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 vladtepes97
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 8
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
i was a SAH dad until the end of my marriage. we played, read, went for walks, did laundry, cooked and cleaned. the only real hardship was dealing with my then wife. not an easy prospect even then.
 charliemcsd
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 9
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 10/29/2007 1:21:52 PM

Have you men ever taken over the home economic duties and took care of the children? Did you find it difficult? Did it take 8 hours/day (like a work day) to keep everything clean, take care of the children and do all the other home economics?


For six months starting in Dec 1984, I was a stay at home father to my three young children ranging in age from 1.5 to 5. I had just lost my job. So my ex went from almost full time to full time to support the household.

I had a great time with my kids and tending to the household chores. It was not difficult in the least.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 11
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 10/29/2007 6:23:17 PM
I have no children, but have babysat for many children of friends since my early 20s, and have looked after my housework, and sometimes the housework of my friends.
House work? I find it easy when I find a way to enjoy it, and difficult when I treat it as a chore.
Kids? I find them fun when I make things fun for them, when I am patient with them, and understanding of their perspective on life. I also find that if I do this, they are often only too willing to do what is asked of them. Sometimes I do this, and at other times, I find it difficult.

I would just like to add that I worked with several women who dressed the children, made their husband and children breakfast and a packed lunch, took the children to school, cleaned the house, the laundry and ironing, picked the kids up from school, made them dinner, EVERY DAY, did the shopping, and everything else, and did a part-time job for 6 hours a shift 3 days a week as well, which is where I met them. Some of these women managed to clean & hoover the house top to bottom, EVERY DAY. All of these women were in shape. Not an ounce of fat on them.

That's my $0.02
 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 12
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 10/29/2007 8:03:43 PM

Think a minute.... Do Women find housework and raising children difficult? What would make it any different for the male species?


Actually, this is one where there is a biological gender difference. Women do find it easier than men, that's a pretty well researched fact. It's even true across mammalian species. Men CAN do the work, and just as well. But it is also true that it can have a long term negative impact on a man's health. For example, if a man is thrown into a situation as a primary caregiver for a child, his testosterone level will drop quite a bit. This is a very negative situation for a man's health. He also tends to run at a higher stress level because it takes more concentration for him to operate in that role. The chronic stress is also detrimental. That happens to both sexes but more to men.

That said, I agree with OP some. I have been a custodial parent for 14 years. The day to day work isn't that hard as work. But I agree with the others that two weeks isn't enough to know how hard it is. Maybe it's a mistake to call it hard work, it's hard responsibility. I think the OP and other's are just talking across semantics. The OP admits the responsibility issue. But OP, think, people do often call responsibility work. That's why managers get paid more than the people working under them.
 NancyC123
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 13
Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 10/30/2007 4:13:32 AM
ubkobalt, you ain't right!!!
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 16
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 10/30/2007 2:20:22 PM
I don't like housework...but it has to be done. I am always amazed at how dirty kids can get clothes...and how many clothes they can go through in a couple of days.

I've never watched soap operas and even the 2 years I was home with my daughter before I went back to school I didn't have time to watch much of anything... I was nursing to begin with...every 2-3 hours, diapers, housework, planning meals once she was eating real food (kids need to eat more often than adults..3 meals and snacks) bathing, Braiding her hair every night before bed, bedtime stories, picking up toys, yardwork, shopping with a kid can be an exercise in stress, especially between the ages of 2 and 4. I am not much into takeout or microwave meals, I work full time, and still cook from scratch almost every day, make lunches, do laundry, mending, sit down with my daughter with her homework every night, I'm on the PTA and try to be involved in her school, taking her to swimming lessons, dance lessons... listening to her problems. I also have to make decisions about how she is growing emotionally and if she needs more or less responsibility. We just moved to a new city and she is having some trouble adjusting to meeting new friends...that weighs on my mind a lot. I am also on the Board of Directors at my co-op too, and am Maintenance chair, and interim Treasurer.

My day starts at 6am...and I am lucky if I have everything done by 10pm. Tonight I have to finish her Halloween costume and make 30 toffee apples to send to school with her in the morning...

No just watching kids and doing basic housekeeping isn't a massive job, but there is a lot more to it when you are in the middle of raising children. Their lives...their growth and feelings and experiences and troubles become your own. You are always thinking about them...and how you can be a better parent, did you handle this situation right or should you approach it differently next time. No matter how you feel you have to be there and be available...I remember when both me and my daughter had the flu...she was just 5, and scared because she had never been that sick before...I stayed by her side all night as she woke up crying and throwing up. That was tough...I just wanted to crawl into bed and fell sorry for myself... but that's not how it works when you have a child.

As for men and women being different...I really don't know if either finds it harder... I do know the image of a person sitting on their butts, watching tv and playing with the kids is not my experience of parenthood and keeping a home together. I still wouldn't trade it for the world.
 beerbag
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 17
Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 10/30/2007 2:31:52 PM
yes we do and we are all thankful woman have such excellent sammich making skills
 wingding75
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 18
Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 11/28/2007 6:03:35 AM
House work and taking care of children is a big responsibility but it's not difficult. It's much easier to stay at home and take care of children than it is to work 8 hours/day + 2 hour comute + take care of yard work and kids when you get home. Stay at home moms have it easy. Plenty of time to watch Oprah.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 21
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:45:21 PM
i think it depends on the level of parental involvement in the children's lives.

some parents can send them off to school, have someone else meet them at the bus stop, let them watch tv, microwave something for dinner and let them watch more tv.

then you have the parents who make sure homework gets done, go to parent-teacher meetings, volunteer at school, organize 'wind-down' activities, prepare real food, cart them from one activity to the next etc.

i used to teach middle school and, believe me, the difference really, really shows.
 beerbag
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 22
Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:56:39 PM
yep, it gets in the way of my beer drinking, video game playing, sports watching and ball scratching.
 wingding75
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 24
Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 12/1/2007 7:20:22 AM
MSG 56



BOO HOO. To those women that are stay at home mom and have a husband come home and help in the evening...you have it even easier.
Let's re-evaluate and figure how much down time you had....about 3 hours between breakfast and lunch...another couple during the nap...watching them play in the afternoon is hardly work...let's say another 1 at least.
That's 6 HOURS of down time...and don't TRY to deny it b/c I'm a single dad. I DO this on my days off.
Now let's see...Husband that works full time...15 min coffee break in the morning...1hour lunch...15 minutes in the afternoon...
His downtime is 1.5 hours.

And there are stay at home moms that COMPLAIN that their husband doesn't help out enough????

CRY ME A RIVER.


I couldn't agree more.

For the posters who think it's so difficult: If you are having such difficulty raising your children then you likely suck as a parent. I've raised kids before from past girlfriends and there was nothing to it. Tantrums, dirty messes, accidents, house work all done is a few hours each day. The rest is supervision. Sure is it's a great responsibility like the OP said but it's NOT work.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 26
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 12/1/2007 12:39:29 PM
With all due respect motherhood is not a job that's substance can be judged in two years let alone two weeks. Some women get heavily involved in every aspect of their children's lives, others just put a computer and DVD player in the kids room and let metal babysit their kids throughout childhood. Everything is relative.

Thanks for focusing on me Mom!
 hd321
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 27
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Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 12/1/2007 1:25:48 PM
When the oldest 2 of our last 3 were small and I was pregnant with the last one, my husband was staying home with the babies while I went to work. It was his first time caring for them on his own. They were almost 2 and barely 1. I was happy because I was up at 4 am and off to work! Yea me! I got a phone call at 1 pm. He was calling just to let me know how much he appreciated eveything that I did at home and how there was always dinner on the table. He was in the middle of cleaning up a large bottle of honey off the floor and the babies were still in their PJ's. He hadn't been able to get dressed yet either. He did have one load of laundry running but we had to do at least 3 a day to keep up (we had 4 at home, 2 were in school). I had been having a rough day at work (I was an ICU nurse and 8 months pregnant). After hearing what the babies had done (nothing out of the ordinary, just kids being kids), I was so glad I was taking care of 1 patient even tho that patient was sick as a dog!
2 weeks with 2 kids aged 9 and 4, is nothing! It is the baby years that kill you. You spend their older years just trying to catch up on the lost sleep.
 svj
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 28
Do men find house work and taking care of children difficult?
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:23:12 AM

And I've noticed some women with kids who complain a little too much just might not like or want their kids. It's not socially acceptable to say you didn't want your kids, you regretted having kids and you don't think they are great kids. But many people silently feel that way.
Just want to re-state that because I feel it's important.

Not everyone loves their own kids.
Not everyone even likes their own kids.
But since people that say so out loud are generally given the same regard as, say, Hitler...

If you enjoy hanging around with and raising children... even though there will be days where everything seems to go wrong all at once... odds are it's not going to feel like a boatload of work. You're too busy enjoying yourself to notice.

If you don't enjoy hanging around with and raising children... odds are it's going to feel like a boatload of work, all the time, every single day.

You can take out "hanging around with and raising children" and insert pretty much any task or goal you like. If you enjoy something, it's pretty damn likely to go much more easily than for someone that doesn't.

But that's just my opinion... and I don't have any kids. (That I know of )
So by all means, feel free to disregard it.
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