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 docmpg29
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 72
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Would you date a cancer survivorPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
First of all,I like the name breath,because I appreciate and value every breath given to me since my cancer surgery. I am in remission and go for bi-yearly checkups. My only inhibition is that my cancer has left me incontinent,which leaves me a bit self-conscious about meeting someone and telling them about my situation. I posted a reply a few weeks ago asking for advice on when I should let a person I have made contact with know that I am a cancer survivor. I am a pretty confident individual with a great attitude (which has gotten me through this ordeal to the present), but, I am also sensitive and somewhat shy at times, and rejection because of an illness would hurt a bit.Please give me your opinion on when and how I should tell someone I meet about my ordeal. Thanks and stay healthy.
 quixotedon
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 74
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:05:12 AM
I have not dated any cancer survivors but several of my friends and aquaintances have been survivors. I think these people have a very balanced perspective on life and I have learned a lot from them.

If someone I was dating mention that to me I do not think it impact the relationship negatively at all. If someone hid it from me like they were ashamed of it or something like that, I think we would need to have a long talk about it. I would be interested to know why they were not secure enough to tell me about it sooner.

don
 docmpg29
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 75
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 10/25/2008 11:52:46 AM
After retiring in January,2006,I was ready to set my sights on making a future with the significant other that I had been with for the past 13 years. Suddenly, and without any warning,I was diagnosed with Bladder and prostate cancer in July, 2006. My significant other stuck by me through my surgery,chemotherapy,but,unfortunately in between my surgery in Feb,2007, I lost my dear mom in Dec,2006,and while recuperating from surgery, my significant other died in May, 2007 from a liver ailment. It is now Oct,2008, and my 62nd birthday is wed Oct 29th. I have been in remission for nearly 2 years now, and go for regular testing and followups. I joined Plenty of Fish in Sept,2008, and as I read some of the profiles, I wonder if there are any ladies who would date a cancer survivor, and accept me even though I have certain limitations. I think I posted a decent profile, honest and completely truthful, for that is the way I believe we should be, and how I was raised to approach people. I would date a cancer survivor,even though the word "Cancer" still makes me cringe. I am looking for an honest review of my profile. Can you give it a glance and tell me what you think.. Yes,it is truly difficult to pick yourself up after going through the cancer regimen,but, I have to believe that there are a few compassionate people still left in this world. Wishing you all the best.
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 76
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:46:10 AM
I lived with a cancer survivor who lost her leg to bone cancer. It was a wonderful relationship, and I only wish that we had figured out how to navigate the shoals of a long distance relationship and married each other.

I would never rule out a relationship with a cancer survivor.
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 79
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 10/30/2008 5:52:19 AM
What a nice post, fritzle. I really appreciate your activism and advocacy.

People are never just one thing, and as you say, melanoma does not define you. Your activities illustrate who you are far better than a clinical label.

-Gray
 Septimus
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 81
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/11/2008 10:29:58 PM
I did date a breast cancer survivor some years ago. The cancer was in remission when we met, unfortunately she had a type that could only be slowed but not stopped. Four times the doctors told her she was cancer free but eventually it returned. I can only try to imagine what it must have been like for her to have her life handed back to her and taken away again so many times. Though our time together was short, I don't regret getting involved with her. She needed help and I did what I could. Would I do it again? Difficult to know. It would depend on the circumstances I suppose.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 83
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/21/2008 4:05:51 AM
Stopped in to 'see' some of the new(er) posts.

To all the cancer survivors out there and those that lend their support to them,

here is wishing us all a happy/healthy holiday season and new year.

Best,
Steve
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 85
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:18:11 AM
Absolutely! In a heartbeat. The person is who I am dating not the illness. Sure things might need to be worked around, but why not. You work around other issues in dating, such as kids, pets, work, exes, why not cancer too.

Being a survivor, its not about the cancer, its about living a great life. I applaud all those who would take the time to date someone who has survived cancer. You are angels among us who keep us going when we need things the most.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 87
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/2/2008 5:58:17 AM
yes and yes

i would and he should

:)
 Nancy54534
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 88
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/2/2008 3:34:12 PM
Definitely would, who can say for any or each of us when that eternal time clock is going to chime for our timecard to be clocked out. You can have someone perfectly healthy who can have any illness or accident befall them or yourself. Live each day as if it was your last. Granted there are some who can't or won't deal with what needs to be done or entails in the life situation. That is quite understandable as long as they do handle the situation with dignity and tact. I have dealt with cancer, diabetes, dementia, strokes and heart attacks so very little would daunt me at all. What is there is the mutual positive and love with reinforcement. The positive aspects of a relationship can surmount time frames and obstacles for beating or increasing the doctor's pronouncements. Life is a gift not to be left in the dark or thrown around
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 89
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:11:17 AM
I would have to say no......having lost a partner to illness a few years ago has taken a lot out of me and I couldn't go through something like that again. Some may see this as selfish and go on and on about how we should treasure the moments we have with the people we love but that is of little comfort after you lose them. The hardest thing about the whole experience was accepting that she was gone, all the hopes and dreams we had for the future went with her. A potential recurrence with a new partner would be enough to scare me out of a relationship.
 stephaniezowie
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 93
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:54:19 PM
I can't believe that is a worry for you!!

It shouldn't matter to anyone that you were sick and got well.
I mean geez I drove 5 miles up the road today and never got hit
by a car!

I don't think there are many completely fit ppl online dating anyway! lol

OK. I am babbling and sorry!!

I am in recovery right now myself. I had kidney cancer. They had to remove my
right one last week.

I guess I haven't thought this through as far as you have because It hasn't dawned on
me at all that me overcoming cancer should be a conversation topic on any dates. I mean really we don't owe anyone an explanation. We've overcome something that some ppl don't. That oughta be a good thing I say.
 mjseek
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 95
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:20:11 PM
Well being a cancer survivor myself. I see no problem with dating one. None of us are guarantee tomorrow...things can change within a blink of an eye. The question is how do you really feel about that person. The worst thing one can do is to do things for that person out of pity...reassess your feelings and be honest with yourself.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 100
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/29/2008 7:15:20 PM
Sure! Cancer isn't AIDS and is not sexually transmittable. But...I get it--you don't want to get attached, for fear they get sick again, and or die, which you won't be able to handle. In any case, the motivation is YOU. You're thinking about yourself, not the other person. Yeah, a relationship is give-and-take, but, if you really like the person, you wouldn't be asking this question.

I watched my brother die of cancer, and it was the most miserable, most heartbreaking experience of my entire life. Would I like to stare death of a loved one in the face, point-blank, like that, again? No. But, if I really loved someone, hell yes, I'd be with them right up to the bitter end.
 docmpg29
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 101
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/7/2009 9:52:47 AM
Hi fritzle. Happy to read that you are accepting the things you cannot change.I feel the same way about me. I have lived alone for many years, as I was divorced back in 1994. I retired in Jan,2006,only to learn 6 months later that I had bladder cancer at stage 3.
I underwent major surgery in Feb, 2007, and so far have been recovering nicely with no signs of recurrence. Of course, I have a few more years until the oncologist declares you completely cured,and I try to accept each report as a positive step to many more years on earth. I have a 3 year old grandson to spend more time with and see him succeed in life.
I have seen you on the Plenty of Fish website, and I think you have read my profile. Sorry you are not in New York, so that we could meet,but, there is no reason why we cannot be friends.
I can't say that cancer is the best thing that has every happened to me, because my type has had an effect on my manhood and ability to be totally intimate if I met someone in the future. It is probably as difficult as a women who had survived breast cancer or ovarian or cervical cancer,and could not bear children.
These forum posts will probably showup on my profile,and this is probably why I have not clicked with anyone as yet. Maybe,there will be some people who will aceept us as people,and not diseased or damaged goods
I wish you all the best and keep in touch. God created us, and he will protect us too.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 102
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/9/2009 9:38:14 PM
as long as he has a good personality and he treats me good - its all good in the books. i honestly would date a cancer survivor.
 Camillya
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 103
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/9/2009 10:51:12 PM
Yes, I would. I myself, am a survivor. I hadn't thought of it as a problem, until I read your message. I never mentioned it in my profile, because I didn't think it was important. Most of the men I met for a coffee or dinner, didn't think it as a problem either. Ofcourse, I am an older lady and maybe they expect it? What I mean by that, is that at one time or another, we all get sick. Some more serious than others, but we all go thru the aches and pains of growing older, and some are worse off then others. My husband passed away. His illness was not an issue. Loving , taking care of someone you love and care for can never be an issue. If someone is afraid of this, they should stay safe and maybe stay single?
 Rockatanksy1
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 104
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:56:36 AM
Hello Docmpg29,

I realize this is an old message and you might not even get this response/question but I thought I would give it a shot.

As a man currently battling cancer myself, I was curious to see how you worded it in your profile. I have to say your profile is informative and touching. I can't see how you would not get some positive responses to it.

My question is, how has it worked for you confiding off the bat that you had cancer in your past. I'm debating one putting it in my profile too, although I am currently in the midst of battle. So far, my dating post-cancer diagnosis has been none-existent. The women, including the one that I was dating when I found out, just ran for the hills in terror.

So if you wouldn't mind, please email me back with your thoughts regarding mentioning cancer in your profile.

I wish you the best and thank you for your time.

Paul
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 105
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:05:00 PM
I put the fact that Im dealing with cancer right up in front of my profile. I have gotten positive responses to it.. mostly saying how they enjoyed how upbeat it was.
I am sure it has decreased my response rate.. but not stopped them either. I have gotten dates even with that in my profile.
 medic51
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 106
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/2/2013 10:25:25 PM
I am a Cancer Survivor as well, I had a girl support me through it and then left when i needed her the most. Its hard especially when your older. I am always up front about it and even tho i am being honest it seem a turn off to women.
 minervyx
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 107
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:31:24 PM
i would, if i found them attractive in and out
 northwoodsgirl1
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 108
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:17:24 AM

Would you date a person that has been sick? Or would you feel they may again become ill and you would not want to be a part of it. Should a person be upfront about any illness they may have had that could be an issue in the future?


Yes, of course. Illness is not a deal breaker. I've dated guys with MS, MD, transplants, and disabled.
 rob4320
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 109
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/16/2013 11:38:21 AM
Of course they need to be honest and up front or else your living a lye that will not last.
I would date a cancer survivor,
I might be in worst shape in a few years and I would want her to stick it out with me.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 110
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 8/8/2014 8:27:59 AM
Yes, and currently am dating a cancer survivor.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 111
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 8/17/2014 2:48:15 PM
Yes. Sure there is a chance that the cancer returns. There is also a chance a person dies in a car accident. The point is you can't predict what will happen in the future.
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