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 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 11
overweight womenPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
How do you, or does anyone else, know what is 10 lbs overweight? Get real. You have no way of knowing someone's weight just by looking at them. You have every ideal weight memorized for every height? Some people are "overweight" but lean, too. Sheesh.


It was just a general example to prove a point. I can't tell exactly how much someone is overweight just by looking at them. However I can easily tell the difference between someone who is extremely overweight / obese and someone who has a little bit of excess body fat just by looking at them. BTW I wouldn't consider someone who is over their "ideal weight" due to having a muscular / athletic build to be overweight.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 12
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overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:06:24 AM
And my response wasnt aimed at you specifically but all those who think like that. Overweight is a representation on a scale that is higher than your ideal weight or ideal weight "range". The charts dont care if its muscle or not, its still overweight as its thought that people dont need that much extra muscle tissue. And weight gain through muscle gain can be a problem too for some people. My point is that its impossible to tell someone's weight by looking at them, and that you can be overweight for other reasons than being "fat". I realize what you meant.
 EclecticGroove
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 14
overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:51:06 AM
I would have to agree with many above (on several points).

I have no problem with women who have some extra weight. I'm not in perfect shape, I don't expect anyone to be either. Weight is a funny thing like that as well. When I was in the best shape of my life I weighed over 300lbs. This is because I was seriously lifting, playing football, and am a fairly tall and "built big" individual. But if you looked at it as a plain number of height/weight you would probably dismiss me as a fatass before you even actually looked at me.

As for the OP issues. Profile, all profile. At a cursory glance it looks like an automated "bot" made it with all the javascript errors and smiley faces littered all over. Actually reading through it I would agree that you don't just place the religion there as a part of your life, it comes off very heavy handed and a tad bit judgmental.

I would agree with others and head on over to the profile review section. You will get some good eyes on it there (male and female). You may want to mention that you want your religious views to be a big part of it, since I think many people will probably recommend cutting it back. Keeping it there WILL limit the responses, I can guarantee that, but you are looking for quality of a match, not quantity I'd assume.

And sex before marriage? I wouldn't mention it right in the profile like that. That's something to be discussed between you and someone that get in that position later on. You already have your religion prominently displayed, and you asking for long term relations, not intimate encounters, so I think it's a bit off putting and superfluous to have it mentioned right then and there.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 15
overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:59:30 AM
Overweight is a representation on a scale that is higher than your ideal weight or ideal weight "range". The charts dont care if its muscle or not, its still overweight as its thought that people dont need that much extra muscle tissue.


I understand what the scale charts / BMI state about being overweight. However in practical terms, most people would consider a person that was over their "ideal weight" ( due to muscle ) to have a muscular / athletic build, not overweight. In practical terms, overweight is used when a person has excess body fat.


My point is that its impossible to tell someone's weight by looking at them


I agree. But as stated earlier, most people can easily tell the difference between a person who has a lot of excess body fat and and a person who has a little bit of excess body fat.
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 16
overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:16:33 AM
These are based on my personal observations and experiences, nothing more. So, don't blast me, OK?

Overweight people tend to have poor impulse control (not always, but often). That's partly how they became overweight to begin with.

Get a group of women together to go out drinking and you'll often find the most overweight ones getting the most drunk and out of control, acting inappropriately with waiters, other patrons, etc. Overweight is often (though not always) a symptom of some deeper issues.

This lack of impulse control reveals itself in other ways.

Just recently on another site I politely told one woman (who was overweight) that I could offer no encouragement to her, after she contacted me. She wrote back asking what I meant. I said I was not interested and then she wrote back saying I should "get off my high horse" and her tone was belligerent. You see what I mean? Attitude problems abound! i was simply trying to be polite and this is the reaction I got!

So, even though I have had female friends who are severely overweight (and have even gone out with one whom I knew from when she was not severely overweight) it is a warning sign that I heed.

In addition, as far as your profile is concerned, it's a disaster. Too much stuff about religious beliefs, which have no place in a profile whatsoever.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 17
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overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:30:18 AM
With all due respect unless we get some chloroform we can only judge a person's weight visually. As wrong as you might see it that is indeed all we usually have to go on.

You've been given some great advice. Given the realities of the "faith" some of us simply have intellectualized Christianity out of our lives. We might tolerate it, but not at a price of your potential prostheletizing.

One thing I might add is that I often see a profile with excessive restricitions as an alarm bell indicating you favor the victim card over the survivor one. Yes, some of us get more attetnion than we can possibly handle, but ask yourself, do you?

Good luck to you OP.<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 18
overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:38:45 PM
bubble_boy:

You made some other points that I missed. Thanks.
 6dutchman6
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 22
overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 6:43:39 PM
From what I read in the forums, a lot of guys avoid women with strong religious beliefs

Agreed - I've met quite a few creepy fanatics, they don't let up either.

The Jehovah witnesses always' send female recruiters to your door, it's amazing, it's impossible to argue with logic

Everything you say that has a logical/scientific foundation to it will just be met with "well the bible say's, it's in the bible, the bible tells us".
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 23
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overweight women
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:26:17 PM
Location, location, location. You're fishing in the wrong pond. I know plenty of big women who had no problem finding a guy. But POF isn't the place for you. Try your local church; look into singles meets at other churches of your same denomination (is that the correct word?). I think that there are also religion specific web dating sites as well. Oh, and by stating up front that you won't have sex before marriage, you're limiting yourself to way less than 1% of the male population; good luck with that. It might have been considered normal 100 years ago, but certainly not today in most western countries. Leave out any mention of the cat. In my life, I've only known one guy who likes cats. The rest think they're a nuisance. We can deal with it, but it's just one more negative on your profile.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 26
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overweight women
Posted: 12/15/2007 10:52:16 AM
Post number 39, you are SO RIGHT. The Jehova Witnesses would NEVER send over weight women out door to door. Which is why i chat with the ones they do send out to me. After i have had enough, i invite them in for a few shots of Jim Beam Black bourbon. They seem to leave really fast after that. Even before i get the bottle opened.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 35
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overweight women
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:13:59 PM
RE: First post.

Top things? Here you go, in order of most important to least.

1. Not kind. I hate a mean or prejudiced girl... makes me think they are just insufferably stupid and vapid.
2. Dramatic. I was over drama by grade 10 ok? Seriously, makes me think they are childish (which they are).
3. Bad hair. I hate bad hair... boo.
4. Bad hygiene. Why would I even want to touch you?
5. Depressed.
6. Cries too easily.
7. Clueless and not subtle in the least.

That about sums it up. I didn't list any kind of physical turn off(aside from the hair thing) because... well I don't really generalize physical attributes... I'm either attracted or I'm not, there's no formula.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 39
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overweight women
Posted: 8/3/2008 10:30:43 PM
Your screen name seems surprisingly apt now...
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 44
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overweight women
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:26:19 AM
what is overweight , is it what the mass media tells us, i can find beauty in everyone
 wisguyingb
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 51
overweight women
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:04:39 AM
Biggest turnoffs for myself are

Smoking
Drugs
Drinks a lot
Superficial
Tattoo's
Likes Dancing
Party Animal
Can't have a good conversation with the woman
Bad with money/heavy in debt
multiple kids with multiple men
The gal only has male friends

I avoid most women with anyone of these traits. A woman who carries just one of these traits comes off as high risk and is not normally worth my time and effort.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 52
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overweight women
Posted: 8/5/2008 8:41:53 AM
A man's or woman's appearence is the first point of attraction. If you don't a green light on that, the "get to know you" isn't going to happen.

Assuming a man likes your appearence, for me it's the ability to laugh and embrace life. I look for women that don't take themselves or life too seriously. It's the adage, don't sweat the small stuff...it's all small stuff. Be uplifting and fun. No one wants to be around a downer whether friends or girlfriends.
 canusatisfymoi
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 53
overweight women
Posted: 8/5/2008 8:55:55 AM
No its not because of the weight. Some people once you talk to them you learn more about them that could turn a guy off. For instance, I talk to this really smoking hot girl with a perfect body. She seems interesting the first few weeks. Then she start talking about her ex and his family. I got totally turn off by that. Imagine what happens if I and her actually gone out and then break up. Crazy b**tch.
 jrbickers123
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 68
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overweight women
Posted: 8/11/2008 4:12:09 PM
athulatha is right. weight might not be what's turning guys away when it comes to you. I personally hate skinny girls, I want a girl with some meat on her, but at the same time i want curves, not an oval shape. so weight is only a problem for a lot of guys if theres enough of it that theres no curves.

but with what athulatha said, its so so true. I see all these profiles of girls that are very strongly religious. guys are just really really turned off by women who are highly religious. saying your most simplified religious affiliation is enough, if your christian just say "christian", even that will scare off a lot of guys, but not all of them. and i think this goes for women too. dating + religion = bad combo.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 70
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overweight women
Posted: 8/11/2008 8:28:31 PM
"I feel better with every pound I shed!"

me too!! or every inch as it is these days. I am NOT measuring except by my clothing size. I went pants shopping today and ALL of the size 12's I tried on were too big for me. I am a 10, and I feel very good about it. Its more than just the number on the scale. I am a smaller size now than when I started college, and yet I weight more. Actually I am the smallest size I ever remember being. It really is a new me, and I and others are starting to like it.
 Urbanessa
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 75
overweight women
Posted: 8/14/2008 10:11:53 PM

What inconsiderate guys there are. Overweight women need loving as well. They also have an advantage over the stick figures as well, they keep you warmer in the winter.

The winters down here are pretty warm, too.
And just because a woman stays trim,toned and in shape and lives a healthy lifestyle doesn't make her a "stick". It makes her healthy.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 78
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overweight women
Posted: 8/14/2008 11:55:09 PM
What does weight have to do with it? Some guys like thin girls, some guys like chubby girls. You are not attracting the guys who like either for some reason. You can't blame it on your weight so much if you have the right attitude. Your profile is at issue. Many men are not going to wait to have sex before marriage unless you are in some extremely conservative area. I don't think that's realistic. Also, the way your profile written is not so good. You should edit it. A profile is very key along with pictures in attracting males, let's face it. If you sound complicated via your profile and don't have many pictures, we are generally not interested as males.
 ByteMeOk
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 81
overweight women
Posted: 8/15/2008 8:52:10 AM
I love woman of all type including a few extra pounds provided they have some curves. Curvy women are just so sexy. However those that are obese...it just actaully makes me a bit sick I'm sorry to say. I mean if you have to lift a piece of flap to get to her body...there is something wrong there.
 waboloh
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 83
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overweight women
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:02:51 PM
"They are still technically considered human - have a heart"

Ahh....... from the mouth of a mental midget
overweight women
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:54:23 AM
Depends on how overweight. I like curves...though seems like a lot of obese women call themselves "curvy".
 Hurbel2k
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 86
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overweight women
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:13:16 PM
Religion is an issue if she talks to much about it or even lets the religion influence our date.

A number of physical traits are turnoffs.

Women not writing a "hi" or "hello" at the beginning of their message will be ignored very quickly.
A "bye" or "have a nice day" or something at the end of a message would be awesome.
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 89
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overweight women
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:21:07 AM
I don't mind overweight women at all, aesthetically. For me, it's just not a negative issue in itself. Overweight women are perfectly beautiful and sexy. Perception of beauty varies with time and between cultures. We don't all think the same way, and there is no absolute measure of beauty.

-Gray
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