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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > not single/not looking well "just for friends"      Home login  
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 TensawEagle1
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 51
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not single/not looking well just for friendsPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hey phoenix guy26,

Good post!

I agree, the name of the site is suppose to be POF, last time I looked...Now what does it mean?

PLENTY OF FISH!!!!!

Duh....A dating site What is a dating site?

A place to post Single/ not lookin Or, just here for the Forums

Maybe they should start another site called SINGLE NOT LOOKIN, I wonder how many people dating would hog in on that site?

TensawEagle
 An Acronym
Joined: 4/21/2006
Msg: 52
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 3:59:49 AM
When I first joined, I didn't fully understand why in the hell people would list forums only/not looking, even though they were single.
But, since there are 'plenty of fish' out there, you pass these potential mates by and dive in.

With that said, I'm now here mainly for the forums and to keep in touch with friends I've met along my dating journey - rarely do I initiate first contact (think it's been 2 months or so since I last sent a message to a potential match).
Why? The simple reason is this: the insincerity of women (and no doubt men) on this site ... very few seem to want to actually try and date, and those who do have their measuring bar raised so high even less can meet it.

So! I think many start with the intentions of meeting others and possibly dating ... yet after months of games being played, people seemingly disappearing from conversations that had potential (this is something I must admit I'm guilty of) and general B.S. people simply stop taking the aspirins and remove the cause of the headaches

Forums are great, trying to date someone here (and I'll guess all dating sites) is another story ...

 raychass
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 53
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 4:08:46 AM

Maybe they should start another site called SINGLE NOT LOOKIN, I wonder how many people dating would hog in on that site?



If it had these forums there then i think plenty of fish would be very empty. The only reason i stay here is for the forums anyway.
 hala-steve
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 54
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 4:13:26 AM
People just use the forums as a bloody excuse (im not bitter in anyway, but why don't people call a spade a spade and stop beating about the bush)
Actually, i don't give a flying f**k if i get replies/messages or not.
The truth of the matter is that whatever would be, would definitely be...regardless!
Guess im done with topic 4 now.
y'all regardless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in advance and a prosperous new year to all the single/not single on POF!
 Princess2404
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 55
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 4:57:10 AM
hi i no what u mean and a lot of people on here is taking it the wrong way and i would not like my partner if i had one on a dating site i merry xmax xxx
 Hiker07
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 56
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 4:58:11 AM
Halasteve, that's a tad harsh, don't you think? Bloody excuse for what?

I discovered the forums shortly after joining this site, and they are among the best self-moderated boards that you will find anywhere on any topic. They're full of information, and highly entertaining. There is much to learn about relationships in general, and that is helpful even when one is IN a relationship. We've all screwed up relationships in the past. Why not do all we can to try to prevent making mistakes in the future? That includes learning new things, and these forums are one source of that (though, of course, all posts should be taken with a grain of salt).

So even though I'm currently in what I consider to be the best relationship of my LIFE, I continue to read/participate in the forums because they have the potential to add to my knowledge in a way that will make this relationship even better.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 57
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:09:12 AM
OP - don’t let the little fringe stuff bother you. Just ignore things you don’t like or nag at you.

The bottom line is - it is NONE OF ANYONE’S BUSINESS - what others do/think/act like or even say for that matter.

Unless someone bashes me directly - I ignore things that don’t seem right/logical to me - IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS and I have ZERO interest in even thinking about it - never mind trying to change it.
 hala-steve
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 58
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:12:39 AM
...don't mean to be harsh in anyway, my apologies to all offended, but i guess that's just me (not saying im mean, but i always like to hit the nail @ d head)
once more!!!
 kathareeene
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 59
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:15:39 AM
theyre fulla shiznit
if they see something betta than what they have (or what they THINK) is betta they will be off with that person in a flash
plus if the significant other sees em on there they can CLAIM they are 'innocent' whateva they r straight up liars and think we are all fools
my personal favorite is "Im only here for the forums" kathi
 Hiker07
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 60
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:18:22 AM
Halasteve, I think you might be *trying* to hit the nail on the head, but have missed it once again. Exactly what are you trying to say? I'm not offended, but rather, just looking for clarification. So I'll ask again. Bloody excuse for what? Let's discuss!
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 61
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not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:22:33 AM
Personally, I've just met someone and think it might have a bit of a future...it's very early days so I really don't know. I've left everything in my profile except I've noted--not single/not looking...because, at this moment I'm not. I've also added a little blurb that I've met someone and roughly the situation.

These things are just guides...funny thing is--I've gotten more 'hits' since I put that on than before. Go figure.
 PercentileIndex
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 62
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:22:56 AM
kathareeene: Harsh judgments not?
I do believe some are being dishonest. However, over the years I have had my profile as "not single/not looking" even when I was single and just here for the forums. The local men on here are less than desirable and lack respect in every sense of the word. Now that I'm seeing someone I'm not on here as often and am really here for the forums. I'm very smitten by this new man but it's still in the getting to know each other stage.
 hala-steve
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 63
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:35:24 AM
you just don't wanna give up ehh?
ok...my point is this (from my own point of view anyway) why would i still be on a dating site, when i am happily involved with someone???
It just doesn't seem right...its as simple as ABC!
You may have your own views/opinions, but like i said earlier on, it just doesn't seem right...GET BUSY!
 islgurl
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 64
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:39:50 AM
^^^^^I disagree. I know several women AND men on this site who ARE in committed relationships and here for Forum participation ONLY. Several are on my Favorites list and we often communicate outside this site.
When I first checked this site out a couple of years ago I was in relationship-recovery mode and had no desire to do more than meet some new people, male or female.

I was very clear that I was not seeking a "relationship" but just to perhaps date.
After a few first-dates, I changed that to "Forums Only"...
(And became addicted to them...hehheh.)

It was only just this year that I got back into the "dating scene" (and am still somewhat reticent in that dept.)

And these Forums are the best of any forum site that I have found..diversified, informative, hilarious,etc.... and I have met, in person, some of the greatest people ....and probably would not have met them if not for this site.
 PercentileIndex
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 65
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:45:51 AM

you just don't wanna give up ehh?


Give up what exactly?
I'm on forums all over the net. So what. What makes this forum any different than others really? My profile is hidden and you can't even get to it unless you are here in the forums.

When he wants us to commit and become more serious then that will be the day I will leave permanently.
 Hiker07
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 66
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 6:12:20 AM
why would i still be on a dating site, when i am happily involved with someone??


I guess you missed my response to that in an earlier post on this thread, so I'll copy and paste it here for your convenience:


I discovered the forums shortly after joining this site, and they are among the best self-moderated boards that you will find anywhere on any topic. They're full of information, and highly entertaining. There is much to learn about relationships in general, and that is helpful even when one is IN a relationship. We've all screwed up relationships in the past. Why not do all we can to try to prevent making mistakes in the future? That includes learning new things, and these forums are one source of that (though, of course, all posts should be taken with a grain of salt).

So even though I'm currently in what I consider to be the best relationship of my LIFE, I continue to read/participate in the forums because they have the potential to add to my knowledge in a way that will make this relationship even better.


I hope that clears it up for you. I'm not at all saying you should agree with me; I'm just saying that some of us are here for completely legitimate reasons, even though we're in a relationship. Perhaps a bit of open-mindedness is in order.


GET BUSY


Oh, I have been. I'm worn out right now from an *entire weekend* of getting busy. And I met this treasure of a guy through POF, so what I'm doing seems to be working. Best of luck in your search!
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 67
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 6:21:09 AM
I was single and looking when I joined this site. I met my girlfriend on here and we stay on so we can message each other when we're working. The thing that I always laugh at is the people that "aren't single / aren't looking" that have their perfect first date planned. Why plan a date if you aren't looking to date?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 68
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not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 6:36:25 AM

Well I am not sure if I would say this bothers me, but it makes me think . Finding profiles of people that are in the not single/not looking well heres my thing, if you are not single then why are you on a "dating" website. Yes I do know that this is a social network, and yes I am also aware that people do come on here to just read the forums.


Here's some food for (productive) thought. Take a few minutes and read the rules. A thread search would reveal this topic (horse) has been done ad nauseum and also that you have something on your profile that could get it deleted.

As many have said what other people are here for doesn't concern you. I wonder why people start these threads, so indulge me, are these profiles of ladies you're contacting or ladies who are contacting you?

I've never seen anyone say that ladies are sending emails that have the not single/not looking on their profiles. If these women aren't trying to "hit on" you, then what's the beef? If it's ladies you're contacting, or wanting to contact but don't since they're "not looking" isn't that the same as whining about something you can't have?

If you'd just focus on why you're here and who you're looking for, you'd not have the time nor energy to burn up wondering what everyone else is doing IMO. Sort of the lemming mindset........
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 69
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not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 7:41:40 AM
I have those things in my profile... and an explanation in the first line as to WHY I've chosen those things.

I am single. I'm not looking right now. Friends are always welcome. If someone *spectacular* happens to drop into my lap, I am not adverse to talking and seeing where things go from there. Simple. I am not actively seeking a relationship at this time.
 Straight Christian Lady
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 70
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:09:03 AM

I am single. I'm not looking right now. Friends are always welcome. If someone *spectacular* happens to drop into my lap, I am not adverse to talking and seeing where things go from there. Simple. I am not actively seeking a relationship at this time.
What she said, tho' I do message people who get my attention in some way.
 raychass
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 71
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:13:19 AM
People just use the forums as a bloody excuse


No it's not an excuse. The forums here are better and more entertaining then tv .You can't really meet anyone from these dating sites anyway so the only reason i stay here is the forums. Sure there are a few cases here and there of people finding love on dating sites ,but it's not the norm. Most pe0ple can be on here forever and never meet anyone who could possibly be of any interest to them.

If pof were to split up the forums and the dating site i would close my profile on the dating site and stay with the forums.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 72
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not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 10:52:04 AM
I get tired of all the sh*tty, disrespectful, uneducated emails and change my status to not single/not looking quite a bit, although I am single. Sometimes I need a break but don't want to delete my profile. I also DO -in fact- enjoy the forums.
 southernlass
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 73
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 11:30:59 AM

After reading the diatribe of Heart Surgeon I'm totally baffled as why he's single. Makes no sense.


Ultimate heart surgeon is single because of the following: misogyny

Main Entry: mi·sog·y·ny
Pronunciation: \mə-ˈsä-jə-nē\
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek misogynia, from misein to hate + gynē woman — more at queen
Date: circa 1656
: a hatred of women
— miso·gy·nic \ˌmi-sə-ˈji-nik, -ˈgī-\ adjective
— mi·sog·y·nist \mə-ˈsä-jə-nist\ noun or adjective
— mi·sog·y·nis·tic \mə-ˌsä-jə-ˈnis-tik\ adjective

His distaste for our gender is quite evident in many or most of his posts. He literally and utterly hates women, though he is obviously still interested in dating the fairer sex, amazingly enough. Considering his perceptions of women, I cannot imagine why. The sheer amount of generalizations, the stereotyping, and skewed logic inherent in his "diatribes" are genuinely so overwhelming that one could do a thread itself in response to these alone. Since I don't want to hijack anymore than I already have, I'll leave it at that.
 Da_Leafs
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 74
not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 12:38:28 PM

I get tired of all the sh*tty, disrespectful, uneducated emails and change my status to not single/not looking quite a bit, although I am single. Sometimes I need a break but don't want to delete my profile.

Ever think of just hiding your profile??
Probably not because you still want to be out there.
I like the ones that state they are here just to chat/make friends but still request a pic because "fair is fair". WTF does it matter what a person looks like if it's just to chat??
To all those that say that in your profile...BullShit!!! It's just your way of being selective and quite the contradiction!!! I'd trust you as far as I could throw you.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 75
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not single/not looking well just for friends
Posted: 12/17/2007 2:53:17 PM
Yes, I do hide my profile too.
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