|CAUCASIANS ONLINEPage 2 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)|
I think you'll find that traditionally "Caucasian" features are considered the ideal of beauty in the western world. Tall, broad shoulders, sharp noses, angular jawline, light colored skin, etc, etc. This is not just true for African Americans, this is also true for Latinos and Asians as well.
The more "Caucasian" you look, the more you fit into the western ideal of beauty and you'll naturally get more attention from white men. It has to come across at all levels, hairstyle, career, education level, socioeconomic status, the neighborhood you live in, the people you work with, the people you hang out with, nearly all aspects of your life.
If your work and social culture is dominated by white men, guess what? You'll probably end up dating a white guy. People date and marry and have kids with who they see every single day.
I think this is true in many cases.
There is a social perception that black women, and black people in general, are uncultured, rude, lazy and have a giant entitlement complex. Is this fair? I don't think so, but I think a case can be made that many of the other races look upon African Americans as less "socially sophisticated" Again, I did not say this was fair, I will say this is the perception of many people out there period. It's not just white folks, plenty of Asians and Latinos have the same perceptions of African Americans
There are plenty of people who stereotype blacks and make false generalizations about blacks based on limited personal experiences or what they see and hear in the media.
As mentioned before, if you are a non African American and you are dating an African American girl, rest assured, eventually a black guy is going to get in your face. I lived in Maryland for a time for school and I've been out with black girls before, and whenever I was, eventually someone got in my face about it. Here's the not so dirty secret about black men and white men. Lots of black men out there, not all, but many, think everyone is intimidated by them. They are generally physically larger than many other men of other races and many are often very aggressive in their behavior. It becomes wearisome after a while to know you might have to get into a brawl over who you date. Here's another dirty little secret of racism that no one wants to ever talk about - many African Americans are some of the worst racists out there. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of racists of all colors and backgrounds, but black men who date white women don't fare all that much better from black women either.
Some black people do have a problem with IR ( Interracial Relationships ), but so do some whites and people of other races. There are plenty of instances when a black man has dated a white woman and some of her white friends and family members or even random white strangers had a problem with it. There are also some white men who wouldn't date a white woman if she has dated a black man before.
I don't know how much of a selection black women have with black men. Lots of black men are incarcerated, uneducated, under or employed and deadbeat dads. Lots of them are thugs. Lots of them are drug dealers. It's unfortunate because many are not. Many are good hardworking folks who are just trying to get by like everyone else. Unfortunately, I think this issue means there are fewer "good catches" amongst black men compared to other races.
This is true to some degree, but I also think it has been blown out of proportation. I watched a Documentary called "What Black Men Think?". This documentary shows the amount of blacks in college between the ages of 18-24 is about 4 times higher than the amount of blacks ( of the same age group ) in jail disproving a common stereotype. Also crime rates aren't the same as arrest and conviction rates. Many studies have shown that if a black man and a white man commit the same crime and have the same criminal background, the black man is often ( not always ) more likely to receive the harsher punishment and jail sentence.
There is also the problem that many black men would rather date the poorest, most unattractive white woman possible versus dating a relatively successful black woman. On the flip side, there are lots of black women out there who appear to only want to date the thugs and leave alot of hard working stand up black men in the dust.
I think in many cases this has to with low esteem rather than race. Some people of all races might date an unattractive person or the thugs because they think they can't get a better date.
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:07:55 AM
Actually, the vast majority of African-Americans are mixed regardless of what they look like. Genetype (what's in your genes) vs phenotype (what you look like). That's one of the reasons some really really dark people can have light skinned kids or the occasional dark skinned person will have blue/green eyes Yeah I know this. I was just pointing out the light skinned people. A lot of people think light-skinned blacks are only black. My great great grandmother was very dark with blue eyes.
Some people don't care about the race of an individual their kid brings home. Some kids don't care if their parents care. Not all marriages are approved by family members for a number of reasons irrespective of race. I know, right. And yeah a lot of that was "rubbish"
I have seen stunning girls of all races and mutts of all races. Mutts?..haha I'd be careful using that word because a lot of people look at that word as derogatory, just thought I'd let ya know.
With the interactial however, How would your brothers or family react if you brought home a white guy,?? I don't have any brothers, but I was raised CHRISTIAN. If you are brought up to be a truely religious person(or if you have morals), you know not to judge people based on physical characteristics. If anyone of my family didn't like me being with a white person, I know I would honestly not care. They wouldn't have to like him, but they better show him respect, b/c if not then they would not see me at any family events..lol
Thats just nature. You want similar traits to you for your off spring Then why do people adopt children who look nothing like them?
And no marriage will work unless the family can accept the man/woman into the familyThat is not true. If you listen to what your family tells you about your spouse, or don't stick up for him/her, THEN it won't work.
Many studies have shown that if a black man and a white man commit the same crime and have the same criminal background, the black man is often ( not always ) more likely to receive the harsher punishment and jail sentence. I didn't know that, but I believe it. And good points, by the way.
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:30:02 PM
It may not be a politically correct viewpoint but in my experience I personally think the "black community" tends to be more "racist" and less accepting of diversity than the "honkies..."
I disagree. Of course there are some blacks that are racist. Yet I don't think that blacks in general are more racist than whites. There are still plenty of situations where a black person is treated poorly because of race. For example I saw a report where blacks and whites with the same qualifications applied for the same apartments and bank loans. The blacks were more likely to be rejected.
The level of racist rhetoric that we were exposed to by black "men" when we went anywhere together (by people assuming we were a couple) was amazing.
That works both ways. The same thing could easily happen when a black man dates a white woman. There are plenty of whites who are against IR ( interracial dating ) and would stare at a IR couple or make rude comments about them.
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:09:11 AM
|One possible reason for OP's difficulties is that many women both white and non-white openly declare that they do not want white guys, in fact they detest them. With that strike against us, it is extraordinarily difficult to approach women of color. In fact I've never even heard of any woman having a preference for white guys. There are plenty of sites that feature white women and black men, but I've yet to find one with white men and black women. I would suggest to OP that it would be easier for her to make the first move.|
Speaking for myself, I would have no problem dating a black woman, if I could find one that was actually interested in me.
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:47:30 AM
In fact I've never even heard of any woman having a preference for white guys.
I have been on websites where a person can state their preferred race of their potential date. Many women including some black women preferred white men. In fact, most of the women on these sites either preferred white men or didn't care about race. Only a small percentage of women preferred black men or other non-white men. Even on POF, some women will state on their profile that they are interested in white men.
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:37:46 PM
aw u have a black sis..cute
It may not be a politically correct viewpoint but in my experience I personally think the "black community" tends to be more "racist" and less accepting of diversity than the "honkies..." Um i dont think so. It's either equal or whites are more. I'm not sure which. I just think blacks are more openly racist because they can be. Whites kind of hide it, I believe..only because they have to
yeah that's probably all tru
Speaking for myself, I would have no problem dating a black woman, if I could find one that was actually interested in me. that's good...but people really say they "detest" whites on here?? wow
well ur gorgeous so I'm guessing it's nothing about looks...so much
thnx for the advice.....and I've been getting to know this white guy Eric and he told me he'd be too shy to ever come up to someone like me. He said
Like sometimes I think a woman is way too good for me because she is beautiful. A girl like you for instance, I had a chance to get to know you, but if I saw you in a public place, I would think that you were too good for me, and prolly wouldnt even give me the time of day you know? i dont see why!? He's CUTE too
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:47:42 PM
Sorry but I would like to see this alleged report as there are laws that prevent discrimination in housing and lending based on race if this is in fact true the someone is in trouble...
A local newspaper had an article about that report 1-2 years ago.
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:56:12 PM
thanks a lot...i truly appreciate where you are coming from
I know what you mean. I'm glad you actually admitted it. Just like I assume a lot of white people are racist, simply b/c they are white, you assume a lot black people are ghetto, simply because they are black. It's just the way it is. I really AM trying not to make those assumptions about whites, though.
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:52:20 PM
|Heres a few things you havent considered. First of all the "people who may message,e" requirements need to change. As they are, you only want a tall white guy in the military who wants to put you on a pedestal and do nothing more then entertain and look at you, no touchy allowed. |
For some guys, black women are a bad idea based on the fact that black women have far different ideas on what is acceptable behavior when in the flirting stage.
When i got to college there were 3 black women who were really into me. However nice they could have been was destroyed by their ideas of "courting".
The first one would wait till i was in the lounge watching tv, doing homework, or getting my occasional meal in, when she would sneak in and play the piano, off key, and very badly until i left. Yes i asked her not to do that but she wouldnt listen.
The second one had the idea of sending her black male friends to follow me arround all day in the building. It went from everything to watchign tv with me, to sneaking a peek through the bathroom stall door everytime i went in.
And the third one encouraged the other two to do that stuff so id talk to her instead.
Untill i hung out with you i really wouldnt e abel to tell you what your doing wrong. Although you probably are broadcasting the "im a ethipian princess, buy me things peasent" that ive run into before.
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:31:32 PM
First of all the "people who may message" requirements need to change. As they are, you only want a tall white guy in the military who wants to put you on a pedestal and do nothing more then entertain and look at you, no touchy allowed.Okay, just because I said I'm attracted to those things, doesn't mean I'm ONLY attracted to those things. And I guess if that WERE the case he'd have to ride a motorcycle too. It makes NO sense. I'm not excluding anyone of another race or who isn't in the military. Just because I like how men look in military uniform, doesn't even mean i WANT a military guy. And I put the "white guy" thing because I know that a lot of white men assume black girls aren't interested. The only thing that I AM excluding are party animals, perverts, shorties, and men over 30. That's reasonable, no? And WHERE on Earth did you get the idea that I want a man to entertain me, look at me, and not touch??!
Until i hung out with you i really wouldnt be able to tell you what your doing wrong. Although you probably are broadcasting the "im a ethiopian princess, buy me things peasant" that ive run into before. That would have to be the complete 180 of me. And I don't even get how you would get any of that from reading my profile. Wow. O and one last thing-- those black females who you seem to be associating every other black female with probably had some issues.
REALLADY-yeah asian guys are cute too...but arent even more of them not attracted to black women??! [o and they aren't usually too tall]
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:33:17 PM
|Well, some of it has been said before, but krys315, here's my take on it (speaking as a 100% blue-eyed-devil cracker-boy, by the way):|
1. You are 5'11.05" tall, and you want someone taller. No surprise, relatively few straight women do not prefer a man in the 6'0"+ range. Right there, most of your potential pool is wiped out, and they know this already, so they're less likely to approach you (this has nothing to do with race, in anything other than a very indirect sense).
2. Bright red hair and the eyebrow piercing. I think it's a cute look. Not everyone does. Now you've slimmed down the pool again.
3. You're 18. Your preferred age-range maxes out around 30, but I'm guessing most of the guys in your social circle are younger. Lots of guys gain confidence as they get older. That pool is starting to look pretty small.
Now, let's try the other side of the coin.
4. Er, you are on POF. And you are a young, attractive, single woman, with photos posted. And a profile that makes you seem open, interesting, non-hostile towards the male gender and without enough emotional baggage to fill the Emperor Suite at the Ritz Hotel. Many "white" guys will message you because, well, many guys will message you.
All I'm suggesting is that you might have the causality backwards. It's not that you are not getting approached in real life by these guys because you are "black" or "unattractive to them". You are going to get a barrage of messages on POF because you are (1) attractive and (2) have informed a large pool of men that you are available.
And for the third reason:
5. Most people tend to be attracted to people who look "like" (in the broad sense) most of the people that they grew up around (there's supposedly some social science to back this up but I cannot remember any citation and I'm too lazy to look for it). I have no clue what the demographics of Long Pond, Penn. are like, but if it's "in substance" pretty segregated (like a lot of U.S. cities I've seen, by the way), many of the guys you are interested in may not have grown up with black classmates, neighbours etc. so you may not even register to them as a possible romantic interest. This may still be true, by the way, if you personally grew up around lots of "whites", if you were one of the relatively few "non-whites" in the neighbourhood. Again, I know nothing about Long Pond, so this may not be the case there at all.
(I'm using quotes, here, by the way, because I believe that "race" at a certain level, is just nonsense. E.g., look at your own background. By social convention, you are "black" but you might just as easily be "native" by a different social convention. At another level, "race" is very real, because it affects how people act and think.)
One reason why I answered this whole question is that I used to date someone rather like you, in the sense that she had a thing for the ultra-white-boy look (big surprise there), whereas she did not look that way at all.
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:36:57 PM
|I think you may be intimidating with all the crap you have in your hair and on your body. men like it simple. You're image is too 'busy' for most white guys. I have been close friends with a black woman.|
Posted: 11/27/2007 1:59:17 PM
You're not alone. Caucasian men are my preference, as well. As a matter of fact, I make that clear in my profile. I'm not dismissing other guys that may want to email me or approach me who aren't caucasian, it just so happens that I PREFER dating and being in a relationship with a caucasian man.
So, as you can see, you're not alone.
Oooooh, and me being somewhat of a "mature" age, I like 'em in their late 20's and early 30's, also. Yeah, that's right - call me a COUGAR! LOL
But, age doesn't matter as long as he and I can hold a rather intellectual conversation. If he can step up to the plate and go the distance, then game on! I'd be all for having a serious relationship with a "youngin' ". LOL
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:12:13 PM
I've been called a "reverse oreo cookie" and I was also called "the whitest black person ever known to man"...so hip hop and rap are as far from what I listen to as you can imagine. I'm more into Daughtry, The Goo Goo Dolls, Nickelback, Foo Fighters, Dave Matthews, Nirvana.....should I go on?
So, not all black people are into "black culture". Don't judge a book by its cover, okay? (I don't mean that to come across as me being pissed or upset - I'm not)...just stating a fact.
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:20:08 PM
So, not all black people are into "black culture". Don't judge a book by its cover, okay?
I agree. You can't assume that a person acts a certain way or likes certain things because of their age, gender, race etc.
Posted: 12/2/2007 5:42:22 PM
|Unfortunately, not B-DancerM....I still get the same one or two emails a week - IF that. If you are, let me know what your secret is. It could have something to do with the fact that I'm no longer 25...who knows...|
Posted: 12/3/2007 9:38:05 AM
The term "colored" (or as you spelled it, "coloured") hasn't been used since the 50's and 60's...it's not exactly "politically correct" (I hate THAT term, also, by the way, but I think I'm getting my point across).
Posted: 12/4/2007 10:20:59 AM
|Freud, should I be changing my mind now?|
Posted: 12/11/2007 11:23:18 AM
|hmmmm i still am planning on making that "U + Me = OREO" shirt...LOL at www.T-shirt.com i think|
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