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 ukgrad1989
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 432
Do guys like single moms? Page 8 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)
I'm late to this thread, but I have to echo what some other guys have said about it being a nonissue. When I was younger it was an issue, but after about the age of 30, its just unreasonable to expect women to not have kids, even if the guy doesn't have kids of his own. Its good to include the kids in some activities, and also to be willing to pay for the babysitter if necessary. Kids can be alot of fun, especially when it comes to things like going to Six Flags, the zoo, or a ballgame. And I think a thin-skinned guy that would walk away from a potential relationship just because of kids would probably walk away for alot of other reasons, so count your blessings, relationships take work, and a guy that bails that fast isn't worth the time of day. My 2..5 cents worth....
 vanika
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 433
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History
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 10/26/2008 8:16:58 AM
Hi, I am a single mom who raised a son all by myself and had that question in my head all along. Today I have the answer,but it cost me a great deal of suffuring during times.
Number one saparate yourself from the emage "single mom"labeling yourself gives them a permition to see that you are vounarable, why don't you start seing yourself as the strong and brave woman you are who is doing something that most people are not capable to do out there?
Number two there are a lot of single dads so being a single parent it is not ubnormal those days.
Market yourself and do ask the person who wants to be your partner to love your child and exept your son like his own, if there is an issue with that you should walk way from that person because it wouldn't work anyway unless you want to give your child way.........good luck
 brandonr29
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 434
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 10/26/2008 10:31:35 AM
I for one would like to say I love single moms BUT.... lol Here is the deal, I am a single father and I have been for the last 6 years, me and her mom split when she was 3 and she is now nine. My situation is kind of unique because she hasn't been in her daughters life at all since then. I could go in detail but no one will probably even read this lol... Anyways a big mistake single parents (including myself now) make is dating members of the opposite sex that are not parents themselves. Yah I know occasionally it works out and this great guy/girl comes along and saves the day but that rarely happens. It's hard enough to find a really great mother or father to their biological children let alone someone elses. I've only had two girlfriends since taking full custody of my daughter and only let one into my daughters life (moving in together) and what a mistake that turned out to be. Who pays? The children do because they dont understand and half of us want to make these stupid relationships work so bad we forget who is number 1... the kids. I feel stupid for taking this long to come to this conclusion because I really didnt want to deal with some other babys daddy since i have no baby mama drama of my own I felt I shouldnt have to deal with it. The other end of the spectrum is this... Sorry but any woman complaining because she is 30+ has 5 kids by 4 baby daddies and no man has no right. I've been alive for 29 years and managed to only bring one child into this cruel world of selfish adults. It dosnt make me any better but yah it does! That is one reason I moved from California because that situation is all over the place. All the women are either young, hot, sexy, irresponsible whores OR they are 25+ tore up, drug-addicted, washed up baby machines!!! I am glad out here in Iowa there atelast appears to be some single mothers in my age range with one or two kids and that is promising. More then I want a girlfriend i want my daughter to have a family and the mother she never had. Big shoes to fill but I am optimistic. I am done ranting have a nice day lol
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 435
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 10/26/2008 11:18:56 AM
aww keep your hope up brandon. we are not all like those women you describe. and not all of us come with drama. I have no true drama. his father rarely has anything to do with us. So none from that front anyway. There are lots of women out there just like that. good luck!
 KevinT30
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 439
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:53:31 PM
Try being a single dad and finding a woman. Especailly one that doesnt have kids. Id rather her have kids anyways. But I believe the women run faster than the guys do.
 cherri22
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 443
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:44:04 AM
I think some men like single mums, especially when they have children of their own. I prefer to talk those other men who have kids, as I find I have some actual conversation, as most of the single mums on here would understand, our lives are very different from that of single women no children. Ive had some men not bother once they realise I have a kid, but then its never a big loss, its theirs actually.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 446
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:51:08 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
buck up! It's a number game! You're not all that bad looking but you're not going to be everyones type either. In all honestly in the world of online dating a picture makes or breaks it sometimes. I'm willing to bet you only e-mailed women you found attractive, why the double standard? Keep up the e-mails! Someone is bound to respond eventually!

 joni74
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 448
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:56:23 AM
well why not? the norm is being more and more being single moms. my daughter is 2 , before that when i didnt have kids i thought i was at an advantage than other women . its all in the mind frame, how you think, i do not think that way anymore and i am single, if a man thinks well "she has a kid" and thinks twice about it then hes not for you. some men think that they will find a single childless woman, and they do then they have a kid and she becomes single again with a kid. if a man thinks this way in the end he wont be happy , hell be unhappy with a kid lol
 kcjoker26
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 451
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/7/2008 9:28:56 AM
yes. you put yourself out there and guys will bite. try being a single dad of three. not much luck for me.
 malibume
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 453
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:17:10 PM
I don't know about most guys but it sure seems hard to find a decent guy who accepts kids! I am a single mom of three and they are my number 1's in life! I've kind of gotten used to the fact that I will probably be single forever-- even after the kids are grown I'm sure eventually there will be grandkids and then they will consume time! OH well because I wouldn't trade my kids for anything!!! They are my heart and soul! I have dated here and there over the past several years -- but it never seems to work out!! It's hard fitting dating into the schedule between raising kids, taking care of a household--on your own and working!
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 454
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:48:33 PM
Omg malibume do you really think being a mother shall make you single forever? There are a lot of mothers who have found love!
My daughter was my whole world heart and soul, sun moon and stars when i met my love. Yes it can be hard, it takes a strong woman! But many do it.
 mfuent03
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 459
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/8/2008 3:53:49 PM
Yes. I could only speak for myself. I think that a Mom is more settled and takes life more seriously now. I'm a soldier myself and I think that you have nothing to worry about. As long as you are yourself and you dont change for anybody, having a child is a blessing. Good luck to you and raise your boy to be a man. Not many good man out there, we need help :)
 Binky!
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 460
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:26:41 PM
UltimateHeartSurgeon(post#18)--Are you serious or was your post a joke?

My daughter has a Father who cares for and provides for her very well Thank You very much. It says something about a person when they just assume that he would willingly give that up to another man.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 462
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:49:11 AM
ahhhh ok, mothers of one have hope, but moms of 3 or more, forget about it.

I have 2 (had one when i met my love and we had another child together) where does that place me?
 Dreaming-cynic
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 469
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/10/2008 5:11:11 PM
To each side there is ***holes, yes there is someone out there for you but dont go looking for it! Instead find hobbies, things that make you happy and usually you meet those people in great places witht the same mentality and interests or pretty close to!
 iyfjhv
Joined: 7/27/2007
Msg: 485
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/14/2008 9:36:38 PM
i cant vouch for all guys but as for me yes , i have have alot of friends that do to but if u cant find anyone for you beacause of you son then there stupid because your beautiful n your son is cute
 rlovernyc
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 486
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:48:55 PM
its funny when a woman say i m not lookin for a father
but in reality that new man would have to play the role of daddy
if he moves in with u, yes your child and him will bump head and he will have to discipline him which is a case of parenting

most single men with no kids do not want to get involved with a woman with kids because of the lack of attention, complication thats is involved, etc
i believe u r a wonderful person but a child makes it complicated
we are all humans we have flaws, add your flaws and a childs, i think its alittle too much for a man to handle

my advice, date a man with kids of his own too
 bluebeltbjj
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 487
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/25/2009 3:21:03 PM
I will throw my opinion on this thread as well since I have noticed a TON of ladies on this site with kids. Let's see if I can structure this most politely without getting flamed since a majority of the supporters had comments that are disrepectful toward single men with no children. (i.e. "no sense of responsibilities", "jerks", "boys and not men", "partiers", "ones missing out" etc.)

Personally, I do not have any kids (tactfully say that I know of). I HAVE dated women in the past that do have kids. But, would never get serious with the ladies or be exclusive really. It all has PROS and CONS. Most people have pointed out the practical downside:

1. Loss of Spontaneity
2. Conflicts with "Baby Daddies"
3. Strain on Economical Resources Directly (loan me some money) and Indirectly (always paying for nights out because HER resources are for the kid[s])

What everyone has failed to recoginize is the true genetic and biological reasoning that is encoded in males and females that will hinder the relationship process. We are all programmed to want to reproduce and pass our DNA on to the next generation. There is no genetic benefit to a male to help raise another males offspring. In fact, he is hindered in that regard and is only benefited by having all his RESOURCES (ie. time, money, emotional support, etc.) and his pairbonded-female's resources put into use for his own offspring. Unconciously, a woman raising another males genes is biologically less attractive than a woman without children.

Protecting your own genetic offspring to the best of your abilities is probably the most RESPONSIBLE thing a human being can do.
 rtucker09
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 489
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/25/2009 9:02:36 PM
I have dated singles mom's in the past and had no problem with it.
 bluebeltbjj
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 492
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/26/2009 11:11:14 AM
Interesting question about the Males. Since the OP was a female asking...and most of the posts were from that angle...I stayed with that to be less off topic.

As far as a limited resources theory is concerned...yes...males would then be less attractive as well.

To understand the argument further you must first realize that males and females are different in all species including humans. (i.e. women carry the baby for 9-months males can't, women release roughly 500 chances of passing on their genes [eggs in ovaries] men produce millions of sperm a day, etc.)

To that end...the two sexs differ in their strategies on how best to pass on their genes. Females with SEVERELY less opportunities to breed (in the biological sense - not that they can't get laid) are benefited by finding the BEST genetic partner for their limited supply. Males are benefited by finding the MOST partners for their comparitively unlimited supply (there is a limit eventually but you get the point).

My guess is that you find those men MORE attractive not due to the limited resources theory but because of other possible reasons such as:

A. a conditioned response due to non-raising-kids males you have encountered in the past have been a-holes to you and raising-kids males have been more respectful. So, it's not the fact of the kids that are attractive but the ATTITUDE or MATURITY of the male.

B. If he is raising his own kids then he has successfully reproduced. Hence, some other female found his genes to be of high quality and so now you. So, it's his high quality genes you are after and not the children rearing thing. That is just proof of the genes.

C. a rational deduction that he is more likely to help raise your offspring because he has proven he is helping to raise another females offspring. Thus, you worry less about him being a "deadbeat dad" (this might be the best reasoning)

Certainly you will see a decline in attractiveness eventually though. Has one kid? Two kids? Ten kids? A hundred kids???! At some point you would say..."Wait a second. This male that has 100 kids will not be able to give any more resources than the guys without kids."

In summary, with all things being equal...again...WITH ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL...each person would rather have their mate be unattached with others children. It is such a trade off in the human condition. One might overlook the fact that they don't have a job (assumed limited resources) because they are gorgeous (assumed good genes) or favor an ugly (assumed bad genes) billionaire (assumed unlimited resources). There are so many other natural elements that could be discussed such as ALPHA and BETA males, Cuckoldry, etc. that don't have to do with LOVE and MATURITY and EMOTIONAL SECURITY of which most of these types of threads focus on.
 seymour68
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 494
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/26/2009 12:51:58 PM
as a single dad myself i say yes we do like single moms when the woman puts her child first it shows that that u r caring and loving mom and if there was a spark a man would want his woman to be a great mother to his child so there is nothing wrong with being a single mom
 Bigrockinguy
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 497
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 3/26/2009 2:04:52 PM
I my self have no problem with dating single mums.Sometimes it can be hard as you may not get along with the kids or in one case,spent more time doeting over my friends baby than her.
Also comes down to the point that i wanted to start a blog,re more kids.If you were dating a single parent and they were "the one",and you wanted kids but they didnt,what would be the outcome.Im 43 never married and no kids and the amount of single mums that just flattly say no more kids,basically ends any type of correspondance.Views...!
 EdDiE46074
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 504
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:13:19 PM

So I got pregnant and was engaged....he left me while in Iraq for a girl on the internet...two weeks before i gave birth.....so i was stuck with heartache and a beautiful child.....so now im okay im a wonderful mom and i have a beautiful son....but do guys actually like single moms? I just have this gut feeling that no one will ever want me again because i have a child....i am not looking for a father for him... i am and will always be enough parent for him.....i am not looking for anyone to take care of him ...i can do that .....i am just looking for someone for ME....with hopes that they love my son too ....if not then i dont need them...Do guys get scared when you tell them you have a toddler? infant in my case...??? Just wondering really...would appreciate replies.


I love single moms! I believe some of them have gotten mature and can make a better couple, and with thier due respect, some are burning HOT. However it's a reality that not all men share my point of view.
I know some women that only date black guys, tall men, etc. So what!! it comes down to preferences. You need to understand that when a woman has a responsability, it makes things harder for her, and that includes dating.
He's out there somewhere.
 swimmer2u
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 506
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Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/1/2009 11:11:43 PM
Maybe when I was single I would have viewed you as having "baggage" in the form of kids. But now that I'm divorced and my two kids are my entire world, I look for women with children because I can relate to them more

I think you're a beautiful woman and you should just look at your child as a filter to ward of a-holes.

good luck to us both...

swimmer
 mm2868
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 508
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/2/2009 12:49:55 PM
you have to admit it's unfair to the woman though. Many women find single dads appealing because it's usually the women left with the child to fend for themselves. It shows strength of character. Also, these days there are a lot of families that are mixed, stepchildren etc... years ago I dated a man with a 3 year old and what was really hard was that I became attached to the child so when we broke up, it was a double whammy... and yes, I am a single mom myself. My daughter is 17 mos, and I am just now starting to get interested in dating. It does complicate things, but if the feelings are strong enough, I think it can be worked out. I just don't want to have my daughter get attached to man after man and since she is my priority, I have to be careful. However, you have to be in it to win it. Being a single mom doesn't automatically make you some kind of desperate loser. and btw, there are not only three scenarios in which a woman ends up single.
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