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 Just_2_b_me
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 99
Why are people scared of mental illness?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Mental illness is like a Box of Chocolates, you never know what you'll get, but the odds are it'll be NUTS.

 nocalsingledad
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 101
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 7:54:35 AM
To some extent. We all have varying degrees of traits that make up our personality but when it comes to things such as psychosis, we are talking about something completely different. One who can not tell the difference between what is happening and what they are thinking can be a real danger to themselves and to others. A person in San Francisco who has long been diagnosed with an illness regularly goes off his meds. Last month he tried to burn down Grace Cathedral. Your average person doesn't do things like this.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 103
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 8:16:13 AM
Ohhh Dear Irish, remember the LUCKY ONE IS YOU... I have been in a couple relationships of mental illness roller coaster...One where the person was a narcissist, and abusive. The other, he was being treated for depression, but found out after 5 months he couldn't keep his pecker in his pants his entire marriage... He was good with me in the fact that any time he thought something more tasty was coming along to dump me. Then if it didn't happen, he would be knocking on my door again.

He finally paired up with a bar fly... However he still likes to call me, and if she is out of town will even venture in a text message to think he has a chance for a booty call... NOT EVER EVEN...

He has his good qualities, therefore I stay friends with him... HOWEVER I HAVE to be the one that keeps a distance, and remind myself what a lucky girl I am that it didn't last, and he's someone elses jewel OF A PROBLEM...

Sure he paints a beautiful picture, because he knows it gets to you. HOWEVER you know the real story, and even though it hurts the ego that you spent so much time loving him... REMEMBER YOU ARE THE LUCKY ONE, you are free to find someone that isn't into so much dramatics...

This is a good time to heal yourself, and know there is a very good chance if things don't work out with ms wonderful, he will be knocking on your door once again, begging for forgiveness...

Good luck Doll, you will find someone deserving of you, and who will be there when you need him too...
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 105
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:08:58 AM

If you have never been exposed to mental illness the behavior can be quite frightening. Some mentally ill people are unpredictable.
People say the same thing about Epileptics. If you've never seen an Epileptic have a fit before, it can be quite frightenting too, and can scare away many people. I was frightened the first time I saw one. But if you've been taught about Epileptics, and what to do when they've had a fit, it's pretty straightforward. I knew about them, and the basics, so I just put a pillow under his head, made sure he wasn't choking on his own tongue, and sat and watched him. After a few minutes, he fell asleep, and he woke up 20 minutes later. But he was dismissed from the college we were both in, because the other students were frightened, and the staff decided that was easier than giving a 20 minute talk to all the students.

If you are not prepared to take on the extra responsibility of dealing with a persons handicap what ever that may be then I think that is up to you. Dealing with someone with a mental illness obviously presents risks. With the amount of risks involved in meeting people today it is normal for people to want to minimize them.
True. But there are just as many risks dating a player, and even more risks when you realise that there are far more undiagnosed mentally ill people than diagnosed ones. All people are doing by excluding mentally ill people from dating, are avoiding the few who know they are, know how you should handle them, and are willing to tell then about it, instead of learning about it. Instead they are just taking even more risks and getting hurt far, far more.
 bikerguy45
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 109
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:54:18 PM
Hi: My malpractice insurer wouldn't be happy with me joining in this discussion..I am NOT a shrink. I am an RN who has worked inpatient mental health for about 30 years. I am very careful NOT to paint people & diagnosis' with a broad brush..No doubt a mental illness can be a family illness..Whatever ones issues r they can effect & impact upon others in the relationship..I am very cautious about throwing the baby out with the bathwater !!!!..I have seen people not respond to certain meds. However, i have seen others do wonderful on the same medication. i would suggest people taking a psycho active medicine to keep their perscriber closely appraised of what is going on.. If u r a close friend or significant other of an individual pay close attention & learn as much as u can...Help & support cannot be minimized..The more the better... Have a Merry Christmas..
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 113
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 8:01:33 PM

Scorpionmover you do realize that you can't choke on your own tongue and that you should never put something in someones mouth who is having a seizure right? Your tongue is attached to your mouth therefore you can't swallow it and choke on it.
Should have been more clear:
An unconscious person can choke on his own tongue or dentures.
http://www.healthtouch.com/bin/EContent_HT/cnoteShowLfts.asp?fname=02513&title=PERFORMING+THE+HEIMLICH+MANEUVER+&cid=HTHLTH
While you cannot swallow your tongue during seizures, you can choke on food, vomit, or an object in your mouth.
http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/brain-nerves/epilepsy/treatment?id=hw108148§ion=section_04

I believe that you CAN choke during a seizure or afterwards, 'cause the epileptic I met told me that he falls asleep after his fits, and he was the one who told me to make sure he doesn't choke. I doubt he would have told me that if it wasn't necessary, 'cause he was already embarrassed enough about it.

But I might have got it wrong about the tongue. I don't remember everything. Just that he wanted me to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't choke.
 Verzen
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 116
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:24:52 PM
I have Aspurgers. Few people know what this is and if I tell them up front, they either wont believe that I have it and think im a liar or they will stay away from me. But its kind of like a gift and a curse.
People with Aspurgers are very intelligent people. Unlike other forms of Autism, they function extremely well in society. But the downside is that its considered a social deficiency. I suffer from anxiety if im nervous and I stray away from people I dont know, aspecially females... more so then normal. Im a shy person and its hard for me to say whats on my mind if it might hurt someone else. I also think differently then most people. I think illogically to others, while it seems logical to myself. I think outside the box all the time. Not all mental illnesses are bad. Im not violent and I would never hurt another human unless that person is threatening me or my friends/family (Or even a person who I feel cant defend themselves) But, when you first see me.. I seem like anybody else, except there is something about me that you can't grasp... if that makes sense.
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 120
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:20:51 PM
I think it's relative; the emotional illness, and all. You can't help who you fall in love with; just give it your all and try to help them help themselves. I personally find The States oppressive to everyone...I may be wrong, but to thine own soul be true... Love, Titus
 garden_girl
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 125
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 4:09:37 PM

You can't help who you fall in love with; just give it your all and try to help them help themselves.


This is a dangerous line of thought. And one I indulged in 5 years ago. I thought that if I loved and supported him, he would work through it and things would get better. I know better now.

It's true in every relationship- if the person you love cannot be whole on their own, you will not be able to help them. Like me, you may even find yourself down the rabbit hole with them.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 128
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:22:22 PM

Scorpionmover i said nothing about denture , spit or food . That is a whole other issue .Of course you can choke on those things because they are not attached to your mouth obviously.
I think we're on the same page, raychass. I just said "tongue" unnecessarily and misled you. Sorry. Hope I've cleared it up.
Just don't ever stick your finger in someones mouth . Serious damage can be done to your finger.
Never intended to. But thanks for the pointer.

Mr_Bean is on the money. :applause:
 Anokagrassland
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 129
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:30:15 PM
They can also fool social workers and judges!
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 130
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:31:40 PM
I have enough problems of my own.

Did I actually say that out loud?
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 132
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:45:34 PM
Sorry Lela, but I would think long and hard before I were to enter into another relationship with someone with a mental illness.

I have been with four different women with various mental illness(es) - only one sought to do something about it. All the others thought it was 'okay' to be the way they were - basically 'unstable' - meaning what they feel, think and say one minute - could change the next.

So - when it comes to putting your heart on the line - I am sorry - it is too great a stake to take that risk. I put it out there four times - got it stepped on four times.

Read another post here that sounded familiar. They said '... these people make their problems your fault...' I would be hesitant to generalize like that, however it certainly was true so very often.

Any way. Just my experiences and feelings on the subject.

However, given my past history - if she flashes a pretty smile at me and the conversation flowed easily.... I would probably make myself a liar and jump into it yet again.
 clay_1963
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 137
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:49:20 PM
Well it is one of the first questions I ask, have you been treated for mental illness/nervous breakdown, etc along with do you currently take mood altering drugs to keep u functional.....then I ask if they had ever been convicted of a felony or served time in prison.....be surprised how many say yes...leason learned the hard way...
 clay_1963
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 139
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:18:39 PM
Well I don't just blurt it right out but guide the conversations into those areas in question and just listen, be surprised what u will learn....
 urmmme
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 142
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:58:28 AM
why uncalled for and what made you think i was referring to any one personally ,as to uniformed arnt we all to diffrent degrees .
me my self and i have lived with someone with mental disorders ,and have personally experienced diffrent forms of mental illnesses for the most of my life and yes have found that a lot of people do have closed minds no matter there roles in society.
my point i soppose is that people should not be afraid of what they dont know or understand ,this has nothing to do with personal preferences or taste ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
im not personally afraid of a snake because it bites and is poisonous ,i try to show an understand respect properly and with an open mind ,,,,,,,,,,,but im only human and my words and actions are some times misconstrued .
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 145
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/16/2007 11:17:41 AM

Does this mean there afraid to get close to someone with it?

How about, if you lived life with someone whose mental health deterioted to the point that you wondered if you lived with an alien or not?
From what I've experienced with my - ex & his mental state was sheer & utterly beyond human comprehension. I did learn a lesson for life - you cannot reason, justify or even offer a help as you became an enemy no 1.
Once your health starts going down the pan ... you know the answer => it's time to go separate ways.
 Azure Sky 07
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 147
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/16/2007 1:31:48 PM
I lived with two people who had suffered with a mental illness. These were my parents. I was living in a household where i was 13 years of age, my sister being 14. My father was a survivor from the battle of Monte Cassino in Italy. After joining up in ww 11 he left his family, a wife & child. He survived in battles all over North Africa this was for 4 years of terror & destruction. Whilst he was serving in Italy it was decided to take out Anzio by American forces, the british would take out Monte Cassino. There was more bombing & shelling here than at El Alamain. A shell landed near to my father, the flash blinded him, killing the man next to him. He was then taken as a prisoner of the german government.


After Stalingrad, Kursk..... Cassino ranks as a disgrace to humanity. after four assaults, America , Britain, Canadian combat soldiers failing with whole units wiped out, it was the Poles who finally took the Monastery. D-day was less than three months away so this terrible nightmare was hushed up by the military.
The English comic / comedian Spike Milligan fought at Monte Cassino, was evacuated as both wounded & psychiatrically disturbed..Medical reports now clearly show that almost all frontline soldiers showed signs of shaking, 3,000 American soldiers from a Texas division died there in three hours.... a thousand horrific deaths per hour, the carnage only ending when all were killed

My father returned to England after the war with his sight regained, his wife was gone, his child evacuated away from London.
All of his furniture was gone everything.

Whilst in a hospital my father met my mother. She came from Portugal & came from a poor family. Her father left for Brasil to look for work when she was a child & her mother was almost starving. So, my mother came to England as a fruit picker ( cheap foreign labour ) on a big farm in Berkshire. She studied, later on qualified as a nurse... she was the very person looking after my father.
They married, my sister & i came a few years later.

My father lived through a terrible nightmare which the mind can not adhere to. War is not a game, killing is not natural to a human being.My mother could not speak too much English & had two young children to care for. She became ill & my sister & i were placed in a children's home. My mother lost her mind with my father & i never saw them until i was thirteen years old.

Nobody had ever told me that my mother was Portuguese, that my father was a prisoner, how he suffered, this event in his life made him mentally unbalanced.

We never had a telephone in our house & we existed on just enough to live day by day. I left school at fourteen to find work to pay for my clothes & food. One day when my father collapsed i ran next door to use next doors telephone... our neighbour did not like me using their phone to ring for an ambulance. I was a child when this happened. I do recall by the demeanour, the eye contact.... you are not welcome... i saw that i was not welcome in that house.
I do recall walking down the road with my mother & people used to cross the road to avoid her. As she was Portuguese she had a different accent, unusual features, other than an Englishwoman, no one helped her.She worked at the World's leading hospital for tuberculosis & as a foreigner, an immigrant she worked nightwork...
People who have a mental illness are not criminals, they just do not have control over their mind. This inbalance can cause great strains on those who care for them. I suffered.... and became a stronger person for it..... however.... in between this time,
I lost.... my life, my education, a relationship, i lost my natural sense of well being, in that i lost a stone in weight, a tip top job, my confidence evaporated to zero.

If you see someone in a wheelchair or with a visible illness then you can relate to feeling a sincere outlook of their misfortune.
With a mental illness, the average person through lack of understanding, they are not aware that the mind can be unbalanced through shock, something tragic in childhood,almost anything, an injury to the head...... my father was nearly killed by a mortar..... these propellants are designed to thus explode on impact, the mixture of cordite displacing the immediate air with such force that a human being's body will be sent in all directions... those that survive, witness such horrific scenes before them, they can never really recover, their natural well being is never the same.

I study mental illness, medicine, & i have a reality, an overview of those people around the world, including the 60 or so wars that ensue. Tomorrow war is a daily dose even for children. poverty, attrocities, these can send the able minded by what they endure.... mentally disfunctional.

Recently in Romania, children were seen stripping the bark from trees, they were collecting firewood to keep warm.Romania is in the EEC yet the average English person has no intrest in the protocol of compassion, or much intrest.Will these children behave with a loving personality in adulthood ?

If everyone had enough food, warmth, shelter, a healthy metabolism, then cases of mental illness would be lower.
People with a mental condition are not idiots, neither are they insane, it's a lack of understanding of the person who are not in Bedlam, for they wish not to be there themselves yet will mock those who are suffering in their mind.

John.
 johnemanuel
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 148
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/20/2007 7:57:50 AM
I wanted to clarify my position on this question just so if anyone were to read inthe future ( which i doubt, but just in case), I thought we were talking about dating someone with a mental illness, which from the perspective of seeking a vibrant and happy relationship, the road one travels with a mentally ill person is rocky and full of dee and dark pitfalls, as was my experience and so it is something I do not wish to repeat. But many of the responses began to allude to treating any mentally ill person with suspicion and disregard and on this point I am unequivocably opposed and can think of nothing as low and evil. I work with people with grave mental and emotional issues as part of a recovery program and I have the greatest heart for them There are many very attractive and sexy women in this group who in times past I would be blind to their emotional disorders and simply jump in, following the call of romantic lust. Did this once, and it burned my ass beyond belief and still chafes after quite sometime as there are children from this relationship. Nothing I have found is more frustrating than when a crazy person thinks you are the crazy one- a bit of a haha there- but anyhow, that's all I have to say about that. I personally don't let my relationship with these women go farther than friends because it would not be prudent to do so.
 bk1
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 150
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/20/2007 8:10:36 AM
Why are people scared of mental illness...I'll tell you why...My son just got divorced from a young lady who was bi-polar...Together, they had two lovely children. During the whole time of their relationship, she may or may not take her meds. She would often talk about her mood swings (that we often witnessed) and how they affected her. She would talk about having thoughts of dropping the kids off the bridge upon the hiway. She refused to take her meds on a regular basis because it made her fat. Now, they are divorced...We do our best to make sure that her visitations with the kids are always supervised. Plus, she admitts that she cant handle the stress of having the kids around her. These are good kids.. My degree is in Psych. I worked for a few years in the field. No way or no how would I ever recommend for someone to be involved with someone with mental issues. These issues dont go away. Theyre not always under control with meds, and mental illness is inherited. Did I fail to mention that this girls father was a mental patient in a state mental ward? Who wants to live with this probability? I would want a healthy wife, children and healthy home. Any questions?
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 152
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/21/2007 3:38:00 PM
How did this thread last so long?
To the OP,
People are not "afraid" of all mental illness. People are only leery of psychotics (i.e. schizophrenics, bipolar types in the grips of mania, and people with various other forms of dementia.) It makes sense, doesn't it? A psychotic person has his/her own frame of reference which is completely out of sync with the real world. Therefore, when that kind of person acts, it can seem random and nonsensical to those of us who aren't sharing their frame of reference. That's obviously dangerous if the psychotic person feels cornered or threatened for any reason. In addition to that, many psychotics, because their frame of reference is removed from reality, are downright nasty. Their hygiene is inadequate, and some have disgusting personal habits: scratching, skin-picking, self-mutilation, etc. Those behaviors tend to scare people who aren't sharing the psychotic's world view.

People who are merely depressed, or have addictions or paraphilias, are rarely "scary" to others. Certainly, no one with a serious mental issue is fun to be around, but most people aren't actively uncomfortable with anyone other than psychotics (and perhaps sociopaths, who can also have psychotic delusions.)

You sound like you're whining, OP. I didn't read the entire thread to see if you modified your original statements; but people SHOULD be "scared" (concerned, cautious, vigilant) around psychotics. In addition to that: many of us should be more proactive in getting help for profoundly disturbed people.

By the way, meds ARE the best answer for treating schizophrenics. Therapy and diet alone don't help with that. Psychosis is largely due to a neurochemical imbalance, and medicine corrects it. The meds, from what I've heard, can be unpleasant; but it would be a lot more unpleasant to kill yourself or someone else during a bout of psychosis. The meds, for a psychotic, are the best answer. As far as depressives or personality disordered people, if they want to try to struggle through without meds, then that's their choice. Suicide ideation can be powerful for a depressive, so there's a risk; but that's up to the person.

 SparkintheDark
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 154
Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/22/2007 1:17:18 PM
I don't want anymore trouble in my life... so, I do stay away from men who are on medication for all kinds of mental health issues. I'm not talking depression, I'm talking PROBLEMS. I admit it right up front that I can't handle it... it doesn't mean I'm ignorant, it means I've been down that road with men before, and I learned my lesson the hard way.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 155
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/22/2007 1:34:43 PM

Maybe you should read the thread instead of tearing me apart


Lela, you did come up with an interesting topic. I think that the answer to your original question is obvious, though. Lela, believe me: I'm not tearing you apart. I did manage to read your post right above my original post, and it seems that you're still questioning why people are "scared" of mental ilness.

Again, people are not scared of depressives, addicts, or people who merely have personality quirks. Are people generally wary of psychotics, bipolar people, Alzheimer's patients, etc.? Absolutely. And that's the right approach to have. It doesn't mean that you can't have some sympathy for a demented person. However, it is just common sense to be cautious or wary (you can say "scared" if you want) around a person who exhibits very disordered behavior and speech patterns. Paranoid schizophrenics, in particular, are downright dangerous, both to themselves and others. Being very wary and uncomfortable around a demented person is a normal, acceptable reaction.

So stop being defensive, Lela, and address what I said in my two posts!
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 156
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 12/22/2007 2:18:10 PM
^^^Great sense of humor. It's always great to have a dose of that on a thread! It lightens things up.
But no, we're not all crazy. Many people have unusual behaviors or quirks; but that doesn't make you crazy. Some people are mentally ill, and most others are not.
 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 163
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Why are people scared of mental illness?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:13:58 AM
I think that a person who decides to get involved w/someone with mental issues has to have tremendous patience & also read up on the illness (DSM Manual - & other literature & articles). That way, each party can work harder to preserve the relationship. I am pretty open-minded & think it could work between 2 people but they have to work that much harder.

Even people with mild symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline, addictions etc. etc. can be pretty difficult for some people to handle.
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