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 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 191
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30Page 3 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Well I still prefer men exact same age as me or I usually have the best luck with 2-3 years older than myself...but I think with some it is all about sex...the younger guys have great physiques, but for me...I like to match someone on intellectual level....no matter how nice a younger guys body may be they just aren't on the same life experience level...Also as a mother of a 16 year old son...when we are out and I see older ladies maybe 10 years older looking at him...it kinda gets to me...b/c i do not think it is appropriate and would not hesitate to enforce that law if some older woman tried taking advantage of my son before he turned 18 ( like a teacher of something very inappropriate)....sorry if that sounds horrible, but i am a mother and it is my job to keep the vultures away....I really don't like this trend and do not think it is good for society in the long term
 winnie_bini
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 192
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 4/15/2008 9:52:34 PM
Ridiculous. What does age matter? And why do people care so much more when its an older woman and a younger guy? Pointless.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 193
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 4/16/2008 4:06:09 PM
I'm going to premise this by saying there are exceptions to every rule.

That said, my experiences with men over 45 has been absolutely horrible. In fact, my friends are experiencing the very same thing, so it's not unique to me.

The men over 45 that I've dated would rather sit on the couch most nights and watch TV. If they do want to go out it's usually dinner or a movie, but most of the time they're satisfied sitting at home.... which is fine, but I don't think you can live a life from a couch. Men a little younger seem to like to keep more active.

The men over 45 that I've dated have been very impatient, condescending, made rude or controlling comments, and seemed to prefer a slave to a partner. I have a theory.... maybe it's because men my age had their moms home and doing everything around the house and for them. They grew up believing it was "woman's work." I've even had older guys tell me they hoped I cooked, because they don't and they would prefer the woman do the domestic chores and they would take care of the cars and yard work. (sigh)

Younger men seem to be a little more forgiving of physical flaws. Every single man over 45 that I've gone out with thought I was fat and didn't mind tell me that too. A lot of younger men seem to prefer a woman who's a little thick.

Most older men believe my preference for a younger man has to do with the whole "boy toy" theory, which is ridiculous. I'm looking for the whole package... someone who can keep up with me, doesn't sit around all the time flipping channels, and likes me for who I am. I don't date younger men unless I'm absolutely sure older women are their preference. One guy I lived with for a while who was quite a bit younger than I was, had been married to a woman who was 14 years older. Every one of his girlfriends or women he dated were at least 10 years older than he was.

I think the preference for a younger man also has a lot to do with having raised our families, put everyone else before us, and now that our kids are grown, we have some money to play with, and women my age are a whole lot more active than women my age used to be.... we're ready to have some fun in life. We want someone who appreciates how we've evolved and wants to be by our side as we sometimes feel we're experiencing life for the very first time.

Sharzi
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 199
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:06:31 PM
What society in general thinks has never had an effect on who I have dated. I am 51 and I have dated younger(as much as 15 years younger), the same and older(as much as 12 years older). I have never thought about how old they were, but rather did I like them, and did they like me.

For whatever reason I seem to have more in common with and get along better with men that are about 10-20 years younger. As to children, it seems that most of them at that age(31-41) already have children, and aren't real big on the idea of having more. So the fact that I can't and don't want anymore children doesn't seem to be an issue. A man that has young children would be fine, as they would already be in the world. The thought of being pregnant at my age is just horrible. I know some of these women older than me are giving birth, but it would not be for me. I have four, so I think I have done my part to reproduce human kind.

I will say what I always do about the age issue. As long as both people are full adults(not just legal adults, but adults in every sense of the word) and both are happy, it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks. If an 30 year old man is happy married to a 90 year old woman, and she is also happy, no problem. If a 30 year old woman is happy married to a 90 year old man, and he is also happy, no problem.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 201
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:20:27 AM
I still try to date people close to my age and sometimes I think I'm the last woman on earth trying to do so...
 GreenOlivesYum
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 215
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:25:18 PM
Women no longer need to look for older men as a means of money/security since most women are financially secure, so they now simply look for men based on physical attraction and other aspects besides money. I think there are many other factors involved too. I feel the older I get, the younger I like my men...but not ALOT younger, I'd say just 3-6 years younger rather than 10-20 years older. It really depends on the man and I try not to think too much about age but realistically, ALOT younger or ALOT older is a turn off to me, personally.
 GreenOlivesYum
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 218
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:13:36 AM
Harvey wallbanger, things are changing....maybe its hard for some men to understand that women play the same game....only with US women, younger men make more sense because we reach our peaks at 35, sexually.....and men's peaks decline after like, say around 20. That's not to say that I'd date a 20 year old but in selecting a mate, I want someone who is virile, young and will probably not die 20-30 years sooner than I will...in the future. It makes so much more sense for women to date/marry men at least 10 years younger.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 219
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/10/2008 11:17:17 AM
^^^Can't argue with that one! lol
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 238
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:56:26 PM
Yea, its happening. I say date whoever turns you on.

But girls, don't live in denial about the fact that any kind of serious relationship with a significantly younger male is most likely doomed to eventual failure. Enjoy it while it lasts though, there are plenty of other people doing it, so why not you.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 240
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:44:21 AM
Like someone mentioned earlier, it could be that 20 years ago, women needed someone who would take care of her and the family. Today, women can take care of themselve, their family, and sometimes don't even need the man in order to HAVE the family.

Personally, I have noticed men my own age aren't really into me. Older men adore me and younger men seem to be very attracted to me. Men my own age treat me like I am the plague. Most men my age seem to NEED a certain looking woman or they need her to be very compliant to everything he says OR he is wanting to start a family five minutes ago. LOL... I am none of those things.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 241
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:44:26 PM
I have never seen age as a big deal once ppl are of age...but as a lady over 30 I find the boys chase me...me not them...flattering yes but all I want is someone for the long-haul!
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 243
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:00:53 PM
Cougar, there is more to the story then merely financial reasons.

If want a man to worship you, for the long haul, then you are better off with an older man than a younger one. "Worship" is strong word, so don't read too much into it. Most women want their man to worship them. Ultimately, in my experience, that is what makes a woman feel the most special, is if they believe without any doubt that their man still worships them before all other women. And we like to worship you too. Don't try to deny it, you know that is what you love.

The kind of younger men that will worship a 45+ cougar are not completely mentally healthy as men(they are boys) and you are probably not going to keep them for the long haul either. I'm just being honest here.

Just be realistic. If you are 40, looking for someone your own age, then that guy is simply not going to worship you like he would a 30 year old woman, which is still well within his reach. He might for a short while, and he may think of you as a nice companion that likes the same songs as you, but ultimately if you want the guy to worship you above other women, then either you have to find that young man-boy with mommy issues to worship you as a cougar, or you need to find someone significantly older that still considers you a young hottie. I'm just being honest... Be realistic.

But if you only care about short time fun....then do whatever makes you feel good today.
 Piav
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 244
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:53:16 PM
I last dated a man 45 I am fine with whatever age (except jail bate) as long as they have good standards, family values,work ethic and we are a similar mental level.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 251
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:54:22 PM
John, you're certifiably insane if you aren't going after girls in the mid to late 20's

Joe, I don't know what to tell you. girls and boys your age are way too immature to take seriously, so i say, don't take anything seriously, go after whatever you can get and half fun. In about 10 years then you can worry about this more.
 JediLady
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 253
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:53:39 PM
I'd love to eventually meet someone close to my age. My STBXH is 7 years older and he left me for someone 24 years younger than he is. Talk about babysitting.

Where are all the nice mid30s - early 40s men?
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 256
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:02:34 PM
I hear you. I'm glad you are having a fabulous time! I love to hear about happy couples. I'm not way off the mark though, maybe for you I am, but for the general case, I don't think so. There are always exceptions to every general case. Congradulations on finding someone special, regardless of age.

Anyway, your age difference is not great enough in my opinion to consider it a cougar type relationship. But, nonetheless, it would be interesting to have a conversation with you in about 15 years when your BF is in the age group of those 50 year old guys you were talking about before. Enjoy the the ride until then and hope for the best.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 259
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/10/2008 6:21:15 AM
For the women that point out that women live longer than men. That's true, but the gap is closing as more women, who have been in the work place all their lives, get older. If women were to spend more time in the backbreaking labor jobs men traditionally perform, the gap would likely close even further. As more and more women compete for white collar jobs, more men are forced to take the blue collar jobs most women won't or can't do. That means even more older men that have abused their bodies to support their families all their life, only to be chucked onto the scap heap for a newer model by ungrateful women. (Because they aren't as fun as happy go lucky youths with less mileage.) I'm glad not all women are so shallow and short sighted. Of course men can be just as bad when it comes to women.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 261
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:44:12 PM
heavyiron....

What makes you think that older women are looking for younger men because of the sex? I'm sure there are some, but all of my friends and I are looking for younger men because we are treated pretty badly by men our own age.

Every man I've dated in the last 4 years over the age of 45 has been impatient, condescending, said very nasty things to myself, waitresses, and just about anyone else, they were controlling and wanted a maid, not a partner. I have NEVER gotten that from a younger man. They were more helpful, more apt to share their feelings and thoughts, were less apt to sit there while I did all the work, were more romantic, and less likely to treat me like just a sexual object. Believe it or not, men my age seemed more into looking for sex partners than the younger ones.

I got to the point where I kept asking myself why I was even trying to date men my age and promised myself I wouldn't anymore. I've been much happier ever since. And truthfully, I think sex is going to be good as long as you're into someone and that person is as giving as you are. In that case, age has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Sharzi
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 268
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:33:49 PM
MrSnapHappy wrote.....

>>>>>> My theory is that most women over 30 are divorced or recovering from the dissapointment or not having some other long-term partnership, with who they thought was their soul mate, live up to their expectations. They want a do-over and they want to feel like they did when they were 20. A suitably young suiter will help them complete that fantasy. <<<<<<<

Wrong. I already felt younger long before I started dating younger men. LOL You can't feel younger just because you're hanging out with someone younger unless you're totally fooling yourself. It comes from within. I have more energy than most 20 year olds I work with. They can't believe I can live on 4-5 hours sleep a night and days are pretty much non-stop. Hey, 50 is the new 30. lol I don't need a nap, I don't need a walker, and I for sure am not going to sit and flip channels all night or watch someone else doing it. I have far too much living to do and I'd sort of like a guy who can keep up with me. I haven't found many men my age who can, or who even want to.

I don't mind the middle age "paunch" - what I mind is the middle age "giving up." Far too many men my age are ready to sit down and settle for the mundane. I'm sort of hoping for a little more excitement than that.

Sharzi
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 276
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:09:26 AM
My first and only experience following my divorce was at a party in Costa Rica. This completely (for me) hot guy asked me for a kiss. I thought about it for a minute before I realized I could actually do that, since I wasn't married any more. The wind was high, the stars were bright, the moon was full and the earth hung on the precipice of the spring equinox. It was even Easter Sunday eve. I completely melted at his advances, between arguing with myself over it in the ladies' room.

Turned out he was a sound mixer for major motion pictures, 33, 6' tall, full head of longish hair , beautiful physique, brilliant smile, traveled all over the world, spoke Italian, French and was a very old soul. I even found out he was intelligent as all get-out. We walked four miles the next day, through rivers and dirt roads and the whole time I was thinking "well, that was nice. I really hope I can be detached enough to give him a smile and a kiss when I see him for the last time." I tried really hard to act like I was an old hand at this sort of thing. All sophisticated and New York, even though I was. until the night before, a born-again virgin in the rainforest, I stayed quiet because I was afraid I would just bust out crying. He was the most incredible person I had ever met after the most incredible night I ever had. How did I even come to deserve such an experience?

Well, I was astonished when he memorized my email and wrote back once he got to New York. He said that I was beautiful and he couldn't stop thinking of me. I panicked and started blurting out everything that could possibly be deal-breakers. I told him I was 49 (foolishly accidentally adding a year to my actual age), couldn't have kids, even that I had a criminal record for reckless driving (my friend rolled her eyes at this one.) No matter, even though he thought I was 35. We emailed for months. Seven weeks ago he wrote that he wanted to come visit me in Sedona and my friend suggested I look at his myspace. I was just about to close the window, pleased that it was dead and had no girls flirting, but before I clicked my eye caught the word "swinger" in his status. It felt like someone punched me in my stomach.

I went back and forth. Should I write and ask him and risk making things icky between us or should I let him come and ask him when he got here? I decided it was much more fair to both of us if I wrote. I did find out that they call sound guys "boom swingers" and wondered if it was just a joke, given his myspace was so dead. Well, I haven't heard back and it's been six weeks now. I guess I'll never know if I insulted him, made him feel weird because he thought I was being possessive or jealous, or he is really a swinger.

I've been all around this globe and met all kinds of men, but this guy was the most cool, charismatic and real guy I've ever known. Age is silly. It's really about the soul and when that crazy thing called love hits, it just is what it is. Still trying to find that place of gratitude and be happy with that, but it sure takes a lot for me to remember to be happy with the unknown, vast territory of dating and the daunting task of even making myself available to date again. Unless I want to be a hermit, I guess I have no choice but to take a deep breath and keep my faith and trust that the Universe is not cruel and does not have limit on miracles.

Anyway, that's my story and I finally wrote it out for posterity. I really needed to.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 277
I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:23:37 AM
webweebil wrote:

>>>>> I did find out that they call sound guys "boom swingers" and wondered if it was just a joke, given his myspace was so dead. Well, I haven't heard back and it's been six weeks now. I guess I'll never know if I insulted him, made him feel weird because he thought I was being possessive or jealous, or he is really a swinger. <<<<<

Everyone knows what the word swinger means when it asks for your preferences. Even if he is a boom swinger, he knows as well as everyone else, if he puts "swinger" on his dating profile that he's into it sexually. The fact that you haven't heard from him is proof positive if you ask me. It's one of those "He's just not that into you" things (from the book).

You had every right to ask and I would have done the very same thing. I wouldn't want to even go one step further with someone who was into that even if he was the most incredible person I'd ever met.

Sharzi
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 278
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:42:04 AM
Thanks for reading and replying, Sharzi. I wonder if it would have been better if he never wrote me afterwards. That, I would have understood. Why is it that just when you think that maybe you've just won the lottery, the other shoe has to drop? I question myself about my own instincts. I usually have dead-on intuition about people's energy/intentions and his seemed so good.

ETA: No one had posted to his myspace since Jan. He travels a lot with his work and works grueling hours (15 hours a day is normal.) So, it looked like it was started and abandoned. Ah well, he would have to be really sensitive if he was not and wouldn't write back to explain. Even that is not good.
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 280
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/15/2008 8:14:34 AM
Thank you so much for your words of insight, MSH. I appreciate the thoughtfulness and saliency of your reply very much.

It's wonderful to know we're not all alone in this dating experience.
 Angel_73
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 281
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I am noticing a trend in women over 30
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:41:33 AM
I admit i prefer men younger i dont mind men a few years older. I have always dated younger guys the youngest was 4 years younger which i dont have a problem with, my ex husband was only a year and a half younger but still.. I only dated one guy who was older and he was only a year older and he treated me like crap.

In my profile i say i want a guy 27 - 40 and im 35 tomorrow. I want a guy who enjoys the things i like to do for ex: most guys over 40 dont like going to the bars to dance and i love dancing. I want a guy who will be out on the floor with me all night not watching from the bar lol. I dont look 35 either and most guys who approch me are younger they think i look like im 28 lol which i dont mind at all lol Most (not all) guys over 40 look older then they are.... i dont wanna date a guy who looks like he can be my dad lol

Also my ex husband is getting remarried in nov to a girl 8 years younger then him so if he can do it why cant I lol

Also to the guy who said this.....
the nice in shape girls in their 30's into their 50's become alot more horny than they were when they were younger.

Its not just the "nice in shape girls" some of us not so in shape girls in thier 30 are like that too for your information lol
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