|CAUCASIANS ONLINEPage 4 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)|
thanks a lot...i truly appreciate where you are coming from
I know what you mean. I'm glad you actually admitted it. Just like I assume a lot of white people are racist, simply b/c they are white, you assume a lot black people are ghetto, simply because they are black. It's just the way it is. I really AM trying not to make those assumptions about whites, though.
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:52:20 PM
|Heres a few things you havent considered. First of all the "people who may message,e" requirements need to change. As they are, you only want a tall white guy in the military who wants to put you on a pedestal and do nothing more then entertain and look at you, no touchy allowed. |
For some guys, black women are a bad idea based on the fact that black women have far different ideas on what is acceptable behavior when in the flirting stage.
When i got to college there were 3 black women who were really into me. However nice they could have been was destroyed by their ideas of "courting".
The first one would wait till i was in the lounge watching tv, doing homework, or getting my occasional meal in, when she would sneak in and play the piano, off key, and very badly until i left. Yes i asked her not to do that but she wouldnt listen.
The second one had the idea of sending her black male friends to follow me arround all day in the building. It went from everything to watchign tv with me, to sneaking a peek through the bathroom stall door everytime i went in.
And the third one encouraged the other two to do that stuff so id talk to her instead.
Untill i hung out with you i really wouldnt e abel to tell you what your doing wrong. Although you probably are broadcasting the "im a ethipian princess, buy me things peasent" that ive run into before.
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:31:32 PM
First of all the "people who may message" requirements need to change. As they are, you only want a tall white guy in the military who wants to put you on a pedestal and do nothing more then entertain and look at you, no touchy allowed.Okay, just because I said I'm attracted to those things, doesn't mean I'm ONLY attracted to those things. And I guess if that WERE the case he'd have to ride a motorcycle too. It makes NO sense. I'm not excluding anyone of another race or who isn't in the military. Just because I like how men look in military uniform, doesn't even mean i WANT a military guy. And I put the "white guy" thing because I know that a lot of white men assume black girls aren't interested. The only thing that I AM excluding are party animals, perverts, shorties, and men over 30. That's reasonable, no? And WHERE on Earth did you get the idea that I want a man to entertain me, look at me, and not touch??!
Until i hung out with you i really wouldnt be able to tell you what your doing wrong. Although you probably are broadcasting the "im a ethiopian princess, buy me things peasant" that ive run into before. That would have to be the complete 180 of me. And I don't even get how you would get any of that from reading my profile. Wow. O and one last thing-- those black females who you seem to be associating every other black female with probably had some issues.
REALLADY-yeah asian guys are cute too...but arent even more of them not attracted to black women??! [o and they aren't usually too tall]
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:33:17 PM
|Well, some of it has been said before, but krys315, here's my take on it (speaking as a 100% blue-eyed-devil cracker-boy, by the way):|
1. You are 5'11.05" tall, and you want someone taller. No surprise, relatively few straight women do not prefer a man in the 6'0"+ range. Right there, most of your potential pool is wiped out, and they know this already, so they're less likely to approach you (this has nothing to do with race, in anything other than a very indirect sense).
2. Bright red hair and the eyebrow piercing. I think it's a cute look. Not everyone does. Now you've slimmed down the pool again.
3. You're 18. Your preferred age-range maxes out around 30, but I'm guessing most of the guys in your social circle are younger. Lots of guys gain confidence as they get older. That pool is starting to look pretty small.
Now, let's try the other side of the coin.
4. Er, you are on POF. And you are a young, attractive, single woman, with photos posted. And a profile that makes you seem open, interesting, non-hostile towards the male gender and without enough emotional baggage to fill the Emperor Suite at the Ritz Hotel. Many "white" guys will message you because, well, many guys will message you.
All I'm suggesting is that you might have the causality backwards. It's not that you are not getting approached in real life by these guys because you are "black" or "unattractive to them". You are going to get a barrage of messages on POF because you are (1) attractive and (2) have informed a large pool of men that you are available.
And for the third reason:
5. Most people tend to be attracted to people who look "like" (in the broad sense) most of the people that they grew up around (there's supposedly some social science to back this up but I cannot remember any citation and I'm too lazy to look for it). I have no clue what the demographics of Long Pond, Penn. are like, but if it's "in substance" pretty segregated (like a lot of U.S. cities I've seen, by the way), many of the guys you are interested in may not have grown up with black classmates, neighbours etc. so you may not even register to them as a possible romantic interest. This may still be true, by the way, if you personally grew up around lots of "whites", if you were one of the relatively few "non-whites" in the neighbourhood. Again, I know nothing about Long Pond, so this may not be the case there at all.
(I'm using quotes, here, by the way, because I believe that "race" at a certain level, is just nonsense. E.g., look at your own background. By social convention, you are "black" but you might just as easily be "native" by a different social convention. At another level, "race" is very real, because it affects how people act and think.)
One reason why I answered this whole question is that I used to date someone rather like you, in the sense that she had a thing for the ultra-white-boy look (big surprise there), whereas she did not look that way at all.
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:36:57 PM
|I think you may be intimidating with all the crap you have in your hair and on your body. men like it simple. You're image is too 'busy' for most white guys. I have been close friends with a black woman.|
Posted: 11/27/2007 1:59:17 PM
You're not alone. Caucasian men are my preference, as well. As a matter of fact, I make that clear in my profile. I'm not dismissing other guys that may want to email me or approach me who aren't caucasian, it just so happens that I PREFER dating and being in a relationship with a caucasian man.
So, as you can see, you're not alone.
Oooooh, and me being somewhat of a "mature" age, I like 'em in their late 20's and early 30's, also. Yeah, that's right - call me a COUGAR! LOL
But, age doesn't matter as long as he and I can hold a rather intellectual conversation. If he can step up to the plate and go the distance, then game on! I'd be all for having a serious relationship with a "youngin' ". LOL
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:12:13 PM
I've been called a "reverse oreo cookie" and I was also called "the whitest black person ever known to man"...so hip hop and rap are as far from what I listen to as you can imagine. I'm more into Daughtry, The Goo Goo Dolls, Nickelback, Foo Fighters, Dave Matthews, Nirvana.....should I go on?
So, not all black people are into "black culture". Don't judge a book by its cover, okay? (I don't mean that to come across as me being pissed or upset - I'm not)...just stating a fact.
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:20:08 PM
So, not all black people are into "black culture". Don't judge a book by its cover, okay?
I agree. You can't assume that a person acts a certain way or likes certain things because of their age, gender, race etc.
Posted: 12/2/2007 5:42:22 PM
|Unfortunately, not B-DancerM....I still get the same one or two emails a week - IF that. If you are, let me know what your secret is. It could have something to do with the fact that I'm no longer 25...who knows...|
Posted: 12/3/2007 9:38:05 AM
The term "colored" (or as you spelled it, "coloured") hasn't been used since the 50's and 60's...it's not exactly "politically correct" (I hate THAT term, also, by the way, but I think I'm getting my point across).
Posted: 12/4/2007 10:20:59 AM
|Freud, should I be changing my mind now?|
Posted: 12/11/2007 11:23:18 AM
|hmmmm i still am planning on making that "U + Me = OREO" shirt...LOL at www.T-shirt.com i think|
Posted: 12/11/2007 7:01:44 PM
I think white guys are intimidated about approaching an african woman,, I know I am. just because I have such little experience talking to any of them and I don't know what to do or say
I am shocked. You do not know what to say to a person simiply because of her color??? Hi what is your name will not work with women of color? What are you drinking doesnt work for women are color? Where do you live does not work for women of color? PLEASE tell me that is not so. I get so mad at the white men who approach me as if I am some sterotype. Treat me like a desirable woman not a race of people.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:54:38 AM
|After reading a bunch of the post I see one thing. If a white man will not approach you because he is afraid 1) you will reject him or 2) his friends or family will not accept his choices or 3) he has never talked to a black person before (which I just must say is the DUMBEST reason on the face of the earth. GROW UP people) then he is a major loser to begin with and you really havent lost anything. |
I mean do you really want to date a major coward who cant be a man???? Or do you want someone so secure in himself he is not directed by the outside world??? If you start chasing men around you will come off as deseprated and easy. Be who you are and any man with eyes will see hopfully a beautiful young lady. You may have work at become more mature and to draw more of what you desire but THERE IS NO WAY YOU SHOULD ATTEMPT TO BE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT. If the world is under the impression that a white guy who want to be with me want to be a person who has no contact or understanding of her own culture then you are as lost as he is.
THERE ARE WHITE MEN OUT THERE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE WITH ME AND WHO I AM AND I FIND HIM SEXY AND DESIREABLE. I FLIRT WITH HIM AND ATTEMPT TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. AND AS FAR AS MY DARK SKIN GOES. HE LOVES IT!!!!
Now to all the people who are still using sterotypes to decide how to treat people then let me say this we have NO hope in America. Because the American public is STUPID.
We are doomed people.
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:27:33 AM
Be grateful that you DO live in a rather open-minded city! I live in NY and yeah, there are sections in NY, like say, Greenwich Village, where bi-racial couples are almost the norm, but other places in NY the stares are still rampant and the double-takes as if people have seen an alien. It doesn't even phase me, anymore. Some stranger can go ahead and think whatever they want to. I'm with who I'm with and if they don't like it, just don't look!
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:59:15 AM
|I definitely agree with your bottom line way of thinking, that's for sure! It's almost 2008, for cryin' out loud, why should people even care anymore when there's so much else going on in the world to be more concerned about!|
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:48:55 AM
|THANKS for all the answers. |
I do have to tell you that eventualy she did leave, and tho she never admited it I think that she left because of all the crap we got from other people who could not leave us alone, despite all of this I think that it was the best four years of my life, and I truly miss her.Aw that is really sad. I guess sometimes people just can't take it.
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:56:58 AM
That story made me cheer and also broke my heart!
But, here's the sweetness of it all - wouldn't it be ironic if those two a$$wipes had finally become two really big black guys' ****es??!! (I know that word won't be shown, but YOU know what I'm saying, right?!)
Hey, at least you had 4 wonderful years with your love. I hope you find that kind of love again!
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:20:32 PM
|Tombstone...I said I'M NOT looking for a serious relationship online..you missed the frist part |