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 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 14
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young single moms Page 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Again, I think it's 1: suspect and 2: hilarious that so many "great guys" who are single, never married, and never had kids spend so much time stalking the *single parents* forum and essentially bashing every single parent who posts issues and problems relating to dating as a single parent. Though I do notice they spend most of their time bashing single MOTHERS.

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it probably is... so guys? You look, sound, and act like creepy, stalker trolls, hiding behind the safety of the internet and a computer screen, grinding whatever your particular anti-single-mother axe happens to be. I presume you're intelligent enough to follow the analogy. Did I leave off the part where your mother should probably stop bringing you a sandwich around lunch time? It'd probably be better for you in the long run to get up and go to the kitchen and make it yourself. Just sayin'.
 wisguyingb
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 15
young single moms
Posted: 4/15/2008 6:53:20 AM
Hmmmm??? I think the OP's question was "what are the younger (under 35 ) year old men think about young single moms?"

Well I'm under 35 and a man. Do I need permission to answer the OP? Have I bashed? I did pitch in my 2 cents just like she asked for.

Here's the cold hard truth. Do you want to know why single mothers get hit up for sex all the time? Its easy actually. Most single mom's want to find a good guy for her and her child. The bad boys know this, and they play off that emotion. They tell her things that she wants to hear. They talk about their future together with white picket fences and such. The women just eat this up, and fall for it. Next thing they know, he's sending her a text message saying it aint gonna work. After all he got what he wanted, and all she got was a bunch of empty promises and more anger toward men. But in all honesty she fell for it. If you buy ocean front propery in Iowa is that not your fault? If people would start tothink b4 they act, they could avoid a whole lot of grief in their lives.

The real question should be... Why do single mothers pursue single men without kids? You would think that they would rather pursue single fathers. Afterall they both have that in commen.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 16
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young single moms
Posted: 4/15/2008 7:11:49 AM
Another real question could be: why are you even here (in the single parents forum) in the first place? *shrug*

And seriously, you might be getting splashed with a little of the tar meant for a couple of other stalker trolls who frequent this place... but if you think the shoe fits, again, *shrug*
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 17
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young single moms
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:39:09 AM

Johne102: There are lots of single moms on this site asking why no one will date them or what men think of single mothers? Who better to answer then men right? So why ask the question if you do not want the answer.

I have had a few single mom's under the age of 25 tell me on date number one that they are tired of bad boys and now want a nice guy to settle down with and have him help her raise her family. A few brought the kids on dae#1...sorry not a good impression.


Do you just have a clipboard with a whole mess of these little quips so you can copy and paste in as required? Or has it just been SOOOO many times you've posted the exact same rants that you can't help but use the exact same wording all the time?
 TheEmeraldTeardrop
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 18
young single moms
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:22:47 AM
If there is one universal truth about dating, it's this - the more a man wants to sleep with a woman, the more he's likely to put up with to try to get sex.

Most single mothers I meet make the mistake of trying to be pickier about everything when they look for a new guy. They justify this by saying to themselves they don't want to find a man like the last one.

That's some pretty backwards logic. Yes, I think single mothers should be pickier. But about issues of what kind of job a man has to support a family ( everyone can stop pointing fingers, raising a family is expensive, who wants to date or marry a man who makes your financial situation worse?) and whether he treats you well or not.

What seems to escape most single mothers I meet is the idea that men are actually allowed to be picky too. It's a pretty dumb idea to act like you are doing a man a favor by "letting him" pay for and raise your kids with you and be second banana because, excluding widows, picked the wrong guy in the first place.

Young single mothers should be pickier about some things. A few things that fundamentally matter in keeping a relationship stable. But they are also going to have to be LESS picky about other things. He might not be as good looking as she used to get. He might not be in as good a shape as men she used to get. He might not have as good a job as men had that she used to get.

A good rule one single mother told me about was the Ten Percent Rule. She told me if a woman got asked out 100 times a year when she was childless, expect to get about 10 percent of that when she is a single mother. (10 suitors) And if a woman got asked out 10 times a year when she was childless, expect to get about 10 percent of that when she is a single mother (1 suitor) The former has some options, more limited, but some options. The latter has to be realistic and take the best of what she can get.

How much men want to date you post single motherhood is relative to how many men wanted to date you before you had the child.
 SlingDad
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 19
young single moms
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:11:05 AM
I've stayed away from this on purpose but a couple of statements from page 1 or 2 is still irking me.

It was stated that the quality of men wanting to date single mom's is low on account of the single women who don't have kids taking priority. Depending on one's station in life that may be true for those without children.

For the single parent guys here, I would resent a comment like that if I had any modicum of respect for those that posted these opinions.

One size does *not* fit all. I'm self employed and have been for over 10 years. I am a full time Dad, I take care of my children whether it's a sick child at home (yesterday) or a violin performance of another of them (yesterday evening). Single parents will find much respit with those in the same situation. Trying to cajole one who's not to be with one who is is futile.

Not all single mom's are frought with poor decision making capabilities, nor are us dad's.
 CzechChick83
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 20
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young single moms
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:03:35 PM
Well I guess this definately counts me in as a 24yro single mother,

After reading through alot of the posts I can appreciate the responses from all partys taking place in this topic. There are great mothers/fathers both single, not, young or old. Everyone is entitled to an opinion after all, being it men who choose to not date a single mother or visa versa.

For myself what annoys me personally is seeing young single (or not) mothers/fathers hanging out downtown with their young children, scantly clothed on a cold December day (Just an example). Eighteen or Thirty Eight that can make anyone stop and say "What are these people doing". I believe it is acts such as this that give young parents bad names, so to speak. I don't get offended if a man chooses to not date me due to my child status, although it horrifys me when I get the typical assumptions that due to being young I somehow am catagorized with the scenario above.

I have also had the impression from some as "Being a single mother is taboo or bad". I happen to quite like it! Although I am currently searching for a male companion, I do not need one for neither myself nor my child. Being a single mother does not make me incapable or poor at the job. I know plenty of non-single, middle age woman who can't hold a candle to alot of younger parents I know.

I think in the end the result is as many have said. Its all in the mother. If you meet a horrible young/single mother well that person doesn't deserve the joy of a child. Where there may be another very responsible very educated young/single mother who is doing a fantastic job!

As for the comments of dealing with the issues of being with a single mother, in regards to "will the kids like me?", "is the ex a nutjob?" etc etc. I don't blame anyone for that either, those are very real issues that a male figure comming into a relationship has to think about. I personally don't involve my child into any of my relationships whatsoever unless I feel it is serious. Some men find love and are willing to take on those challanges and some men arn't and thats ok too! We all have the right to choose. Besides I am sure a majority of woman wished they didn't have to deal with their ex's either! lol

Sorry if this was long, was my first forum post here >.<

~Q
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 21
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young single moms
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:18:15 AM
Holy cow, fairmont, piss off, mmmkay?
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 22
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young single moms
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:06:52 PM
Piss off, Fairmont.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 23
young single moms
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:49:21 PM

Why does this guy (desertrhino) keep calling me Fairmont????


I'll take a stab--

*No picture

*Questionable joined date

*Incessant posts on the single parents forums with not one nice thing to say

*Inability to hold a discussion without throwing in how morally corrupt single parents are

*Repeated talk of 'not making things work' and 'adoption'

Ringing bells?
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 24
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young single moms
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:50:34 PM
You forgot: "no one has challenged my last post, could it be that I'm right?" which is something our old friend would say. Strangely, as was mentioned, the join date is very similar to Fairmont's last incarnation's banning date, and we haven't seen another clear Fairmont clone... which is completely unlike him.

Also, if everyone is completely ignoring your argument, it more often than not means it's **stupid**... rarely (never) does it mean it's so right as to be unassailable. Just sayin'.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 25
young single moms
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:08:54 AM
I'd still like to see you answer my question in the other thread that you're avoiding, Fairmont--I mean seasiren. You know, the one that asks what motivates you to be on a one 'woman' crusade to bash us? Post in no other threads than these? That one?
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 26
young single moms
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:57:17 PM
Seasiren, you are still ignoring my question.





 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 27
young single moms
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:44:49 PM
I wonder seasiren..were you this wise 20 years ago? Did you have the ability to pick out red flags from men, when you barly knew how to have a proper relationship? Were you this condenseding and self-rightous 20 years ago? I am much wiser now then I was even 10 years ago. But I don't go around calling everyone else an idiot who is 1o years younger then me and not getting it. Now if when i'm 40, if i meet a 40 year old acting like an 18 year old, then perhaps I will.

My son wants me to use these smileys..

and no he isn't reading these posts..
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 28
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young single moms
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:17:27 PM

For a few centuries we did the love marriage children thing in that oder now it seems to be infactuation and rush into things have a child and move on.

More people should work on their relationships and we would not have as many young single moms. Also take time to get to know the other person better to find out if they are really marriage material before having sex with them.


Oh heck. I couldn't let this egregious pile of horse hockey pass... your "a few centuries" of "love marriage children" is completely false and shows exactly how much thought and effort you are putting into your debating.

Check out: http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/ATLAS_EN/html/history_of_marriage_in_western.html

Perhaps we should just go back to arranged marriages. Then at least the parents of the people involved will have vetted their child's partner on some level. Of course, love as we know it would once again be completely divorced from marriage, but that's a small price to pay for 2-parent households for all kids. Or we could just flat outlaw divorce. *SHRUG*
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 29
young single moms
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:21:04 PM
Let's not forget that before the divorce laws became easier, people used to stay in very unhappy marriages to abusive spouses, adulterers, alcoholics, and there was NO WAY OUT. If you did get out, you might as well have had a scarlet letter on your forehead. Which is oddly enough the way some people still seem to see it. Who says we've evolved?
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 30
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young single moms
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:54:21 AM
Johne, why don't you take your vast, informed knowledge about how to make relationships and marriages work and GET MARRIED AND/OR HAVE KIDS YOURSELF, *before* you open your mouth about others' efforts in that arena. If you had been married 20 years and had a couple of kids, and were happy and together, people might take your opinions on the matter of successful relationships a little more seriously.

Instead, you come off as a nebbishy single man who's allowed his bitterness over living in mom's basement and getting treated poorly by a few single moms or single women in general turn him into a forum-stalking blowhard with one or two stock responses that get dragged out to beat every. single. single. mother. with. Hey, it's cool you're starting to add the occasional disclaimer, like "(both me and women)" and "(again not all but some)" but you know, we can actually see right through that ploy. Just sayin.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 31
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young single moms
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:38:44 PM
Johne, I didn't say you live with your parents... I said that's how you come across in the forum.

Now, you're totally entitled to your opinion, but you seem to think it's better than everyone else's opinion... and you have no f-ing clue what you're talking about. You're like the armchair quarterback (never even played college football) who could easily have won the Superbowl when that idiot (who's made a career of actually playing pro ball) just threw it away. WTF-ever.

Show us a long-term, well-established relationship, or even one that failed and taught you something about saving a marriage, and we'll listen, mmmkay? Until then, you're completely ignorant of what it's REALLY about, and you're just calling the plays at the watercooler on Monday with your equally ignorant cow-orkers.

Of COURSE having an established life plan and career before having kids is a great idea. When has the age of the single mother involved EVER had any effect on your bashing? Whether she was married and hubby left, died, was abusive, alcoholic, what-have-you? I'll answer for you: not once. Grow up, dude.

Just to show there's no hard feelings, I even framed you up a nice print: http://www.cafepress.com/tblurts.89620415
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 32
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young single moms
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:56:13 PM

I was engaged to a woman but she started to develop a cocaine habbit and I was smart enough to get out before it got worse. Some people are not smart and would have had a child in that situation...not me though.


...and if she'd developed that blow habit 5 years and a kid or two later, guess what boat YOU would be in, buddy. I'll give you a hint: It involves the words "single" and "parent."

LUCKY is not the same as smart.

But I'll tell you what, Johne-me-lad. Show me a single ANSWER, as opposed to your ignorant speculation and bashing on a topic with which you have no experience, and I'll buy you a beer.
 poett1984
Joined: 4/30/2016
Msg: 33
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young single moms
Posted: 5/4/2016 3:38:54 PM
You did not write this poem. I did (Ashley Angell). I would appreciate it if you would delete your post. You did not have my permission to post it on this website. Every other website I found that had posted it deleted it. I have sent you several messages requesting that you take it down. I have also contacted the administrator of this website. The poem is copywritten, and I don't appreciate it being posted. What upsets me the most is you posted it as if you were the one who wrote it. You know nothing about me, and I don't want this poem that I wrote to my mother when I was 12 years old on the internet. PLEASE TAKE IT DOWN.
 poett1984
Joined: 4/30/2016
Msg: 34
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young single moms
Posted: 5/4/2016 3:41:04 PM
Pierced_Chick....
You did not write this poem. I did (Ashley Angell). I would appreciate it if you would delete your post. You did not have my permission to post it on this website. Every other website I found that had posted it deleted it. I have sent you several messages requesting that you take it down. I have also contacted the administrator of this website. The poem is copywritten, and I don't appreciate it being posted. What upsets me the most is you posted it as if you were the one who wrote it. You know nothing about me, and I don't want this poem that I wrote to my mother when I was 12 years old on the internet. PLEASE TAKE IT DOWN.
 poett1984
Joined: 4/30/2016
Msg: 35
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young single moms
Posted: 5/4/2016 3:41:27 PM
Pierced_Chick....
You did not write this poem. I did (Ashley Angell). I would appreciate it if you would delete your post. You did not have my permission to post it on this website. Every other website I found that had posted it deleted it. I have sent you several messages requesting that you take it down. I have also contacted the administrator of this website. The poem is copywritten, and I don't appreciate it being posted. What upsets me the most is you posted it as if you were the one who wrote it. You know nothing about me, and I don't want this poem that I wrote to my mother when I was 12 years old on the internet. PLEASE TAKE IT DOWN.


 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 36
young single moms
Posted: 5/4/2016 4:13:52 PM
^^^I understand you're upset, but remember the saying 'imitation is the best form of flattery'<
 poett1984
Joined: 4/30/2016
Msg: 37
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young single moms
Posted: 5/9/2016 12:20:32 PM
I don't understand why she just won't take it down. I have asked her repeatedly. She didn't even give me credit for it, and posted it as her own. I don't want the poem on this website.
 GoodtimeswithNste
Joined: 9/20/2012
Msg: 38
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young single moms
Posted: 6/29/2016 11:16:16 PM
I prefer it. Hard to understand that love till you have a child
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