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 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 160
Do guys like single moms? Page 3 of 43    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Well you sure like them enough to consort with them and pretty much only them in the forums!


Most single mom's do not match my values and moral stanadrs that I am looking for


Boo! "Most" guys think single mom's are perfect...they already know they put out. ha ha ha. Actually that was an incredibly offensive thing to say. Maybe most that you've met so far, but I don't think you've met all of them.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 163
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:46:49 PM
Eastindyguy, it is not all that difficult to know when to lie and when not to lie, at least I don't think it is that difficult. Now I realize some things are very difficult, but I'll address those later.

If it is all the mundane things such as, what do you want to eat? Do we have enough in the bank to pay or taxes? What did you do today? Should I were the red or blue dress? Why doesn't the computer work? And on and on and on and on.

If it is things involving feeling then tell a white lie. For example. Are my pants too tight? Do you like my new dress? Am I getting fat? Did you f*ck your secretary when you two went on a business trip together? Are you lying?

Now the difficult part is knowing what we expect when we will not tell you and, of course, you are expected to fulfill our needs even though we don't what they are. After all, any real man would know those things.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 166
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:25:18 PM

But you know what, I am not going to lie to appease someone's fragile ego, just as I wouldn't expect someone to lie to protect my ego. Expecting people to lie to you to make you feel better about yourself is infantile at best and shows deep seeded narcissistic tendencies at worst. If someone's personality type needs them to be lied to in order to feel good about themselves, they have some SERIOUS issues.

Then you need to change so that you are willing to tell little white lies to protect our feelings or else you need to avoid women because we are all that way. It is part of our nature.


Being "a real man" has nothing to do with knowing when to do something to make a woman happy.

You need to be able to read for content and recognize sarcasm. I was not serious regarding my remark about "Real men" when I said, Now the difficult part is knowing what we expect when we will not tell you and, of course, you are expected to fulfill our needs even though we don't what they are. After all, any real man would know those things.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 167
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:25:52 AM
I can't believe there is a women on here telling men to lie. Telling me I look beautiful when I have the flu and there is boogers running down my face, is you making me feel better. I know damn well you are lying. But if I look fat in the dress you better tell me rather then let me go out looking like that. If I ask you did you sleep with your secretary and you did you should tell the truth. You already did it, you already messed up. Don't let me catch you in a lie on top of it. if I'm asking I already know anyway,.

most women that I know will tell a man what she wants, as long as she knows. It takes life expirence to come to that point though. unfortunately sometimes women don't know what is bothering them. Or it's too complicated. Men should understand when we aer hurting and just hold us. that's really what we want. When you are upset you want to be left alone. We should do that.

I'll be nice..the person I am responding to is only 19 and really still a child herself. But i'm going to ask you to not tell the men to lie. If he does not only is he in more hot water for lying, but for what he did in the first place..which may not be so bad.. I'm not going to touch the real man comment.

Oh..and you know what... there is someone out there for everyone. No one should give up hope. that is the magic answser. That is not a lie. And if it is then you are lying ot yourself as well. Single parents are not much different then non-single parents. If anything I'd argue that single parents are more grounded, more stable, more educated and looking for a man of character rather then a man with big muscles.

PS..men.. are a womans pants ever too tight??? lol
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 168
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:28:32 AM
I agree, don't lie to make me feel better. If someone doesn't want to date me because I have kids, obviously they are not right for me. I would be more hurt later if I found out by his words and actions that he was just going through the motions with me because he couldn't break the news to me that he doesn't like kids.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 169
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:18:28 AM
I don't know, want me to give you the number of the guy I dated who didn't want kids but went into a relationship with me, knowing I had kids? He couldn't relate to them, didn't really try, and it was ultimately what broke us up. I'm saying I would rather have known he didn't want kids up front and rather he not started dating me in the first place.

I'm not the one suggesting people lie.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 170
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:38:12 AM
NotInnocent, While, I agree with all your points in the context you are saying them, you are deliberately attempting to twist my words by implying I said things I never intended. I can do the same thing. For example the following is absolutely correct in the context intended:


PS..men.. are a womans pants ever too tight??? lol

If I or any sweet young thing that looks terrific in a Brazilian bikini, can get into our pants, men are not going to think they are too tight and I clearly understand that is the way you intended it to be taken.

However, I have seen 200 pound women with their belly overhanging their tight pants. They look much better in clothes that hide rather than show their body shape and men that prefer not to see ugly agree.

Never did I suggest they men should lie when not asked a question. However, that is what you imply. If you are sick, you probably will not ask but, if you do ask what you want to hear is, "Honey, you look beautiful to me." You certainly don't want to hear, "I've seen a prettier face on a gorilla."

As most guys would interpret it, everything I said is correct. When women ask questions that they already know or suspect they know the answer to, they don't want to hear the truth, if the answer is unpleasant. Either the answer will hurt their feelings or else they will get angry and attack the person(s) giving the answer.

When a friend, is at a party after blowing more than $200 on a dress she is wearing, asks, "Do you like my dress?" and I think it is hideous because it hides her terrific hour-glass figure, I know she doesn't want to hear the truth so I will reply, "I think it is right for you."

The OP and others know the answer to the question of this thread but they don't want to hear the truth. When a guy states, "I don't date single moms because they have too many problems and they have too much baggage" he may be telling the truth from his perspective, but it causes single moms to go ballistic and they will attack him with name calling and other things.

And to another woman: It is true that you don't want a guy to lie in order to date you. However, that sounds like a stretch by any imagination. If a guy doesn't want to date you because you are a single mom, he is not going to lie in order to date you. He may or may not lie, but certainly he will not date you. Perhaps you meant you don’t want him to lie just to get into your pants. However, that is another issue. In order to get into your pants, some guys are going to tell you what ever lie they think you want to hear. Being a single mom doesn’t change that.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 171
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:46:21 AM
Oh good Lord. The guy I dated did not say to me Hello, SimmahDahnNah, my name is So and So and I love kids--will you date me? We started going out and it progressed into a relationship. Later on I found out he'd had a vasectomy two years before meeting me. Later on I figured out he really wasn't into my kids. So in essence, he wasn't being true to himself or me when he knew at the beginning I had two little ones.
(And he was not trying to trick me out of my pants--I don't believe in accusing someone of that anyway, but this was actually a real relationship).

Am I taking this out of context??

We ask the question because we want to hear an answer that makes us feel better about ourselves. Now we want the answer to be the truth provided it is the answer we want to hear.
If a single mom is not getting dates from guys she wants to marry, she is hoping to hear some magic answer so she can get the guy she wants. If there is no magic answer, then she wants people to tell her that tomorrow or the next week she will meet the guy of her dreams and get married.
That answer makes her feel good for the same reason we like to watch Cinderella movies and read fairy tales. Even though we know it is not real, the happy outcome makes us feel good by fulfilling our fantasies.


By the way, let the record show that I do not read fairy tales and have no use for them. Reality is more my bag. I do not want someone glossing over their version of the truth for the sake of me fulfilling some fantasy or giving me the answer they think I want to hear. ...that's the biggest lie of all and cannot be sustained.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 172
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 12:40:20 PM
I hope you're not addressing me personally, Johne.
Why not stick to trying to find the guys that do like single moms instead of bashing the ones who do not?


How condescending. Do you honestly think that women with children purposely go after people they know do not want or care for children?? That's like saying gay guys should stop going after straight guys hoping they can convert them. It doesn't happen nearly as often as people with superiority complexes think it does. Also, I have never bashed anyone for their preferences, and the people that say "their loss, he's not a real man", etc, I believe are just making someone feel better. You see it all the time in the other dating threads not involving children as well. I find your posts hilarious. "Too risky"? lol Okeedoke. And please don't think you speak for many men in Canada, I think you speak for possibly a small percent, but I wouldn't say many.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 173
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 2:26:18 PM
ha ha.. I need a list of your female friends..so I know to be careful what I say around them.

I dont' know what i took out of context. No I don't want to be lied to to spare my feelings. If a friend of mine buys a hideous dress or a non flattering one then I will tell her so if she asks me. or at a minimum I will tell her the dress is pretty. It's called being mature enough to tell your friends the truth and know that they aren't going to attack you.

If I look like crap in something tell me so. Better hear if from them then gets the "what the heck is she wearing" stares all day long.

When your closer to 30 come back and revisit this thread..I bet your opinion changes
 Alyssn
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 174
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 3:08:56 PM
I have been in your shoes, altho a different situation. My husband and my childrens father was taken from us when our home was burglerized. Our youngest was 6 at that time. I decided that there was no man that could take the place of their father, so I dated, and didn't lack for dates. Never hid the fact that I had children. I have never remarried. Our children are grown now. All of them happily married with children. Now, if the right man comes along, I'll hope on the wagon. Concentrate on raising your child to the best of your ability. If someone happens along to help raise your son, wonderful!! If not, then you'll have great satisfaction in knowing that you raised your son to be a productive member of society. Don't search so hard for him. I have always been told, if you stop looking, he'll show up. Good luck to you. Keep your head up. There is someone for everyone.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 176
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:00:19 PM

I'm not sure most guys agree what is said here. Maybe teenagers way of thinking, But has one matures and can handle the truth he/she can cope with dillemas of life

No offence was meant here above

Zephh, no offence taken. However, that doesn't change the fact that my statments are correct. The advantage I have over you and the others is that as far back as I can remember, my parents, especially my father, would teach me to look for the facts; to look at what people do; not what they say. Except for the scientific types such as my father, most people only say what sounds good; facts don't matter and logic is foreign to them.

It is not that they could not have learned if they had been taught. But now they are too old to learn. I'm reminded of the saying, "You can’t teach an old dog new tricks." People who have long been used to doing things in a particular way will not abandon their habits.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 177
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:27:34 PM
**edit** Regarding post 250

What in the heck does ANY of that mean in reference to this thread? You know, I had a French teacher who used to have a saying that I hated back then but think is quite funny now. "An ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure".
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 178
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:10:01 PM
Now there's somethin I'm sure noone has ever said Actions speak louder than words..
Although the exact quote and my favorite btw is:

"Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear the words you say" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

You can check the reference if you like..

I think it's funny that you think your statements are correct. Advocating lying to protect feelings. Your statements are far from correct. At least for anyone who has a ioda of respect for themselves or the person they are dating. If you take a look at the relationship that WORK and LAST it is between those who do not tell lies to each other. They tell each other what they think and they talk it out. I'm sorry to say that scientific types have nothing to do with anything. It mostly common sense and expirence that teachs you to be true.

I also think it's funny that you think people become to old to learn. At what age or age range does this occur? I know some 60 and 70 year olds who move, take up a new sports, give up smoking or drinking, read those self help books and go out and do things. I even know some who were really nasty middle aged people and are now so sweet you want to spend all your time with them. So when? I need a time frame..I still have some things I aspire to learn.
 Chiatzou
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 182
view profile
History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:29:44 AM
It all depends. My mother had two children before she met my father. My father is a good man but there are times when he does not think of my older brother in the same light as me. I think that that is wrong but that is human nature. This behavior comes from the fact that in many instances the mother of the child that is not of the husband will defend those children. Not allowing the husband to discipline them and sheltering them. I have dated females who have children before, I don't have anything positive or negative to say about the experiences that I have had. Some of them were good people and it did not work out and some were not good people and it did not work out. The same applies for the single females that I have dated that did not have children. I like dating females who have morals and a sense of themselves.
 EnixStorm
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 183
view profile
History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/29/2008 3:21:14 PM
I dont think single moms are at a disadvantage whatsoever. Personally as a single dad, I would much rather be with someone who I can relate to or who I know would most likely be better for my kid than someone who has never raised a child before. Also, you're going to get a more mature person whose stable for a long term relationship in my opinion vice a man with a teenage mentality still.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 184
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:24:53 PM
OK ^^^^we get the message. You hate single mothers. You will never date one. You think they are bad parents and ALL of your friends and everyone you've come in contact with agrees with you. Single moms are horrid people and the world will implode unless you alert the masses to our nefarious ways. We are evil and must be destroyed!!!


Regarding the post below....there are just as many started by single dads wondering how/when/why to date. Have you ever thought that perhaps someone's self esteem takes a hit when you are left high and dry with children? I know personally my ex said to me...no one's going to want you, you have two kids. Now I can see it for what it was, just an attempt at hurting me, but yepper it worked. And so I still don't see the point in broken record-ing us with all the stories about all these money grubbers and desperate women in nearly every post....? That's helpful to who, how?
 bella9
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 186
view profile
History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/3/2008 3:22:53 PM
Not only what the OP says but what also gets me is these women in their 20's with 2-3 kids in tow making themselves sound like a great catch. On top of it, they make it sound as if you'll be lucky if they give you the time of day. Please.
 catseye7433
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 187
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/3/2008 4:15:28 PM
I've read your posting a few months back regarding your situation with an ex with kids. You're just bitter because you dated a girl that had a child and left the kid with you most of the time so she can date other guys while spending your money. It was more like you were paying her to watch her kids with no benefits.

Why dont you get over it and learn from your mistakes, quit being a doormat, and set boundries.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 188
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/4/2008 3:35:09 AM
Hmmm since the OP hasn't posted since December, I think you're going to get your wish Johne that she's not going to respond. I'm willing to guess that she, like the rest of us, has basically the same things to offer. We are looking to find someone who likes us and treats us kindly. We are looking for someone to make us laugh on occasion and shares the same interests we do. We are all different, but most of us offer kindness, affection, and attention in return. There's nothing different about that than any other woman without kids.

But see, I feel that my kids as part of my package are an added bonus. With my kids, you get to go to baseball games and basketball games with us if you choose, and they're darn good athletes. My youngest makes it to the all star team every year, and that is some exciting stuff! They like to hunt and fish. My oldest is a really talented artist, my youngest likes to cook. They skateboard, skimboard, and are better golfers than some adults I know. Take your pick of interests, it can only enhance your life and our relationship if you enter it with an open mind.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 190
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:02:43 PM

Let's say a guy meets a single mom and the guy has had a few bad experiences dating single mom's in the past. The fact that you have children however great they may be...may cause the man to "draw a line in the samd" so to speak and decide to just be a friend to you and your children. What is wrong with that?


Nothing's wrong with that, I have the same line in the sand regarding salesmen and some days, guys named Joe. Everyone has their preferences. However, don't discount the fact that you may be missing out on the best relationship of your life if you decide kids are too much for you.


Plus with all due respect sometimes the more people involved in a relationshpi (the moe kids the woman has) can be a reason that their could be more conflict if the child or one of the children decides to casuse trouble.


That just seems a little immature. Most people in general do not like change, why should kids be any different? Of course there are going to be times when they act out, but those times happen even when there is not a parent dating scenario. It's all how you handle it.

No one is saying the only way to prove you like children is to get romantically involved with the mother. But I think it's pretty clear what you think of single mothers, don't try to say you like them because you coach their kids. And you don't have to like them. You don't have to date them. But you do need to stop blathering on about how horrible they are and what money grubbers they are.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 191
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:56:08 PM
And my point is that if the significant other does not handle the situation correctly and realize they're dealing with a child...it can become an issue when it doesn't need to be.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 193
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:29:38 AM
I'm not talking about discipline at all. I'm talking about emotionally being able to understand that especially at first, kids might try to stir things up, because their world has been stirred up as well. If the man in this situation does not understand that, and act like an adult, he is a very immature individual. I cannot imagine what mine or my families lives would be like right now if my stepfather, who is more of a 'real dad' to my sister and I than our own 'real dad' would have cut and run because of our attitudes early in the marriage. My Mom wouldn't have her loving husband, we wouldn't have our great Dad, and my kids and hers wouldn't have their awesome Grandpa. Very sad to think about. He had patience and realized that we were the children and he was the adult. Had he took the cowards way out, I wouldn't think much of him now. And if you knew half of what you claim to know about dating a single parent, you'd realize that you accept the kids as part of the whole package, tantrums and all. I've experienced it myself dating guys with kids. There is no way the kids were in any form part of the breakup...and I wouldn't consider myself much of a person if they were.
 Shoebox1
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 195
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:30:16 AM

If the man in this situation does not understand that, and act like an adult, he is a very immature individual. I cannot imagine what mine or my families lives would be like right now if my stepfather, who is more of a 'real dad' to my sister and I than our own 'real dad' would have cut and run because of our attitudes early in the marriage. My Mom wouldn't have her loving husband, we wouldn't have our great Dad, and my kids and hers wouldn't have their awesome Grandpa.

Nice way to displace true responsibility. This is like the woman who sued mcdonalds because the coffee was hot

Your MOM created a broken home. It's not the responsibility of menfolk to put up with bratty behavior because of your mom's situation that SHE created. There are MANY situations where the children never DO warm to the other person and it wrecks havoc onto the spouse's relationship. You're also disavowing the myriad of other problems that can, and do, occur when dating someone with kids. Why should men be labeled as "immature" when they have VERY LEGITIMATE reasons for avoiding such a "landmine-laden" situation??

Your answer is quite short-sighted.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 196
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:49:49 PM

How many of you have actually taken your kids on the first, second or third date?


I have not.

And I don't know what kind of situation you're talking about Johne, but there is a difference between 'oh will you have so and so get down from there', and 'my son got suspended from school for smoking pot....do something'. I'm sorry you met people you feel were losers. And I am NOT looking to bash anyone for not wanting to date me because I have kids, or anyone else that has kids. I just think you have some messed up logic.

Re the post above me....Hi Fairmont~be careful.....
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