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 AUTHOR
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 25
Favourite blond jokesPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Blonde walks into the drycleaners and asks is my blouse is ready.
The old man is a little hard of hearing.
He holds his hand to his ear and says “come again?"
No! The blonde replies,

It was mayonnaise!
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 27
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:29:42 AM
How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

How does a blonde confuse you?

She comes out and says she did it.
 brewswain
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 29
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 1/27/2009 12:36:58 PM
***jame$$ i am a blond and i still think most of these are funny !! thanks for the laugh***

James, the OP misspelled the title.
These are blonde jokes, not blond jokes.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 33
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 1/28/2009 8:38:46 AM
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.



Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.

'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.

'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.

'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.



'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.



'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister.

Her mother died, too!
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 35
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 1/29/2009 8:27:01 AM
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Hellooooo," answered the blonde . "They're watch dogs!"
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 41
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 3/11/2009 7:15:00 AM
My blond next door neighbor bought a toy poodle. It didn’t live very long though.
It died when she tried to put the batteries in it.
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 42
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:33:35 AM
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
Me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
Started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
The table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
Her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
Nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .. .
















'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
 txE
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 43
Favourite blonde jokes
Posted: 3/12/2009 9:48:35 AM
A blonde goes to the doctor and tells him she thinks her breasts are full of water. The doctor ask the blonde why she thinks that? The blonde says that everytime a man squeezes one her panties get wet.lol
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 45
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:23:36 AM
Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new
secretary (a very attractive blonde) in the office down the hall from
me.

She flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work,
can you help me ?" she asked. I told her I'd take a look and
proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear
plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.

While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk and digging
out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John and Tom, in the hall
trying awfully hard to keep straight faces. Suspecting some mischief,
I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.

"Oh, you mean the condom!", she said. "Condom???", I asked. "Yes,
John & Tom over there told me to always put a condom on my disk
before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses."

By this point, John & Tom were roaring, and it was all I could do to
keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5"
plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke
had been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked
(as serious as one could be), "Does that mean I don't have to stroke
it ten times or blow on it either???"
 daveg61961
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 46
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:01:22 AM
The following is a funny and true story shared with me by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School . In one of KC's classes, they were discussing
the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple.

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was
the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was
this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but
everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating ...

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this
country than one born by c-section?"



And someday she'll vote!



She probably drives now, too.
 torgo70
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Favourite blond jokes
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:04:52 PM
Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

They went to see a movie called "Closed for the Winter".
----------------------------------------

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
to rain and the top is down!

-----------------------------------------

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

----------------------------------------

What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?

A blonde going through a flashing red light.

---------------------------------------

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents
occur around the home?

She moved.
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