Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 126
When men get all GIRLIE.Page 9 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Let's talk about what happens when a WOMAN is in love. She is willing to stand by the worst scam, give up her family, friends. She is deaf AND blind to the reality. She listens to NO one. There is NO logic or rational in her behavior. Pretty safe to say THERE IS NOBODY HOME. We are talking about being in love SPECIFICALLY and being in a relationship. So the whole “GIRLIE MAN” idea only comes up when the love is one sided.


Sorry.. but not true for all women.

I personally make it a point to love with my head AND heart. I can't stand by someone doing wrong JUST because I love them. If they admit their errors and work to correct them.. maybe I could. It's definitely not easy.. being in love and all.. but I can't sit idly by either.

Much as I might want love... I also want to be able to look in the mirror.
 Beholder
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 127
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:46:59 PM
This thread has become far too confusing for me - looks like no matter what "level" male you are, someone inevitably thinks you're unlikeable, lying or wrong.

I'm going to pick another Greek letter - can I be a Pi Male? I like Pi.

Mm, pie...
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 132
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/24/2007 12:11:45 AM
OP: All I can really say on this topic is that love makes fools of even the best and brightest. But hey, now that the shoe is on the other foot, maybe now you'll be a little more sympathetic towards men, though I doubt it. Men have had to put up with "doormat", to use your term, woman since practically the dawn of time, or at least the dawn of human history. Women have almost always filled the role of the "Yes Women", submissively subjecting themselves to the wills of men. Maybe it's about time that women started acting like the strong women we all know they are. Maybe it's about time that women started earning being equals. And maybe, just maybe, these "doormat" men are on some sub-conscience level just giving you a taste of "your" own medicine, and oh what a bitter medicine it is.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 133
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/24/2007 8:03:22 AM

She's probably had a long series of emotionally/physically abusive realtionships. That's because she is psychologically unfit for healthy male/female realtionships dynamics. We can take full advantage of that, but only as players.



Very well said. What I've noticed is that women that were abused, they either become abusers themselves, or find another abuser. How does that happen? She goes and finds a nice guy, everything is going well and she test him with some little temper tantrum like the OP does. He responds by doing what she said. She devalues him, is bored moves to the next guy. She does that to several guys, until she find one that tells her to shut up and take her head out of her a$s. She gets mad at first, but realizes that this guy is not going to put up with her crap and she actually apologizes, but she will continue to taunt him, until he either gets rid of her, or he concedes to one of her demands. The sad part is that she will continue to go through guys because while most guys will not put up with this behavior and leave it at that, some, the one she is looking for, the abuser, when they find each other, they stick. Thus the pathology of this behavior starts all over again.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 136
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/24/2007 3:46:20 PM

It's good to read these threads because as men, we can recognize this odd psychological pattern and act accordingly.


Yeap. There's a plethora of good sh!t, from the ridiculous, to the mundane, to the unthinkable, to the profound.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 140
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/29/2007 3:06:11 PM

I like being an alpa male, I like the fact that being a man, is what I am. These women tho sit there and say why cant you express your feelings and then get offended when I tell them that im not gay. I express my feelings when I am around my kid, or shot. Other then that .......... lol


Dude, the irony of it is that the females are not complaining about the alpha males. It's the other males here who believe that being Alpha is being some overpowering abusive person that soon should be in jail, or a figment of Hollywood's imagination. Obviously they have not met, modern Alpha, who has evolved from the cave into a man that takes command of a situation, listens to what his troops, market, clients, customers, patients, friends and family think, but makes decisions on his own. But what'ta hell, you can't turn sheep into wolfs, you can't even turn them into good shepherd dogs. So like a famous advertising slogan said "If you don't surf. Don't start."


Heheheh. And ahh, they ain't going to get it either. Ha.
 so-bay guy
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 142
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/30/2007 12:39:14 PM
i stumbled on this forum when i was stoned, but i have to say this is some deep socratic-ass shit. from what i can tell there are guys on here who are desperate for sex and'll do anything to make sure their supply doesnt go back down to zero, and there are guys who dont look at sex as the most important thing when it comes to dealing with women. The whole alpha thing is kinda funny becuase of how much it bothers some of the guys on here probably due to some threat it poses to their masculinity, which they sacrificed long ago to some shrew in exchange for a crack at her crack
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 147
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:31:17 AM
Ggirl101, you are about the 5th woman on here I'd like to marry. God bless you.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 150
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:33:30 AM
The OP is kind of correct. I have been guilty of this and have been going to the other side. A man should not compromise his dignity for any man or any woman. Your relationship has to be a deal you're willing to walk away from as a guy if it's not worth it, and you shouldn't lose your dignity. As far a male taking charge, many females like a tough man or to show some spine and toughness. That is true. However, many women don't want a guy who is insensitive, so he has to balance being strong as a person or man without being overbearing, aggressive, and his sensitiveness shouldn't be like some flood waiting to happen. And people shouldn't be so quick to fall in love. The title of this thread is interesting. It says that it's acceptable for females to be emotional, but not for the males. I believe no matter how much we talk about equality, we have to remember there are certain emotional expectations people have of males. I admit, I was once an idiot in front of a female, weak, and it stemmed from a belief generated around her believing she was this great person she portrayed herself to be, only to have the rug pulled out from under me.
Sometimes, some of us men give selflessly, and if we're betrayed, we can't help but be human no matter how strong we are... We're just human...
 hossey007
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 157
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:28:55 PM
That's why they call dogs man's best friend. kidding
 hossey007
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 158
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:37:12 PM
I guess that can work both ways. But just out of curiosity,well around here anyway,why is it that most single women that are fairly decent looking have such major issues? I went in to a silent giggle the other night when I called a lady,and all she talked about was herself,her son's father is in jail,he did drugs on and on......it's everywhere ya meet them . They say they can change them... Are lots of women drawn to abuse or something??? no common sense?? I know it's not everyone,and there are many cases where they are victimised but jesssssssse,there are so many,I feel so sorry for many people out there,they need the Lord in their life.. etc etc. How bad does a woman really want a good guy?? dependable relyable ,caring, giving ,wanting to make his lady happy but without being a whimp about it. Just venting
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 160
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:29:59 PM

Take Charge! Be the man in the relationship. We want to feel like we are taken care of, not the other way around!!!


The OP states this and then says women want an equal. Confused....obviously. A couple in an equal relationship don't need either to "take charge". That would imply one person is making all the decisions and therefore taking all the responsibility (those two are supposed to go together). I don't need nor desire my partner to make all the decision nor do I want or need to. Most decisions are mutual and those that aren't it's the other person's choice to let the person with the most experience or knowledge decide. It's utilizing and acknowledging each partner's particular set of skills and abilities which IMO just makes sense. In a successful workplace, that's how it's handled. The accountants don't make engineering decisions and the engineers don't make financial ones.

I don't think men are confused by changing gender roles per se but I sympathize that they're sometimes confronted with the "be sensitive to my needs and let me have my way" and then "step up and be a man". That would confuse anyone.

Men are generally speaking as intelligent and capable of taking care of themselves and their families as women are. And people like to feel needed and wanted, I don't see that as a particularly male trait.

It's up to each couple to decide what their roles in their particular relationship will be and to shut out all the white noise of everyone else telling them how they think they should run their lives.

The thing about equality is, it's an absolute all across the board. Not something to throw in someone's face when it's convenient or better for them, then expect traditional gender roles to be "taken care of". It's an either or, no sane man would accept anything else.
 Flavius_The _Destroyer
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 169
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:15:34 PM
Well, if there was true equality, would not masculine & feminine nature BOTH be equally valued in society?

Why is it very easy for women to "steal" mens items - pants, boxer shorts, big wrist watches, coveralls, neckties, to name a few - and have them accepted as "womens fashion", but if a guy does that, he becomes the point of ridicule and humiliation. Sadly, society continues to have double standards.

Frickin herd mentality!
 dcamnc
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 172
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:01:16 PM
I don't get girly at all in a relationship. I think this is a big reason I'm still single. I just won't put up with their crap. I do what I want, when I want. If they don't like it, bye bye.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 173
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:58:18 PM
When I love a man I bend over backwards to please him. I see no reason for him not to do the same thing. I don't call that being a doormat. I call that being crazy in love with someone.
 blindfish
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 175
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:25:00 PM
This is the reason why you always hear that women keep going for the a-holes instead of nice guys. Problem is, these a-holes generally aren't a-holes at all, they are just men who won't put up with crap from anyone, including women.

Sorry but this is utter bullshit.

A man who doesn't put up with crap is not an ***hole. A man who treats a woman like a punching bag, a target for all of the aggression built up from swallowing his boss and co-workers' bullshit, or a target for whatever other garbage that is not her fault but which he can get away with taking out on her is an ***hole.


Manipulative is just another word for smart!


No.

Just no, not even in jest.

A woman can be smart without being, or needing to be, manipulative. I know many of them.


It appears to be whatever fits THEIR need at the moment is what is important!


NOW you get it.

 blindfish
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 176
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:28:00 PM
(moved to previous post due to silly forum post limit)
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 180
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/25/2010 6:54:17 PM

Guys: Just be guys

Okay. *belch*


I have to laugh a little at the women who say they want a man who takes charge. They say that until the moment they disagree with the man's decision and all hell breaks loose. Lol.

Just because a woman disagrees doesn't mean she doesn't want him to take charge. A lot of guys have the mistaken notion that when she starts to argue with him, that the best thing to do is just back down all the time to keep the peace. All that accomplishes is making her lose respect for you.

Standing your ground might make "all hell break loose" in the short term, but in the long term she'll respect you more. As evolved as humans like to think we are, there's still a monkey brain in that skull driving our actions, and most women still like to know that they have a partner who is strong enough to stand up to her. After all, if he won't stand up *to* her, then he sure as hell won't stand up *for* her.

That's not at all the same as picking fights just for the hell of it, of course. Nor does it mean being stubborn. What it means is that you have to have a backbone.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 183
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/26/2010 8:01:41 AM

I have to laugh a little at the women who say they want a man who takes charge. They say that until the moment they disagree with the man's decision and all hell breaks loose. Lol.

Yup. It's always a case of, damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's been my experience that basically women want a benevolent dictator; a guy who makes all the decisions, but manages to make the ones she wants made exactly the way she wants things. Women don't like making decisions, and of course expect men to read their minds to know what she wants.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 186
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/26/2010 4:18:32 PM
as i read what has become a woman-bashing thread, i can't help but think so many here have no conflict resolution notions beyond appeasement, and are just upset that the one tool in their toolbox doesn't work.

i've been there. i've bent till i couldn't bend any more. i like to think i got some of my best lessons about discernment and boundary setting from those failed relationships.

but on topic, my impression is the women who are most concerned that a man have 'balls' in the relationship are the ones who have the least ovaries. the ones least empowered, least independent, least willing to take responsibility, and least able to deal with the actual man in front of them because of their preconceived notion of how a man should be. the measure of 'balls' is not a man's ability to deal with manipulation, the primary relationship tool of the woman with no ovaries. it's his ability to find a partner who's his equal in carrying out a joyous, honest, good-faith relationship, and then co-create it.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 188
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/26/2010 8:48:32 PM
When men get GIRLIE.

Did they borrow your nighties and makeup,heheheh...


why is it that you lose yourself when it comes to women ? Being a doormat and doing whatever the girl wants is not attractive! Being a yes dear,no dear kinda guy is not attractive! Speak your thoughts. If you don't like something we do tell us instead of holding back and allowing us to think you don't have a spine!

Take Charge! Be a the man in the relationship. We want to feel like we are taken care of ,not the other way around!!!
OK, I needed to get this out off my chest. Thanks.


Count me out on this silly diatribe, I am incharge of me, as an adult woman who knows her own mind , who knows what is a team work on relationship if a guy said yes dear,no dear, he is on the team with me.. He approve of me, and no statics of verbal fights.....
I don't need a guy to" take care of me", my FATHER already did that ,,,he schooled me on my behavior and he thinks I am good at the age of 14...
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 193
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/27/2010 11:51:14 AM

Did they borrow your nighties and makeup,heheheh...


That's the first thing I thought of when I read the subject line.

I'm not exactly sure what "getting GIRLIE" is..can anyone explain?

I've held purses when my late wife was trying on clothes..I've gone out and purchased necessary female (monthly) things. Never bothered me a bit. Have I cried during a movie? Not even going to admit to that..but I don't like the Ol Yellar movie..but..what exactly is "getting all GIRLIE"?
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 195
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/27/2010 3:44:22 PM

Have I cried during a movie?

the scene at the end with dorothy and the scarecrow gets me every time.

i have to pull a frilly pink hanky out of my man purse and blow a big ol salvo into it.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 196
view profile
History
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 4/28/2010 1:07:12 PM

Women don't like making decisions, and of course expect men to read their minds to know what she wants.

I don't think so that it is about liking or not liking to make a decision by the gentler gender . In a relationship someone has their forte and someone does it with a gusto.
When two people are like two peas in a pod, mind reading is not an issue
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 200
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 5/8/2010 4:27:08 PM
I actually happen to like the a 'yes dear, no dear kinda guy'. If you don't want them, send them my way please.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >