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 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 19
Why I quit asking women out in person...Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

With that said, yes, when you run into a gal, she's going to have a guy "on the line". There are few attractive women on this planet that don't have an option A, B, and C in the background. Having options in the background does not mean they're boyfriend/girlfriend.


Only sluts and whores do.
 totoman
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 20
Why I quit asking women out in person...
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:33:36 AM
I'd like to throw a new twist on this. I met a 42 year old gal via POF and we remain in contact. But it has become very obvious that she has a tremendous fear of being alone. Get this: She tells me she is separated from her husband and dating but then I soon discovered that just 2 weeks ago she ended up splitting up with her boyfriend-- the one she was having an affair with in her doomed marriage. When I told her I'm not in a rush and really not emotionally available at the moment, she immediately starts talking to me about the affair guy and how she has feelings for him -- after basically telling me what a jerk and liar he was/is. So she makes an attempt to reconcile with him and trying to convince me why her feelings for him are real... he turns her down.... and then she informs me the next day she slept with her ex-husband! Or wait. Make that her legal husband. So after Mr. Affair backed out and her plans fall through to go out to her cabin, she actually tells me two days later as she is driving out to the coast that she was strongly thinking about inviting me!

We're friends and I won't get involved with her sexually... but if I told her she was the one and I was going to buy the store (give her a commitment), she'd jump. After spending some time getting to know her... it is quite clear she has a great fear of being alone. She has confirmed this with me. In fact Mr. Affair told her that also... this according to her.

The fear of being alone and being considered a winner in the dating world is so strong for some people, it ruins their life with poor decision making. I suspect this is what is happening elsewhere.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 22
Why I quit asking women out in person...
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:56:25 PM
head.cloud,

There are few attractive women on this planet that don't have an option A, B, and C in the background.

Only sluts and whores do.

Whoah! Totally disagree with that one. There are very very few attractive women who are void of men in their lives. I'm not saying sleeping with -- I'm saying guys they keep in contact with in the pre-dating process, or in the sorta-dating process, etc. In other words, you will be walking in as an option A, B, or C, depending on where you squeeze in. And if you truly hit it off, then the other options will disappear from her radar. It's particularly very common with women who "go slow". They go slow so they can play the field better, as they want to avoid jumping into a wrong situation and at the same time not get tied into emotional problems when doing such shopping.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 23
Why I quit asking women out in person...
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:32:07 AM
And there are attractive men without options? Really. Rich men or handsome men or men with game only have one options?

I've seen ugly guys have option A, B, C at times.

I am guessing you are referring to women who date multiple men while the guys only have one date. And yes they are sluts and whores.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 24
Why I quit asking women out in person...
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:07:51 PM
head.cloud123,

Only sluts and whores do [have options A,B, and C].

And there are attractive men without options? Really. Rich men or handsome men or men with game only have one options?

Almost all attractive single (or semi-single) PEOPLE have multiple options, yes. You called women whores for having multiple options, and I disagree. I don't think guys are players or male-sluts for having multiple options. It's just jealousy issue so people will throw out "slut" or "player" at will when they're jealous.

I am guessing you are referring to women who date multiple men while the guys only have one date. And yes they are sluts and whores.

Wow, your head's in the clouds. I'm not saying women who are TRULY datING multiple guys individually... but have them as OPTIONS. In other words, guys she's not a couple with or anything, but has been out on a date with, has a crush on, chasing, just got phone # of, waiting for the call of, etc.

Some women will be in the early phases of the dating process with each guy individually, too. I don't think that's wise, because her attention won't be there for each, and she'd spread herself too thin if that's going on. But even then, a slut? No. A tease? A better answer, and quite possibly, yes.

A slut is someone who sleeps with just about anyone with little time in between each different person. It has nothing to do with leading guys on, teasing them, or juggling options.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 25
Why I quit asking women out in person...
Posted: 10/9/2009 12:11:41 AM
You're describing a behvaior of men and women.

Not just women.

And a woman who dates multiple men which is what being in the early process with each guys is despicable.

i don't see men doing that as often as women.

and women who don't do this will always beat these women out when it comes to dating.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 27
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Why I quit asking women out in person...
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:10:15 AM
Trying meeting a online friend & go form there- cold asking or being asked is relies on looks, not personality
~sc~
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