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 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 4
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Herpes DatingPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
While there might be the rare exception, I think that generally people with herpes (and other uncurable STDs) should only date other people with the same disease, it'd be irresponsable not to. You obviously have something in common, it could be a good icebreaker.
 kitten23xox
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 16
Herpes Dating
Posted: 11/10/2007 4:40:33 PM
From a boroader perspective, yes!! Because, why spread disease.
From a narrower perpective, it should be up to the person without herpes. You should be honest about it and let them decide. I hope you're not hiding it, I really hope anyone with an std warns their dates. (probably doesn't happen though)
 kitten23xox
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 17
Herpes Dating
Posted: 11/10/2007 4:45:33 PM
okay, 90% of ppl do not!! have some form of herpes!! Where are you getting your stats? Percentages vary depending on the country and area. Worldwide it's 60 something (can't remember my biology text from 3 years ago). That's worldwide!!!
Mayvbe you're thinking of the chicken pox virus, that's in the same family as herpes.
 Lilymine
Joined: 11/13/2007
Msg: 20
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 11/30/2007 10:23:50 AM
I realize this has been over for a bit but I want to put my two cents in anyhow. I have genital herpes. see profile. I always put it in my profile. I will not pass this on to anyone. I got it from last bf. I really believe he didn't know he had it. Why? Because with his first outbreak he didn't go to dr. right away. By the time he did, he was in agony.

I didn't know much about it until I found out he had it. He called me long distance, while at a friends for a celebration, and accused me of giving it to him. I had a blood test and it came back positive. I think he would still like to blame me. Tough. I don't care anymore.

I didn't have an outbreak for the next 18 months. When I did it was pretty awful. I know there is nothing as bad as the first one but once it started they just kept on happening. I took valtrex during the outbreak which helped. In 2006, I had 4 outbreaks in 6 months so I went on valtrex as a daily med. It almost stopped the outbreaks and gave me a lot of relief. I stayed on it for over a year and recently stopped taking. So far so good.

Regarding should someone with herpes date only within that circle. Who can say? I can. I did date someone who didn't have it. I made sure he was very aware of it. We used condoms but one broke. He has herpes now. He tried to get all nasty about it, but he knew ahead of time. I would never keep it secret with a potential interest.

A man with herpes has to wear a condom and avoid as much skin to skin contact, in the nether regions, as possible. A woman with herpes is just plain screwed, in my opinion.
A man can't touch me unless he is wearing gloves. Oral sex is done with a piece of latex, called a dental dam, laid over the area (how romantic) and hope he doesn't nibble through it (or you can use non-microwavable plastic wrap) Of course intercourse requires a condom. Herpes is passed by skin to skin contact. I never know if I am contagious or not because I can be and not know it. Conclusion? Wrap in

Having this crap sucks. I make sure anyone who is interested in me is well aware of it. I have been able to teach people about it. However I cannot tell you, even though it is in my profile that I have it, how many guys ran like their ass was on fire when i told them. The reason they contacted me in the first place was because they didn't know anything about herpes and thought it was ok. I mention it in the first couple of chats or emails with them. Having herpes also makes you more susceptible to getting HIV.

I think the stats are one in five have herpes, sv2, genital. I am a smart, funny, loving woman but because I have herpes many men will not know that. I can't blame them. I am surprised that as rampant as herpes is that so many know so little about it.

Herpes is an std and the only one that does not have to be reported to any health agency. Everything (syphilis, chlamydia, HIV etc.) else does. Out of curiosity I contacted the CDC to find why. I thought their answer was odd. Because so many have it, some unknowingly, it is hard to keep track of. My thought, if it had to be reported, like everything else, perhaps so many would take more precautions. People could be contacted etc. like they are with the other stds. I don't know.

I do not want to live alone for the rest of my life. It is looking like that will happen however because I have herpes. It makes me sad and angry when I am rejected by someone because of it. I didn't ask for it.

The guy I got it from has infected two other woman since I was with him. He didn't tell them until after he slept with them.

There is a mild light for this though. In New York State a person can be sued for passing it on. The bad part is they have only a year to sue from the time they find out about it.

I was diagnosed 4 yrs ago and stayed with him because I felt stuck because of it. I found out, what can be legally done, because of the other two women he gave it too. I was incredibly angry he did that. He had no right to pass this on.

A pregnant woman with herpes puts her child in danger. Precautions have to be taken before delivery so the baby is not infected.

I'm sorry this is so long but felt it was important to share my experience. People with herpes should only date others with herpes. While precautions can be taken there is no guarantee. The medication alone is expensive, whether you get it just for an outbreak or daily therapy. It is $350 for either temporary use ( about 10 days) or long term daily use.

I feel like a pariah at times. and I also feel very lonely. Any questions, please do not hesitate to ask. I am only too happy to share info with you about it.

take care
Lily
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 29
Herpes Dating
Posted: 2/26/2009 12:29:59 PM
Just as long as like others have said..the person with herpes is open and honest about it, and monitors there out breaks it can be controlled and the risk of infecting your partner is very very small. There are many medications and treatments available to people now to to help control their outbreaks.

I dated a girl with it in the past...got to be 15-17 years now...and she was very upfront about it and we talked and i looked into it and did a little of my own research into the risks of being infected...and after learning more about it..it didn't bother me. You have to be more diligent and responsible in monitoring your own health and not taking risks when there is a chance they are experiencing the other person having an outbreak.
 cckch
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 35
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 3/10/2012 8:31:38 AM
Absolutely... Yes....
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 37
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 3/10/2012 10:31:48 AM
"Do you believe people with Herpes should only date other people with herpes? "

This concept is so stupid. Even if it was made a law, how are you going to enforce it? Plus, it actually would greatly open up the dating pool, since so many people who don't think they have it actually do.

Personally, I'd like to be a fly on the wall when the herpes-phobes open up their test results and scream when they find out that they have it too.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 41
Herpes Dating
Posted: 1/12/2018 7:13:09 AM

1 in 4 have herpes


Even if that's true, if you are monogamous and date a higher class of people, your chances of getting a disease can be significantly less than that. I would never date 25 percent of the women, not even close.
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 42
Herpes Dating
Posted: 1/12/2018 3:38:48 PM
^^^^^^^^^^
A "higher class of people"....

....ugh.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 43
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 1/13/2018 6:18:51 AM
"^^^^^^^^^^
A "higher class of people"....

....ugh."

Oh yes. Didn't you know?

Germs and viruses are VERY class conscious. They NEVER infect anyone who wears a Prada tie, or Gucci shoes.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 46
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 1/17/2018 3:16:23 PM
hemingway234

that comment about a higher class of people and being monogamous is rather narrow and ignorant. We dont know where our partners have been in the past and from whom they may have contracted the herpes and which can be transmitted even with a condom. Who has not had an unprotected one night stand??? Most I would say.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 47
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 1/28/2018 11:22:31 AM
Crap like this makes me never want to date ever again lol.
Unless the guy is basically a virgin
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 48
Herpes Dating
Posted: 1/30/2018 12:05:44 PM
LOL the title of this thread has always weirded me out.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 49
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 2/27/2018 4:24:13 AM
Have a lot of respect for the ones who say what they have....it's only fair that a person gives another the option and choice weather they want to connect on any other level than friends....but there are many with those issues and live with them daily on all levels!
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 50
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 2/28/2018 1:48:35 PM

Crap like this makes me never want to date ever again lol.
Unless the guy is basically a virgin.


You can be a Virgin and have Herpes.
Many kids get HSV-1 when kissed by a relative.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 51
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Herpes Dating
Posted: 2/28/2018 7:10:43 PM

You can be a Virgin and have Herpes.
Many kids get HSV-1 when kissed by a relative.

Very true. But thankfully nobody regards them as lepers.
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