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 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 712
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Do guys like single moms? Page 12 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)
"First, your stupid statement that 2 parent families are the real problem is just that - stupid. I would like you to show one statistic that lends credit to this. You can't. Everything over the past 59 years that you see on conservative talk shows and radio has shown otherwise. "

If you look at the data it is true single mother homes have a higher persentage of problems when looked at next to two parent homes, but single father homes do much better and in many areas do better then two parent homes. So here are some statistics for you on this. But it is not talked about much on conservative radio, because most of that is for people that really do not want the facts any way. See below
Back to the idea that one bad parent in a two parent home can be a bigger problem then there being a single parent home, well there is lots of data available to support that idea too, be it man or women one crazy parent in the home can be a vary bad thing for the kids.

Reuniting Fathers With Their Families
By Stuart A. Miller and Rich Zubaty
This appeared as an article in the Washington Times (12/19/95 - A19) and is distributed by the Texas Fathers Alliance

85% of prisoners, 78% of high school dropouts, 82% of teenage girls who become pregnant, the majority of drug and alcohol abusers - all come from single-mother-headed households. Less than 1% of any of these categories come from single-father-headed households. This seems to indicate that the problems children encounter are not related to single-parent households, but are related specifically to single-mother-headed households. So, should we blame the mothers or the fathers? Perhaps, neither. There is no question that father-absence has reached epidemic proportions. According to Wade Horn of the National Fatherhood Initiative, we must reverse the trend in 7 - 8 years or it will be too late to do so.

And, how has our government responded to this crisis? By continuing to drive fathers out of the family. It is bad enough that some fathers abandon their families, but it is unconscionable that our federal and state policies drive fathers away from their families. With 80+ percent of divorces involving children resulting in sole-mother-custody, combined with a "no man in the house rule" and "presumptive sole-mother-custody" in welfare cases - we are not blameless from a policy perspective. We must change our policies, practices and procedures to specifically include fathers in families. If not, we can be certain that social spending will continue to increase and we will be plagued with an ever burgeoning population of maladjusted children who will fill our prisons and wreak havoc on society.

Social research data reveal that our blind reliance only on the nurturing value of mothers is inadequate and misplaced. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, a child living with his/her divorced mother, compared to a child living with both parents, is "375% more likely to need professional treatment for emotional or behavioral problems and is almost twice as likely to repeat a grade of school, is more likely to suffer chronic asthma, frequent headaches, and/or bedwetting, develop a stammer or speech defect, suffer from anxiety or depression, and be diagnosed as hyperactive."

However, these afflictions were surprisingly uncommon in the 15% of single-parent households headed by men. A study of all state child protective services agencies in the country - by the Children's Rights Coalition, a child advocacy and research organization in Austin, Texas - found that biological mothers physically abuse their children at twice the rate of biological fathers. The majority of the rest of the time, children are abused because of single-mothers' poor choices in the subsequent men in their lives. Incidences of abuse were almost non-existent in single-father-headed households.
 heterotic
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 713
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:30:12 AM


Your a LOSER. Understand? A LOSER. Your the perfect guy to date a single mother because they are an "easy target" and you can't get anything else. So go do it. Better yet start contributing to "our bills". Have your substance go to another mans DNA while you always come second to another mans kid.

First, your stupid statement that 2 parent families are the real problem is just that - stupid. I would like you to show one statistic that lends credit to this. You can't. Everything over the past 59 years that you see on conservative talk shows and radio has shown otherwise. Let me remind you again - 90% of prisoners (male and female) in correctional facilities are products of single mother households.

Guys with somthing to offer are far less likely to accept another mans baggage as part of the deal. But guys with little or nothing to offer (hint, hint) will "accept" single mothers. Are you so desperate to get laid you would actually lower yourself to becoming second to another mans DNA?

Lol! I feel so sorry for you! That is so sad...


First -
You're means you are.
Your means your.

Second -

You are the loser.

You pulled exact words from Ann Coulter's book ("Here is the lottery ticket that single mothers are handing their innocent children by choosing to raise them without fathers..."), but you cannot even get her statistical data correct.

"70 percent of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long-term sentences were raised by single mothers. Seventy-two percent of juvenile murderers and 60 percent of rapists come from single-mother homes. "

To say that 90% of all inmates (which would have include those who have been there since your 4% of mothers were single 1954 stats) is totally asinine.

Furthermore, you only have responded to men, calling them idiots, or people whose responses appear to be less intelligent than your original statement, and your "rebuttals".

My guess is that you won't respond to me, or anyone else who is clearly stronger in the thoughts department than you, because you can't really debate. Hell, you cannot even get your data correct.

Saying that 2 parent households are automatically the better source of life, and the mother choosing to protect their offspring from an abusive father is no longer a good woman and her child will likely end up a criminal, is absolutely ridiculous. A woman should not choose to be battered for the sanctity of marriage. A woman strong enough to walk away from this is amazing. Some men walk away for no other reason than that they want to party and sleep around.

Not every woman with a child or children is a gold digger looking for the other half of an income to make ends meet with a man. I happen to date great men, some that even say before they met me they would have NEVER considered dating a woman with kids.

It is fine to point fingers and say that single mothers “choose” to be single mothers, or incite people by titling one of Ann Coulter's chapters “Victim of a Crime? Blame a Single Mother.” No matter what the statistics are, this is generalization at its finest. Not to mention that she’s alienating people that might otherwise give what she is saying (which is an important point) a valid chance. Worst of all is that she doesn’t get to the root of the problem. Yes, single motherhood is bad for society, but what is causing this trend, what is at the root of this problem?

Here’s an example from Davon Ferrara, single mom and entrepreneur:
"I was abused as a child. I lived with my abuser in my home until the age of 18 when I could no longer stand the sight of his face and could legally leave my home. I was alone, naive and fell in love. I got engaged and pregnant all by the time I was 19. My daughter was born. My daughter’s father wanted to marry me – and it would have worked out were it not for the fact that he raped me and turned out to be a child molester. Does you call this “choosing” to be a single mom? I would give my life to be with the man I love and have a family and a father for my daughter, but there are limits to what one can stand in the name of staying together. "

I know there are many single mothers that have done a great job in raising their kids alone, without being on welfare or sucking up taxpayer money, or raising thugs. Single mothers that have raised kids that contribute to society. I also know many married couples that could not control their kids and they ended up as criminals.
 heterotic
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 714
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:50:10 AM
Statistics are also relative.

Case in point: Divorce rates for new marriages is rising drastically every year. This leaves us with more single parent households. Only about 16% of custodial parents are fathers. Of course less criminals come from motherless households... there are less of them.

Furthermore, with people like the OP suggesting you stay away from a single mom - he is contributing to the problem he finds so disturbing - single motherhood leads to poverty and criminal behavior. If he is lobbying for change, should he be making sure all these "damaged" women getting married pronto, to stop the increase of criminals?!

Another missing piece of data in arguments the rise in criminals coming from a single mother... these single mothers that are lending their offspring to the criminal justice system are more likely already criminals themselves. Whether prostitutes, drug-users, thieves - how many inmates came from already criminal homes?

Statistical data can be made to enhance whatever your outlook may be, and is rarely looked at properly when opinionated idiots are quoting them.

Given ALL of the statistical data, then, it follows that we must look outside the family structure for the causes of crime. Instead of blaming single mothers, it would be wiser to direct our research at examining socioeconomic conditions, such as economic inequality, imbalances of power, poverty, unemployment, underemployment, and relative deprivation--in income, housing, health care, and education.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 715
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:04:49 PM
"Only about 16% of custodial parents are fathers. Of course less criminals come from motherless households... there are less of them."

But if single fathers make up 16% of the custodial homes and children from single father homes make up less then 1% of the people going to jail, that says to me they are betting the odds. Some times that is a good thing.
 heterotic
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 716
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:42:19 PM

"Only about 16% of custodial parents are fathers. Of course less criminals come from motherless households... there are less of them."

But if single fathers make up 16% of the custodial homes and children from single father homes make up less then 1% of the people going to jail, that says to me they are betting the odds. Some times that is a good thing.


I disagree. There aren't entire threads devoted to keeping single fathers single, and how many single fathers are going to end up dating or marrying an abusive woman? How many single fathers are criminals themselves?

If a man is awarded custody, there's a damn good reason. Single mothers aren't always awarded custody because they should be; and of these women they either don't get a fight from the father, don't know who the father is, or are just a lessor of two evils.

I feel like there is far too much weight put on the generalization of a single mother, and there is no way to know if the 2 parent household version of these violent criminals childhoods would have ended with them being good members of society.

I blame my parents for plenty of my thoughts and feelings, but never for my actions. My siblings and I all came from the same broken home, and while they want to sit around and whine about how they can't succeed because our parents got divorced and we were poor because of it, I choose to do whatever the hell I want, not including becoming a criminal.
 heterotic
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 718
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 1:10:28 PM
In case anyone is wondering:



From: telekinetic242 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: Your have reached the maximum number of Sent Date: 6/15/2009 1206 PM

"You have reached the maximum number of times you may post to this thread."

This is not a spelling contest. Pointing out "your" is "you're" does not make my opinions invalid. The fact that your spelling and grammatical usage is correct does not make your argument correct. Do you understand?

I would like to respond but I can't. Your post is too verbose and has no fundamental point.
 TheArmyLife
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 720
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:11:57 PM

there are so many single moms out there. yeah mature guys dont mind whether or not you have a baby.


Yeah, it's because guys who do care are immature.

It couldn't possibly be because they did a rational, logic evaluation of the pros and cons and came to the conclusion that there are a whole lot of negatives to dating single parents and essentially no positives.

Or maybe you think rational, logic evaluations are immature.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 721
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:48:14 PM
OP if you can make that man feel just as important to you as your child is then you have a keeper. Being a single mother offers a man a window into your honesty and shows how dedicated you are for someone you truly love, if a guy sees that you could love him with that honesty he'll fall for you in a heart beat. Too many single mothers make men feel like they are second best right on their profiles then wonder why they can't get a date.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 722
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:58:56 PM
Please see all the other threads along this general topic. Short answer, is that you will not die alone. Yes men date single mothers. The concenus, is that you should look for a single father. Makes everyones life easier. Freaked again concenus is some will be some won't. Can't put everyone into the same barrel. Take each man as he comes, then make your judgements. Good Luck.
 MusclePower
Joined: 5/26/2009
Msg: 729
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/19/2009 11:27:45 PM
depends on the guy.
but in my case yes.
cuz i'm a single dad.
and in both our cases i feel that our kids make for a great qualifier because it pushes away all the ***holes and all the gold diggers
remember it's ALWAYS good to qualify the person you're with.
like minds reach like hearts.
 kathityermom
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 730
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:39:23 PM
You know what? If they do, then they aren't worth your time. Yes there are guys out there that will date you and you just have to be patient enough to realize that the right one will come along. Hang in there.
 bgrumling
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 736
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:24:28 AM
yes definately and no definately. i know that sounds ambigiuos. but here is the whole answer in a nut shell, we like the woman, we like the kids or we dont. its all bout attraction
 bgrumling
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 740
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:00:03 AM
@aprilshowers 78 thank you: as a father of two children i have never expierenced the gold digging woman. and i am one that thinks i have kids so who am i not to date womeone with kids. I find that kids bring excellent fun and adventure into the world and our lifes. and the thing aboutdating people with children is you can let go of your inner child. (ie got to the park and play in the sandbox). (ie go and play in the water). and the thing is somtimes i have found the women like my kids better than me and i like the kids better than mom. the point is those of you who wont date a dad or a mom with kids are missing out. and for those of you who have kids and wont date someone with kids , that should be a redflag right there to all of us with kids. I dont know bout most of you parents but if my kids are not good enough for you then you are not good enough for me. plain and simple.
and the other thing about dating a woman with kids is this, my two chldren have made some great friendships with the kids of mothers i have dated. it expands there horizon and gives them a larger circle of friends. so you and them may not work out, but those friendships the kids build are a learning expierence for them
 nene391970
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 742
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:04:32 AM
The problem i have with being a single Mom, is that (1) my son is a teenager, and (2) his father is an active part of his life. Him and I are friends, and get along real well with each other. I think that this is a turn off for most men. It seems like as soon as I tell them this, they stop talking to me. It is sort of depressing, but their is nothing i can do about it. I keep looking, knowing that one will come along that will accept this fact and be willing to look past it.
 nene391970
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 743
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:09:15 AM
Ok first of Children ARE NOT BAGGAGE! Children are a gift from God, and shouldn't be considered past baggage from past relationships. Not all women are looking for an instant Daddy. Obviously you are picking the wrong women. Maybe if you start looking at a different type of woman, then you'll see differently. I am a single Mom of a soon to be 15 year old son, whose father is a very active part of his life. I am not looking for an instant father for him, but a companion for ME! Also, not all women are looking for a free master/visa card. Just because you don't have kids from a past relationship doesn't mean that you are any better then we are.
 nene391970
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 744
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:16:56 AM
I totally agree with you when you say that if your kids are not good enough for them, then they are not good enough for us. My son and I are a packaged deal, and I am not looking for a father for him. I am looking for someone for ME! My son has a father who is very much in his life. I am luckier then most women, my son's father and I broke up as friends several years ago, even after he married my best friend not long after we split up. We have our moments where we piss each other off, but we work it out, just like friends do. the only thing I ask of a guy I am seeing is that he be my son's FRIEND, and nothing more. He already has one father and doesn't need another one. If a guy can't accept that then I have no place for him in my life.

I actually prefer to date a man who has kids. He is more willing to accept my child.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 746
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:58:29 AM
"Ok to shawn413, that there is a crock!!!!!, I am a single mom to 5 and I am NOT looking for a guy to take care of me or my kids. Just cause some women are gold diggers don't mean we all are!!!!!!!!!!. I could careless what a guys so called money status is."

Look, I am not saying that single mothers are gold diggers. I would say the opposite is true. However, to say money isn't a factor is just silly. Let's be rational adults for a moment, and understand that it takes money to raise a happy healthy home. This doesn't mean that the man/woman should be loaded, but should make a decent enough living that everyone can live confortably together. Of course this is for a LTR.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 747
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:26:14 AM
~gadgetdoc~Your right, but it's all about perception rather than fact,
Just to reiterate there are a portion of single parents who are here for other reason than a logn term relationship, it's often higher from families of poorer backgrounds, but that does not mean that single-parents from concil-homes are fore the take-take-take nor that those who have been middle-income earners require their needs of attention to be met by other people
Overall, as any of us become more mature adults, i.e. over 25, we get wiser & realise our own perceptions are misguided, wrong..or maybe re-inforced.

But not to be open to the fact bwe might be wrong, for example, about single parents = Stubborness = Grow-Old-Very-Quickly
 astock
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 748
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:56:47 AM
wow i can't believe i read that whole thing, yes i am interested in dating single moms, as for the instant daddy thing mentioned above. again it's a package deal you get yourself into. if i personally met a woman with children and her one son had a drs appointment and he needed a ride i'ld graciously take them, i mean it's seriously not a problem. or if he or she or they needed this or that. why would i say no? it's not the way i was brought up, men are supposed to take care of their women and whatever "baggage" they may come with, it's all part of being an adult. so if you all wanna say that this and that isn't your responsibility and you wanna pick and chose what you are responsible for then go find yourselves a 19 year old pot head that never wants children and leave the nice single mothers to me
 Jlchate
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 749
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:33:14 PM
I myself have no children.
I want some someday. I
have no problem with
dating women with
children. I just got out of
a relationship with a girl
who has a 6yr old
daughter not too long
ago. It was more rough
on my part with the break
up. Her daughter knows
her father and still
wanted to call me daddy.
She told me she liked me
better. That is the only
thing that i don't like
about dating mothers.
Kids get attached easily
to me
 I_Open_Doors
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 750
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:04:58 PM
There is not a yes or no answer. Some do some don't. I personally do. I am a single dad and have the same fear as you. I want to meet someone great as well. I have a 5 and 1 yr old. I prefer a woman with a child the same age as mine. I think it would be easier to relate and she would not have the shock. So do what you do, you are cute and you will get what you want. Go to you tube and lisin to the song STAR by bryan Adams it has one of my fav quotes in it

" if what you have is all you can get - just keep trying -
it just ain't happened yet"
 checkmat3
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 753
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:18:33 AM
i met this girl off this site...and i fell in love with her...and she had two kids...we got each other name tatted ...i treated her kids like my own...but she cheated....anyways jus wanna let u know that there is a guy out there that will love u and ur child...like his own...its up to you to keep him
 Panic2003
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 755
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:00:09 PM
Not all guys are afraid of single moms. I would they are afraid of a single mom that want's someone to just help take care of their child because the father was not man enough to be a real dad. I know where you are coming from I am a single dad with a 3 year old and a 8 month old, and I'm the one that takes care of them. Try those boots on :)
 nakeddon
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 756
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:15:42 AM
as a 44 y.o. single guy; here's my take: when i was young and interested in chasing women around, i would have been a terrible dad. now that i'm older, and have my life in order; i regret never having kids. i was a good stepdad for a few years; but the two girls' father was destuctive. it was very difficult when they would spend a weekend at thier dad's, and come home sunday saying "our dad says we don't have to do what you tell us." when i was paying half the bills, i tended to dissagree! now i think i would welcome kids; as most women my age have them. my only wish is that thier bio. father is in prison or dead, so that he couldn't interfere and impose his will. so, YES guys like single moms.
 inferno14
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 758
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History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/1/2009 12:17:31 PM
I know from a past experience if you really like a woman it wont matter if she has kids.

Up until a couple years ago I didn't want to get involved with a single mom. I didn't want the time we spent to have to be worked around her kid(s) and I thought if I really liked her it would bother me that I wasn't the father. But a couple years ago I reconnected with a girl who I had a crush on in highschool and never really got over her and realized they come with the package. I ended up falling in love with her 4 year old daughter too and would have been honored to be her step-dad.

Unfortunately things didn't work out and we never did date and are no longer friends as of a couple weeks ago by her choice but I know now that kids come with the package sometimes and there's nothing wrong with dating a single mom if you really like her.
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