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 Jarci
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 986
older women younger menPage 20 of 83    (6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46)
it's a screwed up world.... everything seems to be new. New rules, new standards new everything. I think it's going to be like the 70's (not that I remember since I was a baby)
There's a new sexual freedom in women today. I remember when, if you were in a relationship, it was understood if not expected for the guy to cheat at some point. Now it's the other way around. Being in the military I saw that first hand. I saw an enourmous amount of loyalty from "the guys" and what began to be called "the two month" call because around the two month timeframe is when the wives/girlfriends would call in and say they found someone else. It was devastating to these guys over there and it mirrors the new trend in society. I've had the unfortunate opportunity to see that first hand.
So to answer the question... People will do what people will do.... if it makes you feel good why not. I wish money would not be involved but I get it.. People sleep in the beds they make for themselves. If it's for money it wont last or at least as long as the money last but ultimately, people need something, people need love but it has to be unconditional. if the an older women and a younger guy fall in love for love's sake, not for money, then more power to them. If it's for fun as long as they're up front with each other and upfront then again, more power!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 987
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History
older women younger men
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:46:03 PM
I don't care. I want to be happy. If I can be happy with someone older, or younger, then I don't care. If other people are happy with someone older, or younger, I don't care either, as long as they are happy. All I want is for other people to stop telling me who I should or should not be with. I really hate it when people think they know what is good for me, when they admit they don't really understand me.

But I will say this: it's in right now, for a woman to be dating a younger man. Is it better or worse? I don't know. I just know that it has become the "in" thing to do.
 Exceptional Woman
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 988
older women younger men
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:27:00 AM
I've never found it to be an issue and though I much prefer an man around my age, I do find that the 25-40 year old guys pursue me on a regular basis. The more educated and worldly these younger men are..the less they are willing to settle for the fluff and stuff that often comes with a younger woman. But, it's all about sharing a commonality and most all men want the same thing - someone that sparks their interest.
 JAMDB
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 990
older women younger men
Posted: 12/23/2008 12:37:03 AM
WHAT DO U THINK?

Sex and the Older Woman

by Joyce Marcel

Sorry to interrupt the political debate with what
might appear like a frivolous topic, but the question
of older women and sex has recently been raised in the
literary journals, and I have something to say about
it.

The argument about the sexuality of older women -
"older" is defined as menopausal or post- - began a
few months ago when author and New York Times Sunday
Magazine pundit Daphne Merkin trashed Gail Sheehy's
new book, "Sex and the Seasoned Woman." Sheehy calls
menopause "a second adulthood" and celebrates women
over 50 for "enjoying a resurgence of desire for
romance and sex, and actively pursuing new dreams and
passions to enliven the many decades they have ahead."

In an article entitled "What's So Hot about 50,"
Merkin responded with, "It should come as no surprise
that Sheehy's book bears little resemblance to any
actuality I have stumbled up against."

According to Merkin, women over 50 may want to have
sex, but older men - at least where she lives - seek
younger women who have "fresher eggs," leaving no one
for the desirous older woman to date. "Men move away
from older women, I would argue, almost instinctively,
because they sense the impending shadow of
nongenerativity like a negative pheromone," Merkin
said.

Jumping into the fray to defend Sheehy's book was
84-year-old Helen Gurley Brown, who wrote "Sex and the
Single Girl" and reinvented Cosmopolitan magazine. She
called the book "realistic and inspiring." And Erica
Jong, who wrote "Fear of Flying" in the 1970s, said
that only in America could this be an issue. "There
are Italian sexpot actresses who are much older," Jong
said. "But somehow in our strangely puritanical yet
sex-obsessed country, people are shocked. That's
uniquely American."

She has a point. If we take radical far-right
Christian dictums about sex seriously (and by that I
mean, without gagging), then Merkin is absolutely
right. Sex is only about procreation. Every sperm is
sacred. Birth control pills are despised by God.
Thanks to Viagra, men can produce babies right up to
the day they die. And older woman? They have neither
eggs nor standing in society. Off with their heads!

However, in the real world, Merkin is wrong, wrong,
wrong! What's with these Times babes, anyway? The
lovely and witty Maureen Dowd wrote a whole book about
how she can't find a man, and now we have Merkin
chiming in. Is there something about having the best
writing gigs in America that makes women less
attractive to men?

If you look closely, you can see that huge
unexpressed, unrealistic and antiquated expectations
are playing a part in this discussion.

If you're at the top of whatever totem pole you have
chosen to climb (an unfortunate but apt image) - and
by the way, congratulations to you! - then you
probably do have a limited pool of available partners
up there with you. (In "Sex and the City," Candace
Bergen, playing a Vogue editor, memorably described it
as "a wading pool.")

But marrying "up" is an outdated and sexist concept.

For one thing, our culture is now full of successful
May-December relationships where the December part is
played by an older woman. Think of Susan Sarandon and
Tim Robbins. In "Prime," an older woman (OK, she's Uma
Thurman, but still) falls in love with a 23-year-old.
She teaches him where the cl*toris is, and he wows her
with his spontaneity and openness.

IN FACT, ACCORDING TO AN AARP POLL I READ ABOUT ON
MSNBC, ALMOST ONE-THIRD OF WOMEN BETWEEN THE AGES OF
40 AND 69 ARE DATING YOUNGER MEN - DEFINED AS 10 OR
MORE YEARS YOUNGER.

And while sex plays a part in these relationships,
it's not the only trigger. Older women like the sense
of adventure that comes with a younger man. They like
the fact that these men are accustomed to women in
positions of influence, since their own mothers
worked. It is helpful that the men's careers are not
as well-developed as their older female partners, so
they are able to move around more easily, travel and
have fun.

The younger men enjoy having a companion with
interesting life experiences, one who is financially
settled, and one who is, because of advances in
medicine and health clubs, still attractive and in
shape. Older women are also more sexually adept.

Ben Franklin was way ahead of his time (or we are
terribly behind in ours) when he recommended older
women as mistresses. He praised them for their ability
to be friends as well as lovers, for being more
prudent and discreet, more interesting to talk to,
and, bluntly, "so grateful!!" (Exclamation points
his.)

Another antiquated expectation is that women must
demand educational or class equality in their
partners. But a successful relationship isn't about
worldly power. It's about kindness. It's about
accepting his/her flaws and still liking him/her. It's
about warmth and laughter and spending time together.

The truth is that each of us is free to follow our own
hearts, wherever they may lead us. And the "experts?"
Well, leave them be. Helen Gurley Brown, Erica Jong,
Gail Sheehy and Daphne Merkin do not speak for me. As
Bob Dylan wrote in "Subterranean Homesick Blues,"
"Don't follow leaders/Watch the parkin' meters."

I learned a long time ago that sexual pleasure doesn't
have to stop for a woman, even when she is over 50,
even when she becomes elderly, and even when she no
longer has a partner. That thought has always brought
me comfort and cheer, because you don't need a
weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 991
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History
older women younger men
Posted: 12/23/2008 5:42:34 AM
I think the whole "men have been doing it for years" statement is a lame excuse. Unless a young woman is a gold digger, young women rarely seem to chase 40-50 year old men. It does happen at times but I'm willing to bet that there have always been a lot more young men with older women than the other way around. Not to sound insulting but men seem to be less picky about age or looks when chasing females if they think sex is in the cards. Personally I don't think age is that important if the relationship isn't for twisted or egotistical reasons. That's when it just seems laughable and sad. Unfortunately, if you look at some of the older women's profiles, it's obvious there is a lot of insecurity and delusions about age and aging.
 jonash2007
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 993
older women younger men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:52:36 PM
I was 22, she was a 41 yr old sensual Brazilian doctor in a remote beach cabaƱa in Southern Mexico...the moon was full...the palms were swaying...the tropical breeze was gentle (and so was she) and that is the night she made me a MAN....whoops...sorry...just thinking out loud again..
 jonash2007
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 994
older women younger men
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:55:57 PM
Oh crap...I just realized this post is like 4 yrs old! lol
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 995
older women younger men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:02:19 PM
OK, here's a shcoker for you: I dated a guy 25 yrs my junior for 9 mos. We both knew it wouldn't be permanent, but we both enjoyed 9 months of fun, chemistry and endorphins! When the chemistry grew stale we both knew it was time to just let it die and move on...but it was fun and passionate when it lasted...couldn't get enough of each other. I'd do it again in a heart beat if the right guy comes across my path. I like them all ages 25 (although usually 15 younger) younger to 7-8 older!
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 996
older women younger men
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:39:32 PM
What gets me is the attitude of the younger man that he has something the more mature woman wants and lusts after, like his is gold plated or something.

I contend that the older woman has it all within herself. She doesn't particularly need or want a younger guy, especially one barely out of diapers. Why the Hell would an older woman push her shopping cart into the ass of a young kid for sex???

A penis is a penis whether it is attached to a kid or a mature older man with history and depth and warmth and smiling eyes and facial hair and who smells woodsy and whose skin is a bit weathered and whose heart is a bit more mellowed by time and experience.

Ummmm, give me the seasoned man with an experienced and appreciative heart. If a younger guy is interested in a mature woman, then HE is the one who needs to pursue and feel grateful that she would even consider giving him the time of day, not the other way around.
 luxemale46nj
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 997
older women younger men
Posted: 1/5/2009 2:50:12 AM
TO ALL YOU OLDER WOMEN THAT DATE YOUNGER MEN,IT IS BECAUSE YOUR..IQ IS THE SAME AS HIS AGE...I HAVE DATED A FEW,,OLDER,ONES..AND ONE DAY I HAD AWAKEN TO REALITY....WHY AM I WITH THIS OLD...BI.......
 jarule19
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 999
older women younger men
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:00:52 AM
I mean I don't think it's bad just got 2 c if they have a connection because I use 2 have sexaual relations with a woman who was 23 yrs older then me n she had but n brains so if the older woman want it give it 2 her if yall click
 aug0808
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 1000
older women younger men
Posted: 1/5/2009 9:04:33 PM
I had a baby with a man 10 years younger. I was 44, he was 34. He is still an incredible part of my child's life. It wasn't the age. Different interests and beliefs. He is a proclaimed anarchist, interested in snobby Jazz, my interest lay in other directions. I think he was really acting 10 years older than me...LOL I still want and need adventure, dancing, shared times, romance, friendship , love....life doesn't need to be so serious! I Still think a guy 10 years younger would be perfect to keep up with an adventurous romantic woman and young child.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 1005
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History
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Posted: 1/6/2009 6:33:17 AM
I'm finding it funny that a 40 year old woman posted a message in here about her passionate affair with a 15 year old boy (or possibly younger) and no women seem to be expressing the "outrage" that would be expressed if the roles were reversed. Interesting double standard amongst the women in here. I guess crimes against children are okay as long as it's a woman committing them. Society is twisted.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 1006
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:01:43 AM

.I HAVE DATED A FEW,,OLDER,ONES..AND ONE DAY I HAD AWAKEN TO REALITY....WHY AM I WITH THIS OLD...BI.......


Considering that you are 47, the older women must have been in their 80s. Unless, of course, you were much, much younger than you are now. A **** is a ****, regardless if age, just as an idiot is an idiot, regardless of sex or age.


I think it is very easy to be attracted to a younger guy...The problem is that you cant have him as a best friend he has to be a toy,and toys are just funny for that long..enough said.


This is a stereotypical, untrue claim. I had a relationship with a much younger man and he continues to be my friend. We discussed everything: philosophy, religion, the nature of the universe, life, death, you name it; he introduced me to his music, and I introduced him to mine. I was also married for 25 years to a man my age; we discussed TV shows, his job, his fishing addiction, and . . . that's about it.

Age is not a limiting factor in having friends with whom one can converse. I received an email from a 19 year old yesterday, but it consisted of netspeak asking me if I wanted to chat on Yahoo or MSN. The profile was filled with inanities. No thanks. However, I have received many similar emails and have seen many similar profiles from men my age and older.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 1007
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:04:30 AM
Who cares? Most women that date very young men seem to be very immature. If I wanted a woman who acted like a 20 year old, I'd be chasing 20 year olds. Good riddance.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 1008
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:29:44 AM

Who cares? Most women that date very young men seem to be very immature. If I wanted a woman who acted like a 20 year old, I'd be chasing 20 year olds. Good riddance.


Sounds like sour grapes to me. If you don't care, why post?

Why shouldn't a woman, or a man, date someone with whom she/he is compatible? I dated a 63 year old man who was "too old" for me; I dated another 63 year old man who was the "right" age, but we wanted different things in life. I have had dates with immature 45 year old men. Age does not always bring maturity or wisdom--or knowledge.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 1009
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:38:36 AM

Sounds like sour grapes to me.


Sounds more like I hit a nerve. I care, because I'd like to meet more women my own age that take care of themselves physically, and are mature enough to have a grown-up relationship.

It's true. I meet so many women my age that want to play games, like they did when they were kids. I am usually the oldest guy they have dated. (Though I don't look it to them. Others may argue.) They can't get over the fact that I actually expect them to have a decent personality and behave like an adult. Once I lose interest (Which happens very quickly.), they go back to dating boys, who will let them behave as they like for a little action. I need a grown-up.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 1010
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 9:41:50 AM

Sounds more like I hit a nerve.


Not at all. More like the desire to comment on:

1. Stereotypes and blanket statements

2. The minor hypocrisies of people who ask "Who cares?" then admit:
I care, because I'd like to meet more women my own age that take care of themselves physically, and are mature enough to have a grown-up relationship.


No matter how I phrase this, it will sound like a personal insult to you, but it isn't how I intend it to be, but there aren't enough "older" women with young men to make a huge percent unavailable to men your age. Don't blame older/younger combinations on your inability to find a suitable woman.

However, I have to wonder about the type of women whom you date. You say:


I am usually the oldest guy they have dated.


You are dating women your age and you are usually the oldest guy whom they have dated? That sounds improbable or as if you date women with VERY limited dating experience! I simply cannot imagine a vast horde of 40+ women who have never dated 40+ men.


They can't get over the fact that I actually expect them to have a decent personality and behave like an adult.


Again, the vast majority of women YOUR AGE whom you date do NOT act like adults? Where do you meet these women?


I need a grown-up.


The solution is simple: date women who are older than you.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 1011
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 10:00:54 AM
gwendolyn2008,

All very common sense... And if you throw attractive out the window, you'd be correct. There are a lot of women that are very much matured to the point they are supposed to be. Not a lot of them are attractive, and the ones that are, are in high demand. I'm not talking beauty-queen attractiveness either. Just clean, healthy looking, and fit.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 1012
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:22:14 PM

Not a lot of them are attractive, and the ones that are, are in high demand. I'm not talking beauty-queen attractiveness either. Just clean, healthy looking, and fit.


I would almost bet that there are women whom you overlook who are clean, fit and healthy looking, but they aren't pretty.

If the "high demand" women don't find you acceptable, what does that say about you?

Again, this is not intended as an insult to you, but rather an observation across the board: many people set their sights too high, and while they shouldn't settle, they do need to be realistic.

Take me, for example: I used to say I wanted a rich, drop-dead handsome, and highly intelligent/educated man. Now, I say I want a self-supporting, attractive (yes, I am shallow, too, but I am not complaining about the dearth of attractive men), and highly intelligent. (Snort.)
 clubkid66
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 1013
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older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:26:39 PM
If it works it works, there is no need to over think this subject.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 1015
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:37:08 PM
If the "high demand" women don't find you acceptable, what does that say about you?



If that were the case, that would be an effective insult. (Very mature of you BTW.) But... I still find plenty of attractive women to date. So far, they tend not to be as attractive on the inside, or grown enough mentally and emotionally. I haven't dated every woman in the world (Or even in my neighborhood.), so I still have hopes of finding what I'm looking for. So far I haven't been rejected by the type I'm looking for. I just haven't found her. (I am only assuming she's out there ... and in high demand.)


Again, this is not intended as an insult to you, but rather an observation across the board: many people set their sights too high, and while they shouldn't settle, they do need to be realistic.


The old "No offense, but..." routine? Are you sure you want to play this game?
Nah... I won't go there. Too easy.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 1016
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 2:49:15 PM
luxemale? Are you serious??!! From the looks of your profile, she must have been about 89.

IF I were to consider dating a younger guy, and I have, he would have to be someone pretty darned special and there are some out there who aren't just interested in a piece of experienced a**.

I could be wrong here, but it seems that the young dudes think the older women can't get any.....well, that just isn't so. There's plenty of "it" out there to be had and in all ages and packages.

I think much more of myself than that. I don't think the Chippendales are worth crossing the street for, I don't think a six pack is attractive unless its Molson's...or abs or a tight ass.

Ego is a huge turnoff for me. Mutual admiration, respect, having fun together, enjoying intelligent conversations, looking deeply into one's eyes and thrilling at the touch of that special someone...whose voice makes you smile.

You just sound like a guy who can't get anything but fat chicks and maybe an older woman. You know, sour grapes and all that. Don't be a hater. There's someone for everyone, hang in there and maybe you'll find someone more your style....yeah, right.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 1017
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 2:54:09 PM
ewwww cw35,

I guess I must have missed that one...that disgusts me personally. That's child molestation.

She should go to jail. Period. A child that age is a hormone with three legs and whose brain hasn't fully developed yet.

Let some Biatchhh mess with one of my Gsons when they are 15 and I'll shoot her ass off. And that's all I have to say about that.
 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 1019
view profile
History
older women younger men
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:40:35 PM
"her passionate affair with a 15 year old boy "

I missed this one, too, Zephyr. I am also disgusted by it.

When the first season of Desperate Housewives had Gabby having sex with the under 18 garden boy I was enraged ... and I don't watch the show partly due to that promotion of child molestation without consequence by a Disney channel show. However, they were gender indifferent. The next season the high school girl with the teacher didn't end up with the molester being arrested that time either.
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