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 real1foryou
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 834
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Dinner Date - Who Pays?Page 38 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
I doubt that anyone calling women gold diggers means it in the simplistic way of accepting an offered meal. Actually, most people I know (women more than men) would profusely refuse to accept such an offered meal.
I'm sure you know by now that the gold digger accusers are talking about the attitude, the demanding posturing, the entitlement mentality that goes with the term gold diggers.
Sort of like the back and forth with the guy who says I PAY! He might be as simple and naive as that but I doubt it. Otherwise he'd be running up and down the street giving money to strangers because he loves doing that. I can give him a way to send me money by paypal if that was as simple as his thought processes are. BUT HE IS NOT THAT SIMPLE.... I'd rather believe that there are charming and giving ladies that he knows very well that factor in to his 'respect' (otherwise he is using the wrong word for his feeling toward them.) He is probably NOT a fool and there are many cues to him that the gal is not a gold digger or a dead beat or a panhandler. He just didn't put it in his post.
Most guys, when dealing with good ladies are caring and fair. We do know a great many females who aren't endearing in attitude and genuineness and so we just don't spend time with them. The guy who posted that I PAY! just doesn't let the bad apples get that far. Let's think the best of him. I am VERY generous to crippled children and elderly causes and generous to family and friends, I'm just not into the gold diggers cause. Just not into that at all.
Much success to the rest of you,
Judge
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 835
Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:44:26 PM
veryreal1,

Thanks for all your wisdom. What would we all do without your college educated highness? It was a text book example of insulting everybody who doesn't share your point of view. Did they teach you this in college? Or is it a natural skill? I am really impressed, one way or another.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 863
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Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:35:40 PM

I've been on these forums a very long time & I find that every time a "Who pays" topic comes out at least halve the women, if not more, simply conflict with the data you state in your "Book". Yes the women & men for that matter, in these forums have spoken quite well in that regard. I usually find the same few people jumping up and down that a man pays ect, when it seems the majority are more open minded with going dutch, who asks pays, taking turns paying.


Here's the thing, cooldude...the forums aren't very representative of real life...at least not my real life...I have never, in one instance, had any of these issues come up in my entire life , in the real world...for that matter, every date I have had from online dating, there was none of this arguing about who's paying for what... I didn't even know this was an issue till I got on the forums ( and most of the other issues on here too)...I think either the kind of people who like to post, or the kinds of people drawn to argue about gender differences are just drawn here in bigger numbers...and certainly some angry and bitter people too...I try to avoid those in either venue...

As vulf has said...in my life..who ever invites pays...it has always worked, and I'm sure it will continue to work in my world...so, anything I say here is just for the fun of debate...since the kind of guys I attract or are attracted to, follow the same patterns...I don't really have to worry about it...

And not once , in my entire life, has anybody accused me of taking advantage of anyone else...

If anything...I am the antitheses of that statement...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 880
Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:39:53 AM

Dinner Date - Who Pays?

It seems to me that was the original question.
Let me speak to that with a relatively short answer for those of us with ADD...

The most reliable course of action is the male asks the female out on a date and the male pays. It's a nice touch, a courteous gesture, a nod to "equality" if the lady offers to get the tip, and such a gesture should not be seen as proof that the lady is a militant feminist.Actually a "militant feminist" would be the one most apt to insist on separate checks.
Now if the male has decided he doesn't care to continue seeing this female, separate checks will generally ensure that won't be happening,unless she is in fact a very dedicated feminist,or very needy/desperate.( Dedication to a cause is always admirable,unless that cause pisses you off to no end...and I get the distinct impression that dedicated feminism does EXACTLY that to a lot of males. Desperation/neediness is just sad.)

IF the dating continues/becomes courtship then a woman worth knowing will try to make sure that a suitor she values is not being unduly burdened financially,and that his efforts are appreciated. Sex is an event of mutual desire, NOT a "reward", or an "expression of appreciation. Men who encourage the women they date to use sex as a medium of exchange DESERVE to find themselves in relationships where the woman uses sex as a tool/weapon.

So, guys, expect to pay for those first few dates. If doing that a lot is going to strain your budget, then you must screen/filter intensely when using "personal ads" as a means of meeting women,and keep those first meetings inexpensive. Or, stick to the "old school" ways of meeting women, so chemistry/physical attraction gets established BEFORE you start dating.
And ladies, never go on a date without money or a credit card,just in case,for whatever reason, you need to pay for the date or at least your share. That's called being a responsible adult who is capable of looking after themselves, a trait applicable to BOTH genders.
Do not ABUSE a man's generosity. If you find it necessary to date in order to bring food and entertainment into your life, then you need to to some serious re evaluation of not only your dating goals, but your life ones as well.
Cindy O
 Remagine
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 882
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Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/10/2008 2:03:10 PM
Some of you guys are frikken cheap LOL. Hi, the Man pays for dinner. The way I see it is if they make it thru my super-secret screening process then they deserve a free meal. The rest, the POF professionals and ones with old and/or pixelated pics get Starbucks.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 885
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Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/10/2008 6:34:35 PM
Thank you Bob...at least some men still like women ...lol...
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 890
Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:02:56 PM
You pay.
You asked.

If she offers, suggest she buy the ice cream. And head for a shop where you can both snag a cone and talk.

Where you work and how much she makes is irrelevent and THAT comment is rude. Means you're thinking of the date already on monetary terms and comparing what you have to what she has. That's wrong thinking, dude.

It ain't about money!
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 892
Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:22:39 PM
Dude! The ORIGINIAL date for this entire thread was last YEAR.
More than likely the damn poster has already had the date, had the girl, had a baby, and a divorce and is BACK on POF looking for suspect number 2 for his next baby. Move on.


Just say "NO!" to recycling threads and topics!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 893
Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:06:45 PM

So.....if I often ask for separate cheques, what does that make me if I'm not a feminist?

The exact words I used were "most apt to". Asking for separate checks doesn't automatically make you a feminist but it does make you a suspect lol.

I GET the concept of establishing that one is not a gold digger...but I for one do not care to enter into an ongoing involvement with a man who is that damaged and fearful.

The other situation outside of hyperindependence or militant feminism is the woman who had had it up to HERE with men who think her ass is for sale, and that the price is dinner. I guess I could understand that, but I would wonder why she seemed to keep having that same experience.
Cindy O
 lil red corvette
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 895
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Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:40:27 PM
Not been on many date eh ?
If the lady offers to contribute .. ask if she is sure.. if she confirms let her share.

Hope you are ready for the more complicated choices to come ..... :)
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