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 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 493
Curvy Vs SlimPage 6 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
What does this thread have to do with anything?? The guys who are into you OP will be into you for the things you have to offer. Why worry about what other women get from men and why. Just enjoy what you have and enjoy your life.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 494
view profile
History
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:56:03 PM
It's just a discusion on preferences. I think to really enjoy your life you need to be healthy and a lot of "curvy" (fat) women are under the false impression that they are healthy.
 Fluff_wi
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 495
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:37:38 PM
Fred darlin - I just read your profile. You are 49 and state that you carry a 'few extra pounds'. Are YOU 'curvy'? Or just FAT - as you so LOVE to state?
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 497
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:34:55 PM
Always seems to be acceptable for a man to carry weight and not a woman. When its a female's design to carry more weight for child baring. Fred, I prefer sane and intelligent men. Height or weight have no bearing on that. But stupid, that I just have to say "NO" to.

Oh, and by the way... I was anorexic, sex hurt!!! I was so unhealthy when I finally did start to eat I gained 80 lbs the first year. Guess what, I am happy. No diets for me, no running around getting surgery, and no wasted emotion or time on the likes of Fred.

Thank goodness not all men think like you. Though I know plenty of men who prefer athletic women. The difference between them and you is that they don't hate a woman for not being their ideal. Friends don't need to be certain size. Unless you would like to start the discussion on "male part" size.
 Fluff_wi
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 498
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:21:14 AM


Rock On Blonde Charm!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 501
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:02:57 AM

Always seems to be acceptable for a man to carry weight and not a woman.

Times are a-changin'. Women are starting to want what they offer...men might want to get on that too if they want a decent shot at dating in the next 10 years...

Therefore if a man likes a woman who stays thin, in shape, healthy - he ain't getting her attention until he's doing the same. Why should he? Difference is in a lot of cases, women will stay single as an alternative - from what I've seen, women are better at holding out for what they want.

It'll be interesting to watch all this unfold as time progresses...

Bottom line is this - as long as each person is happy with whatever weight they're at, regardless of dating opportunities (or even caring that much about dating in the first place), that's what matters. Yes, we all choose where we want to be, and it is our individual choice (complete with realistic consequences). Others don't have any right to project what they think we should be doing onto us.
 hootinholler
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 503
view profile
History
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:26:51 PM

Always seems to be acceptable for a man to carry weight and not a woman. When its a female's design to carry more weight for child baring. Fred, I prefer sane and intelligent men. Height or weight have no bearing on that. But stupid, that I just have to say "NO" to.


Given my experiences I'll disagree on the acceptability of overweight men in the view of others. I will agree that it's all in personality, and I love curvy women.

Ignorance is correctable, stoopud is for life. ;)
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 505
view profile
History
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:55:12 PM
I just made a simple statement of fact and nothing was personalized except me stating a personal preference. Then a slew of personal attacks ensued against me. I learned not to take comments from the bitter POF forum posters personally but allow me to address the less then friendly comments.

Fred darlin - I just read your profile.
I find people like to do that to get background and/or ammo for an attack, wait for it.

Didn't have to wait long, here it is.
You are 49 and state that you carry a 'few extra pounds'.
What does age have to do with anything other than it's more than likely to have a few extra pounds at 49 as opposed to 19. When my kids were younger they saw me in a pic without a shirt with my wife and they freaked out and said “Dad you almost had a six pack", I had a few extra pounds back then too but they couldn't imagine the fat guy they knew as their father once didn't have a big ole' gut on him.

Are YOU 'curvy'? Or just FAT - as you so LOVE to state?
Men don't use "curvy", we hide behind heavy set and stocky or muscular. I have used all of those descriptions but yes I am fat and although I do carry my weight well, as said many times by many others, I have broad shoulders, some muscles and a big frame with no man boobs. I have a big belly that I told myself was okay but recently new studies suggest even with just a big waist the incidence of high bp, diabetes and cancer go up significantly. Fat is fat and it is not healthy. I see women take it personally when I say that. Why get mad at me? Get mad at Hagen Das or the AMA for determining that your lifespan will be cut short. FAT IS NOT HEALTHY, don't think you're okay because you're comfortable with yourself and live in a state of denial. Lose the F@%#$#* weight as I know I should and would like to do.


I am ashamed that Fred is a man
I am glad that the person that said this is not a man

Always seems to be acceptable for a man to carry weight and not a woman.
That may be true and I count on the fact that many women are not as shallow or superficial as men. So “stocky” guys like me have half a chance.

Guess what, I am happy
Good for you but since we are personalizing go see your doctor and ask him if you are at increased risk for health problems and see if he makes you happier.

Oh, and by the way... I was anorexic,
So you have or had deep seated issues but swinging way over to the other side doesn't make you healthy.

No diets for me, no running around getting surgery,
How about cutting out the fatty snacks and exercising. I like my junk food but trying to eat less while trying to eat more rabbit food and try to get out and do more physical activity.

and no wasted emotion or time on the likes of Fred.
Looks like you exerted quite a bit to express yourself with your misplaced hostility.

The difference between them and you is that they don't hate a woman for not being their ideal
Read every single word of every post I have ever made. HATE???? I simply said it wasn't healthy and I was speaking in general terms it wasn't specifically aimed at anyone. If you want the definition of hater resad what you wrote then look in the mirror, don’t be hatin'

So little Fredie wants sweet and petite ... HAHAHAHA

He is still living the *dream* .... there will be one big splatttt when he hits the earth !!
My last girlfriend within the last year was a petite gal, she was 39 and looking for a younger guy so I was defiantly not what she was looking for, she was looking for a younger stud muffin but we got together and were quite friendly for a while. We got real friendly and she wanted multiple friendliness on the same day and she scared me as an older guy who’s parts all work but not as good as they used to. She put on a see through nighty once and looked very HOT and asked me to spend the night after a bout of friendliness and I mumbled some excuses’ and ran out of there. So I’m not sure if I was living a dream or a nightmare. wild heart made a post on another thread that reminded me of her and she even looks similar to her. Her age range is even the same. Women like that intimidate me in my old age.

So comment on what was said and stick to the facts. Don’t take it out on me go for a walk and eat a salad.
 phoenixdreamangel
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 510
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:22:01 PM
SSBBW? (whatever you said)
 phoenixdreamangel
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 511
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:30:56 PM
Lindsay Lohan, Mary Kate (or was it Ashley), and 1,000's no MILLIONS of othe rwomen can't do it! Not even the two you mentioned!

Kiera could stand to gain a couple pounds she's not the worst it's Angelina Jolie that gets me! I mean come on? Have you looked at her lately? Skelitan!

And I know that many people can pull off curvy, not fat, curvy. I am curvy and I really don't think what you said makes any sense. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but at this current time I know someone who is unhealthfully skinny and it burns me that you would say she'd look great even if you could see her veins and such. But she wont' listen to anyone! Nuf said on that subject!

I think it's not cool to expect anyone to be in a 'category'. I'm curvy and doing just fine, I look great and I may be a little over weight (I am ammending this issue right now) but I am not EVER going to want to be a size 4......hell 6 sounds nasty to me! O_O I'll take a size 10 any day!

Michelle
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 516
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:08:16 PM
Zeppo.... I have to say that I totally agree with as much of the prejudice against thin women from fat women and vice versa. Being anorexic, I was UNhappy, UNhealthy and definately nothing for any woman to look to as the ideal. And, lets face it, nor I am the ideal now lol. But after consideration of my doctor, family and friends ... the end result is NO dieting, just living actively and making sure that I don't fall back into the not eating. Losing 20 lbs and getting ill, gaining 30 lbs back... or (shudder), losing so much that I become anorexic again is just not worth the risk. Now, many people will say that its easy to eat healthy... perhaps but when you start losing weight some of us obsess about the numbers to then put ourselves at risk.

I have had friends who could not gain weight, friends my own size, some bigger. I say that people are just simply judgemental. Its a shame, but as individuals we have to be strong enough to enjoy ourselves and not worry too much about other opinions.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 521
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:14:07 AM
Some guys are saying they want someone who is curvy, yet they define curvy as what most women agree would be called slim (even I made that mistake earlier, so I'm not an angel here).


In fairness, some women will call themselves curvy when they are actually obese.


There are many fit people out there with high cholestoral, high blood pressure, ect.....


I don't think a large percentage of fit people have health problems. People who are fit usually have good diets and get plenty of exercise. I'm not saying not all or most overweight people have health problems, have poor diets, or don't exercise. But a person who is extremely overweight or obese is more likely to have health problems than a fit person is.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 523
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:24:10 PM
More than weight or fitness, are genetic predispositions affect us when it comes to those factors.


Genetics can be a factor, but I don't think it is a bigger factor than weight and fitness. I also don't think that many people will have health problems ONLY because of genetics. Genetics can be just one of several reasons why a person has health problems. Obesity is a leading factor for many health problems and diseases including the following.

Hypertension (high blood pressure)
Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
Type 2 diabetes
Coronary heart disease
Stroke
Gallbladder disease
Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
Some cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 524
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:26:52 PM
Ohhh my jf....

You must come from "thin to average" stock then. Or perhaps you haven't had a child. Or perhaps that glass house is tinted to match the great outdoors so the other people throwing stones can't see you.

I am big... no question.

From being anorexic I generated the following:
Hair loss
Bone density loss
Diminished Immune System (which nearly killed me with a post operative C Section)
Thyroid Disease (an auto immune disease)
Insomnia
Depression

So far since gaining weight:
Blood pressure is actually slightly low
Cholesterol is normal
No diabetes
No stroke
No sleep apena - tho still suffer sometimes from insomnia

... and the only person I ever met with endometriosis was 30 lbs UNDER weight.

I don't think there is a person on here who has more than 10 extra pounds that is clueless to the health issues attributed to OBESITY. But thank you. For reminding us, AGAIN.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 525
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:34:00 PM
Ohhh my jf....

You must come from "thin to average" stock then. Or perhaps you haven't had a child. Or perhaps that glass house is tinted to match the great outdoors so the other people throwing stones can't see you.


I was having a civil discussion. Another poster stated that genetics is a bigger factor than obesity for having various health problems. I disagreed and mentioned why. It has nothing to do with thinking that I'm perfect.

I know many women that had kids. Some of them did gain some weight due to having kids. Bot none of them gained a lot of weight ONLY because they have kids. I also never stated or implied that being extremely thin or aneroxic is healthly either.

Anytime there is a discussion about weight and health, some fat women always have to overreact to something that was mentioned and get offended. Calm down and relax. Geesh.



 SUN E LUV
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 528
view profile
History
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:00:29 PM
CURVY IS GREAT
BUT MOST IMPORTANT?
IS THE LOVE
SUN E LUV


 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 529
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:20:04 PM
jf, are you still willing to maintain that a man or woman who isn't interested in someone overweight does so because of health concerns? I doubt it. If so, they would ask medical histories of the individual and the family.


I agree that the primary reason why many people wouldn't date an obese person is lack of physical attraction. However some people might not date an obese person due to health reasons. There are plenty of people who don't date smokers due to health reasons. I don't think that you can assume that health is never a reason why a person rejects another person.


Why do you think every new doctor makes you fill out your families medical history before they see you? Because genetics plays a huge part in these things.


Genetics can be a factor for some people, but I think a small percentage of people are obese or have health problems ONLY because of genetics. It can be a combination of genetics and other factors that causes health problems and obesity.
 coffeelover
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 534
view profile
History
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:04:33 AM
I agree with you Anna,

There are all types of people of a variety of shapes and sizes. Get to know he person before you make any judgement. They might be the hottest lover you have ever met!

 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 536
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:42:58 AM
For some specific medical conditions obesity can be a contributing factor but based on your rationale every person who is thin and has a stroke, heart attack, or high blood pressure will experience those conditions BECAUSE they are thin (an equally ludicrous assumption).


I did NOT state that obesity is the only reason why some people will have certain health problems. A person could have health problems for reasons that have nothing to do with their weight. However being extremely overweight ( or underweight for that matter ) does increase your chances of having certain health problems.


A partial listing of disorders either wholly or predominantly preordained by genetics from the National Human Genome Research Institute :


Can genetics be a reason why some people have certain health problems? Absolutely. Is genetics the primary reason why some people have certain health problems. Not necessary. There are many different medical opinions about the role of genetics. There are often many different possible reasons why people have certain health problems. For example, I know a person who has high blood pressure partly because of genetics. I know another person that has high blood pressure mostly because of smoking.


In fact obesity itself is genetically influenced.


The people that are obese ONLY because of genetics are the exceptions. As stated by another poster, the percentage of obese people is much higher today that it was 40-50 yrs. Human genetics haven't changed that much in 40-50 yrs. However lifestyle and eating habits have changed in that time period.


If you do not find individuals of a certain size attractive that is your right (whether it be because they are too thin or too large) but have the guts to accept that this is a personal preference and stop wrapping it in some "holier than thou" guise of "I'm only concerned about potentially resultant health issues".


As I stated in a previous post, the primary reason why many people wouldn't date an obese person is due to lack of physical attraction. However my main point is obesity can be just as much as a factor as genetics ( if not more ) for causing health problems.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 540
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:20:36 AM
Always seems to be acceptable for a man to carry weight and not a woman.


This is false. Women in general care about weight just as much as men do. Many women might date a chubby man, but the reverse is also true. Most women aren't attracted to obese men. Ask almost any man who was obese until he lost a lot of weight. He tell you the difference in how people treated him before and after his weight loss.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 544
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:24:06 PM
There are multitudinous medical coditions which are strictly controlled by genetics alone, In fact the resultant malady is only seen where both parents carry the recessive gene. Far more never occur without at least the presence of one recessive gene being present.


As I stated before, that is debatable. There are many different medical opinions about the exact role genetics has in causing various diseases and health problems. Also some diseases that might be caused by genetics are very rare.


Did you do a full genetic screen on the friend you assert hgas caused high blood pressure? Assumably you have a full medical profile from him prior to his starting to smoke and one from immediately thereafter to prove that it was smoking alone which was "causative" of the high blood pressure.


His doctor told him that his high blood pressure was mostly due to smoking. His family did NOT have any history of blood pressure either.


What has changed in the specified time period? Why it's the standard by which medical authorities now classify obesity.


That might be a part of the reason why there is a much higher percentage of obese people now than there was in the past, but not the entire reason. Eating habits and lifestyle changes are also major factors. BTW the 2 examples you used are exceptions. A person with a BMI over 30 is usually fat unless they are very muscular such as professional body builders or football players.


Unless all your dates have to undergo a complete physical and thorough genetic screening before you consider dating them your assertion that refusing to date anyone (large or small) due to health factors is entirely specious.


Apparently you didn't read what I said. I stated the primary reason why many people wouldn't date an obese person is lack of physical attraction, not health problems. We will have to agree to disgaree. There is no need for me to keep repeating myself.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 558
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:39:12 AM
LOL how this thread ends up being an arguement over what is considered obese or unhealthy escapes me.


Very simple. As previously mentioned by Dawn and other posters, some men will use health as a reason for not dating fat women. Because if they stated they aren't attracted to fat women, then some people will call them "shallow" for that.


However I don't think there are a large percentage of people ( especially women ) who are muscular, have low body fat, and are considered be obese by the BMI.


I agree. I might see some men who match this description at a gym. But if I'm walking down a busy street or I'm at a shopping mall, IMO most people probably wouldn't match this description.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 560
The Go-go's
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:34:30 PM
My first gf was skinny, and she poked me with her bones far more than I poked her w/ mine. So, coathangers don't get my attention, unless they have pretty faces or stellar personalities (outgoing, considerate, intelligent). Think of the lyrics to the Go-Go's song, "Throw me a curve"

Women waste far too much of their lives worrying about looks--theirs', and that of the guy with them. They'd be better off worrying less about attracting men--guys are happy if they get laid--and focus more on getting the confidence to tell a guy not interested in them, "get lost, I can do better than you."
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 579
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:29:49 AM
Sunny...

Our view of healthy is not the same. I do proudly have up BBW on my profile. I neither hide it nor go on about it. The likes of you wouldn't interest me.

Why do you ask???? The cig hanging out of your mouth. I view cigs with the same absolute distaste as you view us fat women.

And before you start... I just buried my mother after her second bout with lung cancer. Its definately not an attractive disease, makes your skin, hair and clothes smell and prematurely ages your face and mouth. That makes me superficial, so be it. But after chemo, watching her die in front of my eyes.... why would ANYONE in this day and age smoke then throw stones at some of us for eating????

Tsk Tsk
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 581
view profile
History
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:38:58 PM
I personally don't prefer gals that are too big. Saying that makes some big girls feel they need to speak out, why? MANY girls don't like what I look like do I lash out at them also and call them hater's? Some say fat isn't sexy, FALSE. To some it is just not to me or some others. I find excessive fat repulsive not a polite thing to say but civility is not always found online so I often feel free to join in.

I also said fat wasn't healthy, then people want to point out that smoking or genetices play a part in health, absolutly but does that negate the fact that fat is unhealthy? Is that how you go through life pointing out the people you think are worse off then you. Comparing yourself to the lowest common denomenator instead of striving for your own personnal best. Then others want to ask me if I'm fat in an accusational tone. I already admitted to being fat. Why try to rationalize that being fat is okay? I have and still do but the fact is it is not okay and losing the excess can be done. I currently lack the disipline and motavation it takes but at least I don't say it can't be done or that I feel good about myself. I hate when people call me fat but maybe if I get mad enough and besides beating the shlt out of them I might just get to the point where I finaly decide enough is enough I need to lose it. I joke that I am waiting for my first heart attack, assuming I make it through, to eat right and excersize because many times it takes an earth shattering event to put you in the right frame of mind and actually motivate you into action. I recently got some high bp meds and at no time was I told to lose weight. That's were we are as a society today where fat is so common place and people don't like to hear it that medical professionals don't tell you what you need to hear. Don't go along and fool yourself. Okay, Your turn fat people feel free to blast me or sit on me. Try to be gentle I bruise easily and hey, I'm one of you.
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