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 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 302
older women younger menPage 8 of 83    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

So there are all these remedies out there..for the saggy anything but the thing you can't remedy is the heart and the soul. You either have it or you don't.

I have heard walking on your butt is good for the butt. Amusement for the children if nothing else.

Green eyes what is the pencil test?? I am guessing but is it over or or under?


LMAO @ walking on your butt....I have watched people doing that. It is funny ~ I'll have to ask the specifics the next time I see that. I wasn't quite sure what they hell they were doing. LOL ~ now I have the funniest mental picture!

Pencil test: That is when you take a pencil and put it underneath each ta ta. If it falls to the floor, you pass ~ if not, you still pass ~ you just don't pass the pencil test.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 307
older women younger men
Posted: 7/17/2006 1:25:02 PM

Someone 54 is not gonna want kids again after she raised say 3 already right?


I'm 42 and that wasn't an option when I was 24. I will say ~ I'm amazed when I talk to men near my age or a few years older who still want babies. OH HELL NO. I did my romper room time. I'm retired. I purposely got spayed when I was 24. I'm a one man woman and a one kid Mom. So I can really relate to this statement, there is nothing wrong with you wanting children, and I think you are thinking ahead of the game to factor that in with age. Stick to your preferences. I do ~ they have proved to be very valuable and have saved a lot of hurt feelings for everyone involved.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 308
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older women younger men
Posted: 7/17/2006 2:13:26 PM
@underworld ...
Almost like a guy is to read between the lines that he is not good enough when he gets older.
Underworld ... you are an "older" man at the age of 37? LMAO OMG ... you are a "younger" man in the prime of his life! Also, if you do want children it just goes to reason that you'd probably not want a lady out of her child-bearing years. Sounds like you know what you want.

Who cares what all these people are saying about "older women and younger men"? Some of us do prefer men our own age and younger ... and yes this thread is in the "over 30" category, but many of us are way over 30. You must keep that in mind when responding to the posts.

That being said it is like I am not to have a preference.
Of course you are entitled to your preferences just as anyone else is. The time you spend writing all the stuff you write you could be out finding a lady that "fills your bill".

I say go for what you want BUT when a guy says he prefers women his own age why would he be told to go for women a lot older? Almost like he is being told if he does not he will be single for life?
I do not believe anyone in this thread would ever promote the idea that you abandon your preferences because a few select women you have perhaps chosen to contact have not been interested. In fact, several of us have tried our best to convince you that you need to stick to your preferences.

However, several of us are promoting the idea that you lighten up a bit … settle down … don’t be so defensive. Consider the impression your words might make on a woman who might be considering contacting you. The posts here in the forums are out there for all to read … even those who don’t post.

Women in their 50's, some look great to me BUT does she want a family again?
I don’t know too many women who are interested in this … which is why it’s so very important for you to focus on ladies your age and somewhat younger … if you really do want to start a family.

If you find the years slipping by and that possibility no longer exists … consider the other possibility … getting together with a very caring, loving woman who already has children that would embrace you in their lives. It takes a very big man to be able to do this … love another’s child unconditionally like his own. But I honestly believe you could pull it off.

I went to the category of “Over 30” and found several threads that might be of interest … I have listed them here … there are many more.

Guys over 30...do they even exist?
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts4568929.aspx

Thirty and not married
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/3371628datingPostpage7.aspx

What to do when ones social circle is gone...
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts4589465.aspx

There’s also a possibility you might meet a very smart, caring young lady in an evening class at the local college. Now wouldn’t that just seal the deal! A lady looking to better herself … apparently ambitious … willing to take the extra step it takes to do so … I’d wager she’s no “dumbbell” … and if she’s in the same class as you’re in … probably has like interests.

Your posts indicate to me you are a passionate man ... turn some of that passionate energy into something that will do you good ... bring something positive into your life. Feel free to email me if you want ... I try to help any poster who contacts me.


 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 310
older women younger men
Posted: 7/17/2006 6:09:12 PM

Women in their 50's, some look great to me BUT does she want a family again?


That is a question you have to ask each woman regardless of age. I was definitely finished having kids at 30, my daughter had her tubes tied at 21. All women are different in their desire to breed.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 318
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Posted: 7/18/2006 12:45:11 PM
^^^^
My problem is that I only need about 1/2 to 1/3 of a woman. I just have too many other interests and most women want 100% of my attention.
I know you said you were mostly kidding about this ...

... but this is a real problem. There are truly a lot of women who really do want a large percentage of their man's time. And believe me ... there are a lot of men doing the same thing to women ... they want large percentages of our time and many women as well as men just can't seem to work that out well enough to maintain a loving, caring relationship. So sad.

However, I honestly believe that's just a phase any woman / man goes through at the beginning of a relationship. They just can't seem to get enough of you and so it appears they want 100% of you. Just be patient ... if it's given a little time, things do settle down and attention can be given to "other interests".

Not generalizing here, but unfortunately ... I have found that men with so many "other interests" in your age range are becoming less and less flexible about trying to meet a lady half way when it comes to that. I am 57 years old and I too have many "other interests" ... that's part of being our age ... we have not reached this age in a vacuum. So by that time in our lives, one would hope that we do have many interests.

The key to a successful relationship at "our" age is the intermingling of those "other interests" with those of our partner. Negotiate ... okay I'll give this "interest" less time so I'll have more time for you, but please try to meet me half way on this! Time and time again I have tried that, but the doggone guys just won't budge a inch.

They are just so darn set in their ways ... have their schedules worked out to the minute ... and have apparently been at it for so long that they just can't budge from it. Apparently it would throw them off balance ... or something ... who knows?

That's why I'm finding it more and more necessary to consider men my age and younger ... they are simply more flexible and eager to accommodate my interests ... at least meet me half way. In return ... as I said ... I have no problem doing the same for them.

I know women are doing the same thing as I described above ... won't budge a doggone inch to accommodate a gentleman and then whine about not being able to find a man! People who act that way still have not learned that a realtionship is not about one or the other ... it's about being mature enough to realize it's about both of them ... together!

Together we can work this out so that neither feels left out or so that neither feels they are giving up more than the other. Together we can still find plenty of quality time to give the other ... but still have time to pursue something that is of no interest to our partner.

In the meantime ... I'm just going to "play" here in the forums ... pursue my "other interests" and hope that someday I will stumble onto a loving, caring gentleman who would be more than willing to meet me half way so we can experience a mature relationship.

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 319
older women younger men
Posted: 7/18/2006 1:16:15 PM
cotter.

I, for one, am NOT 24/7 material. Getting me to commit to one movie or dinner a week is a feat. When I was dating, the men I dated definitely dated women other than me. That was my preference every bit as much as theirs. I see no reason that a man should give up his sex life or his social life because I am "who" I am. I am newly back in the dating mode, but I have NO intentions on being exclusive (stranger things have happened, but it's not my plan today) so it would be insanely hypocritical of me to want anyone to see only me. If he can handle more than one of us ~ he deserves the option to do so.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 320
older women younger men
Posted: 7/18/2006 2:11:25 PM
"My problem is that I only need about 1/2 to 1/3 of a woman. I just have too many other interests and most women want 100% of my attention."

Can we spell "generalizaton"? How about "stereotype"? Because one, some, or many women (or men) do something that is annoying, doesn't mean that EVERY woman does that.

Some of us don't want 100% of a man's attention; it is cloying and smothering. A person who doesn't value his/her time alone or time away from other people is a needy person with low self esteem. Likewise, a man who wants 100% of an independent woman's time is going to be disappointed.


But wait, what did this have to do with older women/younger men?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 321
older women younger men
Posted: 7/18/2006 2:17:49 PM
"Well I'm 44 and look more like 34, as well as being young-minded, so I tend to date younger than myself."

Why try to rationalize that you like younger women? Looking younger has NOTHING to do with it. What does being "young minded" entail? Immaturity? Still obsessed with riding skateboards? Not being able to hold down a job? Working at McDonald's?

Also, don't believe everything that people tell you, especially about looking younger than you are--people lie. Besides, what does 44 look like?

Going off on a tangent. Stopping.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 322
older women younger men
Posted: 7/18/2006 2:42:09 PM
^^^^^^^^^^ That certainly hasn't been my experience. The out of the bedroom experience is exactly WHY I prefer those younger. Inside the bedroom ~ sex is sex ~ good sex takes two.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 323
older women younger men
Posted: 7/18/2006 3:20:41 PM
Hmmm . . . I had a date with a 48 year old man who tried feeling me up in a public place . . . and had several dates with a 30 year old who kissed my hand at the end of the date.

Yes, younger men definitely do not know how to treat a woman.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 325
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Posted: 7/18/2006 4:42:26 PM
@ "Uncle" ...
Thank you so much for taking that in the spirit it was meant. It pleases me that you did not come back with all kinds of defensive answers ... instead it was a productive answer. A true gentleman!

Although I doubt they'll incorporate it into our profiles, it wouldn't hurt if people discussed it on their own as "flsoldier" mentioned. Unfortunately I think it would evenutally be taken the wrong way as some would misinterpret it.

Some seem to feel they can give 100% and expect that in return ... that might really be the way a 50% / 50% relationship really works ... but they wouldn't see it that way. I fear the wording on such a question would have to be very articulate so that no one could misinterpret it and then you'd still have to count on many who just wouldn't understand it!

However ... nice try ... "A" for effort!

 SeekingSerendipity
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 327
older women younger men
Posted: 7/18/2006 7:07:16 PM
Colormehappy....

I have already started.....one cat...29 to go
 KarmicKiss805
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 328
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Posted: 7/19/2006 5:07:05 AM
Well, let's see here, I just dated guys I was attracted to, never met anyone I even came close to calling my boyfriend, then... I was almost 21 he was 16, only I had no clue he was so young, wasn't til after 5 hours of talking around a bonfire with about 35 other people, 4 hours of making out and just as the sun was rising, that we decided to ask each others age, he said 16 and then looked at me, what the hell was I to do? So I said I was almost 18, when we were leaving, he asked for my number, I spent almost 30 minutes trying to convince him he was too young. We were together for 21 years. So, what do I think? I think, like a few of the previous posts, that it should not be based solely on age. I do from time to time, date men closer to my age, most of them just look like they could be my dad, yes I know it's not always about aesthetics, but, come on, without that animal magnetism, it just ain't happenin for this older girl. So, it comes down to my preference of dating younger men, most say it's because I have a problem with commitment, but that's a whole other forum...
 vbxtc
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 329
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Posted: 7/19/2006 5:30:17 AM
I've always been attracted to older women. The parameters on my profile are +/- 5 years, but honestly if I'm really attracted to someone then age is just a number. When my ex-fiance and I met I thought she was in her mid-30's. I was 32. Turns out she was a very young-looking/acting 47...and it didn't make a bit of difference when I found out. We were together for 8 years, she's still my best friend, and in my humble opinion is still as sexy as when we first met.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 330
older women younger men
Posted: 7/19/2006 5:55:06 AM
"I have already started.....one cat...29 to go"

Seeking, I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but living alone with FOUR cats qualifies you as being an official Crazy Cat Lady. If you live with someone, the number goes up to six. If you live on a hill, it makes the designation even stronger.

As far as putting a percentage on how much time we would spend with someone--good grief! (The expletive would be deleted.) Is everything so easily defined? Maybe I would want to spend 50% of my time with one man, but only 33.5% with another. How can you possibly put a number on something like that? If the quota was not met for a week or month, would you have to cut back or add some time?

"Let's see, you are alloted 25% but I only saw you 23.5%--we can have half of lunch next week."

And they tell me that I am not logical.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 332
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Posted: 7/19/2006 11:29:31 AM
I don't think any person should be someone else's emotional prisoner.
I have to agree ... to be in a realtionship like that would indicate to me that someone is extremly needy and just needs the other partner. It's also an indication to me that the person probably had no real "other interests" of their own and so the partner with interests ends up giving them up to be there for such a partner. This would not work for me.

Relationships are stronger when the individuals can fully be themselves.
I'm not quite sure how that was meant and I may be interpreting that wrong. I believe we can have relationships in which we can have the sense that we are "fully being ourselves", but for me to fully be myself ... that would mean I do just what gives my life meaning without consideration for another. (Oh dear ... I do hope that didn't sound selfish, because it wasn't meant like that.)

However, I can have the "sense" of fully being myself within a relationship when I know that my partner is taking my needs and desires into consideration even if in the end I have to give a little up ... and vice versa.

For example:
He likes to play golf, I do not know how to do that and have no real desire to participate. I would much rather be out riding my bike ... an indication that I enjoy being outdoors, but he just doesn't enjoy bike riding. So although I do not play golf, I go with him and in between hitting the ball, we have a chance to have some good conversation. I'm with him while he's doing his thing and still get to be outdoors and (unless he uses a cart) I get a nice walk while I'm with him ... maybe even get to smooch with him a little and hold hands.

I enjoy doing cross stitch ... truly a one-person thing. He enjoys sitting at the computer and doing his thing from time-to-time (also a one-person thing as two cannot use the same computer at the same time). I can still spend time with him ... sitting across the room doing my cross stitch while he does his thing on the computer. If we feel a need to be close or just want to exchange a touch or kiss, we're just a few steps from each other, but we're still doing our own thing.

I sing and even occasionally put on Karaoke shows for charity purposes ... I have my own equipment and discs. Perhaps he doesn't sing and has no real interest in this, but has a lot of respect for my abilities and believes strongly in the charity I am helping. He can be supportive by going with me and helping me with the equipment set-up, organizing request slips for me and even getting needed discs out or putting them away ... so that the show runs smoothly, and helping with the clearing up process afterwards which will get me out of there twice as fast and back home ... in his arms.

There are obviously going to be activities or "other interests" that one just cannot include a partner in unless the partner is also an active participant ... dancing is one. I'm a dancer ... have been at it for over 35 years. If he does not dance, that could create problems as I cannot imagine he would be happy to just go sit and watch me dancing with other men.

I have considered that and came to the conclusion that if I meet a man who really makes my socks roll up and down but does not dance and has no interest, it would be something I would give up. I have had my enjoyment in it over the years, can look back on it with fond memories, and would have no regrets.

I'm sensible enough to know that to try to pursue it alone while in a relationship would not be productive. It would be more fulfilling to find an activity to pursue with my partner where he gets as much pleasure out of it as I do ... there's lots out there, one just has to be willing to find it.

It's just a matter of two mature adults who want to be together ... giving and taking in a manner in which the other does not feel left out.

OT: Unfortunately I have not experienced that kind of willingness with "older" gentlemen and thus I find I am now having to look at the possibility of seeking a "younger" partner who would have the capacity to be more "flexible" about those situations. It doesn't mean that I'm a "cougar" (as has been suggested here occasionally) ... it just means that I'm not finding a man my age who wants to meet me half way.

That's not my problem ... it's their problem. And I would suggest that any "older" man reading and participating in this thread re-examine their behavior with that in mind.

In all fairness ... as I have mentioned before ... there are a lot of women out there doing the same thing ... they just do not have the capacity to be more "flexible" about incorporating the activities or "other interests" of a man. If they too do not re-examine their behavior, they may have to accept the possiblity of not finding a partner ... well not a life partner.

 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 334
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Posted: 7/19/2006 3:10:27 PM

I wanted to go do something by myself or with the guys...and believe me, it wasn't constant. I just wanted to do my own thing sometimes. I don't want to be around anyone 24/7....it's nothing personal.
And if there is trust in the relationship (which there should be), then there should be nothing wrong with that. The problems arise (as I see it) when only one partner participates in things like that. Then the other partner tends to sit around and mope about things.

Anyone who needs time like that who is coupled up with a partner ... who has no activity to pursue in that manner ... needs to encourage that partner to also seek something innocent and fun to do on their own.

I was in a relationship where my SO just did not necessarily want to go with me when I wanted to go out singing. He had no problem with me going by myself. He always knew exactly where I was, always knew that if he changed his mind and decided to join me he was welcome to show up and he always knew he'd find nothing other than me participating in a Karaoke evening with some of my other friends who also sing.

While he never really left the house for his "space", (he didn't do the "guy" thing) however he still had projects and other interests that did not include me and it didn't bother me in the least. I just found a project to keep me busy and we never squabbled about it.

Good point ... Colin
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 335
older women younger men
Posted: 7/19/2006 3:20:46 PM
Enrico, I didn't say that...I was quoting some guy who said that! I am 53 and I look 53--because this is how Gwen is supposed to look at 53.

I was involved with a much younger man for several years, but I am much to discreet than to discuss THAT on POF.

As for percentages, you can be 100% commited to someone but not spend 100% of your time with that person--that would be stifling. I laugh when I see couples who have the same shirts on, looking as if they were twins instead of wife and husband. I want a partner, not a clone. I can stand to be around myself 24 hours a day, but anyone else, I would need a break from time to time.
 SeekingSerendipity
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 336
older women younger men
Posted: 7/19/2006 5:38:44 PM
~deflated~ awwww Gwendolyn that means I am closer than I thought...living with someone....my gawd...I like my stuff to stay in one spot....where I left it...does that make me bad? Or perhaps more likely to be the "Crazy Cat Lady"....I am doomed...I think I need a drink


As for percentages....

Life is way too short.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 337
older women younger men
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:38:48 AM
Stromba, what the hell did you do yourself?
 timberghost
Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 338
older women younger men
Posted: 7/21/2006 5:44:13 PM
Older women rock!!!
When I was 23 I hooked up with a 33 yro. All I got to say was wow, it was great, best sex I've ever had. I couldn't walk upright for a week.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 339
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Posted: 7/22/2006 1:59:20 PM
@ timberghost ...
best sex I've ever had. I couldn't walk upright for a week.
Are you sure you didn't get a hold of a young "Cougar"? That's a different thread!

I thought this thread was about "older women younger men" long-term! Well ... at that age, I guess you weren't looking for long-term ... you're forgiven!

What about now? Would you still be that interested in an older woman? huh? C'mon ... out with it!

Not asking for my sake ... mind you ... just for the sake of the thread.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 340
older women younger men
Posted: 7/22/2006 3:19:34 PM
Timber,

Could you talk to her when you couldn't walk upright?

People assume that age difference relationships are ALWAYS about the sex but they are just like the relationships of people of like age--when the sex gives out, if there is no common ground, of course it will die.

I wouldn't have sex with a man with whom I can't converse, younger or my age. Sex is easy to come by, a man with a brain is much less easy to find. Still, I AM shallow, he needs to be attractive, as well.
 limomominLV
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 346
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older women younger men
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:22:41 PM
because I can...and they'll never go back to "little" girls..lol
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 347
older women younger men
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:50:37 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^ So true!!!
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