was 65 and lived in Georgia in a small town. But I've no doubt....the old man has had his share of "no ties" sexual encounters also. lol

Stop and think about it.....what investment, other than time, does one have in spinning the silver threads on the Internet, to several at one time, as apposed to giving your attention just to one women in a bar, hoping to score and buying her drinks all night? From an economical point of view, the Internet offers a much larger return for your time and money investment.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 54
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:23:00 AM
gtadaizee..."This is NOT A GENDER ISSUE and any female who puts that opinion out there shows their lack of insight into the world and there is one word for that IGNORANT! "

Whooooooooooo, cool down, don't have a spasm.......we each just speak from our personal experience....Men will relate tales of women players/predators and women will speak regarding experience from men players/predators.....we all recognize it works both ways....that's a given, doesn't have to be spelled out......just common sense. No one is gender bashing. My experience has just been with the male gamers....but then I don't swing both ways, so cant speak of any experience with my sex.

I can relate a story that I knew personal information regarding. There was a good looking gal in our community....her game was to get guys to fall in love with her and want a full time relationship with her. One of her demands was that they have a vasectomy before she would consider that. After they got snipped with the knife....she dumped them and moved to her next victim.....She really did have a bitter attitude regarding men who made babies and walked away from the responsibilities involved. So all single men become her target/game/play.

And to the above poster that pointed out....yes PREDITOR IS A BETTER DEFINATION/WORD.

Games are fine, everyone loves them, we are all competitive. What makes the difference, IMO, is when the one playing the game, knows the rules and doesn't enlighten the one they pick for the gaming partner.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 56
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:47:56 AM
Personally, in my opinion, making friends and spending time with many does not fall into the category of player/gamer.....it's just as you explained, spending time with people you enjoy, get to know them and building friendships with special people, male or female.

It's when you start taking advantage of that friendship, using that person, making promises you have no intention of fulfilling or using your knowledge of them to enhance yourself or fill your needs......that it crosses the border between an honest person and a dishonest person.....an acquaintance and a gamer/player/predator.

It's when and if you would tell someone something that would cause them to make a decision based on what you have lead them to believe are your true intentions and afford you something other than they would give freely.....based on truthfulness on your part. It's called........taking advantage of people.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 58
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:38:15 PM
xfox says:


I date numerous men at the same time.
Im not talkin bout sleepin with them , i dont.


You don't sleep with them? You're no playa baby. Now let me ask you something. Do they pay for everything? Or do you pay your way?
 fjield
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 60
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:39:42 PM
to be a player i am ohnest, with this subject, why is a woman asking these questions? when your a player you basically dont give out your secrets, especiallly to woman
 fjield
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 61
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:45:54 PM
you dont have to defend yourself girl that person is just jeolous probaly, if you want to be a player, all the power to ya i used to be a player and i am thinkin about doing it again why everyone? because its fun yo
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 72
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:13:19 PM
ecapydal...."But, how can you decipher these attributes online? "

Some men/ women only look for the women/men they can influence, dominate, control and manipulate, who will stroke their ego and not question anything that comes out of their mouths.

The ones who will build their ego and stroke their over inflated self importance. If they feel any resistance to that influence...they can label them a mind or game player and justify their moving on...to their next attempt to find their "victim".......it's that simple.

They want someone who thinks they are as great, as they think they are and someone who is self evaluating of a given situation, would not fit into their future plans.....of control. JMO
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 76
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/20/2007 8:57:40 AM

But she still wanted to meet, still insisted on hanging out with me almost nightly, kept fishing for compliments, wanting me to tell her she wasn't fat, that she was hot, yadda yadda yadda - then pushing me away on the rare occasions I'd comply with a "we're just friends".


Dude, what you are describing is not being a player, it means you've met people that are into games. Okay, we can also get lost into semantics and what a playa means to one person or another. To me, and to the people that I know they are Real players, two things take place, one they have multiple partners, but key, they sleep with them. Just going out with them, hanging out with them, date them without sleeping with them is not.

Now you and Fox need to get a room. Hehehehe. I leave you kids alone for one evening and you lash at each other with pubescent lust and passion. Channel that thought into something constructive and you'll be ripping each others clothes instead of your sentences.

Okay, back to subject. Hehehe.
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 77
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/20/2007 2:46:37 PM
Your very correct. But its not so much of an urban myth, as it is a overly narcissistic view, that seems to be born out of the silly rap/hip hop "lifestyle". The term player (or playa for people that can't spell english) is a relatively new terminology. Years ago it was called dating. The only difference is that some people feel comfortable dating only one person and some date many at the same time.

I do pretty well with the ladies and do have an active and healthy sex life with different women. Does that make me a player ? No, it makes me fun and enjoyable while searching for someone that I think will fit long term, which is not an easy thing to do. Anyone who thinks they are a player, is over compensating for something they are lacking in their personality or has self esteem or inferiority problems.

Now I have to figure out what "Baller" means. I always hear guys calling each other ballers Its sounds like someone who likes balls, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 78
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/20/2007 3:45:23 PM
gtadaizee..."I still say to both genders, you won't know a player until you are well into it or after it's over"

I like your analogy here. For someone who has a narcissistic personality trait, (and I do believe it takes that personality trait to be a player) they are good at reading people, their victim and using that knowledge to their benefit.....why? Because they don't get emotionally involved. Oh they can fake all the emotions needed to gain your trust, love and admiration, but they truly are aware they are using that knowledge to their benefit and to manipulate you. Like a good actor, they play a believable part.

One moment they will be compassionate, understanding, supportive, loving and the next they can turn all that off and withhold meeting any emotional needs you might have. It becomes an emotional roller coaster and they are the puppet master, you are just the puppet and it feeds their ego to have that control.

The good "players" are much more suttle/skilled, one never realizes it's happening and it does not come to the surface of the "player/gamer" unless they feel they are losing control of their "victim" or until they are ready to end the "game" and move on.

Their goal, if you want to put it that way, is to be in control and have THEIR NEEDS MET, even at the expense of others. They could care less and most have no conscious as to what it does to their "victim"
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 80
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/24/2007 1:21:10 PM
mahogany....Right on....Player is thrown around to easily....A true player has a game, he studies his marks and he knows where he's taking it. He knows the rules of his game but never would tell his victim. He says all the right things, does all the right things to gain his victims trust and admiration, then he manipulates that person to the his score.......one never knows what his score is or was, until the game is over and maybe not even then, he's not a braggart...........and then he moves on to his next victim. (and I can only speak from a female point of view, so don't bash the messenger)

His game could be sex, a place to stay, money, connections, business, but he always has a goal. A real player has no compassion or emotion connected to his game or who he is playing ....they are just a means to his goal. True narcissistic personal disorder.
 RiverGirl74
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 81
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/24/2007 1:59:28 PM
Funny this thread came up. I had an innnnnnnnnnnteresting chat with a guy I met a while back. Come to find out, he was an "aquaintance" of this FB I had for 3 yrs. I say hes an FB, but back in the day, I didnt see it like that. Hindsight is always 20/20. The topic came up as we were talking about professions, and he is an ex cop. I had told him I had a few friends who worked out of one of the jails and he asked who. When I told him his name and the nickname he went by, he started laughing. And I mean laughing HARD. The guy was a total player. Even to the point of finding out about some things he was legally going thru that thru him from patrol to jail at the courthouse. I wasnt the only one he played, which I pretty much figured, but I was young then. The new guy I was talking to told me a few stories about when the group of "bad boys" would go out to the country bars. Anyway, long story short, he devuldged alot of this guys "game" plays. I just shook my head and thanked God that my bullsh.it detector is in full force, thanks to age and life lessons..hehe.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 86
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:41:15 PM

Honestly OP do you really think that anyone that's a true "player" is going to come into this thread and out themselves?. The only ones that going to be coming in will be people who think they were "played" at some point. Which you can find pages and pages of those threads just from typing in the word "player" in a search.


TDH, I'm with you. First of all, I don't believe there are "players" with much game out there anywhere. I can spot them, avoid them, ignore them, etc., and if I can ~ they aren't all that proficient at what they are attempting to do. Furthermore, maybe someone thinks I'm a player. I don't know and I really don't care. I once dated and I called it "frenzy dating" at the time. I lied to no one, had sex with none of them, but I made it VERY clear they were not a club of one in my life. Today, I don't date at all ~ maybe I'm a retired perceived player. I know one TRUE player. I married him. He turned in his player-card the day he met me. He stopped the mass quantities of dating, he stopped the phone callers, he stopped being in a position to meet multiple women and I was it. I have NO doubt, he was honest, faithful and completely/entirely married to one person ~ me. So, I'm not one to believe in players. People are who/what they are. Just because John/Jane Doe has a penchant for the opposite sex, doesn't mean they are players. They just don't feel the need to be latched to one person. Now married folks playing online ~ not players ~ liars. Big difference in my mind. JMO
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 87
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:25:27 PM
"Player" the catch fraze of the month on pof. I remember when it was "stalker" , then for awhile it was "red flag" ,"shallow" all these word seem to get a turn when it comes to online dating. So the hot word right now is "player". If you're talking to more than one person online you're a "player" . Married and stepping out on your SO, you're a "player" . Involved in a relationship and trying to get a little sumthin sumthin on the side "player". Funny thing is most of these thread are about common everyday liar and cheating scumbags.

But it sounds alot better if we say we were "played" after all what chance did we have against the big bad "player" ?. By saying we got "played" we can absolve ourselves of any responsibility in a given senario.

think about it, If a woman says she got tricked out of her victoria secrets by a cheating married piece of crap, she has to take some responsibility for not doing her homework and falling for his BS. But label the same guy a "player" and she is automatically looked at as a dansel in distress, who was used and abused and was quite powerless to do anything about it.

Play on imaginary "playa"
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 90
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:18:59 AM
I do believe there are a lot of "wanna be" players on the Internet, but with a bit of experience, it doesn't take long to sort them out for discards. But in the mean time, one might develop a bitter taste in their mouth, from the learning experience.

The new people to Internet dating may be a bit naive and maybe thats why the wanna be's seem to converge on new profiles, looking for that new, not so experienced naive person, who will believe their BS.

When I first signed up on my very first singles dating site, naive as I was, I thought most folks were like me, honest good people, what they told you was who they were, looking to find someone to date or share a life with and I thought this was the greatest thing since Grandma's apple pie.

But after a few of the learning lessons, I discovered there were a lot of folks out here, who liked to play games with others, lie about their intentions, lie about who they were, were very dishonest about what they were seeking and who they were in reality. Doesn't make the whole bushel of apples bad, but it sure makes one inspect the rest real close, looking for those signs of rot and we get very leery of even the smallest blemishes.

In real life we can see body language, facial expressions, eye avoidance and voice tones, all the signs we are taught to read in seeking a comfort zone with another. On the Internet all we have are typed words or phone voices and its much harder to gage, so of course we get taken in at times. That being said, we develop a dislike and intolerance for people who are less than honest. It's human nature. No one likes dishonest people, being lied to or mislead.

Some just like to "play" with others, without telling them the rules of their game.
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 92
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:31:07 PM

I hate to break it to you no1b4me72 , YOU ARE A WANNABE PLAYER, and you think it comes from the silly rap/hip hop "lifestyle" talking about a epitome of ignorance, eh Hillybilly?


No sir, I don't want or need to be a player !!! I don't need to manipulate people. Only people with self esteem problems and/or a lack of confidence have to do that.


ah yes it makes you a player
im sure if you're having sex with these different women ( as you claim) most of them don't know you having sex with any of them, which means your LYING to them Playa


No wrong again fruitcake. If a woman asks me about other women or relationships, I tell her the truth. Any women that think men looking for a LTR or future wife don't date or have sex, is a bit naive and unrealistic. Maybe your parents raised you to lie, cheat, and steal, but mine didn't.


no1b4me
unless you're hanging out with the urban crowd(which i doubt)


You doubt wrong again !!!


I doubt you would hear guys talk about ballers, nice try though, advice STOP WATCHING MTV


Wrong again, I don't watch MTV, but its obvious that you do !!! Its also obvious that you came into this thread to argue because I called your bullshit in the other thread where you proceeded to insult and call a woman names when someone she cares for is about to die of cancer. Yea, your a real class act and it really matters what you think. NOT !!!!
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 93
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:14:25 PM

Mahogany Rush as a good point and I agree. You are a player unless you are honest and up front with the "different" women you bed.


Like they say, honesty is the best policy. Just like any relationship, whether it be long term, short term, or just sexual, communication is the key.


For someone that has themself listed as LTR you just outed yourself on your profile with this post. Hope all the "different" women aren't from POF. Ladies beware!


Yea ladies, beware !!!! Newsflash,................................ I enjoy sex. Go figure ????? But then again, most people do. Don't they ???

Well rjb888, I don't see how I outed myself in anyway, shape, or form. The fact is that I am seeking a LTR or potential spouse. That is not an easy thing to find, is it ??? Being in a LTR just for sex or just for the sake of being in a LTR is pointless at best. It has to be someone you think will fit for the long term.

So your saying that 2 people should get into a LTR or get married after a couple dates ??? Or that men should be celibate and lonley until they find "the one". Or that no one should have sex until married or in a LTR ??? I'm not getting your point. I think sex with a woman is normal and natural. And I like it, so I don't really know what your talking about. Maybe you've been burned a few times, become sexually repressed and feel a need to lash out. Its gonna be OK, you just need a hug !!!
 RiverGirl74
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 94
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:22:32 PM

What more could a guy ask for ?

Alot of prayers that he has a good clean bill of health?

This post just made me . I got a kick out of it. I honestly dont think a player who is on a dating site FOR that reason is going to out himself. He's gonna wanna keep playin' the game. Oh player, how you just amused me and made my day.
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 96
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:12:25 PM

You're pleading from a fools podium no1b4me72

Thats because your the fool I'm talking to. I was speaking your language !!!


what you think all us folks lie, cheat and steal? the very fact you don't know me and assume that, tells me your critical thinking skills are poor.


No just you. Who is "us folk" anyway ??? I was talking to you and only you moron. Judging from the way you act in some threads, my assumptions are correct. You are a big tough keyboard warrior, and a joke of a person !!!


obviously evolution wasn't kind to you, when all else fails use wit loaded with innuendo's to support your decision, i do how ever love the wit and know it stems from a lack of logic


WTF are you babbling about ???


thats your quote Romeo, not mine
and if you cant see where RJB888 is coming from then, then you are pretty stupid, and by the way on the off chance that your myopic, I live in Canada, most of us here don't watch MTV


And what exactly is the problem with my statement again ??? Her opinion is assuming that I lie and manipulate people, which I don't. Nor do I need to !!!
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 99
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:41:43 PM
Thumbs UP....to you gtadaizee

"a player does not need to build his/her ego, they are so smooth, so classy, so enticing you won't even know you've been had until its too late, your into the relationship."
"You can't smell them, you can't see them, some people can sense them. "

I've known 1 or 2 players personally, when I was younger and not so young...lol ...(guess those were some lessons I needed to know) and I can say....Not a one of them was lacking in ego or self esteem, it comes with the territory.

I'd say also, that there are quite a few people that have GAME.....and don't let you know the rules.......but if your somewhat noticeable.....you will figure it out in a bit.

My Motto....."Don't make someone your priority, who only makes you their option."

Tends to sort them out quicker than slower. And has served me well......not that I've totally learned that lesson.....or game rule, there always seem to be new surprises.
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 100
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:47:12 PM

no1be4me72, you really have issues. I don't know what you can do about it in Mississippi but I'd at least sit down and have a chat with Uncle Elmo ok? And you can discuss installing that indoor plumbing while you are at it and talk about ballers


What does any of that have to do with the topic ????


This is what the OP was talking about players like you, RJB 888 and few others figured it out, but playas like you cant, well more like minor league players, and I seriously doubt you are soooooo honest with women and telling them you sleep with other women


You doubt wrong again. So your saying that dating and having sex with women makes you a so called player or wanna be player ??? Just answer the question without all the nonsense gibberish !!!


Lets do a poll ladies, I would like to hear from some of the ladies, or maybe you gave me a good idea for a thread topic, how many ladies would be interested in meeting a guy who says he wants long term but tells you he does pretty well with the ladies and do have an active and healthy sex life with different women.


Whats the alternative ??? Be alone and celibate until "the one" walks up and introduces herself. Sorry, I'll leave that to you. I'll go find what I want in life instead of leaving it up to chance !!!


I wonder if any of the ladies looking for a long term would
1) run to you with open arms

some do !!!

2) run like Forest Gump, RUN FOREST RUN

some do !!!

3) call you a PLAYA.............

Then they can't spell player and they aren't my type anyhow, so its a moot point !!!
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 103
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:49:18 PM
Being sexual with noIbe4me72.....BTW good handle for someone that thinks like you do.....anyway........Having sex with you....would be like being the caboose on a train, waiting for that STD.......strain.....Thanks but No Thanks.....is what any woman of class would be saying....and not quite that nice....NOT ONLY NO....BUT FK NO.......
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 104
Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:56:59 PM
" I think mahogany has a great idea for a thread. Yes put it up my friend. I will be the first to answer."

Putting up their own threads are not an option for some posters. If they did that they would actually have to stand up and defend a position. Some posters are more comfortable just going with the majority. Starting a thread of their own would actually force them to blaze a trail of their own and actually have an original thought.

I know real "players" i have friends that had cards and turned them in, I have friends that's still hard core playing. Most of you people are just throwing words around, you really have no idea what a true "player" is.
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 106
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:13:18 PM

I see them like I read them. Trying to defend yourself is useless at this point. You publicly admitted that you sleep with many women at the same time. Thats the bottom line. Mahogany has made very good solid observations. Sorry you don't see what we see.



I don't have to defend myself from anything !!! I won't apologize to you or anyone else as I have done nothing wrong. I haven't admitted to anything. I simply stated that I do well in the dating area and have a healthy sex life with different women. Period. You seem to want to twist that into what you want it to mean. "Different" and "many" have two separate meanings. And "at the same time" was added by you. I say what I mean and mean what I say, not what you THINK that I say.



While I do believe that you do want a LTR, not to many women are gonna be beating down the path to your door once they read this post of yours. Sorry it's just a fact.


Women don't beat down my door now, and they never will, I don't want that. Whats a fact ??? If you think my dating life will stop because of this thread, you are very naive. It will end when I find the right person, hopefully soon.


And NO I have not been burned and I'm not sexually repressed. I just don't have casual sex.That doesn't mean that I would not be sexually invovlved, it just has to be with some that is not sexually involved with others at the same time.


Well thats your personal choice, and thats cool with me. But to be honest you don't know if the person your sleeping with is sleeping with someone else or not. You have to take their word for it. Don't you ??? At least I'm honest about it, which is something a so called "Player" isn't


I think Mahogany has a great idea for a thread. Yes put it up my friend. I'll be the first to answer. I choose 2 - 3. I'd be... run Forest run screaming.... " you a PLAYA"!!!!


Well first off, your not my type, so I wouldn't want you anyhow. So why would I really care what you choose ??
 no1b4me72
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 107
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Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:21:29 PM

Being sexual with noIbe4me72.....BTW good handle for someone that thinks like you do.....anyway........Having sex with you....would be like being the caboose on a train, waiting for that STD.......strain.....Thanks but No Thanks.....is what any woman of class would be saying....and not quite that nice....NOT ONLY NO....BUT FK NO.......


ROFLMAO, OK if you say so ????
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