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 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 87
Do guys like single moms? Page 2 of 43    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Then no offense but I feel sorry for you...I would never want to have that little faith in humanity. It's usually those people who end up alone and living with cats.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 88
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/10/2007 3:03:35 PM
Touche...

I've also only been dating for about a month. Give me time, I might end up just as jaded
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 91
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/10/2007 3:25:14 PM
Why are you a single dad, rockhunter? I'm assuming you made a mistake on who you chose to involve yourself with. Most of us here have. But most of us learn from it, and move on...

And I hate to break it to you but again, if you shack up with ANYONE they can take your money. So easy solution-don't shack up with someone. And if you do, sign some kind of pre-nup.

Or continue to be paranoid, and have fun with your cats
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 92
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/10/2007 3:29:06 PM
You know now that I think of it...rockhunter, you have a child so your concerns don't make sense to me. You could just as easily turn around and do the same to any woman you were involved in....
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 103
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/10/2007 4:33:54 PM
I still find it VERY hard to believe that loco parentis can't be bypassed with the mothers consent. I'm not a lawyer or anything, but if a biological father can sign away the rights to his child, I'm pretty sure a man shacking up with a single mother can figure out some way to avoid that situation.

There are many laws on the books that I feel are unfair to single fathers...and if that's your reason for not dating single mothers, that's fine. I get it. But please stop lumping us all in the gold digger category...I've known many gold diggers. I was a bartender for 2 years at an upscale club, so I saw them all the time. Most of them didn't have children...

I have a child, not a child support payment, baggage, or a situation. She's a beautiful, innocent little girl who brings joy to the life of everyone who knows her. It's so sad to me that someone could view her as a negative...But if that's how you see it, then your not someone I would want to be involved with anyways....
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 107
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/10/2007 5:52:33 PM


I think the reality of the situation is most guys would prefer not to date a single moms. I think there is the exception to the rule...if a girl is wonderfuly great then it can easily look overlooked. There are a lot instant negative vibes you get from a single mother...I'd make a list but I have other things to do, but to get the ball rolling....responsibile or irresponsibile depending how you look at it, is one of them.



I'm sorry but this is one of my pet peeves...I really hate that mentality. My child is not something to be "overlooked". I've had more than one guy say "well I dont' NORMALLY date women with kids but...." like they are doing me some huge favor by even considering dating me

And I would really love for someone to explain to me how being a parent is somehow a sign of irresponsibility...because again, that one is mind boggling to me.
 sweetdaddy6060
Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 110
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/10/2007 10:13:00 PM
Whether a woman has children or not would not fit into the equation. If I meet a woman that I truely like it has no bearings on the matter. If I met a woman and fell in love with her it would include everything that comes with her. I would treat her kids as I treat my own although I could never be there father. But I would be a father figure. As a single dad I would expect and hope for the same. Maybe being single dad my opinion is swayed by my simular circumstances.
 brunett27
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 117
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/11/2007 11:32:20 AM
Most the men that contact me are childless, surprisingly. I had originally thought I wanted to meet other single parents, but it doesn't seem to be working out that way so far!
 BoOg_E_Mann
Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 118
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 12/12/2007 3:45:25 AM
I like single moms with kids around 11 years old or close....I have joint custody of my 11 year old daughter, I think it's wonderful for the kids to all click and play well together while we snugggle up on the couch and watch a good movie

Lee The BoOgieman

 gollfrr22
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 132
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/8/2008 11:04:14 AM
I would love to meet the right women who has a child. I would like the child to be less than 5 yrs old , so that it would make it easier on the child . I am divorsed after a 20 yr relationship and at my age , having a child will only happen if the women already has the child. I always wanted atleast one , probably what led to our divorse,,,she didn't want children. Anyway,,I would love to have a family and I think there are alot of guys out there that feel the same way I do.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 136
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History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:36:49 PM

Do guys like single moms?

of course we do. why wouldn't we?
 TheEmeraldTeardrop
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 137
Do guys like single moms? Sure
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:50:33 AM
Well single moms don't stop being women do they?

Women don't like all men, they like some men. They like specific men.

Probably someone who is attractive, fit, has a good job, is mentally stable and a good personality.

So what people should be asking is "Do those specific guys, that single mothers actually want to date, like single mothers?"

The answer most of the time is no. Someone who has a lot going for them has lots of options. Someone with lots of options is more likely to date someone without children.

I think what makes many single moms bitter about dating is the majority of guys who would actually be ok with dating them are men they just don't want.

Single mothers, most of them, just have to be realistic. Certainly I don't think anyone should compromise on issues like drug use, or alcoholism, or physical abuse or someone who engages in criminal activity. But I think most single mothers have to start compromising on height and looks and career and money and all kinds of other things.

I think it's a hard thing to face. To be told you have to take less than what you think you probably deserve. But there's just a point where people have to start being realistic about their situations. The guys who will date a woman with no career and two or three kids from other men, if they could get better out there, they would, and because they can't, they have to make "compromises" too.

Typically, people end up with what they can get, not what they want or think they deserve. Single mothers have to start accepting that or understand they will probably get very few dates otherwise.
 D Laurier
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 138
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History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/10/2008 3:51:22 PM
We get scared.
Its a weeding out process realy, the guy that bolts is the guy you didnt want anyway.
So when the bolters are all bolted,,, You have the guys who (although scared) still stick around.
The fact is that you are very attractive, and any guy who doesnt appreciate you, doesnt deserve you either...

I have beaten down my fear and taken some wonderfull women on dates.. and sometimes we have wound up taking the kids along too....

Any guy who cant cope with kids, isnt worth your time.
 Honest Ernie
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 139
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History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:22:28 PM
Well said. It is wrong to think that being a single mom makes a woman undesirable. The woman should be aware of how the man relates to children, but I would also be watching how the woman relates to her child(ren). Just because a woman is a single mom, does not mean that she will have a good relationship with the offspring. In many cases she will, but sadly, in some cases that won't be so. A single mom who has a loving relationship with her children has a lot to offer. It should never be considered a detriment.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 140
Do guys like single moms? Sure
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:51:35 PM
I don't agree..everyone deserves to be with someone they want to be with. Anyone who bases a relationship on someting as trival as height and looks deserves what they get. Whether they be a single parent or not. Typically what you are looking for changes when you become a single mother. (this does not always happen as soon as you have a baby either..) If I don't feel it for someone then I don't. I don't think anyone would, regardless of parental status. I think it's ridiclous that you think that men who date single parents are compromising anything. I know so many single parents and most of them are way better off then the single people I know. (and no MOST of them don't receive any support) Of course there is always a bad apple in every bunch and I don't allow it to spoil the whole basket and neither should anyone else. Everyone meets a few moms who live off the system and don't care correctly for thier kids, so suddenly we are all bad apples. No Wrong. Single parents compromise less then single non-parents and I'll argue that it's a good thing. We aren't easy to win over.. a potential partner has to work at it and be patient and show that their a good person and worth spending precious nights with before they are allowed an in. There's so many people on here griping about the high rate of divorce..well a good way to cause a divorce is to marry someone who you "compromised" about. Some things are trivial...height..weight..name..looks..other things are not..like being attracted physically, mentally and any other way. A single woman is more likely to date a "lazy" guy then a single mom is. Single parents want to see thier potential partner out there working hard and supporting himself. She wants to know that this man is a keeper. A single women may not discover this until after she says I do. of course not all the time..but that whole bad apple scene is rearing it's ugly head.

So no..don't compromise..Just because someone has 3 kids doesnt' make them bad or less worthy to have love in their life..It just makes it harder to get the guys to look..and to find a moment to look back..but for the guys who do..thank you

:)
 Jewel1974
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 143
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/11/2008 1:55:20 PM
This is not exactly true. I have 4 children. Lived 3 years with older two kids dad....I matured he didn't (not only my opinion his family agrees as welk) I soent another 8 years with younger kids dad who when we split he took me for custody of all 4 even two that weren't his. I got sole custody due to issues he had that would be harmful to children and was told i could get supprot for all 4 i refused ...only took for younger two. but I was also told that If the natural father of the children already pays then they CAN NOT take their common law spouse for the care of this child.

Easy solution. Do not live with anyone who has kid unless you are willing to take on full responsability for them. I would never expect my partner to be responsable for children that were not his but i do know some women will take whatever they can get. But in reality we are all adults and if you aren't willing to take full responsability then leave it to someone who will.

It isn't liek you dont know what youa re getting yourself into...you whould always make informed decisions before getting into any relationship. I amde my share of mistakes but I have always taken full responsability for them.

I understand mens resistance because I myself have trouble getting involved with anyone who has kids...and i don't invite a man into my kids lives until i am sure either for the same reason. Kids get hurt and when making a decision that involves kids you need to make it with a clear head and be sure before you affect their lives forever.

Maturity I think means ...mature enough to make a responsable decision. Kids or no kids you should amke a mature decison but more so when kids hearts and emotions are involved. I have been basically single for 7 years now....dated ofton but never found someone who i was willing to share my children with and I am ok with that ...would love to have soemone special but it takes a special kind of man to join a ready made family.....still looking for that special kind of man.
 wrongway105
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 147
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/12/2008 3:27:23 PM
I have a friend of mine who totally loves kids but dont want one anytime soon, and he avoids dating women that have kids. I believe that there are some guys out there that are just afraid of the commitment that kids offer, and even if its not thier own kid(s) they do know what kind of freedoms one has to give up. example (finding sitters all the time, not able to go stay out late, no drunken binges, ect. you know the life of a single un-tamed person) alot of people enjoy that freedom. I may not be a female but i can tell ya its hard to find a person, I want a single mom. that way i know she is kid tested and knows and understands all the responsibilities of children. I have 3 kids so for me there is no exception to this rule. I will not date someone who does not want or have children. Im sure there are pleanty of guys out there like myself who want to find that special person in thier life to for once feel that happiness again, even if it means expanding the family. For me it will be more like the brady bunch i think lol. dont give up relax enjoy yourself and smile and enjoy the times with your child. Well its nice out Ima go have a fun game of Tag try to wear them out and me aswell. lol
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 150
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:24:56 AM

So I got pregnant and was engaged....he left me while in Iraq for a girl on the internet...two weeks before i gave birth.....so i was stuck with heartache and a beautiful child.....so now im okay im a wonderful mom and i have a beautiful son....but do guys actually like single moms? I just have this gut feeling that no one will ever want me again because i have a child....i am not looking for a father for him... i am and will always be enough parent for him.....i am not looking for anyone to take care of him ...i can do that .....i am just looking for someone for ME....with hopes that they love my son too ....if not then i dont need them...Do guys get scared when you tell them you have a toddler? infant in my case...??? Just wondering really...would appreciate replies.

Beausmommy, before responding, I read or glanced at every post in the thread because I think it is an interesting topic. However, my comments are limited to single moms under 25; the age range I can relate to. If you are 25 or older, you have been my age so you know what it is like to 19 but I have never been you age so I cannot speak for you.

One observation of mine is that most young single moms are pretty to gorgeous. I think that is because guys don't choose to have sex with ugly girls. My second observation is that guys never reject young pretty single girls because they don't have children. However, most but not all young pretty girls reject guys that are more than 4 or 5 years older. These guys all want pretty girls; but, if they can't have us, they must take from the remaining population.

So Beausmommy, if you are having difficulty dating guys, are you willing to a guy 4 or 5 years older that I rejected because he is over 23. Some are very attractive. One is 28, a triathlete, college graduate, good occupation, articulate, and, for his age, I give him a ten in looks. He appeals to me but I'm not going to date a guy that old. Another guy, age 27 is close to that description except he is not a triathlete and he is very good looking but only an 8 instead of a 10.

These guys definitely want to date young pretty girls. However, since they are too old to be acceptable to young single girls what choice do they have but to date pretty young single moms that will accept guys that old?
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 152
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 8:57:36 AM
Many guys, myself included are not the least bit afraid of having more kids in their lives, theirs or not. I know in Canada many are leery because of the stepchild support thing going on there. The one thing you should always keep in mind is that you are still you. All that you had to offer you still have, don't sell yourself short, or think you have to settle. I have a friend at work who along with his wife has been foster parenting for infants and toddlers for 14 years. He said he wouldn't know what to do if he woke up one day and didn't have to change a diaper. There are many men and woman who would welcome someone with a child into their lives. I would like to add to that though someone older may be more apt to accept your child, it's not something you should consider if that wasn't the type you were attracted to to begin with. Really, don't think you have to settle for something that won't make YOU happy.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 153
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:31:31 AM
I know in Canada many are leery because of the stepchild support thing going on there.

I'm reminded that there is no free lunch. Single moms love it when they get free money. After all, they feel entitled because it is for the children.

However, there are going to be many more threads like this when men start feeling the social pressure, hearing warnings, and listening to the horror stories from other men in their peer group with statements such as, "Man are you stupid or something? Only chumps date single moms? I hope her @ss it worth the money you going to pay for the next 18 years to support some other ba$tards kids."

After that the only "Real men" will be 5'-4", 220 lbs., unemployed, unwashed, and unshaven. And, the immature little boys will be the tall, educated, handsome guys with a high income that only date women without children.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 155
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 2:11:53 PM
kelley-88

How about EVERYONE loves it when they get free money...afterall they derserve it right?? prove me wrong?

i don't understand the real man comment? Are you implying that only short fat unemployed dirty men will date single mothers?? If you are you are very wrong. I don't recall dating one man who falls into any of the categories you specified. No self respecting single mother would date these men. Self respecting single mother date men who work and take care of themselves. I know it's a shock to all the non-parents out there but men really are accepting of a single parent. They run when we try to shove the kid in their face and have them play daddy. Lots of guys are willing to play a role, but in thier time and when they are ready to, not when the person they are dating decides.

I myself an wary of any man in his late 30s who doesnt' have kids or hasn't at least been engaged or married. Also don't like it when youg guys are really interested in my son. I wonder why.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 157
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 3:25:34 PM
don't understand the real man comment? Are you implying that only short fat unemployed dirty men will date single mothers?

NotInnocent, please take things I posted in the context of the entire thread. Numerous times it is posted that, if a guy doesn't date a single mom, he is not a real man, it is his loss, and he is just an immature boy, or I want a real man; not a boy.

Men listen to and are greatly influenced by other men and, regardless of how much we talk, men pay little attention to what we say. Therefore, if the statements I read about men being forced to pay child support for other men's children are true then, at least in Canada, many guys will listen to other guys and refuse to date single moms. And, the way I phased it in Msg 217 is just how men speak to each other.

Therefore, it follows, based on the comments women make about "Real men," that the "Real men;" that is, men that will date single moms will be short, fat, unemployed, unshaven, and unwashed. At the very least, the trend will be in that direction.

And, in spite of all the self-serving comments to the contrary, there never has and never will be a woman that declines the free money. It is our nature to be selfish and we can all find some way to justify it. After all, it is not for me; it is for diapers.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 158
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 6:38:00 PM

Many single moms in Canada take their ex to court (the child's step father) to get him to pay child support and she always says "It is for the kids." See how that works? When the law re-enforce this you can't help but wonder why single mom's do not understand why men will not date them.

Johne, we are not dumb; we understand the reasons. However, we don't like the reason and we wish they didn't exist. Therefore, we don't like hearing the reasons. It is the same when a plus size woman ask, "Do you think I'm fat?" She is not so stupid and blind that she doesn't already know the answer. However, a lie make her feel better so she doesn't want to hear the truth.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 159
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:08:05 PM

So if they do not want the truth why ask the question?

We ask the question because we want to hear an answer that makes us feel better about ourselves. Now we want the answer to be the truth provided it is the answer we want to hear.

If a single mom is not getting dates from guys she wants to marry, she is hoping to hear some magic answer so she can get the guy she wants. If there is no magic answer, then she wants people to tell her that tomorrow or the next week she will meet the guy of her dreams and get married.

That answer makes her feel good for the same reason we like to watch Cinderella movies and read fairy tales. Even though we know it is not real, the happy outcome makes us feel good by fulfilling our fantasies.
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