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 AUTHOR
 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 27
yes or no? Friends with benefits!Page 2 of 47    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
^^ oops.



Nice Persian cat by the way!


hmmm funny the conclusion I could draw from that


You can draw a conclusion from that!!??

 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 28
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 11:04:19 AM
1)FWB IS a relationship!

2)FWB USUALLY doesn't work.....1 or both admittedly or not are negatively affected,there are consequences to having "non emotional sex" that are OFTEN unnoticed obsiticles to future relationships.

3)There are some circumstances in which a FWB could work...but very very rare

4)at the end of the day,after ending a FWB relationship it becomes just another type of relationship that failed.

5)Having a series of FWB should be a HUGE RED FLAG to ANYONE wanting more as should being in a series of anykind of dysfunction

 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 29
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 11:11:02 AM
I have a male friend (actually one of my best friends) and has had "benefits" sex. He was never any happier. I said well why do it?..his reply "tired of w**nking meself.. Almost seems no different than needing to take a d.ump
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 30
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 12:20:39 PM
"I have a problem with a segment of the older crowd criticizing FWB. Based on your age, some of you lived in the 60s and 70s, and I'm assuming a lot of you went to college. The similarities between those decades, college, and FWB are dramatic."

Apox...We were all your age once, and thought we knew it all..ya just proving to us older groups that things never change...we just know better from experience

M2 welcome back
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 31
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 12:25:21 PM
Very true, but then I'm deaf in one ear and daft in the other
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 32
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 12:32:29 PM
we ain't gonna take it, never did and never will, lets forsake you, gonna break you, lets forget you better still
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 33
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 12:38:21 PM
people try to put us down...talking about my generation...

Confucious says; "man who take girl on hill, not on level"

M2 LUVU2
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 34
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 12:44:03 PM
Hey nice cars Sally
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 35
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 1:18:32 PM
these things make us better or make us worse?

Neither, we are what we are, and they are what they are.""


Actually,as with any type of dysfunctional relationship...they add negativity,which nets "makes us worse". Now obviously its a choice.Still generally speaking FWB as is true with any type of dysfunctional relationship make us worse.


Are we "what we are"? Depends on perspective.We are developing beings(some seemingly more so than others
)Dysfunction inhibits positive growth,it can't promote it,yet the desire to recover can be an impetus to positive growth. In other words FWDs do NOT GENERALLY contribute positively to the mental/physical/emotional well being of people in the long run.

Again:

1)FWB IS a relationship!

2)FWB USUALLY doesn't work.....1 or both admittedly or not, are negatively affected.There are consequences to having "non emotional sex" that are OFTEN unnoticed obsiticles to future relationships.

3)There are some circumstances in which a FWB could work...but very VERY RARE

4)at the end of the day,after ending a FWB relationship it becomes just another type of relationship that failed,the difference being that it was an agreed upon dysfucntional situation.


5)Having a series of FWB should be a HUGE RED FLAG to ANYONE wanting more, as should being in a series of anykind of dysfunction

Don't believe the HYPE about FWB's......to an extent they are WMDs to healthy functional relationships
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 37
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 1:26:20 PM
I have to agree ^^^^^..We are spiritual beings, and its the spirit that needs the loving, the flesh is only a part of it, which we use to express love..Turn sex into a gratification for the itch is rightly in my view dysfunctional..
 SarGasm
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 38
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 2:03:27 PM
is it dysfunctional to hug a friend or in some other way show affection?

some people understand that sex isn't a promise, it's an action. admittedly, i don't go around humping my friends, but at the same time, having had a few FWB's, i can say that being lonely is far more destructive/dysfunctional than having an FWB around.
 SarGasm
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 39
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 2:15:13 PM
not just the lonely thing...but i'm a very sexual person. at the time, i was just out of my marriage, and like i said before, i didn't have anything to offer emotionally. i still missed the physical inimacy though...so an FWB was the perfect answer.

would i do it again today? probably not. not unless there was AMAZING chemistry but no relationship-type spark there.

who knows though...putting limits on myself isn't something i like doing. makes a person miss out on the fun!
 redneckgirl133
Joined: 11/18/2004
Msg: 40
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 3:57:20 PM
Nope...I`m not interested in that....I prefer someone I love and who loves me....redneckgirl133
 GreenyX
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 41
view profile
History
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 6:04:34 PM
Sex can become an addiction. FWB can cause a desensitization and an emotional sexual detachment just out of shear routine. FWB is a pipe dream and can create perfect candidates for the porn industry. Addiction causes them to devalue themselves, the desensitization allows them to go through with it and detachment allows them to live with it. I think some Porn Pimp Kings with a pile of money somewhere hatched up the entire scheme to keep the supply of fresh women entering their meat slaughter houses. They just have to pick them off the street, they're already trained, ready, with the perfect mindset. Just apply a bit o cash for the unsure, smile, laugh alot, make it sound like a blast of fun, and that about covers it. I wonder if the harvests are getting better every year.
 born2rescue
Joined: 10/24/2004
Msg: 42
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 6:33:44 PM
no friends with benifits hurts both in the end
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 43
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/17/2005 11:33:10 PM
Hear, hear, the cats smarter than the average feline

 KnightWithoutShiningArmor
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 44
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/18/2005 10:53:42 AM
I haven't done the "FWB" (I feel like that Village Voice sex columnist) since college. I think it gets harder after that. I have been attracted to friends since that time, but I've never acted upon those urges. To be honest, it was mostly because I didn't think the other person could handle it. It probably is much more difficult for women than men, however, it really all depends on the two people giving the benefits ;)
 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 45
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/18/2005 10:55:31 AM

A guy doesnt have much problem seperating love and sex...


Enough of the sexist generalizations.
 HARRY STOTLE
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 46
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/18/2005 2:22:20 PM
[This is another example of it. I tend to believe those who take the side of anti-FWB are the ones who do not have any consenting friends, but I will not make that claim, to avoid generalization.]

Now I understand the meaning of meaningless !!
 KnightWithoutShiningArmor
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 47
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/20/2005 4:27:00 PM
Thanks Red. XXX000
 ultrarider
Joined: 7/23/2004
Msg: 48
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/20/2005 7:42:32 PM
definately........casual sex....no strings attached or further expectations
 Lusty Kitty2
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 49
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/23/2005 8:47:53 PM
I think that as long as two mayure adults can understand that the sex is just that, sex, it can be great. It is hard to find someone that thinks that way though. I have found that either one or the other person always wants it to be more...
 smilincaligal198
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 50
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/6/2005 1:13:00 AM
no way. call me old fashion, but sex isnt fun without emotion. i mean yea, it feels good, but wheres the benifits? ya know when you care so much for someone, you get all tingly, and it just feels so much better. its almost like you can feel the love
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > yes or no? Friends with benefits!