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Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 125
Would you date a cancer survivorPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Well being a cancer survivor myself. I see no problem with dating one. None of us are guarantee tomorrow...things can change within a blink of an eye. The question is how do you really feel about that person. The worst thing one can do is to do things for that person out of pity...reassess your feelings and be honest with yourself.
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 126
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:47:19 AM
Great posting,,,as in some of lifes apects,,some fall into that "pit" of dispare ,,,yes be it divorce,,,break ups,,,the wide range of lifes experiences,,re enforcing self pity only enourages one to stay down/into even more self pity,,yet we all have seen aspects where some cannot honestly look into themselves,,to always be reassing and being honest with themselves,,for when they do look back,,,,it opens the door to self awareness,self imporvement,,and yes in the cases of terminal issues acceptence.
Have a great day,,,Dave:)
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 127
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/25/2008 8:02:18 AM
I have to admit i agree with Felinity - I am a cancer survivor of once again a rare type of cancer - i lost 1/3 of my tongue and so far have had leukoplakia 2 - and 3 biopsies. I was living with a guy who when i first met him told me my cancer was not the issue, and then proceeded to mention it every single bloody day. His friends asked him why he was dating someone with cancer and he magnanimously told them that even if you got 5 months or 5 years with the right person it's enough blah blah blah - he was an alcoholic chain smoker who refused to do anything about it - but continued to remind me how defective I was - he died last year.
Now on the other hand - i once met a guy who's girlfriend had just been diagnosed with cancer - she had long beautiful hair and was upset about losing it - so he shaved all his hair off too - and this was in the days before the number 2.
So I guess there's good and bad out there - you've just got to pick and choose, we have a different view point to life than others and we need to remember that this is a part of us IT'S NOT US. I know in my own case it has ultimately made me a better person, i'm more compassionate, don't fret and stress out over the material, and see beauty in everything and everyone. The type of cancer i have has a 5% survival rate to 5 years, and it's now been 10yrs and even though it's back (but hasn't gone invasive yet so cant be operated on), i'm still kicking - so i guess i must be doing something right.
One of the biggest problems i have, is the risk, you meet someone you like, you're getting to know them, when do you tell them?, and what happens if they run?, how do you deal with the constant rejection- because trust me, whilst a lot of them say they wouldn't - when they get faced with it - they do. But they won't come out and tell you that, they'll just stop calling, create an argument, etc etc,.
This is the reality we live with everyday - nothings going to change it - unfortunately. We just have to learn to deal with it. I've just put something on my profile -just to test it - you watch them run lol-but the right ones won't - and the others i don't want to know anyway.
Remember : This is a part of us - IT IS NOT US - WE ARE NOT DEFECTIVE -and don't let anybody make you feel otherwise, we are beautiful, fantastic people who laugh, cry, hurt, get angry, feel happy, love and live - in short we're just like everyone else, we've just had a shitty disease. Please take care with us
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 128
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/25/2008 10:12:13 AM
Yes I would date a man that beat cancer. Yes there is always a chance that the cancer could come back. But anyone could get sick or injured at any time.
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 129
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/25/2008 10:57:31 AM
If i knew beforehand the girl i was interested in had cancer, i wouldn't date her.

If it happened while i was in a long term with her.. i wouldn't dump her for that reason.
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 130
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/25/2008 2:32:24 PM
Not only would I date a cancer survivor , I have dated a survivor ............while my experience is limited Ive known a few survivors and one thing I love about them ... THEY ARE STRONG individuals, the way they approach life with a heads on approach.
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 131
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/29/2008 1:27:37 PM
Why not?

If the magic spark is there then enjoy...
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 132
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/29/2008 7:15:20 PM
Sure! Cancer isn't AIDS and is not sexually transmittable. But...I get it--you don't want to get attached, for fear they get sick again, and or die, which you won't be able to handle. In any case, the motivation is YOU. You're thinking about yourself, not the other person. Yeah, a relationship is give-and-take, but, if you really like the person, you wouldn't be asking this question.

I watched my brother die of cancer, and it was the most miserable, most heartbreaking experience of my entire life. Would I like to stare death of a loved one in the face, point-blank, like that, again? No. But, if I really loved someone, hell yes, I'd be with them right up to the bitter end.
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 133
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/7/2009 9:52:47 AM
Hi fritzle. Happy to read that you are accepting the things you cannot change.I feel the same way about me. I have lived alone for many years, as I was divorced back in 1994. I retired in Jan,2006,only to learn 6 months later that I had bladder cancer at stage 3.
I underwent major surgery in Feb, 2007, and so far have been recovering nicely with no signs of recurrence. Of course, I have a few more years until the oncologist declares you completely cured,and I try to accept each report as a positive step to many more years on earth. I have a 3 year old grandson to spend more time with and see him succeed in life.
I have seen you on the Plenty of Fish website, and I think you have read my profile. Sorry you are not in New York, so that we could meet,but, there is no reason why we cannot be friends.
I can't say that cancer is the best thing that has every happened to me, because my type has had an effect on my manhood and ability to be totally intimate if I met someone in the future. It is probably as difficult as a women who had survived breast cancer or ovarian or cervical cancer,and could not bear children.
These forum posts will probably showup on my profile,and this is probably why I have not clicked with anyone as yet. Maybe,there will be some people who will aceept us as people,and not diseased or damaged goods
I wish you all the best and keep in touch. God created us, and he will protect us too.
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 134
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/8/2009 5:12:06 PM
well if people wouldnt date cancer survivors i guess that means i would never have a date again. im a 8 yr cancer survivor. plus what if someone uyou are dating and has never been sick and then they get cancer? would you stop dating them because they got sick?
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 135
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/9/2009 9:38:14 PM
as long as he has a good personality and he treats me good - its all good in the books. i honestly would date a cancer survivor.
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 136
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/9/2009 10:51:12 PM
Yes, I would. I myself, am a survivor. I hadn't thought of it as a problem, until I read your message. I never mentioned it in my profile, because I didn't think it was important. Most of the men I met for a coffee or dinner, didn't think it as a problem either. Ofcourse, I am an older lady and maybe they expect it? What I mean by that, is that at one time or another, we all get sick. Some more serious than others, but we all go thru the aches and pains of growing older, and some are worse off then others. My husband passed away. His illness was not an issue. Loving , taking care of someone you love and care for can never be an issue. If someone is afraid of this, they should stay safe and maybe stay single?
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 137
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:56:36 AM
Hello Docmpg29,

I realize this is an old message and you might not even get this response/question but I thought I would give it a shot.

As a man currently battling cancer myself, I was curious to see how you worded it in your profile. I have to say your profile is informative and touching. I can't see how you would not get some positive responses to it.

My question is, how has it worked for you confiding off the bat that you had cancer in your past. I'm debating one putting it in my profile too, although I am currently in the midst of battle. So far, my dating post-cancer diagnosis has been none-existent. The women, including the one that I was dating when I found out, just ran for the hills in terror.

So if you wouldn't mind, please email me back with your thoughts regarding mentioning cancer in your profile.

I wish you the best and thank you for your time.

 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 138
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:05:00 PM
I put the fact that Im dealing with cancer right up in front of my profile. I have gotten positive responses to it.. mostly saying how they enjoyed how upbeat it was.
I am sure it has decreased my response rate.. but not stopped them either. I have gotten dates even with that in my profile.
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 139
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:25:40 PM
I would.
I seem to meet most of the women that won't. Mine were treated, so I kind of viewed it as past and not something to dwell on. I didn't make any mention in my profile because it really isn't something I live around. I think of myself as being normal, just needing a pill--doctors can't even tell until they read my record. I had known one girl for a couple of months and she asked about a medication so I told her....she was furious, up and left.
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 140
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/2/2013 10:25:25 PM
I am a Cancer Survivor as well, I had a girl support me through it and then left when i needed her the most. Its hard especially when your older. I am always up front about it and even tho i am being honest it seem a turn off to women.
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 141
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:31:24 PM
i would, if i found them attractive in and out
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 142
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/16/2013 8:17:24 AM

Would you date a person that has been sick? Or would you feel they may again become ill and you would not want to be a part of it. Should a person be upfront about any illness they may have had that could be an issue in the future?

Yes, of course. Illness is not a deal breaker. I've dated guys with MS, MD, transplants, and disabled.
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 143
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/16/2013 11:38:21 AM
Of course they need to be honest and up front or else your living a lye that will not last.
I would date a cancer survivor,
I might be in worst shape in a few years and I would want her to stick it out with me.
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 144
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 8/8/2014 7:58:53 AM
I am a cancer survivor and doing quite well. Still getting chemo and radiation but not sick and certainly not boring

 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 145
Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 8/8/2014 8:27:59 AM
Yes, and currently am dating a cancer survivor.
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 146
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Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 8/17/2014 2:48:15 PM
Yes. Sure there is a chance that the cancer returns. There is also a chance a person dies in a car accident. The point is you can't predict what will happen in the future.
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