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 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 56
How do you let someone down easy?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
^^^ There you go, making our jobs all the harder -- er, more difficult!

Really, Mom, you are a handful!

Now, about that questionnaire ...
 windowshopping04
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 58
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/10/2007 10:51:23 PM
hmmmm....
no ping pong balls here, either... only cat toys (bells and all) - just doesn't seem the same... besides, the cats don't take it well when I crush their toys - no matter by what method...

c'mon Momi... do tell... inquiring minds wanna know!

OT (sorta') - The "it's not you, it's me" path usually spares feelings and gets the message across. On the other hand, there has been at least one occasion which called for displays of serious clinical psychoses (and even then, he was reluctant to turn loose... <<Sigh>>).
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 59
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/11/2007 12:23:40 AM

there has been at least one occasion which called for displays of serious clinical psychoses


Some guys really like that!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 66
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:00:48 PM
Tell him..."You are very sweet and wonderful - but just not for me."
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 67
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:42:44 PM
I just had another brilliant idea! Take him to your local karaoke bar and sign up for and sing "The Big Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall. When you get to the part where you sing.... "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no...you're not the one for me!" .......... Look directly into his eyes!!!!
 PurrrrrfectAnna
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 68
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/11/2007 8:57:40 PM
Momi,

Where are you? Are you ok? lol Please.... How did things go with StalkerMan from Match?
Do tell!!!!

PA
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 71
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:27:29 PM
Take him to your local karaoke bar ...


That alone should be enough, Fancy! Why do I get the feeling you've done this before?
 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 73
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:56:56 PM

I know if a man took me to a kareoke bar, it would make me not want to date him anymore...


That was YOU?
 ItsaKelticthing
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 74
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:12:44 AM

oh no!!! What happens if you get a splinter?

I have tweezers and I know how to use them.
 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 76
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/14/2007 6:20:27 PM
Well, it's not good to leave him hanging... but on the other hand, you can't just drop him - well you can, but it doesn't always produce the clean break you would hope for. Even when you've decided to end it, dumping a guy is not that easy - and there's always a chance it could get messy. But in the end, when you're finally at the end of your rope, all you can do is cut him loose and hope he goes quietly instead of kicking and screaming.
 windowshopping04
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 77
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/14/2007 6:38:02 PM
^^^ awww, geeze, Pete!! Gallows humor?!? If I weren't laughing so hard, I'd probably chastise you (but then again, you might enjoy that!) :::shaking head and giggling, still:::

OOTP - (thank goodness for abbreviations)
Y'know - O4 was right - there is no "easy" when it comes to rejection... not on the giving side and not on the receiving side...
 o4
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 78
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 12/14/2007 8:51:32 PM
Windowshopping:

Waitress! Another bubble durbin please!

 ray12k
Joined: 4/19/2010
Msg: 79
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 7/13/2010 7:40:26 PM
[qoute] I have pretty much established that he is difficult and will be hard to take anywhere and fit in with my social circle.
[/qoute]

Just tell him that.
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 80
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 7/14/2010 12:23:25 PM
letting him down easy... hmmm...

how about:

"I'm so sorry I won't be able to get together with you any more... my husband is getting out of prison today!"

That might work.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 81
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 7/24/2010 5:14:49 PM
a difficult ... "let someone down easy" when you're dealing with someone who's a little frightening ... is to convince them that THEY are dumping YOU!! ...

you convince them that YOU are not meeting THEIR expectations ... that you have somehow disappointed them ... that they need and deserve someone better ... you apologize but say you feel it's time for you to let them move on with their lives as you can see that you're somehow NOT WHO THEY want ...

they rarely get angry ... or stalk you ... if they think they dumped you ...

it's dicey, tho, cuz sometimes the person will later call you back saying he can't remember how things went wrong between you ... and you have to say something like, "I think you just moved on with your life because I wasn't who you were looking for ... I wasn't nurturing enough!" ... or something ...

I know this falls into the "gamesmanship" category ... but it's easier ... and safer ... when they're frightening people ... I don't CARE what they think of me as long as they go away ...
 GolfCoast
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 82
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 7/25/2010 6:17:06 PM
Bore em to death, take up Mandarin Chinese stamp collecting, develop an obsession with Leni Riefenstahl movies, or the Kennedy assassination. Soon leaving will be their idea and you can resume active participation in the wonders of POF.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 83
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 7/30/2010 6:53:32 PM
of even more interest to ME are the ways men have DUMPED ME!!

a couple, after a 1st or 2nd date, have just not bothered to call again ... that's easy ... for them ... cuz, unless we're on a very comfortable footing well into a relationship, I'm not about to call them ... so there's no confrontation at all ... no "good-bye" drama ... but I do wonder what went wrong ...

one man just disappeared from the face of the earth ... that's probably more difficult to accomplish ... I mean ... I'd routinely bumped into him at the grocery store, church, sporting goods stores, various clubs for years ... this is a small town! and he suddenly disappeared ... should I have put out an APB? we weren't in a relationship, just casually dating occasionally ... but maybe he's dead in a ditch ... could be ... it's a mystery ...

one man I casually dated off and on for ten years called to tell me he wanted to go to dinner with me in two weeks, set the time and date ... then moved to Arizona ... I discovered he'd moved to Arizona when I saw an advertisement for one of his books several years later! he'd added a "Ph.D." to his name so the book would sell better ... I wonder if that book did sell better than the others without the "Ph.D." ...

it's not like I'm a stalker type ... it's not like I'm a hysterical ninny who would cry if they said they were no longer interested ... it's not like we were all involved ...

it's just that I HATE not knowing the end of the story ... it's like I've been reading this book and suddenly discover someone tore out the last few pages ...

 GolfCoast
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 84
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 7/30/2010 8:02:05 PM
Molly I really liked the way you expressed yourself... like someone tore the ending pages out of a story. That almost makes me understand the "closure" deal. The women I've known always seem more interested in fleshing out the story ending than men seem to be. I generally don't care, my method of distancing includes seeks less rather than more closure, placing the romance into a memory hole nearly as dark as Obama's origins.

Having said that the closure conversations are often amusing. A woman I dated for several years, one who unsuccessfully negotiated daily for more children (she was 30 something, I was 50 something) and had a bad habit of several times a year finding herself in love with new, children loving man lol. Finally she found such a man, married him, and had twins. Perhaps 6 months after having the twins called me and asked with innocent sincerity..."whatever happened between us?" After banging the phone several times on the table very loudly I told her something must be wrong with my phone I coulda sworn you asked me what happened between us?

I must have satisfied her closure needs as I have not heard from her since.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 85
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 8/19/2010 2:15:52 PM
Football Mom, way back in January 2006, posted "ways to turn down unwanted men" in the HUMOUR section of these forums ... people still comment ... it's on the top page ...

check it out for a giggle ...
 GolfCoast
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 86
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 8/19/2010 4:37:51 PM
LOL Paul your story and mine are much the same except mine was a divorced well, dyed her hair so many times she forgot the color, horsey-set gal from Virginia. When I had a DC office she was one of my interns and she was married-well during that period. She was a terrible intern (it's hard to be an intern when you know everything) but a great deal of fun.

The only thing I truly miss about her these days is her politics, there was no chance I was going to wake up one day realizing my new gf was an Obama-loving, OJ juror like the last few I've dated.
 fzrhusker
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 87
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 8/29/2010 12:23:48 PM
Don't cut the bungee line until they are almost to the bottom. It not that fall that hurts, its the sudden stop at the bottom.
 AscendedMaster
Joined: 9/24/2010
Msg: 88
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How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 11/11/2010 6:37:42 AM
If it didn't feel right the first time, why did it take a third time to reconfirm what you already knew? When were you planning to get smart and cut the train loose?

A way to let him down easy you have two choices the direct way or the indirect way. If you're courageous enough meet him somewhere in public be confident, casual, and cool. Speak clearly and look him directly in the eye. Let him know you're not interested. Period. Say nothing after that. Should he ask you for a reason, give him one sufficient enough to not leave him wondering. Hopefully you can brainstorm and come up with a few prior to being asked that question.

The indirect way... just start distancing yourself, not immediately returning phone calls, staying very busy and out of sight. This could cause him to call you more and possibly show up but if he's smart he won't tolerate such behavior and be on his way without much fuss.

Both methods depend on which feels safer to you.


The Septemberman
 MusicFanGeek
Joined: 7/5/2010
Msg: 89
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 11/14/2010 9:01:20 PM
Excuse my language...but what a little ****. Sounds like your dating a boy and not a man.
 MusicFanGeek
Joined: 7/5/2010
Msg: 90
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 11/14/2010 9:01:45 PM
oops...wrong thread. haha
 MusicFanGeek
Joined: 7/5/2010
Msg: 91
How do you let someone down easy?
Posted: 11/14/2010 9:03:32 PM
Actually...nm...it's the right thread.
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