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 pretty greeneyes
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 7
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fatherless children and dating...??Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Well now she did say please don't ,,,

Being a mom isn't easy and a single parent makes it even harder. Just always think things thur before you do them, since now you are not the only one

Like some have said, give it time, make sure the man knows you have a child. If another child comes into the picture at a later date it up to you to make sure you son isn't left out. He will always be your child and when you do settle down again , need to let him belong to the new father. A man or a woman can love a child even if they didn't give birth or donate sperm .
 brandy_n_3
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 12
fatherless children and dating...??
Posted: 12/8/2007 10:45:18 AM
I understand you wantiing to date to be around people but come on you are 19 been engaged 7 TIMES! Clearly you are picking the wrong kind of guy and what does that show your son. BAsed on those stats you are going to be one of those moms who have a new "daddy" every freaking week in that kids life. IF you want to be around other adults make friends, you don't have to date anyone to get that time with other people. You are looking for some prince charming to come along and sweep you off your feet, and it ain't goning to happen. Dating at 11! where the heck were your parents when they shouldhave been teaching you some level of self-respect and that you don't need a man to define who you are. By saying you have never been single for more thana month since the age of 11, 7 engagements before being old enough to know what real love is, heck that is 1 engagement a year, shows that you do define who you are by being with a man. Get your life together, focus on your son and find out who you are as an individual. Maybe get some counselling to deal with the fact that you can't seem to be unable to go without a man in your life to make you feel whole. Of course I say this with all the care and coddling possible. Frankly, you better get it together or your child will be the one who suffers and honestly that is the person I am worried about based on what you posted.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 20
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fatherless children and dating...??
Posted: 12/9/2007 12:05:54 PM

ok what i meant about the no critisism is for 1 i dont need ppl when i'm asking for advice, to start saying stuff like the first responder. you know the saying if you cant say anything nice, dont say it at all. that applys here.
there are too many ppl in my situation.. but differently.
if you want to critisize where i am in life.. go find a life. i'm trying to do the best for my son.
why am i so in a hurry to date.
to be completely honest.. i've NEVER ever been single my entire life for more than a month. i've had this membership since.. september?? and i've met some amazing ppl on here. ive also dated ppl at my school. dating is what i've done since i was 11. so sorry if im in a "hurry". i'm not. i just like being around ppl. my bad. also on that quest to find that "true love" i've heard so much about. 7 fiances later... still not in true love.


I am surprised that this thread hasn't been deleted. OP, have you read simliar threads on this before you made this thread that sounds so similiar. Dating is hard, add being a parent makes it harder. No one has it easy, we're all in the same boat.

You do seem like you're in a hurry. And as you said, you o nly had a month of being single, that's really not enough to reflect on what you want in yourself, what you want in a guy, what you want in a relationship much less what you want him to be in your son's life. And you're thinking already of a family? Hit the pause button, and take time to be with your son, the baby stage goes so fast, my daughter is now 2, I can't believe how fast she has grown. do you really want to take time away from him by dating? You can't say no if someone wants to date, well that should tell you that you need to take time away so you can build your self esteem and your confidence that you can say no, it's not being mean, it's just you're not ready to date even if that person is nice. Jumping from one relationship to another isn't healthy or stable for either you or now your son, so please take the time off so you can focus on your life with your son, then once you know the type of person you want to date, then look for those qualities, not just date around just to not be alone. Hang out with friends if you dont' want to be alone. But I find that statement you made sad, because now that I have my daughter I couldn't consider myself being alone, I have someone to share my life with.

Another thing to consider is how much can you invest in a relationship when you have a baby to take care of on your own? You will need to find a way to balance it all , and that's hard to do when everyone wants your time and you'll get burnt out.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 23
fatherless children and dating...??
Posted: 12/10/2007 7:44:10 AM
Don't be scared. Do what is right for you and your son, My son wants a step-dad. He keeps asking me for one. But what we went through for him to get over his father not being there is not something i'd wish on anyone. Your son is young now and he won't be hurt at this young age..it's harder when they get older.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 30
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fatherless children and dating...??
Posted: 12/10/2007 10:40:16 AM
fab-mom, if you look thru the forum there's a few threads done by Johne102 that repetitively talks of his stereotypical view of single moms just by his bad experiences with single parents, plus not to mention his repetitively fear of the loca parentis thing they have in canada where even if you're not the father, you can still be held reponsible for paying child support. I'm sure after seeing you're message, he will again reilliterate his viewpoint. And as some of us do, we ignore it and try to move on, but that's kind of hard to do.
 Susan99
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 61
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fatherless children and dating...??
Posted: 12/22/2007 10:16:01 AM
I have to agree here. I am the single mother of an 8 yr. old. My son comes first. If the man doesn't like the fact that I have a son, then he is not worth my time. I also wait until atleast 8 months to year before introducing the two of them. My motto is always: I would rather be single and happy than taken and miserable.
Good Luck, Susan
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