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 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 611
older women younger menPage 13 of 83    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I might have mentioned this before, but IMO there are several reasons why more older women are dating younger men.

A. More attractive 40+ yr old women.
B. More single 30+ yr old women because of the higher divorce rate and more women are waiting longer to settle down.
C. Some older women have more common interests with younger men and think younger men are more exciting and fun to hang out with.
D. Some younger men prefer older women who are more mature, wiser, and have more sexual experience.

I think an older women/younger men relationship could work out if the age difference was around 10-12 years or less, he is mature for his age, they have the same interests, and especially future goals and plans. An example of future plans and goals. She doesn't want to have any more children and he is okay with that. If they don't have the same future goals and plans, the relationship will be probably be a fling or casual affair instead of a long term, serious committment.
 1SCHOLAR
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 613
older women younger men
Posted: 5/3/2007 10:51:59 AM
i love older women
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 618
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Posted: 5/4/2007 3:17:53 AM
All this talk about older guys being set in their ways, no fun, etc. is such a joke. There are just as many older women that are exactly the same way. I think it's funny the way so many of the female profiles on here from older women read like they're trying to be 18 years old again. It seems women need this consistant ego boost for some reason which is probably why they try to date kids a lot these days. "Look how great I am, young people find me attractive!" I wouldn't feel so great about it since a lot of guys like older women because they have this idea that it's easy sex most of the time. It usually doesn't even matter what the women are like or how attractive they are. I've had younger women interested but when I think about it, it just seems creepy. I think you're mind has to be in a pretty strange place if you can casually date someone a lot younger and not feel weird about it. There are exceptions where people of different ages click very well and great relationships can happen, but as far as chasing young people for sexual gratification or a trophy on your arm (which is the way a lot of these relationships seem) it seems a bit twisted and predatory to me. I never see too many threads on here from older guys talking about how great it is picking up young girls....come to think of it I don't think there are any. I guess it shows the difference in maturity levels between the sexes as we get older.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 620
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older women younger men
Posted: 5/4/2007 8:11:03 AM
champ: You're completely right about the double standards when it comes to this kind of "dating". I actually saw a thread in here one time where a guy was posting. He was about 35 or so and had his age preference set at 18-40. Out of the blue a group of female posters started ganging up on him saying that he was a border-line pedophile. How's that for a double standard.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 621
older women younger men
Posted: 5/4/2007 9:17:27 AM

it since a lot of guys like older women because they have this idea that it's easy sex most of the time. It usually doesn't even matter what the women are like or how attractive they are


Some younger men and older women will use each other for sex. The younger men wants an older women because she usually has more sexual experience. The older women thinks younger men will have more energy and will be more exciting in bed. Being with a younger man might make her feel better about herself. There are also some younger men who are interested in having a serious relationship with older women and vice versa. There are also some people who are only interested in sex regardless of the age of the other person.


You're completely right about the double standards when it comes to this kind of "dating".


Maybe that's true among some people this thread, but in general society accepts older men/younger women relationships just as much if not more than older women/younger men relationships. Older men have been dating younger women for many years. The young woman dates the older man because he is rich and powerful. The older man dates the younger woman because she is attractive. The older women/ younger man relationships are a more recent trend.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 623
older women younger men
Posted: 5/4/2007 9:42:59 AM
^^^Champ, as usual you're right. What's the point in trying? You're making a very good argument here and in numerous other threads for months (maybe years?) that dating and bothering with the opposite sex isn't worth it for you. Ok, so we get it. Yes, I know responding to you is only going to encourage more every-other post responses from you, but the overall point to all of your threads is that you should give up entirely. If you feel that way to the point where women telling you otherwise doesn't work, then go ahead and give up already.

P.S., you don't like older women any more than a lot of us like older men, but you somehow never really see it as the same...
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 626
older women younger men
Posted: 5/4/2007 1:55:58 PM
Some people are more compatible with people around their age. Some people are more compatible with older people or younger people. Some people don't care about age. No big deal. If you are a 40 yr old woman, find a man around your age that usually dates women around his age, a younger man who usually dates older women, or a person who doesn't care about age. The same thing also applies to men and people of other age groups. Yes some people might want an older or younger person strictly for sex, but some people could be looking for sex and not care about the age of the other person.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 629
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Posted: 5/4/2007 3:21:55 PM
maine: The fact that your main concern with your date is "looks" completely explains why you get along better with young people. Must be the matching maturity level.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 631
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Posted: 5/4/2007 5:43:40 PM
crazy: So let me get this straight, because someone is older they don't like cultural pursuits? Well, I don't get drunk every weekend and run around acting like a moron which seems to be a popular "cultural" activity amongst the majority of the 20 something set.
By the way, I don't want to settle down, have kids or a white picket fence just yet either. I also get along quite well with younger people too and have some things in common with them but I'm not using it as an excuse to chase 18 year old girls around the school yard trying to get them in bed. It's called "being friends". There are plenty of free spirited people who are older so that really sounds like a poor excuse to me. Like I said, with the exception of a few really true deep relationships between people of drastic age differences, most of what I see are people who are immature or are intimidated by someone on the same intellectual plane because they need the ego boost. It's a shame....and I'm sorry, not that appealing either.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 633
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Posted: 5/4/2007 6:37:47 PM
champ: Forget about trying to get the truth across to curly, she already has her mind set and her negative thoughts about us senior citizens ingrained. I don't really care one way or the other since every woman I've seen so far that only dates younger isn't even close to what attracts me physically or intellectually. The only thing that bothers me is the attitude and bull**** reasoning from people. If someone actually admitted the true superficial reasons behind this type of behavior it would at least be honest. Then again I don't see much honesty in a lot of these threads, it's mostly people saying the things they think will make them look good to others.

It's also funny that you mention how younger people don't know and history, music etc. if it didn't happen in the last five years. It's already been proven that IQ's are dropping quickly as years go by and younger (and some older) people are becoming more uneducated and clueless with regards to general knowledge, current events, etc. When I was 18-25 I knew facts and had knowledge of music, pop culture, politics etc. 50 years before I was even born. It's called being curious and expanding your horizons which no one seems to have enough brain cells left to attempt anymore. If you ever need evidence of this just watch Jay Leno and his Jaywalking episodes. It's scary.

I also see your point about the drinking thing as well. I've never been drunk or had the desire to drink or act like an idiot, even when I was young. I think it's sad that people alienate those of us who don't get drunk/high because they actually think it's the only way to socialize and have a good time. These people are alcoholics by definition and unfortunately it seems to include a lot of the population.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 638
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Posted: 5/4/2007 8:09:34 PM
Champ: I've got bad news. Most of the 50 somethings are are all about younger (than us) guys and looks as well. At least thats what the 50 something guys are telling me. It's great to know the flakiness and immaturity doesn't subside with old age. (and I'm supposed to be positive about this overall decline in depth and maturity?)

Julia: You're absolutely right. It is narrowminded to think only a certain age group are worthy to date. I see you're another one of the perfect people surrounded by positivity 24 hours a day. I wish I could find this land where no one ever gets mad, upset or has any "negativity" in their lives. I'd like to go there except I'm confined to this earthly reality where we have positivity and negativity, happiness and sadness.
Also, don't confuse "bitterness" (very popular word with women in these threads because it helps to pound the rhetoric home) with frustration. I know a few men who have joined this site, all very happy people....until they experience the lunacy of so many women online. I won't use the word "all" since I don't want to "generalize" (yet another popular forum word) but almost all of the stories they have regarding emails and encounters on the site lead me to believe that an awful lot of women in the dating world of all ages have a lot of growing up to do or have no clue what they want. (and this isn't from my experiences because mine haven't been that bad).
Don't bother to hit me with the "so do men" line because I have no interest in dating them. Come to think of it, from what I'm seeing in these forums there aren't a lot of women I'm attracted to either.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 640
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Posted: 5/4/2007 9:30:53 PM
Tifi: Read my post. I said the experiences I've had so far weren't bad. I also never said I have given up on trying to find someone. Unfortunately people who are actually attractive on the inside who appeal to me don't seem to appear very often. As far as leaving this site and getting away from some of the shallow phonies on here I think it's fast approaching since I seem to be widely despised for being real. Most of the other guys I know have already had their fill of crazies and have given up on this site. I was very positive and naive about online dating before realizing what so many women are actually like online. I'm still sure there must be one decent woman left somewhere who will click with me (not necessarily online). If not, being alone has it's good points as well.

Crazy: What's a girl to do? I'm assuming you'll keep dating youngsters. Seriously, I think we're done now. I already have my opinion of what you think and you have your opinion of what you think. Case closed.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 641
older women younger men
Posted: 5/4/2007 10:50:38 PM

Someone mentioned how we older guys do not like to hang out where we used to. Well where I hung out at 25 is not where I want to hang out at 38.

Neither do I, I go somewhere different, but I still go out. I don't expect everyone to do what I do, so I don't expect judgment about the fact that I do go out.

I also realized from hanging out with some younger people at work, because I didn't want to get loaded a 3rd week in a row and blow another $80 doing it like the previous two weeks, I was called boring and no fun by these 20 something guys and girls.

What on earth do you care what others think? Do what you want...if you don't want to blow a ton of money, don't. That's not their concern. Sheesh...most of us stopped caring about opinions in oh, I don't know, our mid 20s.

I thought man that hurts a bit in the wallet every week that is for sure, goig out for a bite to eat and drinks each week. So I wanted to only have a bite to eat and maybe one or two drinks. I was shocked at being called boring and no fun. And then I hear older women say the samething and how these young guys are more fun. I guess it is true. Not sure but to me partying it up every weekend is not what i call fun still. Is that really a reason to be called boring?

Have whatever you want, it is your life. Again, who cares about what others think?

geez talk music with them and it is all about Tupack, Eminem, Notorious BIG, 50 cent, Nickelback for example. Talk about some classic rock music, 80's music and man you get called old. Only recent music and entertainment is conversable with younger people. Funny thing is my music collection dates a wide range of genres and times...yet start talking about WKRP and you are looked at with a deer in the headlights look.

Some people actually listen to current music, you can appreciate the classics, but where I come from people my age are listening to Eminem, Nickelback, 50 Cent. Notorious BIG is from the early 90s, so he's not current. He's very dead, he's been dead about 11 years or so now, so not sure how that one got in there. Oh, and Tupak is gone too, same thing - early 90s. But anyway, in your 20s you don't care as much about the older stuff...that comes with age. For me it was part of my job so I had to, but my friends could have cared less. That changes.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 646
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Posted: 5/5/2007 5:58:08 AM
"i've tried to clarify the misconceptions...too bad you're so willing to assume you have all the answers rather than read what i have said and take it at face value. you're right, there's really no point in debating further with you as that would require thoughtful discussion, rather than an impulsive reaction coloured by bias and presumption. i sincerely hope that you find someone special and rediscover the joy in this life, rather than continuing to scold others for their preferences and choices. lotsa luck!"

Now who's presuming to know what's in someone else's head? What kind of weak minded fool do you think I am. This online dating site isn't the only place to meet people. It may sound shocking but I meet people elsewhere. My life also doesn't revolve around meeting a woman. It's sad that you think because a person isn't in a relationship, they have no "hope". I know that here in the online fantasy land, any anger or negativity means someone is "lost" or "has no chance", but in the real world it's called being human. I'm positive most of the time and very well liked by everyone I meet. It's usually the comments in here that send me in the other direction. I think it's funny that I ended this yet you still continue to try and explain yourself and slander me in the process.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 648
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Posted: 5/5/2007 11:03:07 AM
curly: I'm trying to goad you.? I'm the angry one? That's funny since I'm the one who cut off the whole mess awhile back without saying much of anything and I come back in to find paragraph after paragraph directed at me. You obviously are someone who likes to have the last word and put yourself in the position of "the better person" (common practice in here). It's apparent that you missed the part where I said my experiences actually weren't bad. The things you're saying sound so pompous. You seem very arrogant to me. I seriously wish a moderator would shut this thread down and kick the high horse out from underneath of you because you're starting to give me a headache.
It must be hell to talk to you on a daily basis.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 650
older women younger men
Posted: 5/5/2007 1:36:14 PM
Why do some people think that all 40 yr old women prefer younger men. Some do. Plenty of others prefer men around the same age or slightly older. Some don't care about age. I emailed a few 40 yr old women. They said I had a nice profile and I was good looking, but they wanted to date someone closer to their age. My age range for dating is early 20s to early 40s. Some other people my age might only date older people or only date people around the same age. Everybody is entitled to their tastes whether it's age, body type, or anything else. There are have been many stereotypes mentioned on this thread. Younger men are immature and are only looking for sex. Older men are lame and boring. Older women who like younger men are using them as trophies and an ego boost. Maybe these things apply to some people, but not all. Some younger men are more compatible with older women and vice versa. Some younger men and older women would have a fling with each other, but not a long term relationship because they have different future goals. Maybe he wants kids and she can't/won't have his kids. She is divorced and doesn't want to get remarried and/or he doesn't want to settle down yet.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 654
older women younger men
Posted: 5/5/2007 2:36:47 PM

In my experience I've actually met NO other women my age that would consider dating a (much) younger guy. This is based on close friends, co workers... in general.. they want to be with an older guy or one their age.


There are some 40+ yr old women who prefer younger men. I have read magazines, books, and websites about older women who date younger men. Even some women here stated they preferred younger men. I do think more older women would prefer a man their age or older than a younger man. I also think a fling or casual relationship between a younger man and older woman is more likely than a long term, serious relationship because ( as I stated in earlier post ) they might have different long term plans and goals.

Yes in some ( not all or most ) cases, they will use each other for sex. The younger man thinks the older woman will be better and more creative in bed because of her sexual experience. The older woman think the younger man will have more energy in bed. Being with a younger attractive man might make her feel better about herself.
 Dreamerxoxoxo
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 659
older women younger men
Posted: 5/6/2007 1:40:07 PM

I find I connect easier with a younger man. I relate more to his musical tastes, his active lifestyle.. all that. The longest relationship I've had was 5 years with a man 18 years younger than I.


I agree with you 100%. Those same exact words have come out of my mouth in the past. It's not that I won't date a guy my age. If he is a young thinker and we have matching interest - fine. However, most men my age and older don't have the same interests. I enjoy the younger guy's zest for life and his energy. All of my friends, males and females, are in their 30's - 40's. I think I'm drawn into their circle because of my interests, youthfulness and energy. I was happily married to a guy 14 yrs younger than me. I'm sure if was still alive we'd still be inseparable.

Have you done any research on today's Cougars?? At first the moniker didn't sit right with me, but after doing some research, I think we rock. We are considered sophisticated, older women who date younger men. We are young thinking, take care of our bodies and have high energy. We are independent needing no financial help from men, we know what we want and how to get it. The young men prefer us to the girls their own age, because we won't ask them out of the blue, what they're thinking about - we don't care..... they like us for our life experiences, our classy laid back personalities and because we truly enjoy being with them. A Cougar is not easily spotted. She lays in wait for the younger guy to enter into her space, which he always does. She has no need to stalk for prey.

Pretty good, huh? I get no negativity from family or co-workers, etc. Most people don't even know my age. They judge my age by my friends, I guess. Besides, I wouldn't care if I did hear something negative about my choice. It's MY choice, it's MY life, it's My happiness. Btw, happiness IS a choice. I don't need person to be happy. I learned a lot about myself during the 4 yrs of self isolation and grief. It's definitely a choice to happy and to share that happiness with those around me.

Btw #2, like BeingJulia's 'tude . . . if we lived in the same county I think we'd be pals. Maybe it's because I'm originally from the northeast and we think along similar lines?
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 660
older women younger men
Posted: 5/6/2007 6:23:33 PM

So please try and remember that not ALL women in their 30's are just after a fun time with a 20yrd man!! Because it's simply NOT true!! there are allot of women out there who would rather have a man who's more mature, responsible, and have much more in common with


Some older women do have more in common with younger men than men their own age. Yes some older women will date a younger men for sex, looks, and a ego boost. That can apply to other type of relationships. The younger women who date older men for money. The older man who dates uses the younger women as a trophy wife. If someone was only looking for sex, they often don't care about the age of the other person. I am 31. If I was looking for a fling or a casual sexual relationship, I wouldn't care if the woman was 21, 31, 41, or even 51.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 662
older women younger men
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:22:48 AM
{quote] So please try and remember that not ALL women in their 30's are just after a fun time with a 20yrd man!! Because it's simply NOT true!! there are allot of women out there who would rather have a man who's more mature, responsible, and have much more in common with

Some older women / younger man relationships are based primary on sex and looks. The younger man who thinks an older woman is good in bed because of her sexual experience. The older woman who thinks the younger man is good in bed because of his sexual energy. Being with a younger man might her feel better about herself and raises her ego.


Plenty of people do have more things in common with their other people around their age, but definitely not all older women / younger men relationships are based on just sex and looks. Some other older women actually have the same interests, personality, and lifestyle with some younger men. Some younger men like the combination of beauty, maturity, and wisdom that some older women have. There are other people who don't care about age when it comes to dating. Someone could meet a nice person who happens to be older or younger than him/her.

Younger men / older women relationships aren't the only type of relationship is based strictly on looks, sex, and other superficial factors. The younger woman who is with an older man because he is rich and famous. The older man who is with the younger woman because she is pretty. Two people around the same age can have a relationship that is based solely on looks and/or money whether both of them are in their 20s, 30s, or 40s.

Many people that are only looking for sex often don't consider age of the other person. I can give a few examples. I know a man who is 33 yrs old. He got divorced about 2 yrs ago and wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Within the past 2 years of he had a casual sexual relationship with a younger woman ( 25 ), a woman around his age ( 34 ), a older woman ( 42 ), and a much older woman ( 51 ). When I was on vacation, I saw a woman who was probably in her early 40s hook up with 2 different men. One man was probably around her age. The other man was probably in his late 20s.

Many older men can be more mature and responsible, but not all of them. Some older men are divorced because he cheated on his wife, his career was more important than his wife among other things.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 663
older women younger men
Posted: 5/7/2007 11:29:23 AM

So please try and remember that not ALL women in their 30's are just after a fun time with a 20yrd man!! Because it's simply NOT true!! there are allot of women out there who would rather have a man who's more mature, responsible, and have much more in common with



Some older women / younger man relationships are based primary on sex and looks. The younger man who thinks an older woman is good in bed because of her sexual experience. The older woman who thinks the younger man is good in bed because of his sexual energy. Being with a younger man might her feel better about herself and raises her ego.


Plenty of people do have more things in common with their other people around their age, but definitely not all older women / younger men relationships are based on just sex and looks. Some other older women actually have the same interests, personality, and lifestyle with some younger men. Some younger men like the combination of beauty, maturity, and wisdom that some older women have. There are other people who don't care about age when it comes to dating. Someone could meet a nice person who happens to be older or younger than him/her.

Younger men / older women relationships aren't the only type of relationship is based strictly on looks, sex, and other superficial factors. The younger woman who is with an older man because he is rich and famous. The older man who is with the younger woman because she is pretty. Two people around the same age can have a relationship that is based solely on looks and/or money whether both of them are in their 20s, 30s, or 40s.

Many people that are only looking for sex often don't consider age of the other person. I can give a few examples. I know a man who is 33 yrs old. He got divorced about 2 yrs ago and wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Within the past 2 years of he had a casual sexual relationship with a younger woman ( 25 ), a woman around his age ( 34 ), a older woman ( 42 ), and a much older woman ( 51 ). When I was on vacation, I saw a woman who was probably in her early 40s hook up with 2 different men. One man was probably around her age. The other man was probably in his late 20s.

Many older men can be more mature and responsible, but not all of them. Some older men are divorced because he cheated on his wife, his career was more important than his wife among other things.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 669
older women younger men
Posted: 5/14/2007 5:42:10 PM

I've only recently begun posting on the boards.. too much time on my hands this week.. but what a huge turn off to find that this is the nature of how people talk to one another... I simply would never tolerate this type of flippant discourtesy in my "real life" and have no use for it here. Please have some self control and be respectful of each other and responsible for what you say and how it is percieved by others.


Well stated and I'm sorry you had to be inducted with this particular thread. This is one that has some extreme nastiness mixed in with some genuinely good posts. You do have to weed through a lot of ... ummm ... stuff, to get to some core answers, that's for certain. As for your question about the "trendiness" of this ~ the only answer I have is that I have never been one to date older. Even in high school, my age or younger. Things in my life did not change. For me it's a simple matter of commonalities. Different time-zones, so to speak. I don't venture much beneath my own age, however. I think it's personal preference for some, a novelty for others. Good luck here!!

~OT~ Julia's post is a perfect example of "it's not the age, it's the person." Some people are just bitter/mean/nasty no matter what age they are. Life owes them something and it's not happening, so it's someone else's fault or it's societal, or it's that women ignore them, or that women are gold-diggers, etc. And it works in reverse...some women judge men quite harshly as well. I suppose my only opinion: if you aren't happy with what's happening in your private life ~ change something (or lot's of things if need be.) We all need to evolve sooner or later, might as well do it while alone, then you just might attract the "right" person.
 Dreamerxoxoxo
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 673
older women younger men
Posted: 5/27/2007 12:13:54 PM
So Dreamerxoxoxo my guess is what you are saying is, after men hit say their late 40's life and love and sex is all over for them?


For the life of me, I don't know how you got that from my post..... I think what I posted was that I have no problem dating someone my age or older as long as they share my interests, youthfulness and energy. I also said that most men my age or older are happiest staying home and watching tv. Don't get me wrong - it's something I do after work each evening - I see nothing wrong with that. I personally have too much energy for that on the weekends. I don't find many older men who enjoy live rock music - it's too loud for them and they aren't comfortable in the places that provide rock bands. Of course, there are exceptions - I do have one or two guy friends my age and older who can run circles around me! (giggles)

Perhaps you should just lighten up a bit - it's all in the attitude. If you're happy and content with who you are, other's will sense that in you and you will see that people of all ages will enjoy being around you. A much respected and admired friend of mine recently told me about an experiment. He said if you force yourself to smile - even if you don't want to - and hold it for a while - you'll soon find that you will actually feel like smiling... it's the physical/mental interaction. He dared me to try it - I did - and it worked!!

I like to surround myself with positive, happy, upbeat people - both males and females. I feed on their energy and they feed on mine. I'm most attracted to and interact well with the alpha male.



Not saying older women are not worth it, some are, but when they have already been there and done it, but I have not...just seems like that is not a connection. And for sure if they are lookign for a guy to rock their world in bed...well forget it, I know I am not going to be that guy.


What I think I hear you saying here is that older women just don't turn you on enough to able to "rock their world in bed"... hey, that's your opinion and choice. I guess you just haven't met the "older" woman who could change your mind. I'm not saying that you should go out and look for an older woman .... what I'm suggesting to you is to keep an open mind and the right woman will come into your life. If you continue to have a defeatist attitude, though, you won't recognize her when she does and you could miss the your chance for meeting her.

I wish you well.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 675
older women younger men
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:12:46 PM
^^^I'm with you. And it has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with mindset, ability to evolve on a daily basis and a willingness to view life in terms of mystery rather than "set in my ways." Sorry, but I have yet to meet someone much older than myself who was willing to break out of his comfort zone to do anything he wasn't already familiar/comfortable with. Life is just too short to live it status-quo. JMO
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