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 AUTHOR
 JohnsAtaraxy
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 130
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I am definitely, I repeat, definitely not meant to be in any kind of relationship due to the fact that I am selfish and probably immature and/or not limited to the fact that I also have communication issues. But for some odd reason, even though all of my sarcastic forum replies are on my profile, my in box still explodes.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 153
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/24/2008 2:03:18 PM

The better question is why do some people THINK they are great in relationships and have no clue how harmful they are in one.

I've dated two such men.

LMAO - amen!!
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 155
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:33:57 AM
I think that there are times in our lives at which we are not ready for relationships. It really is torturous when you fall in love with somebody in that position.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 163
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:42:22 AM
I commend the many good insights I've read in here.

From the looks of it people are not in as much denial as I thought, since many have freely expressed they are NOT relationship material and have come clean about their shortcomings. Self-awareness "doesn't" seem to be the problem.

The problem with so many dysfunctional relationships regarding this, then, looks more like disconnection with one's own perception vs the actions one takes? Meaning, if you "know" you're lousy relationship material, why do you constantly get into them??
 punkgeek
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 164
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 11/30/2008 3:51:19 PM
OP- it's hard for me to completely understand what you are asking-(she may have left the building a long time ago- or met someone)
You are asking about being 'good at' relationships or seeking/finding them- those are two different issues-
Arguably, most people aren't 'good at' relationships, given the high divorce rate and transitory nature of so many relationships.
It sounds like you want to be in a relationship otherwise you wouldn't be on here-
And you are asking yourself questions it seems as well- Maybe therapy might be a good place to explore these doubts you have.
There are people who decide to be asexual- famous ones like Thoreau and Kant come to mind. And there was George Washington Carver who couldn't keep a girlfriend because he was so obsessed with his work.
But best wishes to you-
 JonIn92656
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 167
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 11/30/2008 5:22:11 PM
I AM meant to be in a relationship. The people I get involved with are NOT meant to be in one though.
 ceaser_73
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 172
view profile
History
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:21:28 PM
op
I would say that any person that ask's themsevles that question would be open to say that they have taken a little damage from each realtionship they have been in the past and taken some of it to the next one, and relates to ones thinking process of the relationship that they are in and know the defects that that suffer from and or cannot change of how that they feel when involved with someone verses when they are not. It all comes down to a comfort level that someone can be happy with or without someone.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 178
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:06:27 AM
My answer to your question is NO!
I think that people were put on this earth to be together.
I realize life is tough but it is about the sweet moments and memories in the end.
For whatever reason you are having a hard time with the everyday stuff, maybe you are sabataging your relationships because you like to be alone alot. What I would suggest is trying to pick someone who will be your buddy for life rather than your night in shinning armour.
I once heard someone say once that there are 2 reasons why people do things:
#1 is out of LOVE
#2 is out of FEAR
CONQUER YOUR FEARS
 ernstt
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 179
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:39:07 AM
depends what a relationship is, i know for a fact that i am no good at the situation that most people around me are talking about when they say relationship

i like relating, i like connecting, i want closeness as much as anybody, that does not mean i want to live my life according to some fairy tale based reality that does not work for everyone
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 185
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 1/17/2009 1:59:08 PM
^^Good post, Sepia! Agree 100%.
 renovationist
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 187
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 5/27/2009 10:03:05 PM
Even the Bible refers to 'single' people so I'm sure there are those in life who are not meant to be 'coupled'. Don't make the mistake of letting discouragement convince you you aren't meant to have a partner, though. If it's to be, Love will find thee :) Until then, live a happy fulfilled single life, full of everything you want it to be :)
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 190
view profile
History
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 5/28/2009 6:31:39 PM
My mom lived six blocks from where Robert Service wrote a bunch of junk about relationships and "The cremation of Sam McGee". Its a desolate land of dunes, hot springs, glaciers and voles. Someone did a study and found that there some vole groups formed relationships and others were otherwise.
Those of us in group A are hard on the B voles, but I wonder how much of our civilization is composed of the B's, and whether we could survive as a race without folk that aren't particularly inclined towards long term pair bonding.
Of course that has nothing to do a hypothetical group C. Nearby the vole campground are a few survey camps. Zero females have difficulty finding great relationships there.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 192
view profile
History
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 6/11/2010 8:38:18 PM
I do feel this way about myself. I think I am just one of those people who is meant to be alone. I'm currently "dating" someone, but he happens to be legally married and lives in Iraq and I live here in the US, so what does that say about my ability to connect with a man? Everytime I go out, i see couples interacting together and I wonder what their secret is. How do they make it work? I have tried in the past, but no matter how much compromising or give and take I do, I end up alone.
I've decided that these are just the cards I've been dealt...i'm destined to be a loner, but that doesn't mean I can't have a happy life. I don't have to be a dried up old spinster. I take care of myself and keep my appearance up. I go out, hold my head up high and have fun. Yes, occasionally I get the blues, but I figure that a lot of married people get the blues too and many wish they were single.
I don't fight the singleness or aloneness anymore. I just let it be and try to have a happy life.
 monocryl
Joined: 3/4/2013
Msg: 194
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/30/2013 2:15:30 PM
I think we're conditioned to believe that a relationship is a good thing so we assume it means the same thing to everyone. But people have different degrees of self-sufficiency. Someone can be a very loving and understanding person but simply unable to live with someone else day-in-day-out for years. Our North American society is not so flexible about acknowledging relationships that deviate from the standard norm, and a bit too obsessed with labels (especially the good old FWB :-) ). But what is so wrong with "friends with mutually exclusive benefits" for two people who know themselves and know what they want?
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 195
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/30/2013 3:25:27 PM
Well, after a couple of breakups from various short term relationships about two years ago, I made the decision to not even consider trying to date. (A) If I was the one being broken up with. .well, the common denominator was me. True, the men definitely weren't without faults, but I believe I had the faulty "picker", and I know I needed to work on myself. (B) I was burned out on dating, it just wasn't fun anymore.

It's been almost a year after I consciously made the decision to not date, and dating still isn't appealing. I think I might just be one of those people not meant to be in a relationship. I have friends, and family, and I'm thankful, but I don't believe I'm meant to find someone. I'm not sad about it, anymore, so I guess you could say I've accepted it.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 197
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/30/2013 6:07:48 PM
I absolutely believe there are people who are not meant to be in a relationship. They lack the skills necessary to compromise, nurture, sacrifice and receive love from someone else. I have met some of these people. Some cannot be faithful, some are narcissists, sociopaths, etc. That doesn't mean that people who are narcissists, for example, CAN'T ever be in a relationship, but it's not going to be a very balanced and healthy one.

I know people who cruise thru life alone, maybe dating here and there but want the space. We all need SOME form of human contact, some get it thru their friends, or hook ups, etc.

But a full blown give and take relationship..no. Not everyone is cut out for it.

There's also the situation where someone CAN be in a relationship but has not found anyone who wants to date them (me!). So after a while, as people stated above, dating just is not fun anymore. It's just one "job interview" after the next, with everyone telling you they feel no spark but would love to be friends. Rejection is tiresome, so you just end up removing yourself from the dating pool.

 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 198
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/30/2013 8:25:28 PM
I think as of lately, I have been thinking that!

I mean I don't know what to think exactly but considering the track of record of men that I have dated in the past, I can't seem to find a good guy. Even last year, when I thought I found a good guy, things didn't work out. And now that I'm interested in someone and want to date him, it's taking forever and at times I feel like it's not gonna work out.

I don't know, I think i want to throw in the towel and be done with it. I'm so sick of dating and meeting guys and getting my heart broken.

I don't know, i think i should throw in the towel now! It's not going anywhere with this guy I'm interested in.
 Patrick45015
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 199
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History
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/30/2013 8:36:50 PM
I do wonder about myself. Not because of problems I've had growing up but im 42 and I've only been invoked for about 42 years of my adult life. I just wonder if im so used to being alone that im screwed. Plus im living my dream but that don't mean my dream fits with anyone else lol. I have no self pithy just wondering where I would fit and a girl would fit. Oh well I am very happy so that's what matters

Its hard to type from my phone and impossible. To correct
 Adamup83
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 201
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/30/2013 9:12:38 PM
There is NO way of finding that out! Sometimes we gotta stop looking so hard for what all of us want, an thats love. I guess let Gods will and way decide. im not religious, but if you believe in something it comes true. " seeing is believing" an a quote i like " you will never loose women chasing money, but you'll always lose money chasing women"
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 203
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History
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:42:44 PM
I don't need to be in a relationship, and I don't think I am meant to be either, as I am closing on 50, and have never had a relationship yet in my life. Having been on here since October, and having messaged hundreds of ladies, and gotten only two replies, both of which ghosted me after less than two days of messaging, I'm quite certain, I will be spending the rest of my life alone. Of course, since I've been alone all my life, I probably wouldn't even know HOW to BE in a relationship anyway.
 starthrower1968
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 204
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:57:10 PM
If I had a dime for every time I have thought that.
 academicgal
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 205
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:00:16 PM
seriously, I think you are right. Except no person is an island. We all are healthier when we learn to lean on others in a healthy way.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 206
view profile
History
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:25:56 PM
^^^^^^ WHAT???????? You mean to live in synergy with each other?????????? I mean co-dependent??????? :-O
 ArtDeVivre777
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 207
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/31/2013 8:56:51 PM
Well, to be honest, there are very few happy relationships which are based on love,respect,friendship,shared interests. It is very hard to find. It's almost like winning a lottery from what I see around.

I want to to be in a relationship again,but it's very tough to find the ONE for me :( I've been dating for a while now and I met many great guys ,but somehow I just couldn't really commit to anyone,as I didn't feel that I met someone who is my soulmate :(

I like dating and getting to know each other thing, but the more I know someone,the more I realize we are not a great match etc. I managed to be in a relationship for more thna 8 years, it was great at the beginning,but had lots of negative things later on and I guess it influenced me so much...I am not looking for prince charming but I want to get this feeling that he is the ONE for me and I am for him, and it just doens't happen. I hope it will happen, but if it won't, I think I d better stay single then, than being in a not so good relationship . My life as a single lady who dates or tries to date, is much better,than was my LTR relationship. Or sometimes I think, maybe I am not meant to be in a relatiosnhip at all .
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