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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How do you handle "not so good" things in your profile?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sally bentley
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 52
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I would let the person get to know you a bit before laying on heavy stuff. Everyone has a lot of crap in their life.
 Jeep24015mama
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 53
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:38:36 PM
If there is something in your past that would negatively affect your new relationship, then you should share that at some point with the person that you are getting to know. Through your honesty, they can either accept it and be a part of your life or they will not be able to accept it and will choose to not be a part of your life.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 54
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:47:46 AM
My grandfather always told me to drag the skeletons out of the closet and lay them on the front lawn so that way no one has anything to "hold over your head".....

I've done that, and I know for a fact that it has made a few people (romantic and non-romantic), not want to be a part of my life, and that's okay, too, because if you're that "perfect", I don't NEED you in my life, imperfect soul that I am! Who needs the stress?
 ~Sunrise_Walker~
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 55
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?
Posted: 1/27/2009 8:20:44 AM
In my opinion, anything that could affect a prospective relationship, negatively or positively, should be discussed on the first or at least the second meeting. No need to put it out there if there's no interest in taking things any further. I certainly don't think it needs to be in the profile.
 pfif
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 56
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?
Posted: 7/19/2012 10:14:59 AM
I don't quite know how to convey this quickly, but in a very basic
way, there are people who've led somewhat sheltered lives, away
from (call it) urban angst, or Tex-Mex intrigue, &c. -- elements
of my journey. I have family whose eyes would go wide as saucers
if I narrated many of my own true life stories. I don't. They're
decent people
and, they're none too curious to ask.

As my life became more urbane, less of a need to explain deep back-
ground on me. It's old personal history. People wish me to listen,
not to speak as much. Their need to be heard seems to alleviate my
anxiety of being known; though in truth, it's not such a dicey story,
and probably gets interpreted as bragging, or war stories.

If people cut you off in conversation, they cannot very well lay down
accusation in the future, about timeliness of disclosure. I don't think
this is a worry; current status is more to the point, when dating.

That should be enough trouble for anyone -- no need to borrow more,
from a distant past.

Let them ask. Tell your truth. Accept the result, gracefully.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 57
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:42:14 PM
That's easy Op. (1) do not put these issues in your profile. Your profile should be like a resume, put your best foot forward. (2) If you have an opportunity to get to know somebody, you can release select information as you go along. As to the convict part, as long as you are reformed and it was a long time ago, I don't think its a deal breaker.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 58
How do you handle not so good things in your profile?
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:33:55 PM
I would not disclose any personal information to strangers before you meet, that you are not comfortable with. There are women who are turned on by the bad boys by the same token.

However if they dont like the pics on the profile they wont bother to contact you. So it all starts with that and how you write a profile. Stress only the positive things but dont lie, like so many do.

You will find that you wont get many replies if you are too honest about your past misdemeanours upfront. It is hard enough anyway, for men on dating sites.

If you are an ex con it would depend on the crime I would say. Everyone deserves a second chance in the main. We all do have some secrets but it depends on the nature, whether it is a dealbreaker or not.
Time to get personal once you have actually met someone and know them a while.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How do you handle "not so good" things in your profile?