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 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 11
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I'd ask him; I don't know about you, but I can sit around all day long making shit up in my head, that, by the end of the day, seems like the truth to me.

Then I go home mad over some imagined slight, fight with that wonderful man, and it's all cause I didn't just TALK to him before I started making shit up in my head.

By the way, god bless you Scotty for puttin up with my spasticity...

Fry
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:23:23 AM

Truth be told, I'm sort of seeing someone anyhow right now. Not seriously, but I am.
I wanted to keep my options open 'cause the last guy I dated I found out was actually seeing me on the side keeping it from his FIANCE'.


I think you have a big double standard. In the one side you are all paranoid about the lipstick and stuff, and in the other you are seeing other people. My advice, let it be, and if you go out with this guy again. Grab the whatever is from the other woman, smile at him, and ask, "do you wear it often." That way there's no pressure and if he tells you he tells you and if he doesn't, well you haven't offered you truth either.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:28:07 AM

Now, the reason why I brought this up, IS....I don't want to be in a situation where I am seeing someone who HAS A SIGNIFICANT OTHER. That's different from what I have with the other guy I'm seeing. I'm not committed. We're not exclusive. BUT I don't want to be someone's 'hollaback girl' or girl 'on the side'.


Still, double standard. You know how you are in your relationship. What if the guy told you, that yes he is going out with somebody else as well, nothing serious. Would you still go out with him?
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 16
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:23:50 AM
Hm, well, I don't wear a lot of make-up, myself, but I have dated a few men who do. It doesn't bother me in the least. I actually LIKE eyeliner on a man! I blame Adam Ant.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 18
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:33:23 AM
Did you ever think maybe its his lipliner- hey some crazy shit has happened.

Well truthfully- he was probably using either his wifes or his girlfriends
SUV- thats why her lipliner and her smokes were there. You see someone
and he sees someone- it all comes out in the wash.
It obviously did not bother you as you were into the kiss- so, yeah
another thread.

curlygrl~
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 19
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:13:54 AM
Since enough have been said about the double standard here, I would like to mention something interesting, and that is how, women have a way of marking what they consider their territory and how men, usually are clueless about this things, until another woman finds the one earring, or the lip liner, or the panties, or the clasp and so on. Now, is this done on purpose? Or done at a subconscious level? Men, have this happened to you? Women, what to you think?
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 21
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:32:19 AM
He is embracing his feminine side. He also wears bras and panties and thigh-high stockings. So far, he hasn't found anyone who will accept the fact that he's that way. He's be most flattered if you offered to do his cosmetics for a private photo session. A lot of babes just can't handle that. He's not a latent queer, by the way. He just really, really loves women and feminine things. Really. Love, Titus
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 23
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:23:53 AM
I'd just forget you ever saw it.

I like to turn it around, what if you spilled your purse and a condom fell out? What would you think if he was asking you about it? Just a thought.

If you do continue to see him and get to know him (this was the first time you met) and you do decide to be exclusive then I'd bet something would come out in conversation that would give the answer without even having to ask.
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 24
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:31:10 AM
You are overreacting.

It was a first date. You also say you are "sort of seeing" someone. Doesnt he have the right to maybe be doing the same?

I assume he has dated as well...Maybe his last date left it. Last week, Last month, last year. Maybe it fell out of a purse last night, last week, last year and he just found it...

Maybe it belonged to a sister, daughter, mother....

I'd be curious,but its really none of your business. Enjoy the dates.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:22:47 PM
I am with Kat on this one.......nice novel but the question is why even worry about it?

I have had women in my cars, on my Harley, over to my house and yes, in my bedroom and there were things around from past relationships still there......and you point is?

If we are exclusive and in a relationship, then all those things get put away or trashed as needed, but until then, many things were gifts, or essentials left there to make it easier when over at my place, or in my car or on the back of my bike.

None of this is to flaunt anything or to let you know that others are in the picture, but more of an over sight that someone else may have been at one time, and they have not been removed yet. This is just a first date, not a commitment to exclusivity, or a player in any fashion.

Just my opinion......
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 2:06:45 PM

NOT = 'Oh, you're doing a double standard" or "Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black"...I asked for thoughts, opinions and advice on THE LIPSTICK IN THE TRUCK...


You could have spared us of the novel, and have simply asked. But quite frankly you set yourself up for this kind of response.
 IThought UWereAHandpuppet
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 40
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 12:38:57 PM
Just make sure he does not wear the same shoe size as you! I hate when that happens!
 barry1817
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 44
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:19:49 PM
You are sort of seeing another person and have problems that he might also be sort of seeing somebody else.

Seems to be an unrealistic expectation that he must not be seeing anybody but you can be sorta seeing others.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 45
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:23:23 PM

This may be a no brainer to many of you. I'm going to try and keep it brief


GAWD!!!...keeping it brief would have been..
"went on a date with a guy..got in his vehicle and saw a womans lipliner there...what should I think??"

to which I would have replied....WHY DIDNT YOU ASK HIMABOUT IT!!!

Could have been his sisters, his moms, his daughters best friends room mates dog walker.......or left from a date he had with someone...

and since you are already"kinda" seeing someone else anyway........why would you care if he was too?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 46
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:41:03 PM
Sheesh, people!
OK you had one date with the guy and saw a lipstick or whatever. So? I will suggest that you file that information away, and if you continue to see this man, keep in mind that though there MAY very well be a rational explanation, that it belonged to someone either family or platonic associated, lipstick is still not routine "guy stuff". Given the number of personal male acquaintances I've seen of late dye their hair, it may well be that males using cosmetics will also become a standard procedure.
Given the higher mobility of the dating populace, what with the internet and the ease of jumping on the Xway and hitting the bars in a town 40 miles away, meeting/dating someone who has a spouse or SO is simply an inherent risk. If that's unacceptable, people,get the fork OFF the internet and only date people who live in YOUR neighborhood and that you've known all your life. Or don't date at all. As for the OP also having dated or spent time with another man, so freakin what? As long as she hasn't promised exclusivity, why is it wrong for her to be getting to know a couple of different men?
Or is it a "whaa, she has 2 men interested and I have no men interested,it's not fair so I'm gonna raise hell about it"?
OP, again, I would certainly NOT call it a red flag but it is kind of noteworthy.
Cindy O
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 51
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:24:42 PM
Hmmmm Maybe you should have asked about it! Maybe hes like me and has 2 teenage daughters. I know for a fact right now there is ear rings and lord knows what else in my SUV LOL
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 52
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:32:47 PM
What I would have done was picked it up, looked at it and asked "This yours?" just to see his reaction. Understand, if you actually do something like this,you must keep a straight face and deadpan expression,as if it was a perfectly rational topic of conversation. No letting YOUR expression tip him off as to whether there is a WRONG answer.
Of course I don't let myself get all wound up about a guy until he shows himself to be WORTH getting wound up about. I pretty much always keep in the back of my mind the possibility that the guy might be a cheater, a gameplayer, or just plain lying about his life. I don't mean to imply that I EXPECT that, far from it!just that I keep the possibility in mind. Sort of an optimistic cynicism I guess...
Cindy O
 Goodnight MoonFish
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 55
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:38:53 PM
AHHHHHHHH!

Plain and simple. In the Queen's English.

Ask him about it.

I cannot for the life of me understand when people just do not come out and ask the questions that need asking. No wonder there is a huge multi-million dollar industry based on improving communication between men and women.

Without making a big deal over it, you could have just casually asked if the lipliner belonged to somebody close to him.

Done and Done. No wondering or guessing who it belongs to. Geez
 Hot Buttered Soul
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 60
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:36:16 PM
I love how people who are dating are never to have friends or contact with people of the opposite sex. The lipstick could've come from anyone.. Doesn't necessarily mean that other person was anymore invold than you are. Does the controlling, insecure, jealousy never end?

And by the way.. This was a first date right? What right have you to say about any aspect of his life or whom he spends it with. Perhaps you should spend a little more time entertaining yourself, then you wouldn't be bothered things about what everyone else is doing.

And you're seeing someone to 'keep your options open' Let me give you advice.. if you're going to play around.. tend your own business, you haven't earned the right to infringe on others business.
 svj
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 61
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:41:17 PM
anenigma: I'm not going to bother repeating a bunch of stuff that other people have already beat to death. But since you are still apparently reading this thread, I would like to point something out that will save you a little stress in the future.

Not everyone read the entire thread before posting. Depending on the length of the thread... most don't. They just read the original post, maybe the one or two directly after it... maybe the one or two at the very end, and then post their own opinion. Anything written on a page other than the first or whichever page is currently last is basically ignored.

So posting a clarification of what you meant to say later on in the thread is mostly useless, unless it's the 2nd post. Not that some people won't read it... they will but there is no way you'll get *all* future posters to read it. So you're always going to get people replying to the OP and the OP alone.

Chalk it up to experience. Make sure you get the question right the first time.
Short and succinct leaves less room for mis-interpretation.
You're best off just abandon this thread... as you already have the answers you seek. (it could be anyone... mother, sister, ex, friend, co-worker, etc.)

Continutally reading this thread and responding to the unending criticisms will only give you more grief.

Hope things work out for you!
 TheBestHands
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 62
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:42:49 AM
No red flags exactly, but pause for thought. If it was just the lip liner by itself or the cigarettes by themselves it would be one thing. But both together probably mean that there's a "she" that is in that truck with some regularity. It's probably not a daughter, though, since makeup is so expensive. And I can't imagine that you would have gotten in that truck in the first place if you didn't know already that he's got a daughter. One of the things that struck me in what you've written is that the guy didn't clean the truck up a little before this first date. That would be one of the few times that my truck is actually clean. It doesn't seem very thoughtful to me.

All of the posters that suggested that the only way to really know is to ask him about it, are right. But I don't think that it needs to be in the form of a light hearted comment though. Even without being in an exclusive relationship with anyone, you have the right to be curious about other people in a potential relationship. Its not just about having safe sex here, there's condoms for that. But about being safe in general. You have the opportunity to venture outside of your immediate area and friend base these days when dating, and it would be easy enough to wind up with someone with a psycho wife that doesn't appreciate your lips locked with her husband's. Ask him about it since it's clear that you like other things about the guy. If you think you can actually believe his answer, it sounds like you've got something to look forward to. I'm sure you won't find anything in the truck next time you're in it.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 65
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First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/27/2007 3:01:23 PM
Who cares whose lipstick it is? It was YOUR FIRST DATE!!!!!
 nocalsingledad
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 68
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 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 72
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:32:06 AM
^^^Yo--------SmartBlonde---do you realize the last time the OP posted to this topic was OVER a month ago??????? LOL

WHY do you people dig up these ancient posts when there's no activity on them for such lengths of time?
 dreamy
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 77
First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:45:15 PM
I think he has a G.F. u may be "the other woman"- just ask him- if u dare- if u don't- u may never know! Good luck to u!- both- p.s.I need a good man also- know anyone?
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