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Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 76
Three Date Rule?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
My mother is an immigrant who upon moving to North America figured her best chance of being able to stay long term would be to marry a local. That said, she would still rather have moved back than enter a loveless marriage of convenience. She figured the fastest, most efficient way to find love would be through an ad in the personals section of the newspaper (internet dating was decades away from being an option).

My father had relatively recently been dumped by his first wife. He hadn't seen it coming and was shocked to say the least. He found the experience to be rather depressing and he ended up in a bit of a funk for several months. He made a conscious decision to snap out of it, got a new job and buried himself in his work.

After a couple more months, he felt it was time to make his return to the world of dating. He was working long hours and had no interest in seeking out prospective dates in bars or clubs, so he decided it couldn't hurt to peruse the personals. He only found one ad he felt worth responding to.

Long story short, my father's was one of eighty responses my mother received within a week of placing the ad. She immediately put his in the reject pile, her sister fished it out and secretly set up a date with my father for her. My mother didn't want the first date but felt obligated. She wasn't interested in a second date (although she reluctantly agreed to one after running out of reasonable excuses). She felt like a third date wouldn't be terrible, given that the second date went better than expected. Somehow, by the end of the third date, they were engaged. They married three months later and have been together happily for thirty years and counting.

More often than not, you may find that three dates won't change your mind about someone who gives you a less than stellar first impression, but pleasant surprises are not out of the question.
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 77
Three Date Rule?
Posted: 6/24/2011 2:19:35 PM
It sounds more like the problem was your mother's negativity, not the number of dates. If you start out with some negative preconception you need to be talked out of, sure, that could take a zillion dates, depending on how stubborn you are. I couldn't stand going on dates with people in an atmosphere like that, so if someone is already predisposed to dislike me, it's not my loss if I pass her by, since I haven't invested anything. The last thing I was going to do is talk someone into going on a date with me.
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 78
Three Date Rule?
Posted: 6/25/2011 6:12:36 PM
No you can tell on the first date how they act if they are shy thats one thing if you dont click thats another. If something about him tells you hes weird I'm not going on another date. Been on dates I couldn't wait to leave. I personally wouldn't put rules on yourself go with your gut instinct. If you need to convince any person you don't need them.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 79
Three Date Rule?
Posted: 6/26/2011 7:52:45 AM
could we please just get one central place for all the rules
maybe paint them on the side of the barn
so we can all stare in wide wonder at them like bleeting sheep
and wonder in amazement when they are different from the day before ?
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 80
Three Date Rule?
Posted: 6/26/2011 11:58:26 AM
Whenever I feel it won't work out, then I won't see him again. Whether it's after the first date, the third date, or the tenth date. Having said that, I would probably go out on 2-3 dates with a man. Provided that there weren't obvious dealbreakers on the first date. I had some first dates that were okay. But there was no immediate connection. The second date was great. A connection gradually developed as we got to know each other better. Also like some others have mentioned, some people can be a little bit nervous or shy on the first date.
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 81
Three Date Rule?
Posted: 6/26/2011 10:43:12 PM
After the first date, I wouldn't be asking her out for a second if we didn't click well together. You're better off doing a lot of talking together and getting to know each other first before asking out on a date. Saves a lot of wasted time
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 82
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Three Date Rule?
Posted: 6/27/2011 7:44:04 AM
3 date rule????
how about a 3 minute rule?

both are equally silly
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