Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > California  > Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 26
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Well, Dazzlemee, I'm dazzled! Very nicely said and sweetly too.

Not a hint of bitterness, and that's saying something! That's quite a heart you've got there, my dear!
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 27
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/13/2007 12:56:01 AM
Cooky:

I was talking being attracted to the life of the party types, but the balance of what I said relates to specific persons, and certainly not ALL life of the party types. Otherwise, I wouldn't be interested at any point along the line in someone who was fun and high-spirited, but obviously un-together during the initial first impressions. I wish I had said it differently, but I said a whole lot during that post and not all of it was articulate enough. My bad.

Ah, the limitations of text only and delayed communication...
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 28
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/13/2007 9:52:20 AM
Well Sock,

I must say that this thread is turning out to be brilliant! I _love_ conversations like this, delayed text and all!

 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 29
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:50:14 PM

I don't think anybody - male or female - wants to feel like they need to be rescued. Its a blow to ones ego, self esteem and creates huge control issues, in my opinion.


But isn’t low self-esteem usually the main reason that is preventing the repair of the broken wing? And as for creating a control issue: Who would be trying to control who? In my experience, the rescuer is the one who is being controlled—whether it’s due to the angel cleverly using the injury as bait to keep the rescuer’s attentions, or the rescuer is simply somewhat naïve and is barking up the wrong tree.



Creating a need that the person you're dating is broken and should be fixed is actually an unresolved issue within the Fixer, not the Fixee. Many of us have a very insecure need to be needed (I'm raising my hand)


When I see an angel with a broken wing, I am not just dreaming it up—it’s there all right, otherwise I would not have noticed it (… and thus been attracted to fixing it). * Okay, saying what I said in the parentheses was difficult to admit. So, props to me for being willing to embarrass myself in front of myself and forum spectators (those poor innocent bystanders... But I know they can't take their eyes off this train wreck of a thread). *

And I for one, do not have a particular need to be needed, but I am needy in that I enjoy being perceived as some sort of Rock of Gibraltar. I suppose that’s actually approval-seeking and collecting "you're my hero" statements like its a hobby.

(Then there's: "What would I do without you?", and, "I wish I could handle things as cool and calm as you do". And who can forget that all time classic, "You're my knight in shining armor!". Collect the whole set and you'll really have come save the day!)

But I am debugging my faulty programming these days, and am so getting over it…
 o4
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 30
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:57:44 PM
Hello. My name is o4, and I'm also at this meeting because I'm a fixer. It started out small. Just helping other kids in elementary school find their way to the nurses office when they fell off the swings on the playground. But it grew. By High School I tried to hide it under a guise of doing community service for the needy, but deep inside I knew. I just had to fix things. After getting out from serving my term for trying to impersonate a candy stripper at the local hospital (but I did look great in that red checked dress!), I ended up trying to help out at the pound. I figured that helping wayward animals was better than getting all caught up with yet another HUMAN fixee. .....I guess I had to come to this meeting tonight as part of the settlement from that little incident with Richard Simmons on Jerry's show. But I'm glad it happened, after all, that's what it took to get me here, right? ........Well, it was all a mistake, and I'm here to band together with you other fixers to go forth and fix no more. Thank you for having me...
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 31
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:58:05 PM
Boots

I agree with you that being the calvary charging over the hill to save the day doesn't pay very well as a volunteer. As you stated, it's best to leave that to the professionals (at $150 dayum dollars per hour). But I disagree that in a personal relationship, the Fixer is one up on the Fixee. The Fixee has the control and the power, not only over the Fixer (who just can't help being a fixer), but they choose to be a Fixee soon after learning that there are a lot of Fixers out there that are willing to play that role, thus willing to heap lots of attention on the victim/Fixee.

It is the Fixee who controls the entire dynamic of the fixer/fixee relationship. The distinction is that the Fixer is a slave to their role AND a slave to the Fixee (because the Fixer subconsciously gets off on being a hero/caregiver/nice guy), while the Fixee gets some rare and much-needed self-esteem boost from being able to control SOMETHING in their life, in this case, the Fixee. (The biting of the hand that feeds.)

What would best solve the equation is that the Fixer begins fixing only the Fixable, and that the Fixees begin fixing themselves, or allow themselves being fixed. Then, both parties could shed their less-than-ideal roles and view each other as equals that don't "need" each other, but simply "want" each other.

(Oh, look at the time... I'm fixin' to see you at Group on Friday...)
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 32
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:33:55 PM
^ I need to be fixed??? I think the last 3 posts helped accomplish that.

( * Overhead at Group on Friday... * )

Sock: "Hi, my name is Sock, and I'm a Recovering Fixer."

Group: "Hi Sock!"

Sock: "Hi everyone. Thanks for the warm greetings, but I am SO not a Fixer anymore, so this is my last meeting with you, and since Dr. Phil and happy hour both start in twenty minutes, I gotta go so bye now...

Oh yeah, just one more thing... Let's all promise not to promise ourselves or our dates anything predictable until we get comfortable with being who we are without neediness or needfulness.

And I'm gonna miss Group Fridays...

(... Not really...)
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/30/2007 6:33:21 AM
You happen to have found an expert on the topic, Sock man (just look at my name )... <---see


Do the Angels with broken wings eventually run from rescue once they realize that becoming “fixed” is uncharted territory that produces its own set of fears? Or is the fear more immediate, since identifying issues and “fixing” their aftermath is painful work with no guarantee of success. Or is their self-esteem so damaged that they accept that damage and have come to believe that they deserve it so they keep holding on to it?


Could it be an inner insecurity inside of you that would cause you to seek what is broken rather than fully winged? The variable of 'feeling beneficial' beyond the 'normal' -- (i.e. hey you want some help with that refrigerator you are trying to move yourself lady...okay a bit dramatized for the hoped effect of laughter...but beyond the normal--'serve me, worship me and your mine,' man...whoops that was not what I was after either [women applaud silently]. You get the picture I'm sure...beyond **just being yourself and this being 'enough' **(no bells and whistles).


And as for my role as a rescuer, I'm simply a nice guy, and I had a very happy childhood raised by loving, gentle parents that I thought allows me to share strength and easily give support. But I’m beginning to believe that what I feel for them is just as much empathy as it is sympathy… Deep down, do I unknowingly identify with them, but focus my corrective efforts on their problems and not on mine? Perhaps my altruism is really just avoidance behavior that I am exhibiting right along side theirs.


Addressed above.


How then to help an Angel with a broken wing to fly someday, and to help a helper to look out for Number One first (so fighting someone else’s battles won’t risk ending up with two casualties)?


Okay here I am...here is my broken wing. [I see the tabloids zooming in on me now]...does she run...or fess up? Will she loose all 29 men who chose her as a favorite? The tension mounts...which direction with Sariangel turn says the inquiring minds brave enough to read her run on sentences and poor use of grammar? or

I was committed to a man for at least 7 years that didn't even know my favorite color and who habitually sent flowers to me, but didn't know it was not really my preference in acknowledgement or gifts (unless at work so all those I work with can awe and oow with jealousy). So why do people kill perfectly healthy plant life in its prime just to watch them die on a shelf in 3-12 days]? Not to mention the cost associated with this murderous act and the sadness associated with watching rose death for an averge of a week. Understandable the tradition originated back when showers were not available and the fragrance was a desirable addition to the stinky lives lived back in the days before modern plumbing...but I digress...

I have this seemingly uncurable mourning over my dad's early death about 5 years ago and have spent tireless days preserving all of his things that most women rarely touch in their life time (yes I'm talking about diesel mechanic tools--you guessed right). I even saved his bolt collection (if anyone has a screw loose -- don't contact me though ).

So where was I...ah, yes fixing my broken wing. I haven't dated for some time due to my excuse: I'm too busy (what could be the hidden message there**wink**)...and it's no lie as I am the care taker of tools.

So there you have it. Now can you teach me to fly?

Want more seriousness from me? Okay. This is a poem my dad wrote for me before his death (I didn't create this on the whim of seeing your thread. This is a true poem he wrote for me [minus any typos that I might include :-p]):

Broken winged Seagull

I once soared high above with beauty and grace,
loving life as it is, without garland or lace,
going at will, hither and yon,
to one place or another and points beyond,

I see the others soaring above to places that may have been,
floating in the air with movements of beauty and grace,
now I stay on the ground with movements so clumsy,
not able to soar to a given whimsy.

Each morning I wake so happy to be alive,
and to be able to walk with my clumsy movements,
only to dream of the days,
when I used to soar above with movements of beauty and grace.

Now I thank the one who appeared before me,
bringing food for all with grace and beauty,
for I received food along with the rest,
I, the one with the clumsy movements.

I am eternally grateful that this one knew and cared,
that I too should live, the one with the clumsy movements,
for on that day, I, too soared high in the air,
with movements of grace and beauty.

I read this poem at my dad's funeral. He wrote this poem for me when I returned home from a date in tears (yippers with the man of 7 years). The man was angry that I wanted to feed a seagull that I spotted that had a broken wing -- during our outing. To serve my ex justice--it was an aweful long walk to a restaurant and the food purchased for the sea gull was expensive (at Pt. Loma).

Resuer sock meet rescuer Sari [which is not my name btw].

My best advice: One day you will find someone that is grateful and who will not run away.

I on the other hand should receive awards for my running abilities.
 KarenQJ
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 34
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:38:31 AM
Interesting thread that goes to perhaps addressing the conflicting male/female roles of modern times and not strictly an "individual" character trait.

Allen Bloom, author of "The Closing of the American Mind", postulates (if memory serves me correctly, for I read it years ago) that the male is primed to be the protectorate/helper of the female and whether woman like it or not, "rescuing" is a powerful incentive for a man. Or, as a Russian history professor once told me "empires are like men, they vant to dominate".

Then there are the noted therapists Pincus & Dare who state that "most of us have a "tendency to get involved in repetitive patterns of relationships". Psychologically speaking, it fits our internal roadmap for whatever reason.... it's comfortable, it feels right.

Maybe we are hoping to surmount a past relationship failure in the present one.... ie, this time we will succeed, and until we get it right, we keep seeking out the same circumstances. Simply said, practice makes perfect, so we keep practicing the same old familiar role, hoping for a different outcome next time around.

With that said, wounded angels don't generally stay wounded permanently..... when the wound heals, the bandage comes off or the crutches discarded. That's the way it should be. One should not be permanently in need of rescuing.

Then there is the issue of power in a relationship, who holds it, who wields it. Being "wounded" in itself can be motivated by a quest for power in that it elicits responses from the "other". Dependence, Independence, and Interdependence......various aspects of each penetrate relationships. I like to have all three in mine, contingent upon circumstances, and don't want one to define the relationship.

While I want to share the burdens of life sometime, I don't want someone to assume them for me. There's a certain amount of gratification and sense of achievement in overcoming and resolving life's difficulties, but I recognize it's not everyone's cup of tea. Autonomy comes with a very high price tag.

With that said, will anyone send me their tent when my ARM adjusts next month? I'm not asking for rescuing, just a "sharing of the resources".
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 35
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/9/2008 12:08:20 AM
^


… the male is primed to be the protectorate/helper of the female and whether woman like it or not, "rescuing" is a powerful incentive for a man. Or, as a Russian history professor once told me "empires are like men, they vant to dominate".
I can understand that a Russian history professor might default to perceiving dominance when examining a situation, but I disagree that men want to dominate. Any truly adult man (or woman) who wants to dominate a relationship is simply insecure and will remain so until he or she learns how to become a partner. However, a minor imbalance of power in a relationship is natural, and even efficient. I do agree that men are primed and hard-wired to be protectors.


… wounded angels don't generally stay wounded permanently..... when the wound heals, the bandage comes off or the crutches discarded. That's the way it should be. One should not be permanently in need of rescuing.
I believe that a person with depth of character never completely heals from a wound, and that their wounds leave scars. But a person who practices personal growth will not let their scars prevent them from once again taking the risk of getting hurt when trying to find love, but will use them as reminders to only assume reasonable and manageable risks. The problem is that some broken-wing angels remain in that role indefinitely, and some rescuers maintain the role as rescuer indefinitely. The onus is on the rescuer to break up these static, chronic relationships that serve no contributory purpose for either party in the long run.


Dependence, Independence, and Interdependence......various aspects of each penetrate relationships. I like to have all three in mine, contingent upon circumstances, and don't want one to define the relationship.
Wouldn’t interdependence be the only and ideal element needed out of those three to produce a balanced and working relationship?


While I want to share the burdens of life sometime, I don't want someone to assume them for me. There's a certain amount of gratification and sense of achievement in overcoming and resolving life's difficulties, but I recognize it's not everyone's cup of tea. Autonomy comes with a very high price tag.
Wise words, and even though autonomy comes with a high price, it is worth it.

But a relationship that is too imbalanced due to one party’s dominance or over-dependence extracts an even higher price for both. Isn't it a balancing act, and quite a high wire we tread.
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 36
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/10/2008 12:44:41 AM
Dofiagle

Wow. By sharing that, you have unwittingly revealed that you are indeed a Real Man, and I highly respect you for it.

I have posted in this thread as a rescuer and not as the wounded, but I’ve been both, and at the same time. I agree that nobody can relate to your type of loss unless they have suffered it too, and that their advice as to what is best for you is more well-intended than it is actually helpful.

I learned that from my then wife’s close friend whose son had on-going mental illness problems. I was at the institution one day when she came to visit my wife who had developed mental illness, too. And I asked her why she wasn’t more forceful with me and other family friends to try to make us understand the gravity of the situation she was dealing with when her son would go through his episodes. I now understood the frozen white horror of seeing someone you are very much in love with being wrapped in straightjackets and medicated to the point of zombie behavior punctuated by sudden irrational outbursts, court hearings to plan for eventual legal conservatorship, more appearances before judges to authorize electroshock treatments, trying to hide the tears when conversing with your loved one who is babbling in a bizarre manner, and other surreal sights in a mental ward that are simply indescribable.

My wife’s friend looked at me and said that until now--now that I was going through it, if she had tried to tell me what it was like to endure it, I would have thought I understood when in reality… A moment later we both sat for a very long time wrapped in silence, each others arms, and tears. Our tears were tears of deep empathy and mutual knowing, her tears were from my wife’s problems making her re-live the nightmare of her son’s problems, and my tears were for a feeling of hopelessness, fear that my wife would always be locked up and never enjoy life again, and fear that her very sweet 12 year old daughter just lost her mother, and fear that I did too. My wife was the victim, but me, her daughter, and her friends had become victims too.

One night, my wife’s boss came to the hospital for a visit. He and I sat in a cafeteria after his ”visit” with her. He was victimized and shaken since she was nothing resembling the woman that he knew. I tried to make him feel better by reassuring him that the doctor’s were optimistic (they were not) and she will eventually be fine and back to work. He said this night was making his guilt unbearable, and he told me that they had been having an affair for months. All I could do was sit and blink as the news instantaneously jolted me from rescuing him to being victimized by his (and her) behavior. I quietly said that we can all deal with that later, as her recovery is the only important thing at this point in time. He and I sat for at least another hour, and I promised not to tell his wife or the other employees and focused the discussion on what he and I could do as damage control on her successful sales career in anticipation of her getting well some day. (I remember thinking simultaneously that, the bombs just keep falling from the sky, and that I am a big man to set aside all issues other than her getting better, and that I am some kind of dam*n fool to be siting here right now. You are trying to help while you need some help too.)

The point in all of this is that one person’s wound can replicate itself like a virus and spill over into the lives of many other persons, including the rescuers or those trying to help the wounded heal. Cause and effect: One wound can beget many victims, even those who are only in the equation to try to help--like firemen who get hurt while they are acting as rescuers.

Dofiagle makes a great point when he says that a rescuer can best help by not rescuing, but by providing gentle, timely nudges of encouragement while the wounded actually does the healing work.

The problems arise when the wounded person is not trying to heal, and the rescuer ends up going to the victim role by ill-advised attempts to help someone who doesn’t want that help (whether they realize it or not) or will never benefit from it for whatever reason. (Um, the rescuer to victim role stars moi… but I’m learning…)

Since a wound can replicate and spread, and given the duality of all things in the Universe, the ying and yang--so can a well-placed helping hand. Let's show the love whenever we can so it too will spread and diminish the many wounds in this world.

Dofi… Let's do the chugs and suds therapy--it's a wonderful prescription. * hic *
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/10/2008 9:40:58 AM

The ones that really helped distracted me, broke me out of a tight spiral, let me get a grip again, then left me alone. The ones that tried to heal me, smothered me.

If someone's willing to heal it wont be hard to see. They'll be working on it already.




(Quite impressive and I'd agree). With my own mourning those who didn't 'point out' I was a basket case versus allowing me to go through what it was I had to ... helped me gain strength moreso than anyone else. There is a time for everything in life (<--just ask the byrds :-p <--the song turn, turn taken from the Bible actually).

The most horrendous of feelings is probably not feeling the need to heal another we believe is broken...but feeling 'broken' ourselves [<--feeling 'helpless' would qualify in this scenerio].

Our perceptions of another as being inadequate or wounded in fact might do more to lend to the problem -- than help it. We are all wounded in some form of another with blind spots we all fail to see. Just loving the person despite their missing foot or fingers [as Sockpuppet brings out in other words at the end of his post] is one of the greatest healing methods around.

Restoration should be sought out versus scarring, imo. We really can return to a non-viral state if the medication taken is as great a conquerer as love. The reality is presently all things end and cease to exist in time...including us (yet, excluding fashion which seems to re-invent itself. :-p). So our legacy left behind of simply 'caring' is usually greater than the actually money left to medical science.

Recently my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Taking this scenerio into consideration...I can't heal my Mom -- I can only love her. I'd give my own life for her -- but it will not change her condition. The same is true of other illnesses that would include broken hearts and emotional difficulties or life's trials we all endure. We will always suffer for those we love, but this is not a viral infection...but love itself and it is cured with love (a functional versus disfunctional cycle).

Hugs to the men who shared in this thread (whoops sorry -- I mean chug, chug: ).

Confusious say: those of us who jump over tall buildings for others not ready for the leap-- usually end up with sore feet. **sigh
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:35:10 AM
^^Hey no fair stealing our clothes [although as stated above--fashion always re-invents itself]. ;-p

Men hugging? **goes and re-studies man law to look for exceptions...and gets bored with studying. Catching myself from nodding off going through the one page of codified law...yet overly distracted by nude men...she merely asks...

but are there sharks in the water?

****************************************************************************

Not to embarass the men I am admiring for 'bearing all' -- It's good that we are not alone and all swimming in the same pond.

[and just one addition to man law: no men hugging when skinny dipping]! (as well I understand that cold water causes shrinkage -- no need to explain -- it isn't broken after all. ;-p ).
 stratoman1
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:25:33 AM
When I first saw this thread I thought to myself, "Oh another guy just like me, always finding that damsel to rescue and winding up hurt when she doesn't need him any longer or when she seems not to care about what good he has brought to her life."
All the stories are on pages 2 and 3. Seems that I am not alone. Seems that a lot of other people have spent countless hours sorting this out too.

Sock Puppeteer and Dofiagle, I just want to thank both of you for revealing yourselves in such a profound way. Some people think that men are impervious to pain and that we always just get right back up and keep plodding along looking for the next "Pizza". And, it's simply not true. Men do have hearts and they do have souls and they do hurt and they need to be able to heal just like women do. It is sad to me that so many women don't realize this, or at least they claim not to think so. If real women want to know the Hearts of "real" Men, here it is. Right here, in the posts made by you two gentlemen. Thank you for your eloquence and your honesty and your bravery.

It seems that many of us, rescuers and rescued alike, eventually end up with broken wings and as long as that is true, nothing will be right. We learn to walk one step at a time. Learning to walk "again" comes with the constant reminder of all of the falling and scraped knees and elbows one collects along the way.

In some ways we are all learning to walk again.
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 9/11/2008 9:59:26 PM

If real women want to know the Hearts of "real" Men, here it is.


I was about to suggest the renaming of this thread...to the heart of man...but I'm careful not to push the embarssment envelope. <-- U.S. postal worker code

And my dear man -- as far as pizza...don't knock it or be overly offended. With angels there just might be a method to their madness and greater thoughts held.

I'm innocent I tell you--don't shoot!!
 o4
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 41
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 4/25/2009 7:37:00 PM
I was thinking about this thread again Sock.

~ Nope. ~

There ya go.
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 42
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 4/25/2009 8:54:00 PM
o4, ya big chicken.

(Now I'm hanging out here like laundry on clothesline...)
 o4
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 43
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:16:32 PM
Alongside "Running Man", this is one of the best threads that's been on here ever!

But after all this time, it hasn't been out of mind. Was just thinking about it again today. And while I wasn't clear in my own head about this before, I think now that the answer is that we each have to take care of our own wings. Others can "coach and cheer and comfort", but the actual growth starts with the blood that is pumped from the heart of the person themself. I just need to re-re-re-re-learn this lesson time and time again it seems.................
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 44
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:25:20 PM

... why are you compelled to attempt to rescue? I have thoughts on that. If you are interested in hearing them let me know.


A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Seriously. In my case, it's the 3-year-old who was told to be a good little soldier, who sensed just how precarious his family was and realized that if he didn't fix it, it would never get better.

Just one slight problem with that: a 3-year-old is not equipped to fix a dysfunctional family.

Nevertheless, the need, the yearning for stability, and the drive to get it is never satisfied and can never be. That's what's hard. We're each entitled to a safe, supportive, and secure childhood. At least in theory. When we don't get that, it distorts our emotional development. So yes, I am twisted. The 3-year-old is frozen and can't get past it. Doesn't mean it can't be managed. It means that it has to be managed.

Other capacities develop, but not the one that allowed me to recognize that well-formed adults are consistently competent and caring. I still have to remind myself that they are on a daily basis so that I don't continually offend them. People don't like it when their best qualities go unrecognized.

So how to choose from a twisted-up 3-year-old perspective? Competent and uncaring, or caring and incompetent? After all, when we pick mates, that's usually the perspective we're coming from--the wounded parts, the needy parts, the twisted parts.

Hmmm, uncaring isn't exactly right--more like emotionally incompetent. That puts a bit more clarity on it, says 3-year-old Ace. Glad I checked back in this thread!

Anyway, as soon as I was able get free of the outside trappings, I set myself up to re-enact the same old drama. Seems there are plenty of people out there who can play the part of helpless and/or uncaring.

And those who know me often marvel at how I can be so caring and at times and so emotionally distant at others. The switch from one mode to the other is startling to them. I suppose it would be to me too if I wasn't so used to it. But it's a crappy thing to have had to get used to.

Overachieving as a way to justify one's existence makes for a lonely life. I've been told by competent and caring adults that I really don't have to do that--that my existence is proof of my worthiness to exist, but somehow the kid in me doesn't buy it. Every once in a while, yes, and more often lately. However, there is a difference between working out of a desire to share the abundance of one's bliss and working out of a need to feel accepted and worthy. The former is a blessing for everyone. The latter is what it is.
 RockSteady316
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:48:50 PM
Wings heal themselfs through time and deeds. and of course tender loving care, We who have fallen have the best and worst of both worlds. We shine to those who know and are respected by most even if they dont, We can change a life with the wisdom we share, or destroy ones world with words unspoken, This subject is I feel about touching ones soul. and to do that one has to have been touched. Believe me as I share these words for the first time on the information freeway. And as I do Please know I am no saint. Far from it , Thats what its about. Fallen, Broken wings, No wings, does that really matter. No ! Its what were doing about it. To what? Shine ? Get our ticket?
to be respected ? For money? fame? What if I was to tell you You can go Home now. Would you? What if I ask you to stay and Help after you got your pass, knowing full well that you dont know how to or where to even help. Hell but you know as well as I do
"We" always seem to be where we need to be , right? The names you've been called may have been : physic, mesenger, witch, wizard, even fortune teller or profit. Strange
wierd, crazy, lost, not all there.You are not alone. and yes you just maybe all the above. I can share this only for now because as we who have fallen and been at it for who's to say how longKnows . we are here for a reason and there is fear. Soon and those who know will know and stand up to be seen and those they have touched will stand as well. Fear of the unknown ? Well Shine all ye Angels and it will be known The time is near to Show the way home.
With that said ;
I say ;
Untill then
Keep the light
Shinning Bright
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 46
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:38:31 PM
How many healers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb must really want to change.
 MermaidSari
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:21:47 AM
^^it's how many 'psychologists' does it take to change a light bulb (never heard healers). :unsure:

People are not band-aids for others...and if we all were being honest, all are less than perfect and there is always 'something' another could do to better one's life. I still think it's better to come together for reasons beyond 'fixing' or being 'fixed.' (unless you are an appliance, mind you). *wink*

Sharing in the joys and sorrows in life is a given when love is perfected...and there is no fear.

I once had a handle on my life -- but it broke off is something that 'we all' feel from time to time in life. If a person is dealing with a 'chronic' issue...we bargain for more when trying to fix something that is long embedded into the other's pychy.

Flying away to get my medication now (they worry about me when I'm off of it...lol). *wink*
 fzrhusker
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 48
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:30:31 AM
Recognizing that we have these issue is not the same as fixing them, we took years to assume these roles and it make take the rest of our lives to undo it. Momanatrix had the best explanation I have seen yet.
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 49
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:14:23 PM
... we can choose to lean on the crutch of faulty programming and repeat our mistakes over and over or we can begin the reprogramming process...


Well, we aren't Turing machines. More like growing plants. Prune off a faulty branch and it will try, try, try to grow back. Those old ingrained habits of thought--the unspoken beliefs--need to be kept after and excised whenever they pop up again, but they're deep rooted. In most cases they simply have to be recognized for what they are and dealt with as symptoms. It's hard to do when you're freaking out--even if you know that you're freaking out needlessly.

It was a very bad day when I finally realized that my own warped judgment was the root of my problems. It was also a very good day for a new beginning.

I was in my 30s when my Mom finally gave me some dating advice. She said, "Don't date anyone with more problems than you have." It's very good advice.
 fzrhusker
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 50
Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 8/15/2009 10:18:03 AM
Old one
You are what you think you are.
If you think you are right or wrong you are right either way.
Show ALL Forums  > California  > Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?